Single for 6yrs. I dunno if its normal but Im not really bothered by it. Im 29 and most of my friends and batchmates are already settled. Mas bothered pa yung mga relatives ko, some officemates and even my mother. They were like "wala talaga kahit sa office niyo or mga clients", "dapat lumalabas ka palagi, dito ka lang palagi sa bahay", "hay nako tatandang dalaga ka niyan, "suplada ka kasi", "choosy ka siguro"..and so on..
I admit, taong bahay talaga ako. Ewan, parang di ko na feel yung gumala, iniisip ko lasi gastos na naman (though during college todo gala and gimik kami ng mga friends ko). I have a stable job and have a decent earnings. My priorities kasi is first bahay, which as of now tapos na and we're gonna move in with my mother next week. Its just a small house and Im happy to call it my own na galing sa sarili kong pera, na pinaghirapan ko talaga.
Well when it comes to work naman, backroom employee kasi ako so we don't usually mingle with clients though may mga officemates naman akong mga guys but some of them are taken or too young for me or just not interested parang tropa2 lang ganoon. Yes, medyo suplada nga daw ako but honestly, im just shy and awkward around new people especially to someone who shows interest in me, parang front lang yung suplada kuno. Its weird pero parang initial reaction ko na talaga iyon. And yes im a bit choosy but i don't set my standards too high.
Noong nag-aaral pa ako, medyo ligawin ako. I did entertain some but i never had a boyfriend til i graduate in college. My first boyfriend was my barkada (2008), he's not my type actually but siguro nadevelop na din since we're classmates in one of my night classes. Then sumasabay siya sa barkada namin pag hinahatid kami sa boarding house. To cut the story short, naging kami he text me pa nga one time na he did attend a mass kasi thankful siya na naging kami BUT then he broke up with me thru text after 1 and a half month. I did cry, imagined my first hearbreak sa naging barkada ko pa. It seems like i didn't know him at all. After that hindi na siya sumasabay pag may lakad ang barkada. He is scared to face me, of what i might do to him. And me was like "ano naman gagawin ko sa kanya?" Im not a type of person na mahilig sa eksena or mag iskandalo. Months later, he apologized thru text (again) saying that he is sorry na kasalanan niya, na he didn't exert much effort to make the relationship work. Ako naman, i forgived him but didn't give him a second chance. I moved on and i have realized na i didn't loved him that deep. What i could offer to him is friendship lang. Well now, he is in a relationship and im actually happy for him. Friends lang kami sa fb.
Second bf (2009-2010), nakilala ko siya thru a common friend. Friend and classmates ko yung girl in HS while naging classmate and barkada niya in College. Nanghingi kasi siya ng textmate, then binigay naman ng friend ko without my knowlegde. So yun, text and call hanggang sa naging kami. We haven't meet in person since malayo siya. He is from a different province and he needs to travel by plane para makarating sa place ko. But we did send pictures and our common friend confirmed naman na it was us in those pictures. We actually last more than a year, then i realized na parang he didn't exert much na makipag kita. Ayoko namang ako pa yung pupunta sa kanila, although we talked about our families pero he didn't mention me to his parents. Me din, though my cousin knows about it and some of my friends. And i was like, i don't want na ganito na lang, na text or call lang kami. I want to meet him and get to know him more in person. Hangang sa we don't communicate for a month. Tapos bigla siyang magtetext na "hindi ko ba daw siya namiss na its been a month na since last time we talked" and i was like "natiis nga nya akong wag tawagan or text, so ako na lang yung mag eeffort first." He did called non stop, but i didn't answered it. I don't want to talked him when i am mad kasi baka may masabi akong hindi maganda and i might regret it. So days later, he stop calling and days becomes weeks and weeks becomes months. We haven't talked and have a proper break up. Hindi na din ako nag effort, him also. Parang understood na namin na its over. Its been years na din, we never have a proper closure til now but i have moved on. I don't dwell on it anymore just part of the past.
Third bf (2011), nagkakilala kami thru chat. Same thing happened then. LDR, we last almost a year. Hanggang sa we ended it kasi, there's no chance na magkita kami. He have problems at home and its very impossible for him to travel to my place. Ayaw nya namang ako yung pupunta sa place nya. So there, we broke up he cried, i didn't maybe my love for him isn't that strong kasi I didn't fight for it. We did have a proper closure, minsan nagmemessage siya sa fb ko but i am just civil to him.
So there, ang kwento ng love life ko. Sorry mahaba masyado. Since my last bf, wala ng nanligaw sakin til now. Sa totoo lang hindi naman ako maganda masyado just simple and ordinary lang but compared during my school days I did looked way better. Siguro they felt intimidated, I worked in a bank kasi. But honestly, I don't feel pressured na wala akong bf. I just pray kay God na if ever there is someone meant for me, may he will be a person na Im comfortable with and may he will bring out the best in me. I also pray na while im still waiting, He will give me patience and help me to grow emotionally and spiritually ready. But if ever na wala talaga, okay lang naman sakin maybe He has other plans for me and maybe I'm meant for something. Basta lagi ko lang iniisip na "In God's time".
