The wife is cheating.

[donzski_doinks]

I have a friend. Married na sya with 2 lovely daughters and one son. Teenager na yung panganay and yung bunso mga 7.

Hindi na kami madalas magkita since nakatapos kami sa earning units. We are both teachers, btw.

So un last week, we had this simple get together sa house ng isang friend na teacher din. Tapos itong si married friend, she mentioned about this 'jowa' several times. I thought he was referring to her husband so I asked "nasaan si hubby mo ngayon? Susunduin ka ba?" Then she replied "hindi wala akong paki dun." So I was like nagtaka kasi nung nag mention sya about jowa kilig na kilig sya...tapos sabi nya hindi daw si hubby nya yung jowa na tinutukoy nya. Napanganga talaga ako. I haven't met her hubby personally pero sa mga kuwento nya dati, ang impression ko is mabait si hubby nya and sobrang understanding. Hindi pa din daw sila hiwalay ng hubby nya and hubby doesn't know about her jowa. tinanong ko sya kung may problema ba sila ni hubby nya, sabi nya wala. Masaya lang daw kasi sya when she is with the jowa.. sobrang na-disappoint ako kay friend (though di ko pinakita sa kanya na ganun) kasi di ba, if she doesn't love the husband anymore, edi makipaghiwalay bago makipag-relasyon sa iba. May mga anak pa sya... hindi nya naisip mangyayari at mararamdaman ng mga anak nya kapag nalaman na nangangaliwa nanay nila... alam nyo naman sa kultura natin, pag lalaki nangaliwa, macho. Pag babae, malandi. Naawa lang ako sa mga anak. Hays. Sana magising na sya sa katotohanan.

[yannuh]

^you should ask her sis bakit sya may jowa. baka may mas malalim pang dahilan.

[donzski_doinks]

^I asked her actually. Sagot nya lang basta nag-eenjoy daw kasi sya when she is with the boyfie.... other than that wala na siya sinabi na reason. Basta happy lang daw siya whenever she's with the guy.

I also asked her kung may 3rd party ba on her hubby's part and she said wala naman daw.

[yannuh]

^pero are they still living in together? baka hiwalay na?

[iam_me]

imposibleng wala silang problema sis, yun communication nila ni hubby nya kamusta?

[red_yesha]

Kung ganyan nga ang sagot nya.
Eto yung panahong nag eexplore sya sa kamunduhan. Gusto nya may thrill.
Sabe nga nila, masarap ang bawal.
But I hope marealize nya na mali ang kanyang ginagawa lalo na't wala naman "daw" malalim na rason.

Ano ba kulang? Lalake? Echos lang!
Kung ano man ang kakulangan ng asawa nya, sa kama ba, pinansyal o atensyon dapat sabihin nya. Open communication kumbaga.

[Girltalker2]

She is a teacher. A Mother and Wife. Di ba nya naisip nakakahiya ginagawa nya? All because masaya sya?

[ri-anne]

Sis, if you're concern sa family nya and her kids, that's good. That's what true friends are diba to help friends in need.
However, in this case, i think she thinks she doesn't need any help at the moment. She isn't asking for any, just currently enjoying those times with her jowa...mga nakaw na sandali...the thrill of it...
Kahit anong untog sa ulo gawin mo sa kanya, at the end of the day, it is still her choice, her decisions to make. After all, it is her life, and her own family she is putting at risk.
The best you can do as a friend is tell her the risks and remind her and be there for her. Or not. It is also totally up to you.

[kvandenhaak]

I thought merong code of conduct ang mga teachers? Di ba sya mawawalan ng trabaho kung merong makaalam ng ginagawa nya? I feel for the kids. Kasi sila magsa-suffer sa paglalandi ng mother. Haay...

[TomHansen]

i believe there's always a reason kung bakit nangangaliwa ang babae, hindi lang kayo siguro ganon ka-close kaya hindi niya masabi sa iyo/inyo or maybe mahaba ang istorya kaya imbes na ikwento nasabi niya na lang na walang reason kaya siya nangangaliwa. What's weird is she kept on mentioning she now has a jowa na..

[donzski_doinks]

@kvandenhaak yep we have code of conduct for professional teachers. Kaya lang ang problem kasi, co-teacher din nya yung nagpakilala sa kanya dun sa jowa nya.

[cosmochick]

What bothers me is she seems so proud of her affair. 

How old is your friend sis?

[Girltalker2]

^ what is odd about this is di sya nahihiya sa ginagawa nya. She even dares to talk about it openly in public.

And you must feel very awkward about this, ikaw pa mahihiya if ever you see her hubby and kids.

[cosmochick]

^exactly sis.

May self -esteem issue ba si friend mo and she thinks na ikakaganda nya that despite having 3 kids, may nagkakagusto pa rin sa kanya?

[mooncake and leaves]

I think that when someone is cheating, it's possible that they've lost the love. But your friend's display shows that she lost all respect for her husband. She's emasculating him. It could be that she thinks he's too nice and hopes to get a reaction from him kaya din she's careless. Maybe she and her husband are no longer intimate and she's not sexually attracted to her husband anymore. Maybe she never was. Who knows. Regardless, how you handle it depends on how close you guys are and what you can allow in your life. That's sad, though. But lahat tayo nanghuhula lang. Did you ask her why oh why???

[quinone]

i think she is telling you this in confidence maybe because she feels you will not judge her.

ito opinion ko lang naman...tingin ko kasi like some people who do drugs, they don't really need to have issues/problems to turn to it. she did it just because she can at yun nga sabi niya, it makes her feel good. chaka minsan ang mga reasons na ginagawa natin yung mga ganitong bagay e subconscious. siguro kung papaanong nakakatuwang magbasa ng romance o magfollow ng love teams sa TV, yun din ang dahilan. sooner or later magigising rin yan sa katotohanan. may mga bagay talaga na hindi naman maintindihan unless it happens to us too.

[junetwentythree]

Ah the proverbial double standard in full effect here.

If the man cheats, right away we say it sucks but "boys will be boys."

But now when the woman cheats, we try to rationalize it somehow. We try to find a deeply rooted meaning behind it all. For all we know, this person is just a plain a$sh*le doing a$sh*le-y things. So there's one possible reason for you.

In this case, I'd have to agree with some of other opinions posted. It's none of your business, really.  Unless you feel like getting a bunch of teachers fired right now.

[stormy_princess]

selfish bang matatawag ang friend mo TS dahil sa iniisip nya lang sarili nyang kaligayahan? In public eyes, maybe yes. Pero we don't know kasi kung ano ang pinaghuhugutan nya eh...whatever happens sana maging okay lang ang mga anak nya..kasi sila ang pinaka magiging affected dito eh..

[donzski_doinks]

Hi mga sis. Sorry now lang ako naka-reply. In observance of the holy week kasi, di muna ako nag net.

@cosmochick: She's 35 years old.

@Girltalker2: actually nung nabanggit nga nua sa akin about her jowa, parang ako pa yung nahiyang makinig sa kanya.

@mooncake and leaves: I asked her why. Kasi nga although personally never ko pa ne meet si hubby nya, based on her kuwento, mabait malambing at sobrang understanding si hubby at responsableng ama din sa mga anak nila (friend had a love child from previous relationship before her hubby and tanggap yun ni hubby kaya si friend ay sobrang hanga and all praises sa hubby nya). So yun nga, nung tinanong ko si friend kung bakit nakapag-relasyon sya sa iba, ang answer nya lang ay "masaya siya kasama. Happy ako pag kasama ko sya." Or something like that.

Although friend and I are both teachers, we are not working in the same school. The reason kaya na-post ko ito dito is that, bothered lang ako sa pwedeng mangyari sa mga anak (i mean yung epekto sa kanila emotionally) since they are close to me for I don't have children of my own.

And naalala ko, na-mention nga pala ni friend na si Jowa nya, although not married pa, meron namang girlfriend.

[im fine!]

Weird lang kase parang proud ba sya. I believe there's a reason why people cheat. In her case baka mapasama pa kung sasabihan mo sya kase she's not asking for advice naman.