LDR

[its18851]

Hi sisses, I just need some advice. I'm new to this LDR relationship, and kinda new into having a relationship again (It's a long story.)

I just have some question on how you communicate. My BF told me that I am suffocating him and he feel chained because I expect him to tell him everything that he do. So I just have some questions so I can change that. Btw, he is not from here so maybe their culture is also different.

Here it goes:
Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?
Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends?
Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home?
How often do you communicate?
Do you skype or talk on phone everyday?

I overthink most of the time but I really want to make things work.

[three8one]

^ medjo mahirap sagutin tanong mo na yan kasi nga ibang lahi pala yan.. pero if ever lang naman ito ma share ko,

Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?

- nasa pag uusap nyo, if mag dedemand ka pwedeng I work out. if di nya nakasanayan, at ikaw ang madalas nagi greet eh siguro makakabuting ganun na lang gawin mo, mauna ka palagi if gusto mo din sya mag greet sayo.

Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends?

- kung sa kalahi natin, madali lang hilingin sa kanya yan but since mag kaiba nga medjo mahirap yan kasi pwedeng hindi sila sanay na may nag tatanong sa kanila. siguro pwede mong gawin, ibahin mo yung hirit mo, instead parang nag dedemand ka, everyday mag tanong ka but this time para kang nag lalambing.

Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home?

- nasapag uusap nyo yan kung gagawin nya, pero yung typical na mag karelasyon sa atin dapat  talaga sinasabi kasi nag aalala yung kapartner once alam nyang nasa labas pa yung nobyo nya.

How often do you communicate?

-ditto naman, pwede araw araw yan, but I suggest limitahan nyo lang yung oras, wag naman tatagal kayo ng walong oras o higit pa kasi sa maniwala ka at sa hindi sa sobrang tagal ng pag uusap nyo tapos araw araw pa, mauubusan din kayo ng mapag uusapan. at pag wala na kayo mapag usapan mauuwi na lang yan sa awayan.

Do you skype or talk on phone everyday?

- oo, malaki ang maitutulong nito sa relasyon but again, katulad ng nabanggit ko limitahan nyo lang ang oras. at pag tipong wala na kayo mapag usapan time out mo na. wag pilitin mag kwento si partner lalo pat wala na rin naman sasabihin pa.


lahat ng yan mahirap gawin sa isang LDR pero pwedeng gawin yan. walang imposible sa dalawang tao na nag mamahalan. chos!

 

[Girltalker2]

 IMO, mahirap mag LDR lalo na if you want constant communication. Unless wala kayong masyadong ginagawa, puede iyang constant communication through texts/chats.

[jakh]

Hi Sis  its18851
Eto sagot ko sa mga tanong mo based sa experience ko:

Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages? No. Personally, ayoko nung nagiging routine or monotonous nalang yung communication. May sawa factor for me yung ganyan na you have to greet each other good morning/ good night araw-araw.

Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends? Yes but not for the sake na mag-ask ng permission ko.
For the sake lang na alam ko na lumabas siya at kung sino kasama niya.


Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home? Pag night out? Not really bukod sa once in a blue moon lang  lumabas si bf e mga pinsan niya or kapatid ang kasama niya halos.
Ako, mas magala ako compared to him and I dont inform pag nakauwi na ako. 
I expect him to inform me like if he travelled outside our province tapos tipong pauwi na siya. Ayun nag iinform naman siya pag ganun.

How often do you communicate? Mga 3-4 times a week. Catch up/ kamustahan/ lambingan on the phone or memessage sa whatsapp. May mga times  na kapag may ichichika ako sa kanya and vice versa na tipong hindi na pwedeng ipagpabukas, we call each other up.

Do you skype or talk on phone everyday? No. We agreed not to set a schedule for skype. For us pag random lang na skype session or phone call,mas spontaneous ang chikahan naming dalawa once nagkausap kami. Hindi yung sa sobrang dalas mag usap mawawalan na kayo ng pag uusapan and I agree with bro three8one, pag wala na mapag usapan mauuwi lang sa awayan.

Advice ko sayo sis, magpakabusy ka. Madaming pwedeng gawin sis bukod  mag-expect sa messages/ calls niya.  . Ako, I keep both my work and social life busy. After a busy  workday or on weekends I'm almost always out with friends or nood ako ng mga TV series pag nasa bahay lang ako kasi pag wala ka talaga ginagawa kung ano ano maiisip mo.

[Shadow Angel]

I've been to LDR and now we are together na. Hindi rin pinoy so mas makakarelate siguro ako.

Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?
Generally no, we both don't like it. Isa pa magkaiba kami ng time. Madalang kami mag good morning/goodnight besides alam namin both sides what time ang gising at tulog.
Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends? No, he can go whenever he wants to go, no rules for me, for us. Pero madalas sinsasabi nya kung nasaan sya if magkausap na kami. Magsasabi lang sya kapag mahabang vacation time.
Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home? No, ayaw namin lahat monitor parang nakakasal naman talaga ang ganun.
How often do you communicate? Everyday, random call/messages lalo na kung pareho kami available. Twice a week videocall.
Do you skype or talk on phone everyday? Yes, just letting each other knows hey i'm here. Well hindi naman matagal na usapan kasi we both busy sa work.

Nakayanan namin at magkasama na kami. Mas madalas may tampuhan nun LDR kami kesa ngayon magkasama na. Kaya we don't want to be on LDR again. Space and privacy ay importante lalo na kung hindi pa kayo mag asawa.

[mysterioza_me]

Baligtad tayo TS, sa amin 2 mas demanding si bf sa mga ganyan.

Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?
-Not really but its nice to know na ako ang una at huli niyang naiisip when he wakes up and before going to bed. Sarap din naman ng feeling na paggising ko may good morning message siya sa akin.

Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends?
-Oo naman, just for the sake of me knowing kung nasaan siya at sino mga kasama niya and for safety purposes na din since nasa Middle East. Ayaw ko ng labas siya ng labas lalo na pagmag-isa at baka magahasa siya dun. Ganun din naman ako sa kanya, I always tell him pag may lakad ako ahead of time and kung sino kasama ko. Nagagalit siya sa mga biglaang lakad.

Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home?
-Oo siya naman nagset ng rule na yun kaya I expect him to do the same na dapat alam ko din kung nasa bahay na siya. At first medyo nakakainis na everyday nagrereport ng uwi pero kasi sabi niya he wants to know if I reached home safely lalo na madaling-araw uwi ko.

How often do you communicate?
-Everyday. Random messages lang pagtulog pa ako or vice versa. Then magchat kami pag hindi siya busy or hindi ako busy sa work.

Do you skype or talk on phone everyday?
-We always talk on the phone everyday kasi nami-miss daw niya boses ko and ako naman I love hearing his laughters. Nagvi-videocall kami once a week.

[spacemonkey]

Hi sisses, I just need some advice. I'm new to this LDR relationship, and kinda new into having a relationship again (It's a long story.)

I just have some question on how you communicate. My BF told me that I am suffocating him and he feel chained because I expect him to tell him everything that he do. So I just have some questions so I can change that. Btw, he is not from here so maybe their culture is also different.

Here it goes:
Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?
Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends?
Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home?
How often do you communicate?
Do you skype or talk on phone everyday?

I overthink most of the time but I really want to make things work.

I feel that after years of a long distance relationship, I'm now suffocating my boyfriend. Feel like I'm getting clingier and crazier the longer we do this. hah!

Whats your boyfriend's nationality? My boyfriends American, and our cultures aren't that different.

We were pretty cool and laid back as a couple when we lived together, and because we lived together for about 2-3 years, it was a bit hard when we had to go our separate ways.

Not a day goes by we don't message each other. We often talk about 2x a day. Excessive? Maybe.

I don't expect a good morning/good night message, but we do message/call each other at these times. In the rare times he doesn't reply in his mornings, I'd assume he's busy or heading to work. If I don't reply, he'd think the same... or that my internets just being shitty again. Before he sleeps, we always talk or at least message each other, if we're not home.

I don't expect him to tell me everything he does... we just do. It's basically like talking to your best friend and telling them everything that happened to you that day or while you guys were away from each other. "I had a fight with this guy", "this biitch annoys the fuucck out of me!", "I had to mow the lawn."


He doesn't need to ask permission to go out with friends -- I don't want to be that girl, but when we message each other and we're out, we'd just be like -- I'm at godknowswhere, hanging out with godknowswho. When we talk, and we know we have plans, we'd just be like: Yeah, I'm supposed to meetup with whatshisface today to do godknowswhat. Do we expect each other to say when we're home? No... but we message each other anyway, because we'd know the others up by then.


I keep telling this to everyone -- LDRs are the worst at the beginning. Its hard to find a routine and get your schedules to sync, it takes a while to accept that he won't be there for you all the time, and at least one of you has to keep their head straight.

God knows how hard my boyfriend had to deal with me at the beginning. I was just angry, sad and a weird ball of emotions. If this is a serious relationship, you should be able to talk to him about it, and he should be able to guide you through it too.

[pan.ian4ever]

Hi sisses, I just need some advice. I'm new to this LDR relationship, and kinda new into having a relationship again (It's a long story.)

I just have some question on how you communicate. My BF told me that I am suffocating him and he feel chained because I expect him to tell him everything that he do. So I just have some questions so I can change that. Btw, he is not from here so maybe their culture is also different.
Here it goes:
Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?
Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends?
Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home?
How often do you communicate?
Do you skype or talk on phone everyday?

I overthink most of the time but I really want to make things work.


Hey sis!
I also have a foreign boyfriend.
To answer your questions...

Do you always expect to get a good morning and good night messages?

-of course, expect good morning and good night messages, pero wag naman maghysterical kapag hindi makatanggap ng mga ito always. Take note of the time difference. And of course, kung mahal ka nyan talaga, magpaparamdam yan within the day, hindi man maging eksaktong morning or night. Kung hindi man, antay ng next day, try to ask pero huwag mang aaway agad agad.

Do you expect to know if he's out with friends and which friends?
-based on my experience kasi with my bf, sya kasi mismo nagsasabi ng mga bagay bagay na nangyayari sa kanya like kung aalis ba sya, makikipagbilliard ba, aattend ng party, and etc. Maybe you could ask him, pero try to think and ask in a way na hindi naman masyado magiging pakialamera. I think this is just part of the getting to know you better stage.

Do you expect him to tell you once he reached home?
In my case, I don't kasi kadalasan tulog na ako pag nakakauwi sya. He has work and I have too, so I try to understand the situation. Hindi ko din naman sya lage kinukulit na "hey i am home"... ask mo na lang siguro sya what time ang schedule nya especially if he has work para somehow you have an idea.

How often do you communicate?

We communicate everyday. Mostly skype, kahit messages lang. Pag breaktime nya or hindi madami ginagawa ko, nag uusap kami. At saka ako, nagpapamiss din ako minsan, hindi ko inuunahan magmessage to see if he would initiate any conversation in a day.

Do you skype or talk on phone everyday?
As i said we do. Yung videocalls mostly we do it on weekends para kahit magpuyat kami. Magschedule lang. O kaya pag namimiss namin ang isa't isa, kahit sandaling video call lang, pwede na.

Advice lang sis, siguro ayun nga, magmahal kung magmamahal pero be skeptic din. And of course makiramdam. Wag masyadong mapilit at makulit.

Aja sis!

[Veronica1212]

Meron ako LDR dati. Yung mga people around me, almost sure na hindi magwowork. As in hinihintay lang nila na magbreak kami. Tama naman sila.

[Guada_FN]

Hi ladies,

If ever your LDR involves a foreigner BF or hubby, this article may worth reading: http://www.femalenetwork.com/relationships/dating-a-foreigner-a1598-20170125-lfrm?ref=home_feed_1

Let me know your thoughts!

[Shadow Angel]

^my husband foreigner sya. We don't have big fights. We barely have disagreements. LDR mahirap but constant communication is one of the key. Sweet, caring and he believes in equalityy. Walang boss boss sa amin. House chores no problem tumutulong without need na utusan. Responsible and disipline. Eto napapansin ko wala sa pinoy disiplina.