Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 9)

[sweet21]

Bakit ang mga lalaki sa una sobrang ma asikaso, nag rereklamo kapag hindi mo pinapansin. Sobrang clingy sa umpisa, after a while bigla magbabago. Nature ba talaga ng mga lalaki ang ma bore, kahit sa mga mag asawa madalas ko to naririnig. Pag sawa na naghahanap na ng iba.

[TomHansen]

^ i believe natural lang na stage yan sa isang relationship mapababae or lalake. Sa umpisa ang dami niyo kasing gustong gawin together, excited sa isat-isa pero pagtagal once macheck off niyo mga yun magiging normal na kayo, comfortable stage. Pwede ring nagbago siya kasi nga hindi pinapansin kapag naglalambing or cold yung gf sa ganoong love language kaya tinigil niya.

Ang hindi natural e maghanap ng iba kapag nagsawa, dahilan lang yun kapag nahuli na lol.. either fix the relationship or breakup.

[simang]

^Agree bro Tom. It's human nature na magsawa, or maging complacent, not necessarily a guy thing. Even girls naman nagbabago rin sa course ng relationship, sa una very understanding at hindi madada, pero eventually konting kibot ng partner pinagsisimulan ng away. That's where you have to realize that relationships are not based on feelings. Being with someone and loving that person is a conscious decision you make everyday.

[jtansanco]

Bakit ang mga lalaki sa una sobrang ma asikaso, nag rereklamo kapag hindi mo pinapansin. Sobrang clingy sa umpisa, after a while bigla magbabago. Nature ba talaga ng mga lalaki ang ma bore, kahit sa mga mag asawa madalas ko to naririnig. Pag sawa na naghahanap na ng iba.

During the chase period, we'll do everything we can to get your attention since we want to get to know you, pursue you, and/or court you. We want to be the only guy in your life. This is where we build the spark and see if there's chemistry between us. But as time passes by, we also need YOU to do your part. Surprise us from time-to-time. Give us subtle compliments when we least expect it. It's a give-and-take relationship. If you only rely on us to do all of these, then some of us will get bored because we'll feel like it's a one-way relationship. We'll continue to give you the affection you're looking for as long as you do the same to us. 

[fibia]

do u think this relationship has run its course and time to end?

my bf used to be clingy and obsessive, however, he is also a pleaser and wants to do things together with me. weve been together for almost 2 years.

we quarrel a lot for the simplest of things mainly bec of miscommunication, lack of communication.

lately theres a shift, after my birthday. he is now distant, not texting me or messaging me  since last week, and not even initiating any dates or sex. 

he is now dismissive when we discuss things, or when we argue bec he committed to do this with me then bail out last minute (he's done this many manytimes). he seems indifferent, a start contrast from how he is for the entirety of our relationship.

[three8one]

^ ask your partner na magsabi na lang ng totoong nararamdaman nya, hindi yung ganyang ginagawa nya yung mga bagay na ayaw mo, maybe to pissed you at sayo mag mula ang possible breakup. iwas guilt sa part nya kung sakaling ikaw ang unang aayaw o bibitaw kahit base sa kwento mo siya naman ang may kasalanan.

sana magka ayos pa din kayo. pag usapan nyo na lang ng masinsinan yun problema at mag isip ng solusyon para sa problema.

[fibia]

^i dont want to initiate the convo., but today i asked a sign from God if he is the right one for me, and in a few minutes meron agad sign: after going with him to church, sinamahan ko sya.   then after church may pupuntahan kami dapat then  he bailed out suddenly, it will only take 1hr of his time, suddenly he is too busy (sideline job nya-work from home na proj).  so ako gumawa ako ng bagay para sa kanya pero sya ayaw nya gumawa ng bagay para sakin.

[three8one]

^ yun na ba yung sign? yun na ba yung ginawa mo para sa inyo? eh before ka pa ata humingi ng sign naka plano na yung lakad nyo eh.. talk to him ma'am doon lang kayo magkakaliwanagan. prayer without action is dead.

straight na tanong na din po. ano po ba gusto nyo mangyari, magkahiwalay kayo o mag kaayos kayo? kung gusto nyo magkahiwalay na kayo, we will give advice para magkahiwalay na kayo. pero kung gusto nyo mag kaayos kayo doon tayo sa mga payo na magkakaayos kayo. mahirap kasi kung walang patutunguhan yung usapan. hehe! 

[simang]

@fibia

Bro three8one is correct, the only *healthy* way to deal with your situation is to talk to him about it. In my case, my husband is open with his feelings but I realise that he becomes more comfortable talking to me about it when I probe on how he feels and not when I ask him why he's doing this or that. Example, instead of asking your bf why is he suddenly bailing out, or why does he seem distant, open the conversation by asking him how he is. Ganun lang. Kumustahin mo lang so he doesn't feel like he's being attacked.

But if you don't want to initiate the conversation and would just want to rely on some sign to decide on how to go about your relationship, then it's your choice. That's the easier way I guess.

[jtansanco]

do u think this relationship has run its course and time to end?

my bf used to be clingy and obsessive, however, he is also a pleaser and wants to do things together with me. weve been together for almost 2 years.

we quarrel a lot for the simplest of things mainly bec of miscommunication, lack of communication.

lately theres a shift, after my birthday. he is now distant, not texting me or messaging me  since last week, and not even initiating any dates or sex. 

he is now dismissive when we discuss things, or when we argue bec he committed to do this with me then bail out last minute (he's done this many manytimes). he seems indifferent, a start contrast from how he is for the entirety of our relationship.

Let him go. IF he wants you, he'll strive to get you back. It's not worth it being with someone who doesn't care about you.

[TomHansen]

@fibia, i'm sorry pero I think hindi ka na niya ganun kamahal. Maybe he was just waiting na matapos yung bday mo siya maging cold sa iyo pero ang totoo matagal na niyang gustong dumistansya. Maybe siya yung takot type na bf na instead na makipagbreak sa babae dadahan dahanin niya na lang hanggang yung babae na maginitiate ng convo at breakup. Sideline job is a weak excuse lalo kung 1hr lang naman ang itatagal ng lakad niyo sana. Kausapin mo na lang, tanungin mo kung gusto niya pa ba or hindi na, di na mahalaga kung anong reasons. Alalahanin mo kung gaano siya kacapable dati nung bago kayo, yun ang love na kaya niyang ibigay and type of love you deserve hanggang ngayon, it's supposed to be easy dahil masaya siya kapag ginagawa niya yun.

Pwede ring hindi pa siya sure dun sa bagong prospect niya kaya tinatabi ka lang niya reserba just in case hindi sila magwork or di siya sagutin.

[fibia]

Thank you everyone for your advise.

[fibia]

@fibia, i'm sorry pero I think hindi ka na niya ganun kamahal. Maybe he was just waiting na matapos yung bday mo siya maging cold sa iyo pero ang totoo matagal na niyang gustong dumistansya. Maybe siya yung takot type na bf na instead na makipagbreak sa babae dadahan dahanin niya na lang hanggang yung babae na maginitiate ng convo at breakup. Sideline job is a weak excuse lalo kung 1hr lang naman ang itatagal ng lakad niyo sana. Kausapin mo na lang, tanungin mo kung gusto niya pa ba or hindi na, di na mahalaga kung anong reasons. Alalahanin mo kung gaano siya kacapable dati nung bago kayo, yun ang love na kaya niyang ibigay and type of love you deserve hanggang ngayon, it's supposed to be easy dahil masaya siya kapag ginagawa niya yun.

Pwede ring hindi pa siya sure dun sa bagong prospect niya kaya tinatabi ka lang niya reserba just in case hindi sila magwork or di siya sagutin.

nakakalungkot but yan din ang naiiisip ko. in reality kaya ayoko makipagusap kasi natatakot ako sa sagot nya, at may pride din ako, na ayaw kong marinig na "ayaw" na nya. wrong, pero naduduwag talaga ako. kasi madami din akong kasalanan sa kanya pero lagi syang napaka-patient at bumabalik sakin. pero ngayon parang "cold" na sya.

[applexkiss]

Your opinion about "almost relationship"?

[three8one]

^ pwedeng paniwalaan pero huwag aasahan...

[kvandenhaak]

It only means it wasn't a relationship so don't sweat over it.

[futboler_dati]

para lang yang MU.

[RoadrunnerXCX]

Anong mas malala ang maging paasa o ang maging assumera?

[kvandenhaak]

^Paasa because of the intention.

[Bridgette*]

^^ Maging assumerang palaka ☹️😅