Advice?

[shiny]

Hi,

medyo naiilang akong magtanong. 
We're on a church and this guy has asked an elder who is very much respected sa church to be introduced to me 2 years ago.   Nagkakwentuhan kami ng elder (nun) pero di na nga umabot na maintroduce kami.  hint ko lang na nag ask yung guy to be introduced kasi he would make his way to see if tapos na kami mag usap and the nun wanted me to go to the place where he's waiting (and another friend).  Before he left, he was looking kung tapos na kami mag usap.  I wanted to go dun sa place pero kasi, nahihiya ako.

He asked another elder to be introduced to me, na ayaw naman ng elder.  I don't know why. I just smiled at him...

Then, lately, several months has passed, say, 3 years, palaging tinginan lang kami until such time, na nahuli nya ko nakatingin, and I just made iwas so obvious...  but this year, he was making a move to come closer to me, kaya lang nahihiya ako dahil he's with someone I know.  And then, the elder who doesn't want both of us to be introduced (close to him), just kept on looking at me, if I will smile at him.  I wanted to, but she's looking.  then he couldn't look at me when I get near kasi andun yung elder. 

Medyo corny na ba?  Hope guys and girls can give me thoughts.  wala kasi akong mapagsabihan pero, I have grown to really like him.  sa umpisa he's nothing, pero now, I have deep feelings for him already.  ang nangyayari kasi, kapag may gagawin syang move, di ko alam gagawin ko, parang ang dating, snob ko sya -- di ko pinapansin... grabe, napakamahiyain ko sa kanya lang.  kapag ako naman may gagawin, since di ko sya pinansin, sya naman ang deadma,  pero after a week, ganun na naman, may gagawin sya, ako naman mahihiya, tapos ako will try something, sya naman ang di mamamansin.  ganun ang cycle. 

ang labo ano?  para kaming bata pero we're not in teens anymore. kaya nakakahiyang magsabi rito.

[bluebeads]

Hi!  Just to ask, the second elder, bakit niya ayaw kayo ipakilala sa isa't isa? Did you check?

Also, do you guys see each other sa church lang or outside also?

Are you guys friends on facebook or do you sms na ba?

hehe sorry dami tanong.. hirap kasi mag advice pag medyo vague pa 

[kvandenhaak]

Parang high tee hee!! Life is too short. If I were you and I am sure type nya rin ako, I will say hi to him. Sayang ang panahon...lol!

[shiny]

Thanks sa reply ha.

sa church lang kami nagkikita.  ayaw ng elder, I don't know why, pero pinapansin nya naman ako.  Parang ayaw nyang makialam?  I heard her say that one time, when someone was asking her help - ay di ko yan alam, ayokong makialam - that's her statement :-)

di kami fb, parang wala syang fb, o nakatago?  feeling ko, nakikita nya yung akin. pero kasi ang akin, walang personal posts or pictures.  puro like and share lang ng posts ng iba.  so di nya ko kilala talaga, but he sees what I do in church, more or less, alam nya yung what's in my heart.

Sis, di rin kami nagtetext at all

[shiny]

awkward to say hi. ang hirap ano?  nung nagkalapit nga kami, titingin sya, d ako makatingin, then nung ako naman, di sya nakatingin.  parang humihingi kami ng tyempo pero ayaw mangyari? 

[Girltalker2]

Sorry sis pero Medyo blunt lang Ito - how can you have deep feelings for someone na di mo masyado kilala?

I think it is not realistic magkagusto sa isang tao na di mo man lang alam ang ugali. Unless you just made up an image of him and assume what he is like at dun ka na inlove at Hindi talaga sa kanya.

Secondly, Ayaw pa kilala... I've been in a situation where Ayaw ko Rin ipakilala some of my friends sa ibang guy friends kahit both single. Reason is I don't like the guy, babaero lang or something which will just add more trouble sa girl. Kaya huwag nalang.  And you also mentioned this guy is with someone?!

Lastly, if gusto ka talaga nya, Hindi nya ikaw ilalagay sa alanganin. Ikaw pa papalapitin sa kanya? To think wala na kayo sa teens, Ang torpe naman nyan. If he really likes to get to know you, he will make the first move. If alanganin sya, he can always say later eh ikaw naman Lumapit sa kanya eh so he doesn't have anything invested, and can just walk out anytime.

 So conclusion ko lang, why focus on this person eh una, walang personality, inabot kayo ng mga taong at tinginan lang ng tingin an? Second, doubtful Ang background (w someone and di boto sa kanya Yung elderly). Eh ang dami naman ibang lalaki, bakit dyan ka pa mag aksaya ng panahon kakaisip eh wala naman dapat isipin.

[khaleesiCersei]

I'd have to agree with sis girltalker2. Infatuated ka lang sa idea mo sis. Tsaka sabi mo nga hindi na kayo teenager, mano ba namang kausapin mo siya di ba? Small talk lang tipong ganda ng homily ni father no? mga ganon ek ek hehe. Tsaka imo he's just not that in to you sis katulad ng iniisip mo. Kasi kung talagang gusto ka niya siya mismo gagawa ng move to get to know you. Tama si sis parang wala man lang personality yung guy haha tanda tanda na kelangan pa ba ng permiso ng iba para makipag kilala at makipag usap? Hehe..

[bluebeads]

Hi sis shiny!

So you guys don't talk pala talaga? Buti I asked.

Hmmm... oo nga, they have a point sis.. how did you develop deep feelings for the person na you don't get to hang out with, talk to, or even chat with?  Although those are your feelings and we don't have the right to question, maybe you should revisit kung bakit mo na feel yan hehe =)

On a side note though, if he doesn't have the balls to approach you, I think he doesn't like you enough.  Nonetheless,  maybe if you like him that much,  I'd say go and take the risk para wala kang what if's.  Although I must tell you,  if you make the first move, be ready to make a series of first moves.  Not unless he is the type na pag na crack mo, e dere derecho na mag effort.

I'd say if may activity sa church na magka group kayo or something, try mo na  mag reach out.  Don't be shy kasi there is a way naman of being friendly without appearing to be too fast forward or slutty hehe.. Maging nice and approachable ka lang around him, baka naman intimidated rin siya di ba?   

Wala ba kayong common or mutual friend na pwede mag bigay ng chika sayo? hahaha baka naman kaya rin torpe e may gf na? or bf?

[hushush]

anghirap ng problema mo sis.sa totoo lang nasa iyo ang susi nyan eh.kasi kung kami lang yun magsasabi e syempre tapos na agad ang prob mo..

So ngayon sis ang gusto mo lang e to break barrier tama ba? Kasi parang tinginan lang kayo ng tinginan.pakiramdaman to the max..ang tanong e mutual kaya yun feeling?pano kung committed na pala yun guy at assuming ka lang?

Para malaman mo sis, kung ako lang yun nasa situation mo ha.tutal di ka na bata..mano bang magremark ka ng casual like "hay may bagyo na naman!" Or anything na sa tingin mo ay makakarelate sya.halimbawa may mahulog na object sa churh sabihin mo "ay kabayo!nahulog!nakakagulat!" Sounds stupid or awkward pero siguro naman kahit simple smile lang magrereact yun..kung hindi e either autistic yun or snob..napanuod mo ba yung movie na "the accountant"..just a thought..

[shiny]

Sobrang salamat sa inyong lahat.  Mahirap paniwalaan, pero, sa church mismo nangyari , biglang deep na lang yung feelings ko sa kanya.  then dun na nag start to like him. 

Lahat ng lalaking nagkagusto sa akin, hirap lumapit.  nalalaman ko na lang from others, minsan, may nagpapadala ng sulat, [textspeak!], etc.  Kaya di ako nagtataka ganito rin sya.  The thing is, unlike the others, I like him, kaya sobrang naiilang ako sa kanya.  I can say hi and smile to everyone, pero pag siya...nahihiya ako :-)

Nung una, medyo nagngingitian na kami until I went a bit away for a while dun nya nalaman kung sino ako.  Kilala ko sya kasi nagshare din sya publicly (si microphone) sino sya, san sya galing.  same with me. Naging awkward lang, nung medyo nalaman nya na kahit pano, may brains ako tapos I do charity work (not usual for a girl, I guess). parang naintimidate (though he's intelligent naman).

Salamat uli sa payo.  may alam na ako sasabihin based sa sinabi nyo sa taas.  As in, nakasmile na ako!   Thank you!

[bluebeads]

Hindi naman weird mag charity work..  I do charity work also and spend my birthdays sa mga foundation. 

Anyway, since you do charity work, magandang conversation starter rin yan.

You can say "Hey, I'm planning to do charity work on (insert date or month),  do you think you guys can join?  I'm building a committee..."   

At least in case maging kayo, maganda yun foundation niyo,  church and organising an outreach di ba? 

Pero nonetheless, important talaga malaman where you stand and if single ang status ni kuya.  Mahirap na. 

[shiny]

Thank you sa advice mo.  Maganda ngang foundation yun.  He has severe love to God.  Many many thanks!   Nabuksan mo isip ko :-)  and brighten up

[amethyst028]

^one thing i learned in life is huwag maging mahiyain. don't be socially awkward. say "hi" if you want to. most guys will not think less of you pag kinausap mo sila. if anything they will be flattered pa nga e.

shy type talaga ako and usually mistaken for a snob. sanay ako na ako yung unang kakausapin. ang ending yung mga hindi ko type ang palaging kumakausap sakin. so i trained myself to be more outgoing and confident. lumawak ang social circle ko and yung mga gusto ko nakakausap ko na. nagiging bf ko kung sinong gusto ko talaga.

be kind, approachable, easy going, , funny, and confident.. pag may gusto ka kausapin go ahead i'm sure they won't bite. kung dinedma ka don't take it personally baka may pinag dadaanan lang yun. life is too short. don't be afraid to take chances coz you'll never know diba

[shiny]

 life is too short. don't be afr;aid to take chances coz you'll never know diba ---   I'll remember this... Thanks sis :-)

[glamorosa_09]

Naalala ko yung first bf ko nung college. He has known me for 3 years. Naging classmate ko sya ng second year. Hanggang mag-fourth year, sya lang yata yung katangi-tanging classmate ko na di ko nakausap, ni ha ni ho.

Until one time, interview ng officership for our club, dun kami nagkausap. Few weeks after that, aba nanligaw na. I`ve learned na second year pa lang, may crush na sya. Nagkalakas sya ng loob manligaw dahil dun sa first time na nagkausap kami, kasi ang friendly ko daw at naka-smile daw ako habang kausap sya.

Ang masasabi ko eh, kung gusto ko mo talagang mag-open ng communication o kahit friendship man lang, try mong lunukin yung hiya mo (kasi nga crush mo na eh). Try to open some small talk about him, ?uy kumusta? Ilang years ka na nag-aattend dito? Etc? Parang mag-open ka ng gate so he can come in if he wants to. And the best gate opener is your smile. Then dagdagan mo ng friendly and genuine interest about him. Kung paano ka mag-small talk sa ibang mga tao, ganun din gawin mo sa kanya.

[shiny]

Thanks for the advice -- will remember this  " Try to open some small talk about him, ?uy kumusta? Ilang years ka na nag-aattend dito? Etc? Parang mag-open ka ng gate so he can come in if he wants to. "        Ganda ng mga one liner ninyo :-)   

[ayi0119]

^ Yun "Ilang years ka na nag-aattend dito?" parang mejo awkward na umpisa yun, kasi you both know silently kung ilan na..
Yun simpleng "hello" as a start will do. Parang you had me at hello lang ang peg!

Kinikilig ako na ewan.. nakaka-miss kasi yang ganyang stage na crush crush pa lang.

[shiny]

oo nakakakilig. esp, when I'm not near, he doesn't smile like a grin and smile coming from the eyes (alam mo yun?)    but last time, he was really serious when I approached malapit sa kanya. basta tumatahimik,di makatingin.  baka kasi hi and hello, baka maging hanggang dun na lang.. need a nice one liner nga...

[dismembered]

^ Movie yun sis where the protagonist, prtrayed by Ben Afflect, suffers a high-functioning form of autism. Hindi sya makatitig sa mata ng tao. hehe

[bluebeads]

Uy parang ok na movie yan ah =)  Love story naman siya? Nakaka kilig? hehe..  I wanna watch!! LOL (Bago lang siya right?)

Naku sis, watch mo baka may makuha kang mga tips hehe