Cancelled Weddings

[oshiawase]

Has anyone got their wedding cancelled?

For what reasons?

Are there any red flags (indicators) to know that one should cancel the wedding?

[tea08]

We were supposed to wed last Jan 07, 2017. We started planning around Sept 2015. By Jan 2016 we've booked several suppliers already however I got pregnant so we decided to cancel our church wedding and have an intimate civil wedding instead. We're now married and our baby is 4 months. We'll still have our church wedding before this year ends.

[shinies]

When in doubt, don't.

Hanapin mo sa internet "things to ask before getting married" dun kayo pwede magkaalaman ng compatibility lalo ng core values.

Check mo din yung marriage section dito.

[yn061515]

ours was not totally cancelled but delayed for some, or several reasons.

original plan was to wed on april 25, 2015 (3 years bf/gf anniversary) but when we went for vacation last july 2014, our parents agreed during pamamanhikan na magpakasal na kami sa civil before going back to the middle east. i got pregnant by november so super preggy na ko sa pictures kung sakaling itutuloy yung wedding ng april, hence we decided to delay.

2nd quarter of 2016, we started to plan na ulit and supposed to be july 21, 2017 (3rd civil wedding anniv) na yung church wedding. we even booked the church na, p&v and otd. but suddenly hindi ako pinayagan magleave ng july kaya nagdecide kami imove ng april (bf/gf anniv again) and move all our bookings also. luckily, they didn't charge us. but then i was promoted and is undergoing training for 6 months which means i cannot go for vacation during the entire duration of the training so we once again moved the wedding to a far away date which is january 19, 2018.

sobrang daming adjustments at pagbabago at minsan nakakatamad na lang mag-ayos, napapa isip ako bakit parang ayaw matuloy? pero my husband reminds me na this is our dream and it will happen in the right time. it will be worth all the wait.

as for the flags naman, madaming possible na indicators eh. like infidelity, lies, insensitivity, hmm... lack of funds or sure source of funds, lack of interest. why do you ask pala?

[pretty_B]

Hi GT! IDK where to post this eh. Our wedding is not yet cancelled but I am thinking na ipacancel na. Ang reason? Hindi na kasi ito yung "dream wedding" ko. Don't get me wrong. I want my wedding as simple as possible not the super engrande wedding but at least maayos and higit sa lahat napagplanuhan. Yun talaga kasi yung keyword for me - napagplanuhan. Pero as days come by, parang hindi na ganun nangyayari.

Ang kwento:
1st sched - Nov 2018 - eto talaga yung gustong date namin ni h2b as early as Q4 2016. bf/gf anniv namin and we already choose the church, nagresearch na din ako about sa mga suppliers within the church area, pero wala pang nabobook.

2nd sched - Sep 2017 - by August 2017 uuwi si FMIL dito sa Pinas. niletgo na namin na hindi makakauwi si FSIL kasi kakauwi lang nya early 2017. this is also the reason kung bakit Nov2018 ang 1st choice namin kasi para BAKA SAKALING by that time makakauwi sila ng sabay. meaning, kumpleto side ni h2b. But we let it go and we decided na mag Sep2017.Nagresearch na ako ng ibang venue (as in different location sa napili naming church), nakapagocular, dealt with suppliers, pero wala pa din nabook. but our condition is... civil wedding muna. after a year or 2, saka ang church wedding pag kumpleto ang side ni h2b.

Now...what happened is...mejo naffeel na ata ni h2b na naiipit sya between sakin (civil wedding on Sep2017) and sa mother and sister nya (church wedding on Sep2017). On their side, para daw minsanang gastos nalang lahat. I understand naman. but look! almost 2 months nalang. where will i start preparing na naman? magkaiba yung location ng church and venues na naresearch ko (since nirereserve sana namin si church sa church wedding talaga). sa civil wedding plans namin wala din kami balak magkaroon ng entourage andfor around 50pax lang.sO, start ulit ng planning. fitting ng gown ko, for my entourage, booking ng suppliers, etc.

Also, I will be leaving my current work 2 weeks from now. meaning by july-september 2017, nasa new work/environment ako. idk kung makakaleave ako for the wedding preps. i only have the weekends while h2b sunday lang ang off. I am really into cancelling the wedding and h2b knows that.

Napahaba na kwento. but i need your thoughts about this sana.

[shinies]

Pwede ba ganito na lang:
civil wedding > simple wedding celebration > dream wedding

Ano gusto ni H2B sis? Yung talagang siya mismo may gusto ha

[kvandenhaak]

You have all the right to call it off if it becomes too stressful.

[pretty_B]

Pwede ba ganito na lang:
civil wedding > simple wedding celebration > dream wedding

Ano gusto ni H2B sis? Yung talagang siya mismo may gusto ha

Hi Sis! Ganyan naman talaga sana ang flow ng events na pinlano namin ni H2B kaya pumayag kami sa civil wedding (church wedding kasi sana by nov2018 nalang). But since andito na si FMIL by this Sep, iraraos na sana namin ang civil and para mapaghandaan si "dream church wedding" after a year or 2.

Sabi sakin ni H2B, kahit ano daw pero sabi nya naiinis na daw sya sa side nya kasi parang pinipilit nila na magchurch kami eh ang gipit na ng 2months prep. saka super voice out kasi ako na ayaw ko ng church wedding. i know naiipit sya samin and i feel bad.

You have all the right to call it off if it becomes too stressful.

Thanks sis! Idk what to do na kasi. and onti nalang igigive up ko na ata yung "dream wedding" ko para lang hindi na kailangan pang sumide ni h2b sakin o sa family nya. huhu. to be honest, pati mom ko, church wedding ang gusto. matigas lang ata talaga ang ulo ko. hays.

Anyway, do you think guys enough ba ang 2months church wedding preps?

[ficklemind]

^ we were able to pull off a decent church wedding with 2-3 months prep time. September din, on a Friday nga lang. Hubby ko lang halos nag-asikaso nun since nasa abroad ako that time.
I'm not encouraging you sis, share lang 

[marywater]

@sis pretty_B: Parang gipit sa oras ang 2 months, but that depends on the number of details. Provided na lahat ng requirements nyo sa church meron na, yes, a very simple wedding is possible. Will it be close to your dream wedding? Baka hindi.

Other ladies might not agree with me about this, pero para lang sakin sis, that's your wedding. People should be the ones adjusting to what you and your H2B want (over the major things at least). Kung may adjustments man kayo ni H2B, mga minor things lang, like the entourage's attire, food selection... pero if it's major like the kind of wedding, the wedding venue/church or yung pag-set ng wedding date, dapat kayo na ni H2B yun.

Know what you and your H2B want, and be firm about it.

[pretty_B]

^ we were able to pull off a decent church wedding with 2-3 months prep time. September din, on a Friday nga lang. Hubby ko lang halos nag-asikaso nun since nasa abroad ako that time.
I'm not encouraging you sis, share lang 

Hi Sis! Friday din yung napagusapan namin na date if Sep na.  I'm happy for you sis. I am sure you enjoyed your wedding. lalo na hands-on pa pala si husband mo. ang sweet. :">

@sis pretty_B: Parang gipit sa oras ang 2 months, but that depends on the number of details. Provided na lahat ng requirements nyo sa church meron na, yes, a very simple wedding is possible. Will it be close to your dream wedding? Baka hindi.

Other ladies might not agree with me about this, pero para lang sakin sis, that's your wedding. People should be the ones adjusting to what you and your H2B want (over the major things at least). Kung may adjustments man kayo ni H2B, mga minor things lang, like the entourage's attire, food selection... pero if it's major like the kind of wedding, the wedding venue/church or yung pag-set ng wedding date, dapat kayo na ni H2B yun.

Know what you and your H2B want, and be firm about it.

Hi Sis! okay na sana yung church but idk kung available pa sya on Sep. But the venue, totally wala pa if magchurch kami sa napili naming church. ibang location kasi yung nasearchan ko ng venue, meaning magiiba kami ng church pag yung venue ang pinrioritize namin. -.-

exactly my point sis re the major things. Hopefully, makausap na ni h2b soon ang mother and sister nya. I dont want to cause any trouble kasi. i told him na i am hoping they could at least give us 4-6months prep time for the church wedding. kaya sabi ko, if makakauwi ulit sila FMIL anytime from nov2017 onwards, i think we'll be ready by that time. though magastos yung pamasahe pauwi sa pinas, hope that's not too much for their only and youngest son and brother. or they let us have our civil wedding nalang. -.-

[Ocarina1]

^ sis I think kaya naman ang preps in 2-3 months depende na lang sa details mo. Simplehan nyo na lang ni h2b mo and pag usapan nyo talaga anong gusto nyong dalawa (as in choice nyong dalawa) without considering other people's opinions. basta simple wedding kaya talaga, lalo na kung meron ka nang suppliers and maliit lang number of guests mo.


di ko alam kung considered cancelled yung sakin, pero yung first fiance ko cheated on me. bayad na yung church namin sa down payment. haha. kung may pinang hihinayangan ako, yung pera na binigay ko sa kanya pang book ng ibang suppliers kasi overseas ako. 

swerte ko sa current fiance ko. tinatanggihan yung share ko sa pambayad, saka na lang daw. tapos tinatawanan na lang namin yung ex ko. haha.

[marywater]

^ Pagtatawanan ko rin yung ex kung sakali. Parang "Hey Ex, in your face. I found someone better" Goodluck on the wedding preps. Lots of love to both you and your current fiance.

@pretty_B: Keeping my fingers crossed for you sis. Kung kaya pa pag-usapan, go! In my experience, madali lang yung mismong pagprepare sa event. Yung drama involved lang talaga yung nakakapagod, but that's a part of the whole experience. Later on, tatawa rin kayo ni H2B mo.

[pretty_B]

Hi Girls! Update lang. H2B told me last friday na pumayag na daw sila FMIL and FSIL na civil wedding na muna. They said, kami naman daw kasi ang ikakasal so we really should have the final say regarding this. I am sooo happy talaga! :"> and I know happy din si h2b kasi i felt na nawala na yung feeling nya na naiipit sya sa sitwasyon and joyful sya nung binalita nya sakin yun. 

But you know what, before that friday, i called my mom and told her about the situation (though alam naman na nya before hand). i just talked and talked and talked to her, emotional na ako sobra. and then with an instance, wala naman syang ginagawang something and then nakalma ako. iba talaga yung feeling na mom mo yung kausap mo, i talked to my best friend, sa mga ate-ate-han ko, pero pag nanay mo na yung kausap mo, para silang may magic. magic na everything will be okay. And at that time, actually, excited na ako makita si h2b to tell him na if talagang church ang gusto nila and if makikita ko pa sya na hindi at ease because of the situation, kako let it be, i just want to marry him kahit sa anong way. But then...nauna sya nagkwento na okay na sa side nya na civil. So, yeah. magulo but we will stick sa civil wedding.

@Sis marywater, yes sis. iba pala yung drama involved napapamagic pa ako. hehe!