Why do men pay for sex

[rjaye_2000]

I recently caught my husband chatting a girl who offers escort/dating service. The girl asked him to buy her first with a specific food which can only be bought online. My husband did what she ask and asked her to meet him. Fortunately, the girl did not show up and left my husband hanging.

After I found out about his infidelity, I confronted him but all he managed to say was sorry and did not provide me any reason why he had done it. I'm still clueless what made him do it when he assured me there's nothing wrong with me. 

[Girltalker2]

He is just a jerk and an *sshole. Don't worry, most men are.

[rjaye_2000]

He is just a jerk and an *sshole. Don't worry, most men are.

I think so too.....

[sarsingkit]

I guess escort services are "safer" than kabit. Canoodling with escorts has no strings attached unlike a mistress who have a huge potential to confront the wife. If a guy is single and likes to pay for sex, it is because he can't get it for free. =)

[AprilGal26]

Hi, I've met someone who've done that many times before (getting an escort or PSP while on his marriage).
As per the guy, he just want to try new things (cause of sawa factor na din) and paying a girl or getting a PSP would be the easiest and fastest way to fulfil their sexual desires that he wanted to feel that   time
Actually ganito yung usapan with that guy,
ME: "bakit mo ginagawa yun?"
GUY: " Naghahanap ng bago,"

Pero sabi nya, he never paid for a same girl twice, meaning iba-iba..kasi nga, para laging may bago. Pero he never left his wife and that remained a secret, I guess

Yun din ang hirap kapag maraming pera yung mga lalaki e, hehe
Sabi nga, "A Woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything."

I've learned that time na kaya pala dapat din talaga yung wife yung nagmamanage ng finances, para malimit yung chance ng husband na gumawa ng such  things.

Well, I hope that was the first time your husband tried that thing, cause more often than not, once tried and experienced doing that, uulit ulitin nya yun

Good luck sis! 

[glamorosa_09]

Re: why men pay for sex

I think the deeper question here is, "why men have strong sex drive?" If you want to understand male and sex, there's a lot of articles found in the net. You may also read on the perspectives of biological and evolutionary psychology about this matter.

But even though the answer to this may be biologically driven, we're humans and are capable to think morally. Kaya lang, not all people have strong morals. One will naturally feel some sexual urge, it's part of nature, but it is the individual's moral self who will think if what one is doing is right or wrong.

Now the story of emotional affair is different from sexual affair.

Re: escort sites and social media

I guess any individual who has an easy access to internet has an opportunity to cheat. And when one has an opportunity to cheat, there is a higher likelihood that (sexual or emotional) infidelity will happen. This is applicable for both men and women.

Re: if there's something wrong with you

Perhaps there's really nothing wrong with you as a person? But what about in your marriage? Is your friendship, communication, and intimacy strong?

Can you talk about sex, porn, masturbation with your spouse? Or this is a taboo? I guess, if you can talk about these stuff with your spouse, strong kayo in friendship, communication, and intimacy. But I'm not saying na ito lang ang sukatan ha.

My point is include sexuality in your openness in your marriage to help in avoiding or minimizing these kinds of problems.

He can do self-pleasure if your libido don't match. Kaya lang, self-pleasure is also insulting to some wives. That's why read and educate yourself.

[sarsingkit]

^I agree with openness to sex. My husband and I would talk about masturbation, watching porn, and even some of his guy friends who go hire escort services. I guess we are just really comfortable talking about it. Just recently, my husband asked me if I have experienced threesome and if not, am I open to it. At first parang naasar ako at naisip ko na parang may binabalak ata to. But I just answered him flat out, "basta dalawang lalaki". Sabi nya, "Eeeew." Haha. Eh di tapos ang usapan.

[rarity]

Yes I agree with the openness with sex. Time to talk it over with your hubby is there a dissatisfaction sexually or emotionally. I dont believe in coincidences I think everything happens for a reason and you finding out about your husband's intention is a wake up call to a brewing problem in the relationship in my opinion no one cheats in a happy relationship. Im not saying its your fault or his its just a need that needs to be addressed. Its hard and it hurts but such is a marriage its not a bed of roses at all times most times its about understanding and developing together.

With the advent of porn and its availability to everyone curious din siguro si mister see if there is anyway you can spice up the sex life. Let him know too that infidelity has its consequences its like opening a pandora's box there is no going back and no getting the same relationship you had before he cheated or if he cheats.

Any desire we have always starts internally so what desire does he have and  try to explore and grow as a couple together. We all grow and change with time nothing is constant so instead of fighting this need and curiousity he has be proactive and grow and develop together. That is what a healthy relationship should be not chains and limitations all the time.

[rjaye_2000]

thanks girls for all the inputs you have given. I'll keep them in mind. Me and my husband are currently talking about this and we decided to fix our relationship. I guess this is really a wake up call for both of us and that we should be aware of things we should not ignore.

[Girltalker2]

^ that's good. and I think awareness importante dyan. Alam nya weakness nya at ang will nya umiwas, and eventually talagang umiwas Sya at all cost.

I have a friend na shock din sya her hubby capable of doing this. She gave him an ultimatum. Next time she catches him, she won't hesitate to walk out. So ngayon, ok na sila.

[Ann_2128]

Sometimes they pay for sex for pleasure lang..minsan kasi feeling nila mas macho, guapo or mas bata sila pag nakakakuha sila ng younger prosti. ang mahirap lang dyan, pag na addict sa kanila ang lalaki, binabalik balikan sila. Minsan din naman, kapag may inferiority complex ang lalaki they also resort to paying for sex, kasi mas superior ang feeling nila because he pay for her and he gets what he wants.

[rjaye_2000]

Sometimes they pay for sex for pleasure lang..minsan kasi feeling nila mas macho, guapo or mas bata sila pag nakakakuha sila ng younger prosti. ang mahirap lang dyan, pag na addict sa kanila ang lalaki, binabalik balikan sila. Minsan din naman, kapag may inferiority complex ang lalaki they also resort to paying for sex, kasi mas superior ang feeling nila because he pay for her and he gets what he wants.

Yan din ang iniisip ko sis. Kasi madalas sabihin ng mga ibang tao na mukha akong bata sa age ko and mukha naman siyang matanda for me. 

[naizlabonita]

Happened to me too! We've been together for 8 years and for 5 years he has been going into massage spas with extra service to fulfill his sexual urges. At first he denied but I saw all his Grab history on the places that he goes to and yung spa talaga na may mga extra service yung mga pinupuntahan nya. He also has different accounts online kung saan nagpopost yung mga girls nang katawan nila and rates nila. It's like online shopping really. He admitted din after a long fight halos naglayas na kame ng anak ko't lahat. It's true yung morals and values ng tao. Men have strong sexual urges but yung morals nya how he was brought up if he is weak sa mga ganung temptations eh wala talaga he will do it paulit ulit with different girls. It's sad lang kasi parang na trauma din ako.. I still live with him kasi responsable siya sa amin ng baby ko..pero right now im focusing more on myself. Siguru pag nahuli ko na naman siya that will be the last straw. 

[Ann_2128]

nakaka babae lang ang ganitong issue.. kasi parang di sya satisfied with what the two of you have.. para maghanap pa sya ng ibang babaeng magfu-fulfill nun.. too sad

[undecided2]

same here sis, im living with my husband pa din but for my son na lang sin siguro. Until now i can't forgive and forget. It's been 4months already. Bahala na.

[Ann_2128]

Yun din ang hirap kapag maraming pera yung mga lalaki e, hehe
Sabi nga, "A Woman's loyalty is tested when her man has nothing. A man's loyalty is tested when he has everything."

I've learned that time na kaya pala dapat din talaga yung wife yung nagmamanage ng finances, para malimit yung chance ng husband na gumawa ng such  things.

Well, I hope that was the first time your husband tried that thing, cause more often than not, once tried and experienced doing that, uulit ulitin nya yun

I guess you're right. My husband cheated on me nung times na hindi ko kinukuha ang overtime pay nya and commission..He has all the money to spent with.. hanggang na addict  sya dun sa isang girl at ginawa syang sugar daddy..

[naizlabonita]

same with me, my partner is earning a lot! Ang dame nyang extrang pera and wala siyang savings kasi gastos talaga lahat and almost 6 times a month or more in a month siya nagpupunta sa mga spa with extra service. He can afford to pay girls.

[Girltalker2]

same here sis, im living with my husband pa din but for my son na lang sin siguro. Until now i can't forgive and forget. It's been 4months already. Bahala na.

I think the problem with this set up eh yung anak baka matulad sa dad naman. Para sa bata, then what morals will the kid get from an *sshole dad like that.

^ and ^^ regarding money matters naman, it would be better if you have control over them, para pag nagloko, just take everything for the kids and leave. Kaso hindi eh, some men are evil enough to keep their money with them. Tsaka minsan, kawawa din itsura ng guy if Wife may Hawak, mukhang  under and they look silly (imo lang naman) at work.

ultimately, it's the guy's morals. May pera o wala.

[kvandenhaak]

^Yes, it really boils down to a man's moral compass.

[drinveilside]

a guy would pay for sex because they can and its something they want that they cant get easily from their partner

as a guy sometimes we have the urge to do it everyday and honestly i envy my friends who has a wife like that cause apparently after having 2 or 3 kids some wives tend to think its more than enough yes giving life is a blessing from god but that doesnt stop the urge of a guy.

my 2 cents