One Night Stand

[dismembered]

Ang alam ko nkikipag hiwalay na yung asawa sa kanya dahil nga ayaw ng asawa or hindi matanggap na nagkaanak nga yung asawa nya sa ibang babae. Pinipilit parin nung babae na anak daw nya yung bata hindi na raw need ng paternity test sure na sure daw sya. Whoa!  Nakakatawa parang desperada na makakuha ng sustento sa lalaki eh hindi naman mayaman yung guy.

I would say... yan na nga ba ang consequences ng ginawa nya. Mahirap talaga eh. Andaling mag claim at gumawa ng eskandalo. So hindi talaga sya matatahimik. If ako sa kanya, gawin nya na lang ang tama ngayon at i-try i-salvage ang mga natitirang pwede nyang gawing tama. Wag nya ignore kundi mag paternity test nga sya. Hindi sa mayaman o hindi... karapatan ng bawat babae at anak na maghabol sa tatay. At kung may kasalanan naman talaga yung tatay, dapat lang talagang magdusa sya.

[thea_girl]

^ Because cheaters are awful human beings, they respect their penis more than their partners. Kapag may available na na babae nakakalimutan na nila gf nila. And also varierty, sasabihin nila nagsasawa na sila sa same vags kaya titikim ng iba..

I agree, considering mahal nyo mga asawa or gf nyo still gumagawa parin kayo ng kasalanan, wala sa ganda or bait yan ng partner. Ibig sabihin ba nun hindi kayo satisfied?

[dismembered]

^ Kung ako ang tatanungin, merong dalawang klase na maaaring mangyari...

May differences yung "cheater" sa "someone who cheated". Mahirap explain pero yung yung una eh yung cheater na yung taong alam na yung mali, pero paulit ulit pang ginagawa. Cheater kasi ugali talagang mag cheat at pag may pagkakataon mag cheat talaga. Meron din namang naka pag cheat unintentionally, let us say nagkamali na magka ONS nadala sa sitwasyon. Yung former, sila yung parang "animals" talaga. Alam ng mali pero itutuloy pa. So yeah awful sila. Yung latter naman, yeah basically may kasalanan pa rin sila. Pero they didn't intend to at pagsisisihan nila ito and they should do something to amend and correct their mistakes.

Sa sitwasyon ng guy na kilala mo, I don't know kung ano sya sa dalawang yan. Might be the 1st kind kasi nasa bar sya? If hindi nya intend mag cheat bakit sya nasa bar? Or baka yung 2nd kind? It depends. Pero ang mahalaga, gawin nya maitama ang mga mali nya. Hindi naman talaga maiiwasan minsan na magkamali ang tao. nasa sa kanya na yun kung paano nya aayusin.

[TomHansen]

I agree, considering mahal nyo mga asawa or gf nyo still gumagawa parin kayo ng kasalanan, wala sa ganda or bait yan ng partner. Ibig sabihin ba nun hindi kayo satisfied?

Or hindi nila ganon kamahal yung partners nila kaya di mapigilan ang sarili.. Kung mahal mo si partner dapat kahit may nakahubad na sa harap nila magdecline pa rin sila pero ganon talaga, most men are weak..

[Girltalker2]

^^ what I don't understand sa mga 'cheated' is may reason sila to be sorry blah blah blah...

Point is they were consenting adults. For sex to happen, it is not like u just 'tripped' and it happened. It is a series of conscious decisions that lead to a ONS.

For example, una, titingnan mo yung babae, next kakausapin. Then landian kayo. Then may effort parin tumayo at umalis, humanap ng place to be private, then at that moment, gagawin nyo di ba? Ilang decisions iyan? And it doesn't happen in 1 second. It happens over 30min minimum? Over a few hours I guess?

So para sakin baloney iyang nagkamali! He knew what he was getting into, kaya *sshole parin sya kahit anong pagsisisi nya.

[her_shey]

^ I agree. One night stand is a choice. Hindi sya accident or mistake for me kasi ginusto.

[thea_girl]

Nagpupunta sa mga girly bars ano pa ba gagawin ng mga lalaki dun obviously naghahanap ng aliw, we know that lust lang yun if may nangyari nga sa kanila nung babae sa bar, still kasalanan din nung lalake kase yung babae ginagawa rin nya trabaho nya kung ano man work meron sya sa bar na yun, but to the extent na magpabuntis ka sa customer? nakakatakot hirap malaman kug sino ama.

Mga lalaki mahilig talaga, san ka pa may alak na may libre pang babae.  kaya ayun natutukso at nakakalimot.

[dismembered]

^^ what I don't understand sa mga 'cheated' is may reason sila to be sorry blah blah blah...

Point is they were consenting adults. For sex to happen, it is not like u just 'tripped' and it happened. It is a series of conscious decisions that lead to a ONS.

Yeah, I get your point sis. Pero kahit ano mangyari, minsan sh*t happens talaga. Everyone deserves a second chance provided na syempre gagawin nya ang lahat to earn it. Kung hindi, ay naku sa sitwasyon ngayon, baka dagsa na talaga ang hiwalayan ng mga magasawa. Anyway, may gusto ako i-share para marealized nyo din ang observation ko about cheating....

Minsan may mga jokes mga lalake na what-if scenarios. Halimbawa "Naiwan si ganitong attractive celebrity at ikaw sa isang room. Tapos this celebrity is seducing you, ano gagawin mo? " Sa mga ganyang usapan, never pa ako nakarinig na lalake na makaka resist sya or what. I would call that "no choice" kasi andun na eh. Mistake is bound to happen kasi andun na eh. Men are animals. Kapag instinct na ang umiral, wala na magagawa. Depende na lang siguro sa sex drive kung makakapag isip pa sya sa ganung sitwasyon. Pero very low/small chance talaga makakaiwas, promise!

The problem is, kadalasan mga lalake or even girls, hindi alam yung tendency nila na mag fail to resist in that kind of situation. Unless marealized mo na "sex" is an instinct, a weakness, mahihirapan ka talaga umiwas sa mga ganyang sitwasyon. If hahayaan mo na ikaw ay maiwan inside a room with an attractive celebrity na aakitin ka, eh talagang you are bound to fail. So parang chess yan. Kung ayaw mo mag cheat at magkamali, kailangan isipin lahat ng gagawin para makaiwas sa ganung scenario. This is the problem with men. Di nila naiisip yun umpisa pa lang.

Kaya kung iisipin talaga, yung cheating, nag occur sya, bago pa mapunta sa ganung scenario. Bakit mapupunta sa isang room with an opposite sex? Unless siguro nagkaroon ng plane crash at dalawa lang sila ni attractive celebrity sa isang island na stranded, which we could say an accident, mostly yung ganun ay planned. Dun mo ma identify yung cheating talaga.

[thea_girl]

I agree madami dyan na may asawa or gf na hindi alam ang mga ginagawa ng asawa nila, kase ganun nalang sila ka confident sa sarili nila na hindi gagawin yun ng asawa nila. I know a group of men mostly professionals talaga ang nagpupunta sa mga girly bars then doing ONS, but still the father is doing his responsibilities as a dad/father to his kids. Siguro talagang men are weak and madali silang matukso, but still it hurts parin if malaman yun ng mga asawa/gf nila.

[dismembered]

So regarding sa kwento mo na the guy + attractive sexy celebrity mag isa lang sila sa room, question is GUSTO ba ni guy? Assuming walang magagalit na asawa or gf, ok lang ba?

90% chance. Provided na walang problema si lalake like impotence at pag walang sabit. I doubt na makakatanggi during that situation. Kaya nga ang problem is not if papatol or not, ang problem is, bakit napunta sa ganyang sitwasyon na halos checkmate na. Guys should know their weakness. Unless malaman nila, hindi sila iiwas sa mga ganyan na sitwasyon.

If yes ang mga sagot dyan, it just shows how babaw men can be.

Sad truth. But hey... given na yan. Even great and good men in our history fails because of sex. Kaya nga I keep on telling na pag andun na, almost no choice na. Kasi nga weak at mababaw ang lalake. The only thing they could do is run away from that kind of situation. Kahit pari pa or sinong kakilala mo na lalakeng pinalaki ng magulang na mabuti kapag andun na sa sitwasyon na yun, I don't think they could resist. Kaya iwas na lang sa sitwasyon..

[jaice28]

I wanna share my experience, pero sana don't judge me.

Sobrang hirap po ng situation ko now. Sobrang hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko.

I met this guy sa isang chat app. He's married but separated, ako din ganun. We both have kids and no longer living with our partners. When we decided to meet up, we had this "momol" thing happened. Dapat talaga SOFM yun eh, pero I have my period that time kaya hanggang ganun lang.

Hindi ako yung tipo ng babae na paiba-iba ng partner. My husband was my first and been on abstinence for I don't know how long na rin since we separated. Natutunan ko lang tong chat app na ito and dun nga, parang I go with the flow na lang sa mga trip ng mga tao dun, like steamy chats, sex topics, etc. I got opened lang with the idea of seb and since mukang ok naman siya, I decided na sa kanya ko unang gawin.

After nung first meeting, ni walang text, tawag, isang beses na chat lang, nothing else. I don't initiate din anything because I thought hanggang ganun na lang talaga. But then after 2 weeks, he contacted me again and asked if I am free to go out. So we met again and did it. It was 2 weeks after so I think that week is my fertile period. Wala akong period tracker or anything kasi nga zero naman ang sex life ko. I don't care if madelay ako or what, pero I think the past months were regular cycle for me.

Stupidity at it's best, I know. We had it unprotected. So ayun. So I told him na hindi ako safe and he said na uminom na lang daw ako ng emergency pill. I had to research about it pa, kung ano bibilhin, san bibilhin, and kung papano. In short uminom nga ako and with prayers na hindi naman sana ako napuruhan.

My due date came, and still walang period na dumating. 1 week delayed and tested, it was +. I really don't know what to do. First thing comes to mind was abortion. Hindi ko kasi alam kung papano ko sasabihin sa anak ko, sa asawa ko, sa family namin, sa lahat. I was vocal to everyone na hiwalay na kami kasi may babae siya tapos eto pala ako mabubuntis sa ibang lalaki, through ONS pa!. I really don't know what to do. Ayoko talaga ito matuloy but I am not sure if I can do it (ipa-abort).

Then I sent a text to the guy informing him of the "problem". I did not get any reply. Mas lalo yata ako mababaliw. I know mahirap paniwalaan but wtf, sana man lang in-acknowledge nya yung text ko. Mas matatanggap ko pa if sabihin nyang hindi sya naniniwala or pagduduhan niya ako, at least masasagot ko siya. I know I can't convince him na hindi ako balahurang babae kasi sa chat lang kami nagkakilala and pumayag agad ako sa gusto nya but at least alam kong apektado siya. No reply at all is really unacceptable. I feel sad for the baby, and it strengthens the idea na mas mabuti na nga lang na wag ko na siya ituloy.

I don't know what to do mga sis (and bros). I don't need judgement here. Kasi alam ko mali nman talaga yung ginawa ko. Parang it was my first time to do it tapos ganito pa nangyari. Hindi ko alam kung san ako kukuha ng lakas ng loob eh sakaling ituloy ko ba, kakayanin ko ba? Aside sa sasabihin ng iba, kakayanin ko ba palakihih siya mag-isa? Hindi ko alam where to start.

I was advised na gawin ang procedure 2 weeks from now, habang papalapit ang araw, wala pa man, nagi-guilty na ako. Hindi ko rin kasi talaga kaya gawin yun eh. Please enlighten me, tell me what to do.

 

[shinies]

Kailangan muna ng judgement sis. Alam mo kung ano yang pinasok mo (pun intended).

Wala naman problema sa pagkakaron ng panganailangan. Wala din problema diyan sa app, SOFM, SEB... Ang problema dito eh RESPONSIBILITY. Walang proteksyon tapos aasa ka sa birth control method na hindi mo naman pala nasubukang gagana.
Ngayon na buntis ka, gusto mo din takasan ang RESPONSIBILIDAD sa kinahinatnan ng sexcapades.

Eto mga pwedeng pagpilian mo:

1. Tuloy mo isilang anak mo - lunukin mo pride mo at tanggapin mo kinahinatnan ng pagkakamali mo, subukan mo habulin yang lalaki para sa sustento (magpaternity test ka kung kailangan pero wag ka umasa), may trabaho ka ba? business? planuhin mo na pano bubuhayin anak mo kahit mag-isa ka

1.1 tuloy mo isilang anak mo at ipa-adopt mo - di uso sa Pinas pero meron naman gumagawa nito, hanap ka abroad kung wala dito

2. abortion - konsensya ang kalaban mo dito, pwede ka din makulong kung dito sa Pinas gagawin, bakit nga ba iniisip pa ito kung di mo naman pala kaya gawin? tanggalin na lang natin ito sa mga pagpipilian?

[TomHansen]

^^ Sorry sa nangyari sayo and sana maging lesson na ito mula ngayon. Right now ang first thing na dapat mong gawin is to stop blaming yourself, harapin mo na yung problema at itigil na yung "sana ginawa ko ito", "dapat pala nagcondom kami.." etc. Clear your mind sa pagsisisi and start laying your options.

Yung reaksyon ng nakabuntis sayo is somehow normal na dito sa pinas, tumatakbo sa responsibilidad, nagtatago. If you have other means of communication sa kanya or sa family niya mas maganda. I'm sure he's also in shock right now kaya ayaw sumagot(*censored*) pero mas mabuti pa rin na may line kayo sa isat-isa kahit thru family niya. Stalk mo sa trabaho o kaya parents niya hanggang sa matunton mo yung bahay. Pareho kayong nagkamali kaya dapat pareho kayong mamroblema just in case ituloy mo pagbubuntis.

Pagisipan mong mabuti yang abortion sis kawawa yung bata. Mabilis na solusyon yan pero hindi mo alam kung ano magiging epekto niyan sa iyo pagtagal.. wag mong isipin ang sasabihin ng ibang tao kapag nalamang buntis ka ang isipin mo ang sasabihin ng sarili mo sa iyo once magpa-abort ka..

Be strong..

[Girltalker2]

TS, what is momol and sofm? Seb?

Sa tingin ko, just come clean. Don't go for abortion. Kawawa ang bata. Your guilt can kill you. Di ka matatahimik habang buhay. Lastly, since illegal ang abortion sa pinas, Hindi maayos ang facilities for abortion. Puede mo pa iyan ikamatay. Paano ang anak/mga anak mo, ok lang iwan mo sila so they can stay with your ex and his kabit?

Siguro naisip lang ni God na it's time for you to learn a new lesson in life. Kaya binigay nya sayo. A baby is always a blessing, huwag mo na isipin yung sperm donor. Uso naman iyan sa pinas na tinatakasan. Tsaka mga nabubuntis ng walang tatay. Panindigan mo nalang and make it the last.

Since andyan na iyan, pray ka nalang and just DO THE RIGHT THING. Hindi yun tuwing may problema, tatakbuhan mo nalang.

Just learn from your mistake, move on and rebuild your life. I'm sure di mo makakalimutan itong experience na ito.  In the future, Hindi purkit baboy ang asawa mo, eh you will also do the same and stoop at his level. Tsaka be very discerning. Don't get involved with just any guy. Di ka nakipag hiwalay or nangulila ang anak/mga anak mo for you to meet another *sshole. kelangan if May new guy sa life mo, he should be an upgrade from your ex.

[jtansanco]

@jaice28 - If I were in your shoes, I'll abort the child. But like Girltalker2 said, there's no proper facilities in the PH to do it and it's technically illegal. Sure, there's talk about God and moral values (I respect other posters' opinions) but do you really want the kid to grow up without a dad? Are you able to financially support a child you never wanted in the first place? Sooner or later, the kid will find out that he/she was a "mistake" and that could play a role on him/her growing up. Plus, bullying in school. There are so many factors you have to consider. You don't have to act like a martyr. The problem I see nowadays is that once someone has a child, they give everything they've got to their child and sacrifice their personal happiness. Do what's good for yourself and then think of others.

[dismembered]

Sis be strong. Nalulungkot ako sa nangyari. You know naman kung ano ang tamang gawin. Kawawa naman yung buhay na walang kamuang muang if sya yung madadamay. Regardless, kahit anong gawin nung ama, responsibility mo pa din sya. Lahat tayo nagkakamali, lahat tayo may mahihirap na pagdadaanan. Andun na yun eh. Pero what really matters is we stand and take responsibility of our actions. Mas magiging mali ang mali na hindi natin pananagutan while we can do something naman to correct the wrong we have done. Be strong po.

[mysterioza_me]

TS, what is momol and sofm? Seb?

Momol-makeout makeout lang
Sofm- sex on first meeting (?)
Seb- sex eyeball

Kung ako ang guy di rin siguro ako magre-
reply. I mean ONS lang yun so it doesn't mean anything sa akin. Que mabuntis ka or hindi basta ako sex lang habol ko. Saka bakit pa ako magrereply? Anong sasabihin ko? ONS nga lang gusto ko para no strings attached e tapos bibigyan ako ng responsibility. NO WAY.

Sorry girl but its all your fault, don't blame the guy for being BS. Bakit kasi nagpauto ka na iputok niya sa loob at magmorning pill ka na lang? Pero nandiyan na yan e, nangyari na so kung ano man maging desisyon mo sa baby mo pag-isipan mo mabuti. Once magdecide ka final na yun. Kung ipaabort mo remember that it is not something you can take back once na magsisi ka. Kung mapagdesisyunan mo to keep the baby at kahihiyan iniisip mo, well magbingi-bingihan ka na lang at bulag. You don't need to explain yourself to anyone. Maski kung paano nabuo ang baby mo.

[amethyst028]

question sa mga guys here, what is the rule with one night stand? hindi ba dapat maging responsible on  both sides? like bring a condom or mag withdrawal for men and sa women naman bring a condom too just in case walang dala si guy or insist na withdrawal dapat?

there is always a risk of getting a girl pregnant after a ONS and yet some people are still not responsible enough. why is it so hard to be careful? this goes for both sexes.

@jaice28 it's up to you to decide if you want to abort it or continue with your pregnancy. that's your life and nobody will live it for you. kung sa tingin mo kaya ng konsensya mo go ahead abort it. ikaw lang naman makakapag sabi kung anong tama para sa iyo. religious ka ba? if you fear God and believe that you will be judge in Heaven then you might want to re think your actions. Goodluck!

[mysterioza_me]

hindi ba dapat maging responsible on  both sides? like bring a condom or mag withdrawal for men and sa women naman bring a condom too just in case walang dala si guy or insist na withdrawal dapat?.l

Yes they should be both responsible its just that mas malaki ang responsibility ng girls since tayo ang nagbubuntis. Maski nga withdrawal since ONS lang kayo is a NO-NO kasi what if di niya i-withdraw?! Yari ka ng babae ka kung fertile ka. Saka what if maysakit?!

there is always a risk of getting a girl pregnant after a ONS and yet some people are still not responsible enough. why is it so hard to be careful? this goes for both sexes.

Its hard sis kasi mas masarap talaga ang skin to skin contact kesa may condom 😁. There are other methods available like IUD, implant, injectibles etc but you know the side effects are terrible.

[TomHansen]

^^ condom dapat responsibility ng lalaki yan pero advisable pa rin kung may baon din ang girl lalo kung kilala niya naman sarili niya - nagkalat naman drugstores at convenient stores. Di effective withdrawal because malaki pa ring chance mabuntis ang girl plus hindi lang pregnancy ang iniiwasan kung hindi sakit na rin. No condom no sex dapat sa just to be safe.