Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 8)

[IamMarieLove]

While reading sa mga posts niyo sis napaisip ako, Does it really matter if mas successful yong women in terms of status and career over their partner?

To guys out there, do you prefer to date girls na hindi masyado mataas ang naabot sa buhay? Let's say sa inyong dalawa ikaw ang mas successful kaysa sa GF mo?

[dismembered]

To guys out there, do you prefer to date girls na hindi masyado mataas ang naabot sa buhay? Let's say sa inyong dalawa ikaw ang mas successful kaysa sa GF mo?

It depends siguro sa guy at sa situation. Kung "dating" at getting to know stage pa lang naman, syempre yung mga guys, kadalasan pipiliin nila yung someone na alam nila "deserve" lang nila. Yung parang achievable at hindi impossible for them. So sa simula pa lang, anjan na yung barrier ng differences during selection. Either sa level ng beauty, sa social status or even sa outlook in life nasusukat na ng lalake kung sino ang i-try nila i-pursue. Among my peers, minsan may naririnig ako na "sobrang ganda ni ganito" for me so hindi ko ka-level yan. Same with "sobrang yaman or sobrang high class ni ganito" at yung "sobrang achiever ni ganito cannot be reach". May mga ganyang factors na nacoconsider ang mga lalake bago mag pursue sa isang girl. Pero in the end, kung makikita naman nilang may "chance" silang sagutin or makatuluyan si girl according sa preference ni girl, eh malamang mawawala yung barriers

Ibang instance pa dito yung pagiging mas achiever ni girl over kay guy during relationship stage na. Yung naffeel ng lalake dito is insecurity siguro. Much lang parang feeling nya hindi sya yung lalake na ideally dapat ang nag provide at nag protect ng family. More of machismo nga. Kapag nasa ganitong stage ka, kailangan lang talaga na iparamdam mo kay guy na part din sya ng every achievement na magkakaroon ka. Yung parang ipahiwatig mo, kahit medyo hindi naman, na yung success or achievement mo ay naabot mo sa tulong nya. More of tulungan kayo parang ganun. At syempre wag sana magbabago ang tingin dapat sa guy. Let your man feel like a man. It's a guy thing eh. Imagine nyo, bakit parang mas popular ang mga short at petite girls sa mga kalalakihan? Kasi nga mas feel ni lalake na sya yung provider at protector.

[simang]

Ultimately, we accept the love we think we deserve.

[badw33d]

To guys out there, do you prefer to date girls na hindi masyado mataas ang naabot sa buhay? Let's say sa inyong dalawa ikaw ang mas successful kaysa sa GF mo?

It doesn't matter, as long as we are compatible, and gets a long well, then' I'm good.

[IamMarieLove]

^ So pag sa assessment niyo pa lang hindi kayo papasa sa isang girl, you will no longer pursue her? I assume you're a guy right? Would you date someone na mas pa sayo in terms of physical appearance, status, educational background and career? Also, just curious, what do you think of an independent woman - a turn on or turn off?

I agree na ibang usapan na once you two are already in relationship. Bakit kaayo maiinsecure if yong GF niyo achiever? Hindi ba dapat proud kayo sa narating ng GF niyo? Diba somehow part kayo ng success ng GF niyo?

@Badw33d that's right naman pero hindi lahat merong ganyang mentality. May kakilala rin ako na hindi niya matanggap na mas mataas na achieve ng GF niya kaya parang he will drag down the GF and stopping her from attaining more. Kung mahal mo talaga ang tao hindi magmamatter kung anong meron siya at wala ka, there will be acceptance and all.

[Girltalker2]

^ So pag sa assessment niyo pa lang hindi kayo papasa sa isang girl, you will no longer pursue her? I assume you're a guy right? Would you date someone na mas pa sayo in terms of physical appearance, status, educational background and career? Also, just curious, what do you think of an independent woman - a turn on or turn off?

Depende talaga sa tao. If the guy thinks she is worth his while, he will pursue her no matter what.

I always believe na kailangan ka din maghanap ng ka level mo, if not naman, dapat higher kasi you aspire to be like him/her, Hindi ba?
Remember behind every successful man, there is a woman. For a guy to be successful, may influence Yung kinikilala nyang partner somehow. Kung boba yung partner nya kasi he feels more comfortable with her at di sya na-i-intimidate, eh di lagi nalang syang at that level at di sya mag i-improve kasi di nach-challenge utak nya. If ever naman mag improve sya, he would find others more interesting at eventually ma b-bore sya sa partner nya if walang mapag usapan.

For the girls naman, is it worth giving up your dreams para you stay ignorant and financially dependent for the sake na mas marami pumatol sayo? Hindi rin naman di ba? You dream big, pursue it. If a guy gets intimidated, eh di sya para sayo. If a guy pursues you, ibig sabihin, he feels you are worthy and he is worthy as well. If mas mataas status mo financially or sa education, it doesn't mean Hindi sya mas matalino sayo. In fact he can still be smarter. So bakit sya ma-i-insecure? As a girl, Hindi ba gusto mo rin naman to find someone na may direction at may pangarap? If yes, then nothing should stop us from achieving din.

I agree na ibang usapan na once you two are already in relationship. Bakit kaayo maiinsecure if yong GF niyo achiever? Hindi ba dapat proud kayo sa narating ng GF niyo? Diba somehow part kayo ng success ng GF niyo?

For me this still matters. Relationships crumble minsan because one party was able to improve and pursue his/her dreams while the other one napag iwanan at di naka cope. And people change as well.  So kapag mag bf/gf na at tsaka na insecure yung guy, baka di nanga kaya nung guy sabayan yun gf nya, time to separate.

May kakilala rin ako na hindi niya matanggap na mas mataas na achieve ng GF niya kaya parang he will drug daw the GF and stopping her from attaining more. Kung mahal mo talaga ang tao hindi magmamatter kung anong meron siya at wala ka, there will be acceptance and all.

Kung mahal nya talaga gf nya, he will never want to see her fail or keep her away from what she wants to pursue. If he doesn't like her achieving things, then the bf should let her go for her happiness. Sa kakilala mong iyan, tawag ko dyan selfish at talagang insecure. Sariling ego lang nya ang importante.


Sorry napahaba post ko, as usual...

Nabasa ko din recently...  If You Want to Date Someone Great, Be Someone Great. And I couldn't agree more.

[jtansanco]

While reading sa mga posts niyo sis napaisip ako, Does it really matter if mas successful yong women in terms of status and career over their partner?

To guys out there, do you prefer to date girls na hindi masyado mataas ang naabot sa buhay? Let's say sa inyong dalawa ikaw ang mas successful kaysa sa GF mo?

I've thought about this. The thing that bothered me wasn't how successful the woman is. It's actually her lifestyle. Let's say she earns a lot more than me. Obviously, her spending habits are definitely higher than mine. It's human nature that the more you earn, the more you spend. As a guy, the first thing that comes to mind my mind is: Can I afford her lifestyle? If she is accustomed to fine dining, what will she think if I take her out to a "normal" restaurant?

That's why I've gotten pieces of advice from relatives and friends and they tell me to find a girl who is less successful than I am so she can appreciate more. It's easier to appreciate the finer things in life than the simple things in life. Give a beggar $100, he/she will be super happy. Give a rich person $100, it will disappear in a moment.

Dude nakilala mo ba yung talagang sya? I mean yung tao sa likod ng lahat ng account, na-imbestigahan mo ba? OFW ba sya na lonely at walang magawa? Kasi kung hindi man, baka talagang batikan sa ganyan yan. Who knows baka extortionist or katulad ng mga nigerian scam yan. Syempre gagawa ng mas kapanipaniwalang modus sa kung ano ang trend ngayon.

She's a Pinay from the PH. She's an obstetrician and the family is kind of well-off. Pwede ako maging gold digger sa lagay ko. Haha! But I don't know the rest of her "true" story because she had at least 4 personalities so I don't even know which is real and which is fake. Masyadong insecure sa looks eh. Can't do anything about that. Plus, it's impossible to trust her. Maybe she's doing this because she is so "bored" with life.

[argento]

Kaya madaming women na maganda naman, mayaman, matalino pero matandang dalaga.

kasi gusto nila ka level din nila but this only applies if they're good lookin they have a choice.

[Girltalker2]

It's actually her lifestyle. Let's say she earns a lot more than me. Obviously, her spending habits are definitely higher than mine. It's human nature that the more you earn, the more you spend. As a guy, the first thing that comes to mind my mind is: Can I afford her lifestyle? If she is accustomed to fine dining, what will she think if I take her out to a "normal" restaurant?

I Guess that's why you need to find more of an equal sayo and same lifestyle. Kasi di ba the danger naman if the girl appreciates you for always bringing her to nice restos, how do you know Ikaw talaga ang gusto nya or the lifestyle you are giving her?

That's why I've gotten pieces of advice from relatives and friends and they tell me to find a girl who is less successful than I am so she can appreciate more.

You mean less richer? But in the f-il Chi world, doesn't the family of the guy look down on the wife he marries if she is not of the same financial status?

Kaya naintindihan ko rin point mo sa kabilang thread, mahirap talaga humanap ng lifetime partner kasi pati ito you need to take Into account. So the sample size gets smaller and smaller.

Perhaps ok lang yung advice marry someone who is less successful compared to you, but for me one should marry someone smarter or just as smart. Financial success should also be secondary, I believe. Importante she should have a good heart, not evil. May mga mayayaman naman na willing to go to normal restos just to enjoy the time with Simeone the find interesting, kesa dining alone sa expensive resto.   Also, It is not necessary na if one is more successful than you, she will have a lavish lifestyle, some people can live way below their means and be happy with someone who truly loves them also.

[jtansanco]

^ True. Find someone equal or close to your league. There's a lot of factor in finding a partner. There's the social status, race, culture, chemistry, and etc.

As for the F-il Chi world, it depends on the parents. It's a given that the son will take over the family business so they don't necessary look down on the wife if she's not "wealthy". But for F-il Chi women, it may be the case. That's why it's rare to see a F-il Chi girl with a Pinoy. Iba kasi mentality sa Pinas eh. There's really a difference social status. People actually look down on others. Let's say you're a graduate of ADMU/UP/DLSU and then you meet someone who studied in a non-UAAP/NCAA college. Before you even get to know each other, medyo judged ka na.

Anyway, I've gotten off topic. Not even sure where I'm headed. Haha. For me, the simpler the lady is, the more I appreciate her because I know I can afford her lifestyle.

And lastly...

Also, It is not necessary na if one is more successful than you, she will have a lavish lifestyle, some people can live way below their means and be happy with someone who truly loves them also.

Come on... This is wishful thinking here. It's like saying I'm willing to give up a brand new BMW for a second-hand Toyota. Or, I'm willing to move out from Corinthian Garden to move to an apartment somewhere on the outskirts of town. Once you get used to a certain lifestyle, it will be tough to let it go which is why we tend to go for someone who is our equal. If you consider yourself as a smart person, would you love someone even though "jeje" siya? Possible but highly unlikely.

Either way, you're programmed to like someone similar to the people and environment you grew up with.

[IamMarieLove]

As a girl, Hindi ba gusto mo rin naman to find someone na may direction at may pangarap? If yes, then nothing should stop us from achieving din.

Exactly my point sis. I want to find someone who is successful in his own way. Ako, I work hard para marating ko yong mga narating ko and masasabi ko na I can provide for myself financially so on my part, bakit ako maiinsecure sa bf ko kung ako sa sarili ko alam ko na successful naman ako.

Women now days are more independent. Gone were the days na women tend to depend on men all the time but that doesn’t mean naman na we don’t want someone we can depend on it's just that siguro ngayon sa ibang aspect na namin gustong magdepend sa mga guys. And hey, isn’t it great if you are dating someone successful? Diba nakaka proud na gf mo lawyer or Bf mo doctor mga ganun.


“For me this still matters. Relationships crumble minsan because one party was able to improve and pursue his/her dreams while the other one napag iwanan at di naka cope.”


That’s the problem sis. Nasa tao kasi yan, If you want to improve do something para mag improve ka sa aspect na gusto mo and kaya may napapagiwanan kasi they allow na maiwan sila. If your BF is striving very hard, ikaw din dapat mag strive hard. 

It comes with choices din sis. Kung choice mo na magpaiwan, well maiiwan ka talaga but if you choose na magsikap on your own then good. Diba its better if sabay niyong aakyatin yong pangarap niyong dalawa?

“Kung mahal nya talaga gf nya, he will never want to see her fail or keep her away from what she wants to pursue.”

Super true sis. But may mga selfish na tao na sarili lang ang iniisip and always using love for all the wrong reasons.

Ok lang kahit mahaba yong post mo sis at least nasasabi mo yong gusto mong sabihin. I know marami ka pang masasabi kaya lang baka mas lalong humaba to. Ehhee

^ True. Find someone equal or close to your league. There's a lot of factor in finding a partner. There's the social status, race, culture, chemistry, and etc.

I agree bro there are really lots of things to consider in finding a partner though nothing’s wrong with having a standard for as long as it’s within reach. Minsan kasi may mga taong ang taas ng standards kaya siguro dumadating sila sa point na tumatandang dalaga or binata. Sayang ang pagkakataon kung pinapalampas lang.

[jtansanco]

^ Yup, that's true. (Pointing at myself) Hahaha

[budgetchic]

Guys, do you believe in this quote? What does it mean?

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

[Girltalker2]

Come on... This is wishful thinking here. It's like saying I'm willing to give up a brand new BMW for a second-hand Toyota. Or, I'm willing to move out from Corinthian Garden to move to an apartment somewhere on the outskirts of town. Once you get used to a certain lifestyle, it will be tough to let it go which is why we tend to go for someone who is our equal. If you consider yourself as a smart person, would you love someone even though "jeje" siya? Possible but highly unlikely.

Either way, you're programmed to like someone similar to the people and environment you grew up with.

I think may truth dito, Pero somehow there is a balance. I have friends who are super rich pero di sila mahilig sa bmw or signature bags. Those are the ones I'm referring to. Those who currently are still living below their means at hindi nila ambition maging socialite/high profile, but on their own, they have a successful business, and can afford talaga.

But as I've said may point ka rin, kasi Kung Ikaw yung guy and you don't have a job, mahihiya ka i-approach sya syempre. At the least, the guy should be able to fend for himself and potentially a family - decently, not necessarily lavishly.

[badw33d]

Guys, do you believe in this quote? What does it mean?

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - Bob Marley

Not entirely true. My wife is easy but shes amazing. 

Sometimes when we give up, it's because we're worthy.

But yes, everybody will have a chance to hurt us, it depends how we're going to take it. 😊

[jtansanco]

^ Okay lang yan. At least the gf is there when in times of need. Di naman pwedeng lahat ng focus kay gf assuming the guy has a lot of friends and he's close to his family.

I think may truth dito, Pero somehow there is a balance. I have friends who are super rich pero di sila mahilig sa bmw or signature bags. Those are the ones I'm referring to. Those who currently are still living below their means at hindi nila ambition maging socialite/high profile, but on their own, they have a successful business, and can afford talaga.

But as I've said may point ka rin, kasi Kung Ikaw yung guy and you don't have a job, mahihiya ka i-approach sya syempre. At the least, the guy should be able to fend for himself and potentially a family - decently, not necessarily lavishly.

Yeah, pero iba kasi yung "rich" dahil sa parents compared sa "rich" sa sariling sikap eh. Eiter way, good points. 

[TomHansen]

What do you think of a guy na maaalala yung gf when he's in trouble or may problem? Pero pag happy hindi maiisip or maalalang magtext kay gf?

May malaking problema ang relationship nila kasi nagkaka-usap lang sila kapag may issues yung guy.. Hiwalayan lang ang sagot diyan.

[budgetchic]

Kayo bang mga boys, gusto nyo rin ba na yayain kayo lumabas ng girl na gusto nyo? Anong una nyong mafefeel/maiisip kapag may mag-aya sa inyo?

Ex.
G: Hey __, napanood mo na ba tong movie na 'to??
B: Hindi pa eh. Baket? Yayayain mo ba ako?

[jtansanco]

^ I think you should omit the "Yayayain mo ba ako?". It's unlikely that a guy will make that comment to a girl. But anyway, if I like the girl and she asks me out, GAME. No matter how busy I am, I will make time for you.

[chicafabulosa]

Yan na si Jake the ninja moves... Update me! what happened to the canada based ba na girl?

^ But anyway, if I like the girl and she asks me out, GAME. No matter how busy I am, I will make time for you.