Emotional Affairs or Am I being too much?!?

[Faith01234]

Sorry mahaba yung story ko.. ;( I just want to hear some advice...

I am married for five years now but we've been together bf/gf for eight years. We had a smooth relationship and I'm over confident na walang iba except on our seventh year when he started to text or chat with his grade school classmate. When I read the messages between him and her it was kind of flirty for me, for him he said it was nothing. So he blocked her on facebook to end the issue then after a while I discovered they're chatting again, sabi ko i thought since nilagayan mo na ng period tong sa inyo, okay na,, wala ng undo button, and it's his own decision to blocked her in the first place, then ayun in-unfriend nya ulit, but still he's following her on Instagram.. What the heck!!!


2012 when he left the country. Yung communication namin skype and FB messenger. One time I have to check something on his FB and I asked him that I will open his account, he said okay. I didn't expect that he's chatting again with the other girl. (A sister of his ate's friend) sometimes pa nga mas nauuna pa nyang i-chat yung girl kaysa sakin, para mag update ng status ng work nya or kung nasan sya.. Nakakasama nyang kumain sa labas mag swimming, tumambay sa house and all tong si girl but he barely mention her to me, he just said same kami ng course na hindi na tinuloy ni girl. I was pissed, iniisip ko baka naman imagination ko lang yun so I let my best friend read their conversation and yes she agreed with me that he's flirting.. So I told him that if he is looking for someone to have an affair with, just end ours first. I will not hold him back, basta wag lang akong g*g*guhin.. Nagka ayos din kami afterwards.. That year kinuha na rin nya ko para magkasama na daw kami...


Then yearly after that he had some random chat with girls na nakasama nya sa event or na-meet lang nya, Ini-invite nya sa FB pero para sakin wala namang kwenta yung pinag uusapan nila like, " Hi I saw you in the event, do you remember, I was there... How are you?  blah blah".... pa sweet na messages lang, so ako, ano to sino ba yan, lahat talaga kailangang i-invite at i-message ng walang kwentang topic?!? tapos yun... laging WALA lang yan ang sagot nya... then Delete...


2014 I was pregnant. He has to go out of the country. He left his Ipod touch in the office and since his senior office mate knew me, she gave it to me.. I mentioned that to him during skype and he said that I should turn it off daw. Huh?!? What for? I asked him.. Sabi ko I will not touch your saved games, I will just use it for music.. But he insisted  to turn it off.. Then something appear on notification message from a girl with emoticons saying how's your day?!? I was curious syempre so I opened it.. but to my my disappointment there was nothing, no thread, really nothing.. I checked her profile on FB...
 I waited a day before asking him about her and how come there in no history of her message to him.. I added, ALL her post was LIKED by you... Sabi nya kasi pagseselosan ko na naman daw kaya binura nya na lang.. and he just asked something about the flight nothing serious... I was mad.. If she's nothing why do you have to delete all your conversation with her while the other messages from other people were there..This girl is special.., and that was past 1AM, mind you!!! hindi ba pwedeng ipagpabukas... When he came back he said that, really that was nothing and to clear my mind, he said he's  not going to speak with her and he unfriended her.

2016 I came from work and found him sound asleep. My battery was drain so I plugged it to charge next to his phone, then again whatsapp notification came.. It says good night with emoticons registered to a name I didn't know.. So again me being curious I opened it and was shocked to their conversations. It was more than flirting, it was like somewhat he's courting her I think.. Conversations that we never had even when he's pursuing me before. It was like I am reading someone's message..
Their message composed of consistent good morning and good night my sweet or my beautiful ____...
He admits that he liked her and misses her whenever he's out of the office, he said that he's happy being in this area because of her, he's jealous of someone who's approaching her (she works in the reception) and no matter how tired he is, he's looking forward to the next day that he can see her. Also I read in their conversation that he dreamt of her sharing a passionate kiss and he loves it and hoping that he dreamed of her again. Plus the constant praising. How beautiful  she is or her hair, or how he like to smell her, to sit beside her.. To much to bear...
They share the same interest in photography, he said that yeah he taught her sometimes that's why they became close...

But never did he mention her to me.. Ever...  he even lied that she was different person living in another country but the truth is, she was the same girl as before and continuously they're in good terms. He's secretive about her that's why I know there is something  special about them.
I was in pain, felt like I will be a fool to trust him again. Sabi ko GO!! hindi naman kita pipigilan. Akala mo kung sinong maamong tupa kapag nagso-sorry, anong sense pa ng sorry kung lagi naman inuulit. Nagkaron na ko ng trust issues, I'm mentally tortured knowing that they see each other everyday. He said wala naman daw nangyari physical sa kanila, but I doubt it. This girl lives in the same building  as we lived and if ever they have plenty of time to sneak-in my home, most of the time I am evening duty up to past 11PM while  they are up to 6PM, nobody's home...

So I don't know... Help me...
 



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Thank you guys sa mga statement nyo, I don't know why I cannot post reply..

[handlewithcare]

^Hi sis! Sorry to hear your story. Hindi pa ako married pero alam kong mahirap makipaghiwalay sa asawa kasi madaming consequences.
 
But if I were in your situation (which is somehow na-experience ko din with my ex), I will talk to him once and for all. Either tigilan na nya talaga ang communication with the other girl or tuloy pa rin sila pero hihiwalayan mo sya. Parang mental torture at emotional abuse ang ginagawa nya sayo.
 
Opinyon ko lang naman yan. Kasi naranasan ko na rin maging partner sa isang taong flirt at maraming "options". Sobrang kaloka. Hanggang ngayon nga nasasaktan pa din ako pag naaalala ko kung pano ako ginawang t****.
 
Anyway, be strong sis and God bless you.
 

[mysterioza_me]

^^Yung kwento mo sis katulad na katulad ng kwento ng friend ko. Ganyan din highschool classmate naman namin yung girl (magschoolmates kami ng wife, husband and ni suspected other woman). Well what she did was she ended her relationship with her husband. Pero bago yun, lahat ng conversation ng husband and girl nascreenshot niya ang posted it sa facebook. Flirty conversations din. Marami pa daw yun hindi na lang niya naipost. Napuno na daw kasi siya, she warned the girl and her hubby. Akala niya tapos na pero may communication pa din pala. Madaming beses na daw siyang nagpatawad, pero paulit-ulit lang daw asawa niya. At first akala niya masasanay and mamamanhid din siya pero tuwing mabibisto niya sa kasalanan mas lalo lang tumitindi ang sakit at nakakawala ng respeto sa asawa pati na rin sa sarili. Dumating sa point na napapraning  at nagiisip na siya ng kung ano-ano pag di sila magkasama ng husband. Kaya instead of taking all the pain and pagtitiis she ended their relationship na lang. Its up to you sis kung hanggang kelan mo kaya magtiis sa ganyang buhay just to keep your marriage. 

[Girltalker2]

Affairs start with flirting. And if the Two (Husband at kabit) are receptive to each other, gives in to the temptation, things can progress to chatting, texting, dating, then eventually becoming a full blown affair.

Ganun naman sa umpisa, wala lang.

TS, your hubby is sick. Paulit ulit. Parang ang dami nyang oras makipaglandian

[Shadow Angel]

Cycle na yan, everytime na mahuhuli mo itatanggi. Nasayo yan until what time mo kaya makipag sa laro ng ganyan. Hindi sya mauubusan ng palusot sayo. Kaya mas mabuting magkaroon ka ng solid evidence. Saka same girl hmm feeling ko hindi lang yan simpleng landian. 

[mysterioza_me]

Saka same girl hmm feeling ko hindi lang yan simpleng landian.

^yan pala ang nalimutan ko imention, its either may feelings si mister sa girl or obsession/lust.

[Evolet027]

I agree with other sissies. JUST END THE RELATIONSHIP. Your relationship will lead to nothing. And yes, once you set him free, wag ka na gumawa ng effort. Save your pride. Hindi nya derserve na pag martiran mo sya. Just walk away and never look back.

[dismembered]

Wala na akong masabi Ang gusto ko lang mangyari ngayon, turuan ng leksyon ang asawa mo. Kung pwede lang na basagin ko na ang mukha at tanggaling lahat ng confidence na meron sya para hindi na sya maka ganyan pa. Matagal ka ng niloloko. Kahit anong gawin mo ikaw ay talo. Gusto ko turuan ng leksyon. Masamang ehemplo at hindi dapat tularan. Nalulungkot lang ako kasi kahit gawin sa kanya yun, ikaw pa rin ang masasaktan at ikaw ang mawawalan. Kumbaga, walang win-win situation akong nakikita kundi laging may sacrifice kang gagawin.

[mysterioza_me]

Si hubby ang nasa win-win situation here kasi in case he gets to keep the wife and the suspected mistress. Sabi nga ng mga kabataan ngayon buhay f*ckboy si Mister

[Shadow Angel]

Tama malalim na un pag same girl sabi nga kapag ang lalaki paiba iba ng girl fling fling lang un nothing serious. Pero pag ang lalaki nagstay sa isang girl may attachment na yan, may feelings and worst baka mahal na.

[ece]

^ I also believe in this sis. kung ibat ibang girls, medyo magagawan pa ng paraan. pero kung same girl for so many years, iba na talaga iyan. 

[shinies]

6 na taon na siyang ganyan paulit ulit nakikipaglandian at kunwari iboblock para amuin ka pero babalik sa dating gawi. Sis, bakit ka pumayag magpakasal ng ganyan tapos naganak pa kayo?

So I told him that if he is looking for someone to have an affair with, just end ours first. I will not hold him back, basta wag lang akong g*g*guhin..

Sana balikan mo ito at wag mo antayin na siya pa tumapos sa relasyon niyo. Ikaw na humiwalay para sa kapakanan mo at ng anak mo. Masisiraan ka lang ng ulo kakabantay diyan at matalino ang mga bata, nakikita nila yan at may epekto sa kanila ang relasyon ng magulang nila..