My hubby is mad at me...

[Isabellecava]

Hello and sorry for my terrible english,


im Isabelle from France (not filippina sorry) and I am married with a filippino since 4 years now. We have met while I was travelling there. Now, we 're both living together in France. he find a work in a restaurant and I am a balerina coach.
We're pretty happy together even if he can be very jealous sometimes...

Recently, cause we are both very busy, we did talk about doing sport together so we can spend more time together and having an activity together. He wanted tennis but i hate racket sport, I wanted salsa but he doesnt want. Finally after a long talk he proposed me the taekwondo; i was not  really fan about this idea but i did accept.

So, just before the 1st training, on the car, he tease me a bit telling me "you ll see it's not dance it's tough, i have practice it at school..." ok ok...

First, we warm up then we practice the different attack and defense and then we play a friendly match with another player. We have made 3 training and we both enjoy it.

2 days ago, we were there for our 4rth training. My previous female partner was not there so I decided to be with my hubby for the match part. He look at me and have a huge smile. I am a bit taller than him but he outweight me so I guess the fight ll be fair.

So we start and he did fight aggressivly. His kick was slow so i could easily block its but he volontary make strong kicks.. He also seems to target only my breasts... i told him 2 times to try to not kick as hard cause even if I block it it hurt but he smiles and continu... i did manage to throw him 2 kicks in the stomach. I didnt made it too powerfull to not hurt him but he seems upset and angry. He turn more aggressive. So, then I turn on myself and throw my leg high as a ballerina move.
Too bad he was still attacking me and he didnt notice that my foot land right on his face! he made one step back and fall like a rock on the ground, sleeping on the tatami! i was so in stress while I was trying to wake him up but the coach help me and finally my hubby open his eyes few seconds later. The coach tell me to bring at the hospital so that s what i did even if my hubby didnt want it at all.

On the car and during the hospital he said nothing so I basically was talking alone... I did apologize and he said nothing.He has no serious aftereffect but a black eye and a large bruise on his face. Now, it seems he s still mad at me. he doesnt want to go there anymore after he ll be cure. He's very cold and talking very few with me. Before, he was the one who talk a lot cause im naturally shy. i think I did upset him a lot and i dont know what can i do for him to feel better.

[Purple_Power]

I think he should understand that when you are practicing in self defense anything can happen. I know the force became that much but again it is just an accident. But in reality when you are in strange situation you can use that and the kind of force will work especially if you encountered the culprit outside. He wants you to practice it that is why he has to understand that part too. I know it hurts but there must be a little bit compliment for you as his wife.

[TysLolakins]

'bruised' ego that's what it is, imagine getting beat up by a girl! 
your husband is not a good sport,   you said he wasn't holding back when he was doing the attacking but he cannot take the equal heat from you.  he's such a wuss and a wimp, that's what he is.
let him pout all he wants, you already apologized and that should be enough.

[ficklemind]

^ agree! your husband can't accept getting beat up by a girl! haha
Taekwando was his idea in the first place right?

[minabey]

If I'm reading too much into this, I apologize but I get the vibe that your husband is feeling a little bit insecure (hence the jealousy) and he wanted both of you to do an activity he was already familiar with and you were not. Maybe to boost his ego a bit, that's why he didn't agree on doing salsa because it's just another form of dance.

Maybe taekwondo isn't such a good idea after all. 

Any other activity that wouldn't bring out the aggressiveness in competition in both of you maybe? 

[shinies]

Filipinos are highly machismo. Feed his sense of manliness at all times.

For the sport, find another one.. Maybe something he can be a leader?

[TysLolakins]

^not so sure about that...
my understanding of the original post is  he was the one who picked that activity, knowing that he has the advantage of strength and experience already.  and unlike most guys,  he didn't even hold back,  he pretty much enjoyed attacking her and she only had to block his punches and along the process, landed a blow that knocked him out.  that's LOL for me.
he's acting like a jerk if you ask me.  it's common for couples to pretend wrestle (usually a precursor to sex, hahaha),  but with my husband, who's also filipino,  he would either tell me that we should not do that, that he might hurt me accidentally, or if i convince him that it's ok, he would still not play rough and just let me try to bring him down easily.  my point it, even at times of playfulness,  there's the right way to handle things.
anyway,  i for one would not want to indulge a spoiled brat and TS' husband sure acts like one. 

[shinies]

It's quite the same. He wanted to be at an advantage but it backfired.
He was shamed by her attack, shamed by being forced to go to the hospital (because of course, they have to explain what happened). Blow after blow to his masculine pride (machismo).

I agree the ideal partner would not be so aggressive and would be a sport. He wouldn't bother so much about his pride either.
Unfortunately, thread starter's husband is a typical man and it seems the answer is to feed into his male ego.

[Shadow Angel]

Bonjour! You already done your part. He should be sport, after all he is the one who picked that kind of activity. Typical filipino who would rather not talk to you than face his/your issues. The more you talk to him the more he will resist. Better to give him space for his time to think. Bonne chance.

[TysLolakins]

^^i was disagreeing on 'feeding his ego',...why?  she doesn't have to do that.
anyway, he deserved to get his butt kicked!!!