Author Topic: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?  (Read 2185 times)


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Hello girls. This post is gonna be a long one. Because recently I realized something.

I've always been a girl with an obsession for love. (Not in a bad way) Since I was a little girl I wanted to find someone to spend my life with. In a way I call it an obsession, because I stressed to much about it and wanted it so bad. Now, I'm 20 years old, and I'm still kinda obsessing about it. Because I really want to find someone, but the truth is that my pickiness prevents me. I don't want to find just someone, it has to be real. I have tried to put myself out there. Trying online dating, going to parties. I have met many guys and gotten to know them and all. But it all felt wrong. Recently I have realized, that every guy I have met, have been pretty cool. But just as someone is telling me that they like me, or giving me compliments I creep out. I get scared, and I kinda feel disgusted by them. And I know that is totally wrong. But the truth is that I don't love myself, and I am afraid that if I get close to anyone, they will see the things that I hate about myself. I really thought I had a good confidence, but as soon as a guy is getting close, I freak out. And it is so annoying, because the only person who prevents me from being in a relationship is me, and I didn't realize this before now.

The question is.. How can I learn to love myself, because I really want someone in my life... :-[


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Re: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2017, 04:39:02 am »
^tingin ko sis insecurities lang yan.lahat naman tayo mayron nun.hindi tayo perfect.learn to share yourself to someone na tingin mo will influence yourself to become a better person...dont be afraid to be in a relationship..pero bata ka pa naman.pag nag-29 ka na magkakalakas ka din ng loob na makipagboypren kasi alam mong tumatanda ka na.. :)


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Re: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?
« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2017, 11:32:10 am »
Hi. Can you hear my thoughts too? I really need to share my story :( Wala akong ibang masabihan, I'm depressed because of this


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Re: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2017, 01:47:27 pm »
Just stop being afraid i guess, insecurities will always be there que may partner ka o wala. You will always find something wrong with yourself but if you're not too afraid to try something or get hurt or make learn to somehow outgrow those insecurities kasi you learn with experience eh. Experience make you stronger kumbaga. Siguro ang nangyayari is, before you get close to someone, pinangungunahan mo na kagad ng isip mo kaya ganyan nagiging reaction mo pagdating sa guys. So maybe you should stop overthinking things and learn to enjoy the moment or just stay in the present. Wag masyadong advanced ang imagination hehe. Minsan yun lang ang nagpapagulo eh. So yun sis just relax, stay in the present and enjoy, let things run its course.


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Re: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2017, 01:19:48 am »
I think you are still young to feel that desperate. Enjoy your youth. If you are not confident yet to go out with boys, don't force yourself.  Besides, you have all the right to be picky. But then don't be too picky. Don't settle either. Merong delicate balance. Life is not all about relationship and life can be meaningful even if you are single. Relax lang, one day he will come. I am in my mid 40's and I am not losing hope. So dapat hindi ka rin!
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" ---Matthew 6:34


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Re: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2017, 12:28:49 pm »
you cant give something to someone that you dont have.

How can you love someone if you cant even love yourself. Siguro, it's not that you dont love yourself, hindi ka lang siguro confident sa sarili mo. Dont be too hard on yourself kasi 20 ka palang. Ok lang na hindi mo pa alam kung ano gusto mo, and most likely, hindi mo pa din ganon kakilala sarili mo. Hahaha, weird no? Ikaw mismo, hindi mo kilala sarili mo. But it happens. Yung akala mo na ganong klaseng tao ka pala, it will change. magbabago pa yan with experience. in time you'll be stronger, wiser and more mature. boys will come and go. and kung hindi ka pa naman talaga ready to be in a relationship, wag mo pilitin. dont be in a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. ganyan din ako noon, super hopeless romantic ako. but now, i know love comes from within. Take care of yourself, be good to yourself, forgive yourself. If you already know your value, love will find you. and it will come from someone who knows how to give you what you deserve. until then, focus on making yourself better. nurture yourself from within instead of looking for other people to do it for you :)
Happiness is a choice.


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Re: Do you have to love yourself first, to receive love from another person?
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2017, 08:33:54 am »
Just wait. Build your self confidence. May darating na guy na magpapabago sa perception mo. :)


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This is the question I have been wondering myself for a looonnggg time.

I have friends who do not even love themselves and yet have been in relationships one after another.

And it hit me.

No, you do not have to love yourself to be loved by another. However, the quality of love you give yourself will reflect to a significant extent the quality of love you receive from another.


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^I believe in this sis! I've been in a relationship with a narcissist. As in binaba ko talaga sarili ko para lang sa kanya dahil sobrang minahal ko sya. But then when he chose his ex gf, dun ko narealize na sobrang baba ng self-esteem ko. Halos nagmakaawa na ko na ako na lang piliin nya, he even cursed me sa phone and binababaan nya ko and yet, tatawag pa din ako. Sabi nga nila, you accept the kind of love you think you deserve. I admire you for being picky and nagmadali lang ako na magka bf na hindi ko pa talaga kilala, and ang daming red flags pero di ko pinansin. Walang masamang maghintay. Instead, idivert mo yung singleness mo sa mas mahahalagang bagay like growing your bank account, grow your relationship with your family and with God. Just please, don't ever settle for someone. Masakit sa ulo, sa bulsa at sa puso.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2017, 06:32:00 pm by mama squeak! »


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Not always, and more often than not, we don't love ourselves fully. But that's the beauty of incomplete self-love: we look for someone who can complement our needs, and vice-versa.

What's more important is self-respect. You should never compromise your self-respect for anyone, because people who have poor self-respect also tend to disrespect others, and allow themselves to be disrespected.

super bratinella

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Love yourself not because you want to receive love from another person.  For me your question is very selfish, you just want to love yourself just because you want to receive love, why not turn it the other way around, love yourself enough to love someone else, that you have so much love for yourself that you want to give and you want other people to receive it. 

Change your point of view in life make it more positive and do not think of just always receiving because love eventually when you are in a relationship is about giving and giving.. For me that is when you are ready to love, if you give and give and you do not expect anything in return.
I am nobody.

Nobody is PERFECT.

Therefore, I am PERFECT!.


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