Marriage gone stale

[shinies]

Seryosong asking for a friend


Mga limang taon na silang kasal.
Si misis nagtrabaho sandali tapos nagresign na simula ng ikasal sila. Si mister ang nagttrabaho at sakto naman sa mga kailangan at gusto nila sa buhay.

Nagtaksil si mister. Nagsisi, pinatawad, tinanggap ni misis. Di na umulit.

Hindi sila magkaka-anak at wala silang balak magampon.

Nakatira sila sa bahay ng magulang ni mister. Walang kailangan gawin si misis. May tagaluto, tagalinis, tagalaba, tagalahat na.

Nagnenetflix lang si misis buong araw. Nagdedate naman sila pag walang pasok si mister.

Pag nag-aaway sila, isang subok lang si mister suyuin si misis. May pataasan din ng pride minsan tipong "ayaw mo di wag". Hanggang sa magkalimutan at magbati sila ng di inaayos ang problema.


Ngayon, namomroblema si mister dahil tingin niya napapanis na yung pagsasama nila.. Hindi na daw gaya ng dati. Sinubukan niya ayusin nagdala ng pari para kausapin silang dalawa Nagalit si misis lalo na walang sinabi yung pari kundi dapat magkaanak sila (eh hindi nga magkaka-anak)
Imbis na makatulong, parang lalo nagkalayo loob nila sa isa't isa..

Ang nasabi na lang namin eh subukan niya ligawan ulit si misis at siguraduhin niya nararamdaman ni misis na nagbago na siya at di uulitin yung kasalan niya.


Tingin niyo, kaya ba ganyan si misis kasi nagtaksil noon si mister?
O talagang ayaw niya kumilos kasi di naman kailangan? Kaya kahit sa pagsasama nila, ganun din di rin siya nageeffort?
O walang siyang gana kasi di naman sila magkakaanak?
All of the above?

[kvandenhaak]

^He has to ask the wife exactly what is going on really. It's hard to assume.

[rarity]

How we see the world outside good or bad always begins inside. They say, "idle minds are the devils playground" ibig sabihin yung mga tao na walang ginagawa mahilig magisip and stress and often create problems that sometimes are not there. Since walang work si wife I would suggest she finds something to do with her life I think it is a dissatisfaction with her own life  reflecting in her own family plus the stress is probably making it harder to get pregnant. Kung may something new in her life like a job or business she would probably be happy to talk about it with his husband or the husband's family. If that doesnt work then perhaps it was the infidelity but in this case I think it is internal ang problem ni wife.     

[glamorosa_09]

Buhul-buhol na siguro yan... di pa siguro healed si wife sa infidelity ni husband especially kung di pa katagalan (3-5 years from discovery day)... mababa na quality ng marriage nila sa iba't ibang aspeto... yes, idleness contributed too... more time to obsess and stress...

Need to heal from infidelity, overhaul the marriage, reinvent wife's individuality. Kailangan trabahuhin...

[shinies]

Wala, ayaw nga ni misis pagusapan mga problema nila ala sweeping under the rug.

Paano kung trip talaga ni misis na walang gawin sa buhay? Di ba parang yun yung sinasabing pangarap ng karamihan na chill lang

Parang tama naman yata yung sinabi namin na suyuin at ligawan muna niya si misis.. Tapos pag ok na sila at open na, saka gawin yung heart to heart talk.
Hindi naman kasi makikinig kung agad agad ano

[Girltalker2]

^ I see you only have the guy's point of view. Actually we don't know what's going on talaga unless you hear both pov.

Problem with the guy naman kasi why he shares such problems to you all? Di ba parang off Yun? Unless marriage counselor kayo or close friend ng girl na may magagawa kayo sa problema nila. If not, I don't understand why husbands do this.

[rarity]

Wala, ayaw nga ni misis pagusapan mga problema nila ala sweeping under the rug.

Paano kung trip talaga ni misis na walang gawin sa buhay? Di ba parang yun yung sinasabing pangarap ng karamihan na chill lang

Parang tama naman yata yung sinabi namin na suyuin at ligawan muna niya si misis.. Tapos pag ok na sila at open na, saka gawin yung heart to heart talk.
Hindi naman kasi makikinig kung agad agad ano

In my opinion sa una lang yan na gusto chill lang ang buhay as you get older tas nakikita mo your friends your classmates umaasenso and may napupundar sa buhay tas ikaw chill lang umaasa sa magulang hahangarin din siguro ng tao na may maachieve sa buhay diba. We are here on this earth to evolve to become better and better versions of ourselves and not to be stagnant.

[hisana]

Agree...to better assess the situation, we need an idea of the wife's version of events. Recently may sobrang namroroblema kaming friend kasi ayaw na sya balikan nung asawa nya. I am not superclose to them, but this came as a shock, because there was no sign of any serious problem at all. Kailan lang nakwento na gusto pa nga sana nung asawa nya ng another child with our friend and they seemed okay whenever I saw them. Parang ang hirap mag-advise kasi one-sided yung story. For sure may mas serious problem pa other than that what our friend claimed na dahilan kung bakit sila maghihiwalay (very huge fight daw kasi laging gumigimik si friend).

Maybe some other therapist can successfully make the wife talk and finally figure out what's wrong. Well, anyway, based on the info, I think factor nga yang nagtaksil sya. Maybe she wants to truly fully forgive but needs more time. O kaya pwedeng depressed, may pinagdadaanan personally, so affected syempre ang marriage. Also it could be just a low phase in the relationship. It's difficult (and unrealistic) to be able to maintain a constant state of marital bliss.

[xiannasofia]

are you the other woman?

[shinies]

^ I see you only have the guy's point of view. Actually we don't know what's going on talaga unless you hear both pov.

Problem with the guy naman kasi why he shares such problems to you all? Di ba parang off Yun? Unless marriage counselor kayo or close friend ng girl na may magagawa kayo sa problema nila. If not, I don't understand why husbands do this.

Di namin close yung misis eh kaya di namin makukuha panig niya.
Yung mister ang kaibigan namin. Ginagawa ng mga lalaki yan pag di nila makausap misis nila o di sila marunong makipagusap.
Sabi din kasi niya, mukhang ok kami ng mister ko kaya sa amin siya nagtatanong paano ba mga ginagawa namin para maging ok kami. Wala din kasi kami anak pero nagttrabaho naman ako.

Kumbaga eh "napipilitan" siya makipagusap sa iba kasi di niya makausap misis niya?

In my opinion sa una lang yan na gusto chill lang ang buhay as you get older tas nakikita mo your friends your classmates umaasenso and may napupundar sa buhay tas ikaw chill lang umaasa sa magulang hahangarin din siguro ng tao na may maachieve sa buhay diba. We are here on this earth to evolve to become better and better versions of ourselves and not to be stagnant.

Sa totoo lang, siya lang yung taong alam ko na walang ginagawa ng ilang taon na at ok lang sa kanya yun..

Agree...to better assess the situation, we need an idea of the wife's version of events. Recently may sobrang namroroblema kaming friend kasi ayaw na sya balikan nung asawa nya. I am not superclose to them, but this came as a shock, because there was no sign of any serious problem at all. Kailan lang nakwento na gusto pa nga sana nung asawa nya ng another child with our friend and they seemed okay whenever I saw them. Parang ang hirap mag-advise kasi one-sided yung story. For sure may mas serious problem pa other than that what our friend claimed na dahilan kung bakit sila maghihiwalay (very huge fight daw kasi laging gumigimik si friend).

Maybe some other therapist can successfully make the wife talk and finally figure out what's wrong. Well, anyway, based on the info, I think factor nga yang nagtaksil sya. Maybe she wants to truly fully forgive but needs more time. O kaya pwedeng depressed, may pinagdadaanan personally, so affected syempre ang marriage. Also it could be just a low phase in the relationship. It's difficult (and unrealistic) to be able to maintain a constant state of marital bliss.

Nakakagulat nga kasi mukha naman ok naman sila. At hindi namin kahit kailan nakitaan si mister na kaya gumawa ng ganung kasalan. Pero yun pala patong patong na nga problema nila..

Umayaw dun sa pari si misis kaya baka di payag diyan sa therapist. Lalo na sa Pinas hindi maganda tingin kung nagpapatherapist ka.
Siguro pag nasuyo na niya, baka pwede subukan ulit yung ideya na yan?

are you the other woman?

Ako ba as TS? Teleserye much

[kaythrielle]

^ I see you only have the guy's point of view. Actually we don't know what's going on talaga unless you hear both pov.

Problem with the guy naman kasi why he shares such problems to you all? Di ba parang off Yun? Unless marriage counselor kayo or close friend ng girl na may magagawa kayo sa problema nila. If not, I don't understand why husbands do this.

I definitely agree with this. Kaya minsan mas lumalaki pa yung problema. For me, dapat talaga kung may problema ang mag-asawa, dapat pag-usapan nilang mag-asawa. Anong magagawa ng ibang tao eh hindi naman sila yung involved sa situation.
Kahit na ano pang sabihin at paikot ikot na dahilan, yung mag-asawa lang talaga ang makakapag-come up ng solution sa problema nila. Hindi pwedeng isa lang sa kanila. Mas lalong hindi ibang tao.

[lovemeagain30]

My unpopular suggestion is BUMUKOD SILA MAG ASAWA.

Based on your kwento TS, its high time you suggest to your guy friend to LEAVE AND CLEAVE.

Kung gustong ibalik ang spice ng marriage then live outside their comfort zone.

Bakit kamo?? It will strengthen the marriage kapag sila nalang dalawa. They will not just built a house, they will build a HOME.  It will bring out their best and worst as well. Everyday life is not always the same. any married couples who are living on their own will understand this.   

Kung gusto ng guy friend mo to put their marriage to a whole new level of challenge, then ito na yun! 

** Pahabol ko lang din gaya sabi ng iba, pagkatapos mong mag bigay suggestion hayaan mo na si guy friend.  male version siya 'damsel in distess' , unless "ninang ka sa kasal" nila -- bahala ka na kamo sa buhay niya. haha!   kami mag asawa we make use of our ninang or ninong sa kasal kung minsan may away kaming mabigat. they are there for a purpose you know?

[krispygreen]

Mahirap talaga mag advise sis kung one sided lang. Like other sisses here I feel like may malalim na reason bakit ganon si wife. Ano ba ginawa ng friend mo to ask forgiveness sa nagawa nia dati and to help the wife heal completely? It's either hindi pa sya nag heal from that or may bagong reason bakit lagi syang malungkot at walang gana sa buhay and sorry sobrang off talaga if our spouses/partners are airing our dirty laundry in public kahit kaibigan nio pa sya at kahit ano pa pinag samahan nio. I have girl friends and never ko knwento sakanila kung ano man pinagdadaanan namin ngayon. Why? because I respect my husband and and our marriage and kung may mga bagay ako na hindi ko maopen up sakanya, mas lalong hindi ko dapat sabihin sa ibang tao. Siguro sis if you want na maayos yung marriage ng friend mo, convince him to talk to his wife. If wala talaga, suyuin nia kahit hindi nia alam ano talagang problema. Make an effort to reach out. Baka kasi mamaya pag sinabi ni wife na walang problema eh tapos na, hindi na mag fofollow up si husband kahit obvious naman na meron. Dun nia malalaman kung talagang wala ng pakialam yung wife nia kasi tayong mga babae malakas instict natin, very emotional tayo and mabilis magtampo pero pag nag reach out naman satin husbands natin and alam nating sincere mabilis din naman lumambot mga puso natin.