I think i have a different father

[foxygirl_0215]

Hi all, i opened this thread to seek help on how to ask my mother to tell me who my real father is....

5 kami magkakapatid ang I'm the eldest.
Samin magkakapatid ako lang ang maputi. Lahat sila kayumanggi. I look caucasian. And I hate this because lagi akong napagkamalang amerikano. When I was young, di pumapasok sa isip ko tanungin mom ko but now na matanda na ako (i have kids na rin), gusto ko malaman ang totoo (my so called dad passed away na 9 years ago).


One time I tried to ask my mom, she said " baket tinrato kaba ng iba ni papa mo!" And she walked away...

That's a big sign right?

[young_maiden]

Sis, for your own peace of mind, try mo magpa-DNA test. Mahal siya pero dyan mo malalaman kung anak ka ba ng dad mo. Pwede ka kumuha ng DNA samples from your siblings dahil patay na dad mo. Pwede din sa paternal grandparents mo. Good luck.

[pinklilac]

TS wala ka bang  kamag anak na meztiso ang feature?
Ang nanay ko kase may first cousin  na kung tawagin "tisay" dahil nga may pagka mestisa. Marami silang magkakapatid pero siya lang din ang "iba ".
At nakuha nya yung feature sa lolo nila na  tisoy din.

[j.adore]

After all these years, why only now you want to confirm the truth? Did something happen?
Ano yung maging benefit sa inyo?

Maybe try a different approach with your mom. Medyo iffy yung going behind her back unless magka away kayo or something?

[foxygirl_0215]

May resemblance naman ako sa mga kapatid ko but i am really different. Siguro ngayon ko lang gusto malaman kasi ngayon lang ako nagkalakas loob. I have this inner feeling of incompleteness..

[foxygirl_0215]

Our family is kinda dysfunctional too. My mom is my father's querida before.may pamilya na siya when het met my mom... I have this gutfeel that I was my mom's lovechild from another man. Perhaps a foreigner and I was owned nalang by my so called father. My birth certificate was filed late. I'm 8 yo na when it was filed.

[TomHansen]

Try writing your mom a letter foxygirl, since mukhang kapag nagtatanong ka verbally tinatakbuhan ka niya or iniiwasang humaba ang usapan kaya di mo nasasabi yung mga nararamdaman mo. Isulat mo lahat ng isinulat mo dito para maramdaman niya rin yung incompleteness mo. Tell her na whatever happens, ano man ang malaman mo  walang magbabago sa pagtingin/pagtrato mo sa kanila and especially sa late papa mo. Assure her that everything will be the same and you just want to know the truth for your peace of mind. Also keep telling her sa letter that you love her and your family maaari kasi na ang worry niya is magbago ka or i-judge mo siya.. Sabihin mo rin na ano man ang sabihin niya ikaw lang ang makakaalam(unless you want to share it here pero you dont have to naman)..

Timing-an mo rin yung pagbigay ng letter ha dapat maganda mood niya. If ibibigay mo personally make sure na lumayo ka para di niya basahin sa harap mo, you need to give her time para magsink-in sa kanya yung importance ng hinihingi mo para sayo..

Goodluck!

[AnneMP]

Try getting a specimen from your father and get a DNA match. Strand of hair etcetera.

I don't think, you'll get your answer from your mother.  Since you are already able, you can do it yourself.  Just a hair strand is all it takes. 

[Girltalker2]

Why do you need to ask your mom if negative reaction sya? Perhaps it was a very traumatic experience for her. Imagine those times single moms weren't accepted and all.

Does she have close friends na kakilala mo that you can ask? Or you gave grandparents, auntie or Uncle na kaclose mo? Try asking them. Mas mura ata magtanong nalang kesa magpa DNA.

[foxygirl_0215]

Yung father na kinalakihan ko died 9 years ago na so DNA test wont work. siguro nga i can ask my mom sa "tamang panahon" Sa relatives namen I wont bother to ask since like what I said, magulo ang family since my mom was not the "real wife"....

[foxygirl_0215]

I have this feeling of emptiness kasi.. I sometimes wish sana hindi nalang nangyari sakin yung ganito.... It's soo hard to explain to people pag nakikita nila i dont look like my siblings (nor my mom) the resemblance is very minimal. I look really different...... Some even say baka im adopted.... I dont care naman if im adopted or im a lovechild.. Gusto ko lang malaman sino ba talaga ako....

[Girltalker2]

^ how about any of your family friend? Your mom's kababata, where were you born, kapit bahay? I think hiring an investigator can help as well, Kung sa ikatatahimik mo naman。