Marriage without Passion

[cosmochick]

 

Can a marriage work without passion?

TIA for your replies.

[airish_2]

Natry nyo na bang mag pa marriage counsel? or nag retreat na kayo lang dalawa?

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Do you love him? The fact na nagiisip ka na to end the marriage is enough reason na to doubt kung dapat pa nga talaga magcontinue, I'm not sure ha, pero based palang sa tone of voice mo, di mo na sya mahal, and the marriage ended before you actually realized it.

I guess tama ang decision nyo to part ways and magisip isip muna, no matter how long it takes. Wag basta basta magdecision, lalo na you are married.

Pero Sis, the last thing you need to think about eh yung iisipin ng ibang tao, napansin ko lang medyo concern ka sa iisipin and sasabihin ng iba, I think focus on yourself muna, reflect and talk and run by it with your closest/trusted friends or family, tapos prepare to talk to your husband, if you are on the same page, kung time na ba talaga to end it.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Haha nice to hear that you are watching Gilmore Girls, on a lighter note. 

Oh, abroad din pala kayo, I get it, minsan pag nasa abroad, yung boredom and homesickness malaking factor din.

Pero you mentioned na you decided to part ways muna? So hiwalay na kayo ngayon?

[glamorosa_09]

-- he says demeaning things
-- when you`re good, you`re good; when you fight, all hell breaks loose.
-- bilisan mo magdecide para annul agad...

Para bang laging nasa extreme yung relationship niyo? Walang middle ground? First, yung pag-aaway nyo, parang nasa opposite end ng spectrum. Then, yung pagdedecide about the marriage, kailangang agad-agad... na parang he`s pressuring you. Di pwedeng pag-isipan niyong dalawang mabuti muna?

Are you financially independent there or you`re dependent on him?

Seems like you`re in an unhealthy relationship. You`ve escaped your previously abusive marriage only to find yourself in another toxic marriage. Just an opinion.

And to add
Do you feel like your relationship is emotionally and mentally draining?

[super bratinella]

Sis for your relationship is rare or hindi ko lang magets na you are not sexually attractive part with your husband, did both of you had pre marital sex before getting married because from the onset of the relationship you can detect na hindi kayo compatible sa bed, in terms of physical or arousal attraction.

Sa mga young couple kasi passion is everything kaya nga nabuo ang kasabihan ng mga matatanda, Hindi kayo mabubusog ng pagibig lang.

Pero pag both adult couple and you can talk anything under the sun then the relationship is healthy kahit walang sexy time ok na!

My advise sis, is do not be selfish, kasi when you asked for an advise your fear is all about yourself, you are scared that no one will love you as much as your husband loves you, kung ano ang iisipin ng ibang tao about you, this is your 2nd marriage and is still good for 3rd marriage. You may also think about him since ikaw naman ang may issue about not sexually attractive about your husband. Sa lalaki respect is everything you have to respect their pride because they are really weak inside and strong physically.  So if you hurt his pride without you knowing and intentionally doing it, then there is a possibility na he is NO LONGER  the same man that you were married, ibang tao na siya ngayon kaya kayo nag aaway ng malala.

If wala naman talaga naging kasalanan ang hubby mo sa iyo at ikaw talaga may issue about bed compatibility then my advise is to let him go and let him be loved by someone else at ganun na rin sayo sis!

[shinies]

Ginawa mo na ba talaga ang lahat para sa second marriage mo?
Role play, nood porn together, fetish etc? Turo kay mister ano yung sweet spots mo?
Kung nung di pa kayo kasal, di naman intense sex life niyo, bakit isyu na siya ngayon?
Sinabi mo ba kay mister mga sex needs mo?

Walang perpektong partner. Totoo important sex sa magasawa. Pero yung compatibility kadalasan bago ikasal inaalam. Pwera na lang kung nagbago ka na?

Kung nagawa mo na ang lahat at nabigay mo na ang lahat mo tapos wala pa din, tama si sis, let him go.

[NeilRudecat]

Hi cosmochick,

Ang concern mo ay concern ng marami sa atin.  Worldwide pa nga ito actually.

Many women could not experience the full pleasure of sex because a lot of men are not sufficiently informed about the female sexual anatomy and human sexuality in general.

Sa studies ng experts, mas nakaka-reach ng orgasm ang babae through masturbation.

If men would only love truly...then that love will compel them to be a better lover.   Kung mad-discover lang sana ng mga lalaki na kapag na-stimulate at na arouse mo ang babae...mas magiging intense ang sex.  Iba ang level.  Walang kapaguran.  You can go beyond the boundaries of the physical pleasures of sex and realize that its a full body, mind, spiritual experience!

We (men like myself) need to get the right information.  Hindi reliable ang mga nasa sex videos, at madalas, pati na rin ang mga magazine articles.  Pero kahit yata ang foundations ng knowledge natin about female sexuality eh kailangan pag-aralan ng mabuti.

To make the long story short...dapat tandaan ng mga lalaki na ang mga babae ay mas matagal ma-turn-on at kailangan na ma-set muna ang mood and the most important of all...dapat bigyan ng full attention ang pag stimulate ng Clitoris (including the G-Spot and other hidden parts) kesa sa pag-penetrate sa Vagina.

Maraming resources na biased at para lang sa pleasure ng mga lalaki...kasama rito ang mga studies ni Freud.

SIGMUND FREUD made a name for himself demonizing the clitoris and formulating a truly cockamamie view of women's sexuality. Freud promulgated the idea that the clitoris was an immature source of sexual pleasure, a mere launching pad for the more "mature" vaginal orgasm, which, of course, could only be produced via genital intercourse.  What's particularly insidious is that at the time of his postulating Freud had a rather clear understanding of the anatomical role of the clitoris and chose instead to promote his personal ideas about female sexuality over current scientific knowledge. In short, he abused the bully pulpit. 

Freud demoted the clitoris and promoted the vagina, characterizing clitoral orgasms as "infantile." According to Freud, adult women needed to get past their need for clitoral orgasms and develop a desire for penetration; after all, isn't that what penises do?  Penetrate? Female masturbation was criticized as creating clitoral dependency; oral sex was verboten. In Freud's view, there were no two ways about it: if a woman couldn't be satisfied by penetrative sex, something must be wrong with her. As Dr. Thomas Lowry commented in his essay "The Cultural Psychology of the Clitoris," "The idea sprang into Freud's head in 1910 without a visible shred of experimental evidence and it has probably caused more unnecessary worry than any other single psychological notion."

Source: She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman by Dr. Ian Kerner

[cosmochick]

Thanks to all who took their time to give their advise.

I decided to make this work and be with my husband for better or worse.

[aquacharly]

Can a marriage work without passion?


TIA for your replies.

Yes.  For reasons known only to them, spouses do stay together with no passion.   Maybe, passion for their reason:  money, security, identity, power? 
Sex isn't the only Passion.  There's Passion for money, power, etc etc..  Different strokes for different folks ika nga; , at walang basagan ng trip sabi.

^. Good, you arrived at a decision.  Indecisiveness is the worst state to be in.
Spend time to assess your needs & wants, get to know yourself better. Work on strengthening your Strengths & working on your weaknesses.  Use Time wisely to advance yourself.  So that you don't have to take "worse" than you can take.  And as I always say:  Do not make Life-changing decisions based on emotions.