Officemate is flirting with partner, what to do?

[ninsyninsyspider]

Hello, sissies! It's me again with another concern. Actually, I totally trust my partner pero disturbing lang talaga si girl. Here's the scenario.

Girl likes someone from the office na she's spreading rumors about that guy na gay daw, but at the same time girl cries over guy because guy is courting another officemate and she heard the guy and officemate flirting with each other (malamang, nagliligawan). In short, wala talaga sa picture si girl pero pinipilit niya sumama sa picture. All these information were told to my boyfriend by the girl.

Looks like close friends lang sila but I can't help but magduda sa girl because aside that this girl clearly doesn't value relationships (hello nagpapa-cute sa gusto niyang officemate kahit may ibang nililigawan si guy), girl texts my bf on a weekend and wants to call him para mag kwento lang. And always while we're dating. I told my bf that I'm comfortable with it and please tell the girl to text him sa office phone instead sa personal.

And oh, umiyak pala si girl kay guy dahil lahat daw ng nagugustuhan niya ay nagkakagusto din sa kanya.

So back to the story, I think hindi sinabi ni bf kasi awkward nga naman to tell the girl not to text him there. But no, nasira ang Valentine's date namin dahil nag text si girl kay bf.

Girl: Busy ka? May kwento ako
Bf reads and doesn't reply
After about 2 hours (dito ko nahuli si girl)
Girl: Busy ka. Read zoned ako, kru kru ka!
Bf: Text nalang muna
Girl: I can't text, I feel dizzy. May fever ako since this afternoon.

I feel that totally wala sa lugar si girl. Mas demanding pa siya na read zoned siya? And what does "kru kru" mean? And nakakainis na hindi ba naisip ni girl na Valentines man lang? Life and death ba at nag iisang kaibigan niya bf ko na hindi maka hintay ng Monday?

There's something wrong. I feel na nagpapacute si girl kay bf. But I might be paranoid so I need your opinions.

Thanks!

[la_pinay]

totally. tell your bf to avoid that girl na.

[mimiku]

Yup she is. And girls like her are quite dangerous. If I were you, I tell my bf to block her number or never text her again. Madami na akong narinig na stories na ganyan so medyo aware na ako on how ladies flirt with guys - especially these kind of kwento. Girl would ask kuno advices on a certain guy but that is just a way for her to get close. I may sound malicious but the way you said it, she's kinda flirty and go getter. And the fact is, she really is. I don't know if this term is correct- pero if I were you, bakuran mo na BF mo. People may say, kung matino ang BF mo hindi siya papatol pero I say prevention is better than cure. Sabi nga nila talo ng malandi ang maganda. Take the necessary action.

[ninsyninsyspider]

Oh, I forgot to mention. BF can't avoid the girl because they're like partners. Same sila ng work but different accounts and so far 2 lang sila and then their boss. Another one is coming up, college friend ni BF na kakilala ko so sana umayos si girl.

Huhuhuuu this makes the situation extra hard. I let them mingle when it's work so I think reasonable pa ako sa lagay na ito

[j.adore]

Tell your partner to make their relationship strictly professional -- zero personal kwento, help, whatsoever. Doable yun. Pag gusto may paraan, pag ayaw may dahilan.

The girl is playing the damsel-in-distress card and your BF is entertaining her (text muna? so kung di kayo magksama pwede call?). Major red flag IMO if your BF doesn't learn how to set limitation, possible your worst fears can happen.

BTW, when you say partner, as in live-in partner ba ito? Nasa Married Life thread kasi

[ninsyninsyspider]

Yes, we're living together now. Well, technically kasi sa bahay namin siya nakatira and all.

[stormy_princess]

I have the same situation with you sis ninsyninsyspidr. As in the same. Ka officemate and damsel in distress din ang drama. But last night I told my husband na I'm not comfortable with that girl. He said profiling daw ako. Sabi ko my intuition never fails me pa so he better back off with that girl or else he will face me. I know it's not easy on the guy part lalo na ka offficemate nila pero for me lang we have to tell them immediately at lumugar kung saan dapat. Sabi nga ng husband ko sa akin, yung girl daw kasi na yun ang lagi nya kasama. Then I replied with: Mamili ka iwasan mo ang lagi mong kasama or tuluyan kang mawalan ng makakasama habang buhay which is kaming pamilya mo. Nanahimik sya and said okay. But of course need to monitor pa that. Be watchful sis and bakuran nga its the right term. Alam naman natin ang mga guys pag palay na lumalapit ay naku!

[ninsyninsyspider]

I love the message anhing, I'll definitely text her pag umulit pa ulit.

Hay nako stormy_princess, bakit ba hindi na maubos ang malandi sa mundo?

Boyfriend and I talked and agreed to let him handle this first. He will talk din daw to the girl because I told him na gusto ko malaman nung girl na may ginawa siyang off. He made din kwento to the guy na gusto daw nung girl, and true enough mali talaga si girl. Sabi pa nga ni guy na kaya gusto kausapin si bf kasi di pinapansin ni guy. Sabi din bf sa akin na walang gusto si girl sa kanya, but I said din na my intuition says na meron. Lalo na bigo si girl kay guy. Bobo din, sa meron girlfriend naman didikit. I told bf na feeling ko si girl, kahit sino maffall siya dahil looking siya and all. So lumayo na siya ngayon palang.

But I can't wait to see the girl, same building kami ni boyfriend (well every morning, head office nila sa building namin then office nila sa kabilang building). Tititigan ko talaga ng nakamamatay. And the nerve, hindi parin inaaccept FB friend request ko, bakit siya natatakot? Si girl din nagllike ng posts ni bf except pag kasama ako haha.

[cutemama]

Naku TS, don't trust a girl like that..follow your instinct before it's too late. I know a girl na flirt din, parang simpleng flirt, she's good in hiding secrets esp. relationships with married guys.. friend siya ni hubby and also ninang of my Son haha.. I don't know why she loves having a relationship with married guys.. simula ng makilala ko siya, 3 married men na ang nakarelasyon niya.. She's in her early 30's, single,tall , sweet , kind and sexy but she's not blessed with pretty face.

5 yrs ago, nung mag bf-gf pa lang kami ni hubby, he invited me for a dinner with his friends, yun nga si girl tska yung guy friend nila na officemate din namin. all along I thought they were just friends, closed friends. The girl is known for being sweet kasi even sa guys friend niya, kaya di ko binigyan ng malisya, tska yung guy just got married 6 mos pa lang and umattend pa nga si girl sa wedding nung guy kaya di ko binigyan ng malisya, until I saw them kissed sa dinner namin.. I was shocked.. nung nag CR si girl and yung guy, I asked my hubby na ano yung nakita ko bakit sila nagkiss, sabi ni hubby ewan niya daw.yun pala may secret affair na yung dalawa, without the knowledge of the wife.. the wife knows the girl personally and akala din friends lang kasi nga hindi kagandahan si girl mas maganda pa si wife kaya di ka matatakot na papatulan ng hubby niya.

sa office namin, kalat na kalat na yung affair nila kasi they were open na, the guy's wife kasi hindi namin officemate she's a pharmacist kaya wala siyang alam.. one time nga, my friend saw the three of them riding in a train, chit-chatting and laughing with each other,... sabi ng friend ko OMG kawawa yung wife di niya alam inaahas na siya nung girl.

tapos one time nung B-day ni boy, hubby and their circle of friends together with the kabitch went to the boy's house kasi may handaan and inuman.. that time the wife has work pa and late na umuwi, mga gabi na..
so during the time the wife was away, feeling wife si kabitch. and nung dumating na si wife, she had no choice but to avoid being close to the boy..
it's the wife's turn na, and sobrang nahurt ata si kabitch seeing the boy and the wife na super sweet, so she texted the boy something like 'i love u and I miss you" pero boom, si wife ang nakabasa.. siguro kampante si boy na hindi si kabitch ang nagtext kasi nga magkasama naman sila.

then bigla na lang daw umalis si wife and boy papuntang room, parang nagtatalo..my hubby and their friends were puzzled, kung ano nangyayari, then the kabitch admitted na nagtext siya sa boy and nabasa ata nung wife.. so they decided to leave.

then after the incident, hindi na pumasok si boy sa office, sayang nga kasi ang taas ng position ni boy pareho sila ni kabitch..malaki sahod nila.. yung pala pinapili ng asawa kung siya or kabith and natakot si boy kasi mga police and soldiers yung kapatid ni wife, so ayun umuwi na lang sila ng province at dun na lang tumira.

[ninsyninsyspider]

Yun pa nga ang mas mahirap, and as one of of sissies mentioned here "daig ng malandi ang maganda". Malandi lang si girl, I think naman mas maganda ako kay girl (I'm so tempted to show you how she looks) and bf and I have been extra flirty with each other since we fought. Kung siya malandi, papakita ko sa kanya na ako malandi at maganda. Bukas kukunin ko yung number nung girl para ready ako anytime haha.

[cutemama]

yes sis kunin mo yung phone just in case diba.. tska baka palitan name nung girl ng name ng guy, atleast makikita mo if si girl talaga yun..

i suggest sis,  bumisita ka sa workplace ng bf mo, and be extra sweet kay bf sa harap ni girl.. just to see how would she react. tska para maipamukha mo sa kanya na taken na ang guy na nilalandi niya.

[ninsyninsyspider]

Hindi kasi ako mabisita sa workplace and ang liit ng office nila and walang cubicles, parang computer shop lang and medyo masikip mag flirt haha. But I did kiss my boyfriend sa lips in front of the girl nung nagka salubong kami sa mall (may team lunch kasi sila, see cool lang ako haha). Nag comment si girl about sa bandaid sa ulo ko kay boyfriend, because I just came from a car accident nun. Parang ako, wow highlight mo pa.

[izabelle]

For me, it is your partner who needs to make a big effort para tumigil ang officemate nya. Wala kasi tayong magagawa sa pwedeng ikilos ng ibang tao. Kahit saan workplace may ganyan at kahit mag resign man sya or lumipat no assurance na wala ng babaeng malandi katulad nyan. haha!

So at the end of the day, it is your bf who needs to literally make this girl feel na hindi tama ginagawa nya.

nakakairita yung mga ganyan babae sa totoo lang pero still wala tayong control.

ika nga, kahit ano itext mo dyan, kahit ano ipakita mo, kung lalandi yan, lalandi pa din. Haha

may mga tao na sadyang makapal ang mukha.

Nasa partner mo na talaga yan.

[budzwhiz]

Parang mejo alarming yung convo nila sis.
Tama ka, ang demanding ni girl. "BUSY KA. READ ZONED AKO." Ano naman kung busy sya, sino ka ba? Bat ka galit?
And your boyfriend naman, "TEXT MUNA". This implies, na kapag pala di sya busy, like hindi kayo magkasama, magkatawagan sila ganun?
Saka ang kapal lang ha, Valentines pa talaga gusto makipag chismisan. Uh, di ba obvious. Masyado na ata syang komportable sa partner mo sis. Or rather, silang dalawa sa isa't isa. Parang masyado nang close, nakaka-bother.

[ninsyninsyspider]

This is why I love GT. I get a whole lot of point of views, hindi ako nagiging paranoid na baka guni guni ko lang ang lahat

In fairness to boyfriend, kakausapin daw niya si girl. Leave lang kahapon, ewan ko lang ngayon. Nag usap din kami na he has to keep a distance from now on, wag siya magpaka close sa babae. Yung "text lang muna" message, in fairness din to him he replied that to the girl in front of me. Mabait din kasi boyfriend ko, masyadong mabait lalo na sa friends.

Pero mahirap kalaban tong girl, dun nga sa isa may nililigawan na, iiyak iyak parin. Kapit tuko!! That's why I explained din to bf na may tendency yan idivert yung attention sa kanya.

Well at least for now, confirmed na lumalandi si girl. Matakot na siya if magkita kami.

[px17]

sis sabi mo diba sa harap mo nagreply si bf? kung sitwasyon ko kasi yan sasabihin ko sa bf ko "text nalang MUNA? bakit hindi mo ireply Oo, busy ako kasi kadate ko gf ko!"

Pag unang beses kasing nakapuna ako ng bago kay bf, sinasabi ko kagad. At pag second time ganun parin nako warla na kami. Ayaw ko kasing napaparanoid at nagiisip ng kung ano ano, msyado kasi malawak imagination ko kaya nakakastress.haha

Para sakin naman papansin si girl sa bf mo sis! Desperada lang magka love life? Alam na nga niyang may gf kung makatext demanding. Kausapin mo na si bf sis, pag naman napansin na ni girl na may limitation na si bf mo titigil din yan. Hindi naman kasi mapupunta sa landian ang dalawang tao kung isa sa kanila ayaw eh.

[izabelle]

I agree, It always takes two to tango. Walang magiging resulta ang paglalandi kung isa lang ang gumagawa ng move.

My rule ever since, if someone e nagiging cause ng away namin or hindi comfortable ang asawa ko sa tao na yun, lalayuan ko talaga and i will be very honest don sa tao na huwag nya ako itetext, tatawagan unless work related talaga. Hindi din ako mahihiya, mas importante sa akin ang relationship namin ng asawa ko kesa office mate.

[ninsyninsyspider]

Si girl kasi ang attack niya kay bf is mala confidante sa frustrations niya sa isa pa nilang officemate na type ni girl. Sus, luma na style niya. Kaya si bf nakikinig din sa kwento, plus 3 lang sila sa team, boss pa nila yung isa.

Knowing din my bf, nag panic din siya nung nag iba na mood ko and asked for his phone so nag reply ng ganun. Magkasama kami almost all the time, pag umuuwi naman siya sa kanila updated din ako sa lahat, sure ako di nakakalusot ng tawag si girl. Text, maybe yes pero not calls.

I feel naman na kahit papano umiiwas na si bf, minsan nagguilty ako kasi I feel na baka naman loner na siya sa office nila. Like today, nag invite yung isang officemate ng lunch sa bahay, nilambing ko na wag na siya sumama. Gets naman niya na hindi ako comfortable na kasama pa niya yung malandi. Pag di madaan sa lambing, away to for sure heehee. Sabi niya sabihan daw niya yung nag invite.

[khaleesiCersei]

Di ka paranoid sis talagang lumalandi siya. Desperate girls like that will do anything to get a man quesehodang makasakit ng iba. Tell your bf to never talk to her again at pagsabihan mo din ang babaeng yan to back off hehe. Ikaw ang mag reply pag nagtext siya kay bf

[ninsyninsyspider]

^ yes sis, I'm waiting nalang na mag personal message ulit siya. Pero napagsabihan na daw si girl na panira ng date, magttext ng ganun kasi magkkwento.

I have din this off feeling kay girl even before, yun pala nagpapa cute na.