Hi guys and gals,
I just want to share the story of my childhood dream and how it is affecting my married life now.
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The Dream...
I was about 12 years old when I had a dream. In my dream I am already an adult, wearing a white dress and holding a red rose. I was standing as if I’m waiting for someone. There was a paper with my name and a man’s name written on it. His first and middle name was clearly written but the last name was hidden. Suddenly a man, also wearing white, came. His face was not shown but when he approached me, I smiled. He gave me three pink roses then held my hand. We walked away…
The Boy...
Couple of months had passed after that dream. I met a boy with a first name similar to the man in my dreams. We became close friends then suddenly, he left. His father transferred to another company and they needed to relocate to another place. He never had a chance to say goodbye to me because I was in our province for a vacation. Since I was only 12 years old that time, it was easy for me to just let him go. I just prayed that if ever that dream meant something, if that man is my soulmate, my destiny, allow us to meet again. Yes, during that time, I already believe in soulmates and destiny. Perhaps because I have two elder sisters and both of them already have boyfriends.
I had suitors when I was in highschool but because of that boy whom I thought is the man in my dreams, I turned them down. I waited for him to come back. I waited for that moment when I can finally tell him about my dream. But he didn't return.
I was already in 1st year college when my mother told me that she met his father. She told me the news that really broke my heart. The boy whom I though is the man in my dreams entered the seminary. I don't know what to feel. I know I have no right to get angry because he didn't looked for me to tell me that he wanted to be a priest. In the first place, he didn't know about my dream and my feelings for him.
Broken hearted, I didn't have the courage to talk to him but I asked my mother for his middle name. His name is the same as the man on my dreams but his middle name is not. That's when I decided to just forget about him and my dream. I still believe in soulmates and destiny but I just stopped myself from believing that my dream meant something.
My Man...
I'm happily married for almost a year now. My husband is a loving, sweet, caring, gentleman, hard-working and a God fearing person. Sounds too good to be true but that's what he really is. Of course he is not perfect and there are also some negative traits that I don't like about him.
We love to travel. Everytime there is an occasion like birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas or Valentine's Day, we find time to go out on a date, whether out of town or just around the metro. We share the same interest in terms of trying out extreme adventures like zipline, caving, hiking or any theme park rides. I enjoyed being with him.
Just like any relationship, ours have ups and downs. We even came to the point of breaking up but we decided to continue because we really love each other. We managed to keep the love alive for 7 years before we settled down. I love him so much and I don't want to lose him.
The Man on my Dreams...
And then suddenly, I met a man, with the same first and middle name as the man on my dreams...
He was just my office mate that eventually became a very close friend. Yes, just a friend. He's cute, helpful, friendly but quite moody. Since we became really close, I was able to show him the real me, the sweet and caring side of me that I usually hide to avoid intrigues and issues. On the contrary, he was cold. He haven't shown me any sign of sweetness even those friendly but sweet gestures that I'm expecting from a friend. When I asked him about his coldness, he apologized and told me his reasons behind it. According to him, he is intentionally treating all his friends coldly because his wife wants him to be like that. Yes, he is married and they already have a son.
Since I'm inlove with my husband and I know he also love his wife and son, I haven't thought that I will feel this way.
We've been close friends for years until he posted something on Facebook that revealed his middle name. He has the same first and middle name as the man on my dreams. When I saw his post, the dream, the feeling, the fear and the irregular beating of my heart returned.
Everything between us changed, he noticed and questioned me about it. I told him about it. I told him that it's really hard to just ignore it because I prayed for that name for a very long time. I told him that I love my husband and I know that he loves his wife and son. I told him to just allow me to get over that dream even if it meant avoiding him. It's hard to just ignore him. Everytime I see him, heard his voice or even see him online, my heart beats so fast, the dream flashes back.
I eventually had the courage to talk to him and pretended that everything was back to normal. But deep inside, the fear, the what ifs and the irregular beating of my heart remained.
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I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to fall in love with him just because of that dream. But it's so hard to just ignore it because I prayed for that name for a very long time. I'm sure that I love my husband but why does my heart also beats for my friend? I don't want to destroy our friendship and most specially, I don't want to cheat and to lose my husband.
If only it's easy as waking up...
