I failed as a mother :(

[kaiz]

Just like any other day, as early as 7am today, I felt like I failed again as a mother.
I have 2 kids, 8 and 5 years old. I also have a nephew with me whose 13 years old. My eldest child has adhd. We have 1 helper.
Before my kids went to school, napagalitan ko pa my son kasi he did not brush his teeth properly. After scolding him (ilang beses na kasi ginawa), i felt guilty so after brushing his teeth again I just hugged my son. Then while I was checking my daughter's bag (mahilig kasi magdala make ups in school), dumating na sundo for school nila and they hurriedly went outside na. I kissed them goodbye from the inside of the house and I was kampante na since manang (our helper) was there in the gate already. Nung sumunod ako for last "buh bye" nakita ko kids nasa gate na tumatakbo kasi umaambon pala. Malayo kasi house mismo namin to the gate pa. And gusto ko na lang maiyak, na ambunan na naman kids hindi ko man lang na instruct manang na magdala ng payong. Akala ko automatic nya na maiisip yun.
Now Im here in my room and naiisip ko my failures. My son went to school today na napagalitan ko, then na ambunan pa sila na kung pwede naman hindi kung ako mismo naghatid sa gate. These little things add up. Im praying na later walang working lunch meeting sa office so Ill be the one to fetch the kids from school.
I am a solo parent by the way. On going pa annulment with the father of my kids.
Feeling ko kulang time ko for my kids. Gusto ko mag file leave for 1 month but sayang din leave credits na magagamit ko.
I guess their father's right. I am no good as a mother.

[mysterioza_me]

^Ikaw  naman sis ambon lang yun no biggie, i bet malalakas resistensya ng mga anak mo kaya di sila magkakasakit. Paminsan-minsan kailangan din nila maambunan, maulanan and even madumihan. Naintindihan ka na rin ng son mo for sure, alam niya na kung bakit siya nagkamali and ni-hug mo na siya kaya alam niya na di ka naman galit sa kanya. Magfile ka ng leave even for a week and sked a vacation with kids ok na yun para makabawi kahit papaano. Cheer up na 😊.

[amethyst028]

@TS sis why are are you beating yourself up? wala naman sukatan ng pagiging great mom. we all have our own way of raising our kids. depende rin sa needs ng bata at tayong nanay lang ang nakaka alam kung anong mabuti for our kids based on our set of values and morals.

sorry to say this but don't be such a drama queen. let go of the small stuff. i will not tell you how to raise your kids but i can say na pag malilit na bagay na hindi naman nila ikakamatay let it go.

my mom as a lola picks on my son even for the tiniest things kaya son ko malayo ang loob sa lola niya pati ganyan mga ambon etc kahit maliliit na bagay napapansin. i'm also a single mom but i try to keep a good balance in raising my child. wala akong yaya kaya hands on ako so lahat ng pwede ko gawin for him i do it and yung kaya niya naman gawin for himself i let him do it to teach him how to be responsible.

please be positive, don't be so critical of yourself and say you're a failure. instead say you are trying your best. every day wake up with a good attitude kahit may pinag da-daanan ka. kids will respond more to positive reinforcements than criticisms.

[Shadow Angel]

Siguro hindi lang iti case na may nangyari na napagalitan or feel mo nagpabaya ka sa kids mo kaya you feel na hindi ka mabuting ina. Sabi ng ex mo hindi ka mabuting ina so pinapaniwalaan mo sinabi nya sayo? Dahil mga ganyan bagay na nangyari between you and your kids ganyan agad effect sayo. Ambon no worries. Ewan ko sa pinas lang uso mga ambon na ganyan. Pag weekend may time ka ba sa kanila? Quality time? Hanggang maari labas ka with kids kahit kain lang or something na pede silang mag enjoy. How about assignment na tutulongan mo ba sila? Balance your time kung feeling mo napapabayaan mo sila.

[RoadrunnerXCX]

shake up sis...ako din kaya may mga ganyang emo minsan as a mother.... we all want to be good at what we are doing as a mom gusto nga natin perfect mom tayo pero that is not attainable. parenting is a hit and miss thing  and a continuous process of learning.

[hisana]

Bakit naman sinabi ni father na you're no good as a mother? Dahil lang ba sa minor incidents na ganito?

Though yes, little things do add up and can lead to stress talaga. But you don't sound like a bad mother at all from your post, so huwag mo muna sabihin yan. Kung lang naging salot sa lipunan yung anak mo dahil hindi napalaki ng mabuti or na-neglect sya or abused or something along those lines, then yes, you failed.

[hushush]

Sis, anong karapatan ng ex-husband mo to say na you're not a good mom to your kids? Kung sakin yan sasagutin ko sya ng ganito: "o sige bigyan mo ng ganitong sustento ang mga bata monthly (same as your salary + therapies/meds for your eldest child) tapos magreresign ako sa work at mag-fulltime mom ako"

[swtgrl_bee]

Sis kaiz hug.  Don't be too hard on yourself, yung mga small things try to let it go and move forward. If your kids didn't get sick. Okay lang yun, who knows ang saya pa nila di'ba papunta sa gate kahit umaambon. 

And the fact na nasa kalinga mo ang kids mo, I'll bet your'e a good mother. Smile na sis.

[simang]

Sis kaiz I feel you. Pa-hug nga ako. Hihi. I'm not in the position to give advise kasi I myself am feeling the same most times, and I've only been a mom for 9 months. I have doubted myself a lot of times. But I do hope you feel better. Laging sinasabi ng husband ko sa akin, I may feel inadequate sometimes, but for our daughter, I'm a hero. Kaya never doubt yourself as a mom kasi your kids, they trust and love you more than you know.

[ficklemind]

Sis, nasabi na nila lahat, don't be too hard on yourself.
Epekto ata to ng on going annulment mo with your husband? dahil sinabihan ka niya ng You're not a good mother eh feeling mo bawat kilos may mali, kulang.
I know it's not that easy to be a solo parent and  deal with annulment kaso baka kung ano2x pa sabihin ng husband mo na lalong ika-down mo.

[shinies]

Naku sis, normal na umaga ko yan nung bata ako hahaha!

Mukhang down ka lang masyado dahil sa mga nangyayari sa buhay niyo.. Wag mo dibdibin yung maliliit na bagay at tandaan mo na lilipas din yan.
Pagigihan mo din ang trabaho kasi kung ganyan ugali ng ex mo, kailangan mo ng financial stability.

Ang failure as a parent eh kung naging menace to society mga anak mo o di kaya hindi sila malusog. Di naman yata yun..

[andy2014]

No you didn't. you had just a bad moment - like any mothers

[kaiz]

Thank you po sa replies nyo. Maybe Im being too hard lang sa self ko talaga. Minsan naiisip ko na magpa counsellig or psychologist.

As for the ex husband, naka block na numbers nya kasi alam ko naman im trying my best pero di po ba minsan pag napapagod tayo, nag sisink in yung mga bad words na nasasabi ng iba. Baka nga not totally healed pa ako. Verbally abusive my ex and nagkalakas loob lang ako talaga ako after ko pinag isipan lagat ng sinabi ni Ms Rose Yenko. Si sis aquacharly nagbigay number and office ni Ms Rose.

[simang]

^sis if you feel the need to see a professional, go do it sis. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression when my daughter was 7 months old and nakatulong ng malaki na nag consult ako sa doctor. No matter how much people say kasi na think positive, etc hindi talaga sya uubra if there's a physiologic reason behind it.

[kirsten10]

mahirap talaga yun situation mo sis. nakakaguilty talaga un napapagalitan mo un anak mo, specially pag may special needs (my son has ASD). minsan nakakaubos talaga ng pasensya tapos mapapagalitan mo, tapos maiisip mo we should know better hindi dapat nakagalitan. kaso nangyari na. kaya babawian na lang din, more hugs and kisses and lambing.
madalas ko din masulat yan sa journal ko, I'm not good enough for my kids as a mother kase di ko sila naasikaso. di ko nga madala sa dentist and well baby check up on time. kulang pa nga sa vaccine un second child. iniisip ko na lang, e pano nga full time working mom, main breadwinner. pati role ng tatay ginagawa ko, pano ko pa gawin in full un pagka mommy?
lumilipas lang un araw, pag naman tinignan ko un mga bata at ok naman sila, masigla, ok na din ako.
baka dala lang ng ongoing annulment, sana lumipas din. you're doing a great job, don't worry.

[xtine]

Sis, I think you are suffering from a depression coz you  are very sensitive of little things. 

You are a good mother, don't let the little things affect you.  I wish you can move on from any pain that you have, if you're suffering from any.  I wish you can avoid too much worrying and thinking so that it won't affect your daily life.

Good luck sis.  Feel better now.

[kaythrielle]

http://www.inspiremore.com/to-the-mom-who-feels-like-she-cant-function-anymore/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=LLIL&utm_campaign=partner

** hugs ** i stumbled upon this article and it's really comforting and hopefully encouraging to know that you are not alone sis..a lot of moms also feel that at one point....but just like what they said, don't sweat the small stuff and don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself a beak, have a kitkat. Maganda yang article.

[hael2011]

Sis give yourself some slack! You are going through a lot. Dont sweat the little stuff. The fact that you can support your kids alone is one big achievement that I am sure a lot of women cant handle.

Cheer up! I am sure your kids love you so so much!

[ghye]

TS:  I feel you.  I am a mom of two boy, 4 yrs old and 10 mos old.  No househelp, working mother.  My husband comes home every other week and just for a day.  My eldest is having occupational therapy.  I personally bring him to his OT and wait for him. I feel guilty most of the time when I had to scold him for not following instructions or for not doing what he's supposed to do.  After the scolding, I realized that he's special and he can't understand.  It's me who needs to understand him.  I have to balance my time with him and the baby plus household chores and working at the office.  But it never came to my mind that I am a failure for I know I'm doing what I think is best for my children and family.  I always put into my mind that I have to do everything for my children.  It is my obligation to look after them.  I am still grateful that they understand my situation at work so I have some special treatments also.

[kvandenhaak]

One thing I learned throughout my being a mom is to not sweat the small stuff. Napagalitan ang anak mo, he will get over it. I am sure pagdating nya sa school nakalimutan na nya yun. Ambon lang naman, it's not like they are soaking wet. Nagkasakit ba after? Helicopter parenting is not good either. They need to learn how to deal with little things as early as possible. Of course, you need to guide them. You are too hard on yourself. They will live!