Regrets After wedding

[Ziyi]

^These are the same things that our "already married" friends keep reminding us. Don't focus too much on the details na hindi naman na mapapansin at maaalala ng mga guests mo after the wedding. In the process of doing our wedding preps, I have to give up some things:

1. Fireworks - I love fireworks but it's one of the things that I needed to cross out from our wedding program. I found out na may mga permits pa pala that you need to secure from the Barangay and of course you need to hire people to set the fireworks off and thus increasing its cost.

2. Souvenirs - I know for some, giving out souvenirs is a must but we've decided to do away with this. Instead, we've decided to convert our candy bar (which is free from our catering package) into a trail mix bar and then provide nalang a small white paper bag with stickers bearing our thank you note.

3. Printouts - Initially, I wanted to print ceremony and reception programs. Then I read here na madalas di nman na napapansin yun at iniiwanan na nga lang daw ng mga guests sa table. So I had to forego with the idea.

4. Mobile bar - This is really nice to have but we've decided not to book one. You have to remember  that any additional supplier would add to the number of crew meals that need to provide. So what we did is asked some of our Uncles to sponsor nalang cases of beer and ice for the after party hehe. And H2b asked his groomsmen to bring hard liquors at yun nalang ang gift nila samin. (But please find out if your reception venue charges corkage fee for liquors bought outside. In our case wala naman so ok lang.)

We're still planning our wedding and these are just a few things na ginawa namin to save on costs..   
 

   

[itsKat!]

^thanks for the reminder Chili1113 and Tinsflor!

I agree with Tinsflor, it is such an eyeopener  But sis Chili1113, ang ganda ng confetti blast mo! dahil sa SDE mo, I want one too! haha may mga nakikita ako 4k if confetti lang. Its in my "wants" list along with my flower wall at the back when I will enter the church. But because of your SDE also, I realized okay na ang white cloth! ang ganda na!

Anyway, my wedding is still on Feb. 2017 pa. We didn't actually booked a stylist but a florist lang that is why minsan napapaisip ako if I should get a "real" stylist, that means addtl. 50k/60k. (that's my max budget if ever). But then again, reading your posts here makes me realize na even though it is a once in a lifetime event, I still need to consider other things "after" the wedding. Very good example mo Chili1113 regarding your condo renovations. Hence, I will stick with my no-stylist wedding since for me my venue is elegant enough even without a stylist (hotel venue and I will just pray that the florist will do good) and everytime na maiisip ko kumuha ng stylist, I will remind myself that I want to buy a new car after my wedding! hahaha.

TIA everyone! keep the posts coming! so helpful for brides to be!

By the way Ziyi, no fireworks and mobile bar na din kami! For souvenirs, still on the "pending"/"to think about" list. haha!

[Chili1113]

^Hehe thanks itskat!! In a way sulit naman the fireworks and confetti machine since it added visual appeal to our SDE. However, sometimes napapaisip ako hahaha at where that money could have gone to, especially when shopping for major appliances and furniture. Then I feel kinda silly and guilty for added something we only enjoyed for 2 minutes.  Whereas renovations, appliances, furniture can be enjoyed day in-day out for many years to come.

Tinsflor: oh no... yes I remember your change ballroom issues! Well at least now, you don't have to worry about the guests fitting. For me, anything to make my guests' experience really more enjoyable is worth it- like food upgrades and alcohol. In your case, the bigger ballroom will really make the guests feel more comfy.

I can so relate though when it comes to wedding expenses snowballing. With me my turning point was when I hired a high end stylist. That was a big jump in expenses from sticking with a mid-range stylist. BUT after THAT upgrade happened, I felt compelled to upgrade other things. For example, I felt the need to upgrade my lighting and chairs. Since I was spending so much on flowers already, it made sense to upgrade those other things too in order to maximize the floral display. AND SO... the snowballing of expenses began. The I later on started obsessing about entertainment, so on and s forth. LOL!!

I think you don't IMMEDIATELY feel the wedding spending regret after the wedding. But like after 2 months being married, reality starts to set in, initial wedding high is over, wedding obsession is over. For me, that's when I got to take a step back and really got to assess what was really worth spending on and what wasn't so necessary.

[genegin]

Sa akin, siguro not to rush too much. Parang so many things were running through my head hindi ko nalasap and na-enjoy lahat ng pinaghirapan namin. So many things happening at the same time na talagang na overwhelm ako. Maybe dapat fi-neel ko nalang na araw ko talaga and didn't worry about other things. Anyway, there were people hired to focus on those naman. I guess that was the OC in me.

[mindiegirl]

Reading realizations here always force me to work through all my options, gives me fresh perspective and get me thinking about alternatives I have not previously considered. Really great advises especially when facing a difficult supplier decision. Super thank you.

[lovemeagain30]

True ang pagsisisi ay nasa huli with regards sa mga nagastos sa kasal.

Mabuti nalang wala kaming masyadong ganun regrets pagdating sa ganyan kasi lahat samin ay DIY from family and friends. It made the wedding event more memorable pa for all of us.

Ang lagi ko din iniisip nun kung maliliit na details lang, don't sweat it off anymore. don't spend a lot for it. go for generic!  lets say sa flowers sa church, KAHIT ANO as long as "mura" at maganda siya enough na yun. di ko rin dinamihan ang bili. kasi in the first place, samin naman nakatingin ang mga tao at hindi sa mga bulaklak. kung sa picture yan, ni hindi nga yan napapansin. Ultimo bridal car flowers, kami narin ang gumawa! haha. wala nga pumansin din, mabuti nalang di na nag effort pa gumastos pa dun.

[Chili1113]

^That's sooooo true lovemeagain30!!! DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF - because in the end they don't matter much! No one cares, or even if they did notice it-- it won't be worth the effort, stress, and added expense.

I don't regret naman talaga. It's just more of shock lang when I buy stuff for our house, na super duper dami ko na mabibili sana with what I spent for extras and upgrades.

[sparklingjewel]

I think a lot of brides (including me!) get carried away with all of the things you can think of personalizing and making special for the big day. You think they're going to have so much impact and make your wedding even more memorable. And they really do add up.

But let me tell you, for those who aren't married yet, maybe 80-90% of the things you stress about, people wont even notice or even if they do, they wont remember after a while. Because it's not their wedding, and they couldnt care less if you had wonderful confetti, a photobooth (really, i dont even know anyone who keeps the prints), paid for expensive cardstock for your invitations, used calligraphy on your table cards, changed into a second gown, etc etc. Sa totoo lang, majority of these wedding items are all SMALL stuff. People only generally remember the big things, like food, venue, the SDEs, their overall comfort during the event. Yung iba nga dont even recall the SDEs. So brides really sweat out every little thing, but notice when you attend other people's weddings, even if they have a crappy SDE, it's not like it matters to you after a week diba.

Not everyone will agree. Perhaps brides derive satisfaction over getting all these little things for the wedding because you know you made your day the best it could be. After all, it only occurs once. And if so, then it's worth it since you're happy. But if you have a really tight budget, there's definitely a whole lot of things you can cut. I think I could have survived at 70% the amount I spent.

[bollin_pop]

I love this thread!
Note to self: DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF!

Now off to my list again to review my needs and wants list.
I have to focus on essentials.

[lovemeagain30]

If I may add people will also remember on how you guys as a couple enjoyed the whole event - bukod sa nabusog sila at naging kumportable sila during the wedding.

Have you been to a wedding na napaka simple lang pero na feel mo talaga yung happiness nung couple? Yung tipong kahit pack lunch lang siguro pinakain sakin eh ayos na kasi iba yung 'vibe' nilang dalawa. parang nagvibrate yung kasiyahan nila tapos inabot ka.

I've been into weddings where in grandeur nga pero ewan ko ba at parang may kulang. Parang pagkain lang inenjoy ko then that's it!

Weddings should be personal and intimate not necessarily expensive. The couple should have fun on the day itself. Yung mga wants and details of it, let go mo na. Additional clutter lang yan sa mind niyo imbis na pag usapan niyo as a couple the kind of life you will have together after the wedding. Mga ganun cheesyness. Kesa stress kayo sobra sa pagpiprepare at pagba budget.
 

[shygirlme]

-gumawa sana kami ng guest list bago naghanap ng venue. para hindi ako nag waste ng time sa paghahanap ng venue. may gusto akong venue na good for 100pax lang sana nag go na ko don.
- No separate picture of my parents. meron kami magkakasama kami. also with my pamangkins din sana.
-Kung hindi lang special tulips samin, sana hindi ko sya ginawang bouquet. ang bilis malanta halata sa pictures!
-wedding gown. sana di na ko nagpa 2 in 1 haha!
-wala kaming picture sa starbucks booth sayang!
-pinaextend sana namin yung photobooth.
-sana ibang caterer nalang kinuha ko haha!

[juwie]

I love this thread! Haha!

- ako rin super emotional nung bridal march ko akala rin ng iba hihimatayin ako I was so EMOTIONAL! Hahaha but as much as I want to regret it, I remind myself na yun talaga yung natural na naramdaman ko nung time na yun eh, why would I fake it? 😊

- I wish I had my hair let down for the post nup pictorials. I just think I've always looked better with my hair down. 😊

- I hate to admit it, but I wish I just joined the bandwagon and bought myself an (expensive) white bridal robe. I've always considered it as an unecessary hype but it looks good on photos talaga. I got a maxi dress which I was still able to wear again after the wedding though.

- I've said this before - I wish I booked a different ento gown supplier! I think that is my only valid regret because overall our wedding went really well.

[yannuh]

-sana ibang caterer nalang kinuha ko haha!

haha naalala ko na naman hinanakit mo sa caterer mo sis :p

[shygirlme]

^ang mahal kasi tapos di naman tumatak pagkain nila sa guests namin! akala tuloy ng iba kinuha ko dahil sikat. eh sila lang naman kasi may free food tasting malapit samin haha!

[juwie]

Have you been to a wedding na napaka simple lang pero na feel mo talaga yung happiness nung couple? Yung tipong kahit pack lunch lang siguro pinakain sakin eh ayos na kasi iba yung 'vibe' nilang dalawa. parang nagvibrate yung kasiyahan nila tapos inabot ka.

This! Yes I have! Hindi naman packed lunch level pero the happiness of the couple exuded throughout the day and their smiles gave so much good vibes. I, as a guest, felt really happy too and I don't know why!

[kdramaholic]

To be honest, sa observations ko.. Bigla nauso yung super bongga na wedding sa generation natin! And super expensive ng  suppliers! Kaya some couples are pressured and minsan nagiging competition na wherein dapat naman it's not all about how high end your suppliers are or gaano kabongga yung kasal, dapat naman mas maipakita kung gaano tayo ka-in love kaya tayo magpapakasal. I'm not saying naman na wag mag splurge, I think ok lang as long as na afford at walang ibang mas important na bagay na macocompromise at yun yung gusto niyo pareho.
Sa ngayon, di ko masabi na super simple nung wedding namin pero pinagtuunan namin ng pansin kung ano yung gusto namin at importante like food and p/v. The rest we are still figuring out what to let go. Isa sa mga most recent na nilet go namin ay musician because most of our favorite songs din naman ay mas better kung original singer ang kakanta kaya we compiled na lang yung songs in one usb. Hehe Yung budget for that ilalagay na lang namin siguro sa wedding rings at least forever nasa kamay namin. This thread is very helpful sa mga b2b na kagaya ko. Dami ko natutunan at sure ako na ma-aapply ko sa wedding namin. Thanks, ladies! Happy preps everyone!!!!

[kaitlynmischa]

^I have to agree with all of you.  We are so busy making our wedding beautiful cos aside from we want to make it memorable and guilty ako na minsan I just want to ride the bandwagon. Sobrang mahal na magpakasal, I remember telling my fiancé na I wished we got married 3 years ago medyo mas mura pa ang rates haha! But seriously, I have attended several weddings, the 2 recent ones eto yung nag stick sa mind ko:

Wedding 1:
I noticed that:
- Aircon yung church, I told myself I want that kind of wedding
- Super nice reception styling, para kang nasa greece
- Sarap ng food
- Slideshow of prenup pictures

I didn't notice but when I reviewed their pictures:
- the flowers at the church was just simple pero not bad, i still find their wedding NICE.
- balloons, cocktails, photo booth, wedding favors
- change of gowns (bride has 3 gowns, for church, reception and after party)

Wedding 2:

I noticed that:
- the wedding gown is so beautiful, kaso nagpalit pagdating sa reception, now I realized sayang yung wedding gown pag nagpalit ka nang simpler gown sa reception.
- the food is not good from a well known caterer
- the venue is nice too and pricey but kinda far from the church
- nakakatouch yung vow nila, super kakainlove. Very striking!

I didn't notice but when I reviewed their pictures:
- bongga pala ang accessories ni bride
- church styling
- high end stylist pala yung nagstyle ng reception
- fountain fireworks -- this i remember, but we had a hard time breathing, kasi its enclosed. Now i realised baka mahal ginastos nila dun
- mobile bar - i tried pero para saken add on lang kasi hindi masyado napansin
- photo booth with bag tags - ok sya for me, pero the purse I used that night, until now andun pa rin yung bag tag
- sobrang effort ang pre wedding videos nila, with matching reenactment pa how they met. Now I realised this add on is so expensive.

So yeah, I guess based from my own experience, accessibility, convenience and comfortability is the key!

[Chili1113]

^Same here sis! One of my bff's got married last month and she had 2 gowns. Ceremony gown was a custom gown a local mid-range designer, and the 2nd one was her backup gown from a local RTW store. Both gowns were pretty-- but the 1st custom gown was just so much more exquisite and costs 3-4x more than the 2nd rtw gown. Sayang because none of the guests saw her 1st gown up close at the reception-- and that dress was sooo pretty up close, I couldn't help but run my fingers over the lace of her gown hehe.

[kaitlynmischa]

^ Agree sis Chili1113! Before, I wanted 2 gowns for my wedding but later on realised that the ceremony gown is more expensive yet its only worn for 1 & a half hour. Super sayang! Will definitely stick to one gown till the end of the day! Hehe!

[MS_JanDel]

^I also wanted na 2 yung gowns ko kasi ganun yung sa cousin ko. Kaso i realized I'd be paying a good deal of money for a ceremony gown tapos max 2hrs ko lang magagamit. hahahah. I wanted to have my money's worth so I'll wear it the whole event, I might even wear it to sleep. hahahaha