Am I considered the "Third Party"?

[yellowminion]

Hi guys. Normally I wouldn't ask this in a forum. But I feel so alone right now. My best friend is working abroad and I can't think of anyone na di judgemental. Bottomline is, I have no one and I feel lost so...

My current bf broke up with his Ex for me. I just know this kelan lang. Kasi when he was courting me he said he's Single already. And sabi niya yung Ex daw niya nakipag-break sa kanya. But I found out later on (and he admitted) na siya pala yung nakipag-break. The thing is, nung first time na nagpadala siya ng flowers sa office ko di pa sila break ng ex niya na yun.

So to make the story short, I was the reason ( though my bf says na matagal na silang di ok because of his Ex gf's infidelity but that's beside the point) why they permanently ended their 5yrs relationship.

His Ex gf was my fb friend. Ni-block siya ng bf ko in his account pero di ko siya ni-block sa account ko since why should I? Ang kaso lang, minsan may post yung Ex niya about babaeng nang-aagaw ng bf and I was thinking ako yun??

I was starting to hate my current bf for putting me in this position. I mean why not end the relationship before courting me??

Na-experience ko na rin before to be cheated upon or landiin ng ibang babae yung past relationships ko before and that was too painful, I wouldn't do that to any girl.

I don't know what to do. I don't understand why I feel so guilty when I didn't consciuosly break up somebody's relationship.

Inaway ko yung bf ko and tell him how I feel and he says these things but it doesn't make me feel any better.

I respect other people's relationship and modesty aside, di ko kailangan mang-agaw ng bf. I like men but I can live without them.

I just feel angry. I don't know what to do. Ayokong isipin ng ibang tao na mang-aagaw ako or what. 

[Girltalker2]

TS, it's your BF that is at fault. Di pa sila officially hiwalay, pumoporma na sya. Baka sakali na pag di mo sya sagutin, may gf pa sya.

For me lang ha, naka katakot to be with him, kasi umpisa palang, Kita mo na ang potential nya magsinungaling.

If I'm in your shoes, I would break up with him, habang di pa matagal ang relationship. I know easier said than done. But objectively speaking, if you're my Sister/Daughter, iyan ang mapapayo ko.

[hisana]

^Agree with every word.

And also, I think it cannot be avoided na isipin ka na mang-aagaw. The truth is that your bf broke up with her because of you, and yun lang ang focus ng mga tao. They will not bother to find out all the other details about how you two ended up together. Unless na lang you or your bf will go around telling the whole story to anyone who'll listen, dun lang ma-clear yung name mo. Kaya lang si bf naman ngayon ang magkakaroon ng reputation problem if that happens, di ba. No choice but to ride it out, I guess.

But the bigger problem is, as Girltalker2 said, medyo mukhang hindi trustworthy ang bf mo. Niloko nya yung ex nya and technically niloko ka rin nya, and so early on in the relationship! Major character flaw ang ganito, IMO. It's something you should really think about.

[chicafabulosa]

I agree with sis GirlTaker. It is your bf's fault not yours.

Also to add to what sis Girl said, the foundation of your relationship is not that stable. It all started with a lie. It is scary to be with someone like him. You should be with someone who would make you feel better and not the other way around. If did that once, how sure are you he can't do that to you also. It's hard to trust a guy like him. Now if you think yu cant fully trust him, better to end things before it gets worst.

[Shadow Angel]

Start pa lang may trust issue na. Ito un isa sa mga sign na red flag but most girls will always try to ignore. Until magtagal ang relasyon or maging asawa at hindi na basta makahiwalay. Kahit iavoid mo ang ganyan bagay lalabas pa rin ang trust issue nyo pagdating ng panahon. Kung ako yan makikipagbreak ako.

[yellowminion]

Thank you sisses for your honesty. The thing is, I know what's the right thing to do pero I still need to hear it from other people. I guess I'm weak. I have trust issues and yun nga, I dont like this feeling na ang sama ng loob ko palagi but I tried so hard na hindi siya awayin kasi lagi niya sinasabi tapos na daw yun. I have decided to break up with him and I pray to God mapangatawanan ko. Kesa naman I feel like this everytime. 😭😭😭

[chicafabulosa]

You will just feel like s*** at the start but eventually you will be better, stronger and wiser. Do something to divert your attention. Join a club, find a hobby. Delete every possible contact sa kanya. Do what is best for yourself. And besides, God will not give you something you can't handle. everything happened for a reason.

[Since1992]

Good decision to leave, TS. When you acknowledged how bad the situation was and chose to confront your boyfriend about it, it showed that you have a good head on your shoulders. Hindi deserve ng lalaking ganun ang tulad mo. I pray na mapanindigan mo nga ang pag-iwan sa kanya. 😊

[Girltalker2]

^ Minsan mahirap nga to be in this situation, Lalo pa if si guy lang nakakausap mo and sweet talker pa.

But one has to always look at the big picture and stick to your decision - especially sa mga ganyang klaseng lalaki

[pan.ian4ever]

Hey. It was never your intention. Try to think it over and over. Wag mo na papatulan si ex-gf. And as for your bf, if he was able to lie and do it to his ex, what makes you think he won't be able to do it to you? Just guard your heart and protect yourself. You deserve more than that.