Pregnant Mistress

[sandy.san]

What to do?
To cut the story short, I am married and my husband has a mistress. My son and I, we rarely see him. Tinanggap ko na kahit papano yung setup namin ngayon. He travels sometimes for work, kaya sanay din yung anak namin na wala siya sa bahay. But i know, umuuwi siya sa babae niya kapag andito siya. I recently found out that they are pregnant or was or trying. Hindi ko kinaya, gumuho ang mundo ko. My parents told me to confront them once and for all. They told me to take legal actions to put a stop to this. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko. Help!

[plumpolka]

Take legal actions! ikaw ang legal na asawa. Kahit takutin mo lang yung babae para sya ang kusang lumayo sa asawa mo. Pwede mo sya kasuhan ng concubinage/adultery. (kakapakinig ko sa radio about legal stuff). Ang alam ko, kulong ang babae dyan. pwede mo pa sya hingian ng bayad para sa mga damages na nagawa nya sayo. You have to be strong. Not only for yourself, pero para sa anak mo. Parang ginawa ni sunshine dizon. Ang kabit dapat ang takot sa legal na asawa. not the other way around. 

[mysterioza_me]

^Pwede niya kasuhan husband niya ng concubinage (adultery is for the wife na nangangaliwa), kung ma-prove ni wife na may sexual intercourse under scandalous circumstances and proof na nagsasama si hubby and kabit sa iisang bahay. Ang alam ko hindi nakukulong ang kabit. Pwede mo idamay sa kaso ang kabit pero destierro lang ang parusa sa kabit (lalayo lang siya sa family ninyo within a certain radius) and ang alam ko wala siyang multa.

Mas mabigat pa parusa sa RA9262 compared sa concubinage kung ako sa iyo yan ang ikaso mo sa mister mo. Pasok naman diyan ang mental and emotional abuse. Pero if plan mo na makipaghiwalay ng tuluyan TS i-derecho mo ng annulment though hindi talaga grounds for annulment ang infidelity. Magagawan ng magaling na lawyer ng paraan yan.

[Chili1113]

If your husband lives constantly with the mistress you can sue them for concubinage.

But sadly, if he leaves to go home even just once or twice a week then that still isn't considered concubinage according to my lawyer.

The good news is the law on your side. You are the legal wife, and as long as you don't annul him he can never marry the mistress. This means that their child will forever be an illegitimate child, and the mistress is not entitled to any property of your husband. As an illegitimate child, the kid entitled to financial support, BUT kid will only receive half the inheritance of a legitimate child.

[yourboyToy]

Deal with the pain.  Don't try to win him back.  He probably doesn't want you anyways.  Then make sure he fulfills his paternal obligations to your child.

[mysterioza_me]

^^problem sis chili1113 is kung bibili ng property si hubby at ipapangalan kay mistress, hindi na daw yun mababawi.

[Chili1113]

^My lawyer said before pwede habulin yon sis. If let's say ipangalan sa mistress but then the mistress has no capacity to pay, and if you can somehow prove your hubby paid for it, then may habol ka. The problem is is secret purchase yun and you won't know about it so you can't take legal action. =( =(

[mysterioza_me]

^kung matalino ang mistress di niya pag-iingay na binilhan siya ng property/ies ni hubby.

Malaki-laki magagastos ni misis dito but if she's really willing to get even go lang and magdemanda.

[Chili1113]

^Yup usually naka secret yan pag binigyan yung mistress ng property.

OR she could just file for annulment and split all the current assets already. But then again, her husband could marry the mistress after then their love child will automatically be legitimized pa after.

As my lawyer would say... if the spouse is rich you are better of staying married and just do your own thing. As long as you remain married, the mistress technically has no legal right whatsoever to any property. Of course, that wouldn't stop her from living a grand life paid by the guy i.e. the ultimate kabit =  Gretchen Baretto. Which is why till this day they can't get married because the wife of Tony Boy refuses to get annulled.

[mysterioza_me]

^I somehow agree sis.

If matibay kang misis at super yaman si hubby dedmahin mo na lang pambabae niya. Ang importante kahati ka sa lahat ng pinaghihirapan niya, mamuhay ka ng maluho kesa naman sa kabit lang gastusin. Now kung di mo kaya na nambabae siya magfile ka na ng annulment and paghatian ang assets ninyo bakasakaling makahanap ka pa ng ibang makakapagpaligaya sa iyo.

[det060403]

Pwede kasuhan only pag nabuntis or nagkaanak sila or pag hindi na umuuwi sa kanya

[super bratinella]

Can do legal action and then get your part, and live your life straight and start anew.

Can remain in the same situation and your son might think normal, which is not a typical set up for a family,

The best way to live life is to let go when it is needed, since we only live once,, you know when to stop when hurting seem so normal for you, you are not even hurt or angry,  you do not feel anything anymore just confuse, that should not be the case,

The question you ask was already wrong, other wife would ask what do when they learn that their husband is cheating on them, but your question is what to do because your husband and the mistress is trying to be pregnant, and you are confuse what to do.

You know what the right thing to do.. be smart for your kid.

sabi nga nila.. ano po ba hapunan mo lagi  --  anesthesia?

[fashtag]

Kung ako yan maganda din na maging close kahit anak mo sa papa nia para kahit papano, bago bibili yan ng secret property, maiisip din niya yung legitimate son/ daughter niya. 

[kvandenhaak]

If there's divorce in the Philippines, the wife has all the aces.  It's harder to start a new life for wives in this situation. Parang palaging sya yung talo, di ba?

[Lhiz]

Yung ganitong case ba hindi pasok sa VAW?

[mysterioza_me]

^^agree sis, talo siya kasi dala pa din ni misis lastname ni mister unless mag-seek siya ng annulment na aside sa magastos hindi pa sure kung maga-grant.

^sabi sa napanood ko before pasok siya sa Vawc. Payo ng lawyer instead na kasuhan si hubby ng concubinage or bigamy mas mainam na RA9262 (lalo na kung di nagsusustento si mister) kasi mas mabigat daw parusa compared dun sa 2 nauna na binanggit ko. Pasok daw sa emotional and mental abuse yung mga ganito. Di ko matandaan name ng lawyer na nagsabi niyan, napanood ko sa youtube yun before.

For additional info:

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/520678/opinion/commentary-can-a-mistress-be-held-liable-under-the-law

[itsKat!]

Hi sis!

My advice before taking any legal action is for you to reflect and make sure that you can see your husband/ father of your kid in jail. I know nakaka-tempt maglegal action agad but sometimes we don't see the consequences of it. I am not a martyr or whatever, kaya lang based on experience, there are some women kasi who cannot put their husbands in jail because of their child na din.

If decided ka, then well and good go for it since they are really liable under the law.

If not naman, isipin mo if you want to separate na for your long term happiness na din and peace of mind then ask for monthly support na lang.

[Girltalker2]

^ true.

Usually, Lawyers would advice you din - are you sure you want to file a case against the Husband? Kasi once you file, there's no turning back. Dire direcho nang hiwalayan, so para di masayang oras ninyong lahat at ang legal fees, you have to be sure sa decision mo na magfile.

As my lawyer would say... if the spouse is rich you are better of staying married and just do your own thing. As long as you remain married, the mistress technically has no legal right whatsoever to any property. Of course, that wouldn't stop her from living a grand life paid by the guy i.e. the ultimate kabit =  Gretchen Baretto. Which is why till this day they can't get married because the wife of Tony Boy refuses to get annulled.

The Wife needs to be very strong in this situation. She should be able to separate her emotions totally - or in other words - not to feel anything. Otherwise it would be a life of hell/purgatory every time aasa sya na maayos samantalang ang asawa nya laging happy happy.

There will never be any true peace so long as you or your Husband is alive. Once your Husband dies, doon ka lang matatahimik (assuming di manggugulo yung mistresses at mga anak).

[aquacharly]

What to do?
To cut the story short, I am married and my husband has a mistress. My son and I, we rarely see him. Tinanggap ko na kahit papano yung setup namin ngayon. He travels sometimes for work, kaya sanay din yung anak namin na wala siya sa bahay. But i know, umuuwi siya sa babae niya kapag andito siya. I recently found out that they are pregnant or was or trying. Hindi ko kinaya, gumuho ang mundo ko. My parents told me to confront them once and for all. They told me to take legal actions to put a stop  to this. Hindi ko alam gagawin ko. Help!

Well, he has apparently chosen her over you since he goes "home" to her, not you.
You cannot force anyone to love you, that's the hard reality.
I agree with your parents, talk to him; find out what he wants.  How does he propose to live henceforth, vis-a-vis you & your son,  and the kabitch? 
Keep your cool; then plan out what is best for you -- given  what he is willing or not willing to give you now in terms of financial and emotional support for you and your son.

Then move on him.  Get an annulment, sue him for concubinage.
I generally say:  give the philanderer another chance.
But, he doesn't seem to have made any overtures.  You have been psychologically & practically physically abandoned for a long time already.

Hard to face but, the time for praying and hoping he comes back has passed.
Gather yourself, and move on.  No way but up they say, after a knock out like yours.
Hwag kang patatalo in the long run.  Fight to a better life, that's the Best Revenge.

But don't just take my/anybody's advice.  Know yourself deeply and frankly.  What will make you happy in the long run? Can you be decisive?  Can you muster enough strength of character, focus, and commitment?  You can choose to hang-on, regardless of your husband's diminishing involvement in your lives. Or you can go for a clean break, now.  Whichever route you decide on, it will require hard work and give you heartaches.  But only you can see what is the probable end game of either route.  Your call.  Nobody knows you better than yourself.  Just be honest with yourself.  Good luck. 

[lovemeagain30]

ayos etong mister mo TS they're planning to get pregnant kamo?? errr.. binatang binata ang pakiramdam!  kesehodang may masagasaan.

ganyan ang barkada ko nuon nagka mistress siya sa US, nagpost pa sila ng kabit niya sa fb na hopefully magka baby girl na sila ni kabit! sa inis ko sakanya (super close ko kasi yun at ninong pa ng anak ko) sinulatan ko nga sa email niya.. sabi ko "Pare talaga inconsiderate ka"?? hayup karin noh!! ayusin mo nga ang separation mo kay wife saka ka magpost ng kung ano ano. tindi ng sayad  mo! 

ayun hanggang ngayon friends pa rin kami. haha guess what? bumalik sa asawa! hindi naman sila nagka anak ni kabit pero di ba gagu lang to not even think about his original family bago gumawa ng bagong pamilya.

kung totoo ang kulam napakulam ko yung barkada kong yun. naawa ako sa asawa eh.

para kay TS, stay strong and if there is a chance kill the husband.  seriously mahirap situation mo. pray for guidance.