Keeping Secrets from your Family

[Arielislove]

Hello everyone. I'm quite new here in Girltalk and I registered because I badly need your opnion / suggestions.

Let me give you a brief background about my family.

I grew up in the province where the eldest is the breadwinner of the family. I am the 3rd daughter btw. Unfortunately, my ate (2nd daughter) is incapable of raising her kids so in adopt na sila ng parents namin. In a way, we treat her kids as one of our siblings.

Yung eldest sister ko ang nagpaaral sa isa kong pamangkin.

She was brought here in Manila because she got pregnant by her boyfriend who is now her husband. They got married just last year and 2 na yung anak nila.

I don't know what's wrong with my niece pero she was able to get pregnant with her 2nd baby nang hindi namin alam. Nalaman nalang namin during the day of the baptism. Grabe no... But that was another story.

My problem now is, matagal na akong nag s suspetsa na may ibang anak siya aside from the 2 boys na anak niya sa asawa niya. She's just 24.

I asked each helper ng sister ko and mas grabe pa ang nalaman ko. Hindi lang isa ang naging anak niya. Dalawa pa pala. The 2nd child is now 5 years old and friend daw niya ang nag aalaga. The 3rd child is 3 years old and dating helper ng sister ko ang nag aalaga. For some reason, sa 3 pregnancies niya, never namin napansin. I don't live with my sister, pero siya doon nakatira yun ang nagpapaaral sa kanya.

Now, I don't know If I should tell my sister about this. I am afraid na baka malaman ng husband niya and ano pa ang gawin sa kanya. Or baka nga mag suicide nalang dahil sa sobrang sakit ng ginawa nya. I am so disappointed of her. How can a mother leave her children? How can a wife cheat to her husband? To think na she doesn't have work and lahat ng pera na ginagastos niya, including the money na binibigay niya sa nag aalaga ng mga anak niya e galing a husband niya.

Do I have the right to tell the truth? At least to my sister?

Thank you so much and I am very sorry kung napahaba yung sulat ko.

[lovemeagain30]

Tell your sister. She has the right to know. Regarding your niece, she's already an adult! let her take responsibilities of her actions. mag aanak at mag aanak pa yan hanggat hindi yan natututo. Tell your sibling not to be an enabler. kultura natin yan bilang pilipino ang sumalo ng problema ng iba, thinking we are helping them. only  in the end, nalulugmok sila lalo sa problema.

[kaythrielle]

Hi TS i have a few questions for clarification lang.

Tapos na ba mag-aral pamangkin mo? Nakatira pa rin ba yung pamangkin mo sa sister mo kahit married na?

Bakit ko tinatanong? Kasi my take on this naman, kung tapos na mag-aral ang pamangkin mo, may asawa na sya at hindi na responsibilidad ng sister mo, what's the point?
sabagay pwede mo naman sabihin sa sister mo.

Pero ano pa bang magagawa nyo tapos na lahat? Nagkaanak na sya and dinistribute na sa ibang tao.
What's your purpose in doing it? Kukunin at aalagaan nyo ba yung mga bata? Sasabihan nyo yung pamangkin nyo na kunin mga anak nya?

anyway, ang point ko lang sis, if may gusto kang gawin, isipin mo din ano yung gusto mong mangyari, aside from judging her,  bakit mo gagawin. Anong mangayayari after?
Kasi alam naman natin mali ginawa nya, dapat she took responsibility sa actions nya, pero hindi. Mali ginawa nya. Will you be able to force her to undo her actions?
May maipo-provide ba kayong solution or magandang change sa current situation?
Kung wala naman, for me lang naman, better hayaan nyo na lang pamangkin nyo. Buhay nya naman yun hindi nga kayo ginulo.

Kung matutulungan nyo sya, edi mabuti. Think of the pros and cons.

Good luck sis

[khaleesiCersei]

Imo, it is not your place to tell the truth. It is not your truth to begin with. Parang panghihimasok na yan, tama si sis what good will it do anyway? Your niece is already an adult let her deal with her own truth and if not karma will make her anyway. Tsaka you are just the aunt, labas ka na sa family ng sister mo at lalo na sa family life ng pamangkin mo.

And your snooping around asking the helpers, it makes you look more of a chismosa than a concerned aunt. How sure are you din na totoo yung mga sinabi sa yo ng mga helpers? Do you have proof? If ever man it is true how sure are you that your sister do not know about all this? Or kahit yung husband? you do not know the whole story. Period. So stop stirring the pot.

So yun sis, stay out of it. It is none of your business, do not make it your own. Baka sa yo pa mag backfire yan. And whatever you feel about your niece and whatever you think she did, just drop it, mabigat dalhin ang load na hindi naman sa yo in the first place. Negative vibes lang yan.

[antithesisofbarbie]

Mabigat yung concerns mo and I am sure somehow eh alam ng sister mo ang nangyayari.
Nasaan ang asawa ng pamangkin mo? She is only 24 and hindi malaki lang age gaps ng mga kids niya. Wala ba ang asawa niya?

Concern ka ba sa mga bata? If you are, are you willing to shoulder the responsibilities to help your niece and her family?

Hindi ko din alam lang trip ng niece mo TS pero I think kahit na adult na siya she needs guidance and help para ma-correct ang mga mali. If you want to meddle with what's happening you should have a solution first how to sort everything out.

[kvandenhaak]

For the sake of the kids, you have to tell your aunt. In this situation, the welfare of the children is the most important concern because they can't protect themselves.

[kiz_me1109]

Maybe you are concerned with the kids since iniwan sila sa ibang tao. And I understand that you are very concerned because hindi naman basta "niece" ang turing mo sa kanya but as a sister already as you mentioned.

There are pros and cons though. Nakakatakot na malaman ng husband niya yung nangyari. No one ever knows what will happen after and kung ano ang pwede gawin ng husband.

But  I think she still needs your guidance. And since yung eldest sister mo naman ang nagdala sa kanya dito sa Manila and nagpaaral sa kanya, she has every right to know what happened.

In my opinion, kahit na may sarili nang family ang niece mo, pero sa tingin mo e hindi parin niya alam what's right ot wrong, your guidance will really help.

No one knows din kasi what kind of closeness you have with the rest of your family members for everyone to understand why you are really concerned.

Siguro, pag isipan mo muna yung mga pwedeng mangyari. Before you make the next move.

Good luck po.