Work or Family???

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

just to share, i've read somewhere na in some cultures, masama tingin sa working moms - tipong pagkatapos panganak iiwan lang. in other cultures naman, masama tingin sa jobless moms kasi di nagcocontribute sa economy (walang tax na nakokolekta sakanya, the likes).

so parang wala din talagang perfect choice, just the right one for you and your family.

ako i am working because we need the money to live somewhat comfortably. kung yung asawa ko lang, gipit talaga, no room for future financial plans. am I happy leaving my daughter to a yaya? of course not. pero just the thought na nakadepende kami sa asawa ko scares me already kasi what if something happens to his work or to him.

so compromise na lang. sa office namin na everyday ang OT ng mga tao ako lang ang umaalis ng alas kwatro impunto. tapos weekends are really for family (and the inevitable household chores).

[naizlabonita]

Most of us work for our family, everything that we do is for our family. Unless, independent ka talaga at hindi mo sinosuportahan ang family only yourself.

Pinag usapan na din namen ni  partner to lalo lumalaki si baby and need na matutukan ng husto. Tinanong ko siya kung kaya na ba namen na siya lang ang mag wowork..kasi kung kaya naman..I am very much willing to stay in the house and look after our son. Pede din naman akong mag home based..pero sa ngayon hindi talaga kaya.. kaya dalawa pa din kame nagwowork and he also said na ayaw nya masayang yung career ko since okay yung current position ko sa company.

So I think, nasa sa couple talaga yan or your decision talaga kung kaya mo suportahan ang pamilya mo kahit na hindi ka fulltime nagwowork why not.

[Girltalker2]

But she did all she can, to bring me with her. Dun ko sya sobrang na-appreciate. Usually, all her workmates will tell her, "Bakit mo pa isasama ang anak mo sa ibang lugar, idadamay mo lang sya sa lungkot mo dun" or "Huwag mo na sya isama, mai-interrupt lang ang pag-aaral nya", but she silenced them, and all our cost of living sinagot ng company nya.

Bakit kaya mga tao they would comment lagi on the practical side and not look through the how the parent can have BOTH.

When I went abroad, I heard exactly the same words. But I don't have the heart to leave my kids to my philandering Husband. San naman ako pupulutin if I just stay home and wait for him to bring the bacon? I was in a big dilemma - will i take the plunge just work and be with my kids. Through God's grace, mga sis, it is doable. I stick to my work and being with my kids - BOTH And I have no regrets.

Especially for a single parent, or if your spouse is babaero/potential strayer, di maasahan... make your kids AND work your priority. Never ever resign!

Nasama nya na ako twice in different places and I am happy, I don't think hindi magiging same ang outlook ko ngayon sa buhay if di nya ako sinama. She rose above her situation not because she wants to have the best of both worlds, it is because she has to. She needs to fill the role of being a mother and the same time being a father. And I deeply respect her for that. But I am not saying na perfect sya, she is not. In fact, we had a lot of disagreements. Itlog lang everday ang naluluto nya sakin dahil busy sya. Pero those minor things will not matter. Dahil I saw her all efforts to protect me, keep me safe, nurture me, discipline me, teach me all life lessons, provide for me all at the same time. On the defining moments like graduation, engagement etc, she was there. She was willing to drop anything for me, if she has to, time and time again, she showed that to me. And to be honest, I don't feel incomplete because her love was big enough and to be honest, sobra pa... I learned to extend it to others na salat sa love.

Maybe what I am trying to say is, I know it is stressful to have a tremendous responsibility of taking care a child. But, children like me, pag nag-mature sila, mauunawaan nila ang lahat and kung naging mabuti silang tao sa kalaunan, makikita nila ang sacrifices ng parents nila. Just keep the balance and let them know you love them. Also a lot of prayer, this is the most important thing. My mom prays for me always, and she tells me to pray as well, every single time she send me a text message. It s just simple, but those simple things matter.

Thanks sis, sobrang relate ako as the Mom and I hope some day my kids can appreciate me. Kasi there are times during their 10-12year old days, sobra akong busy and laki sila sa Yaya. Until I lost my job and I gave up my helper. Now that I have a job again, I decided they should help around the house. So it is not easy since minsan madali uminit ulo ko if I see their kalat in their rooms.

Minsan na-g-guilty din ako for isolating them from our relatives, their father by going abroad. Feeling ko naman their future is here while I can raise them up without any worries on keeping us away from criminals, screwed up laws, etc. Call it exag, pero when we were in Manila, lagi ko worry ang traffic, pag hatid/sundo sa kanila sa school, naka lock ba lagi mga pinto before sleeping. Pag may offenses against us (ie petty theft), palampasin nalang kasi alam ko wala din. Naman magagawa.  Those Things have prevented me from separating from my ex. Iniisip ko palang iyan, drained nako, how I can work pa. kaya I thought, better punta na kami in a safer country where I have work naman. Malayo na sa ex ko, safer away from him.

Yes, physically nakaka pagod  but emotionally and mentally, even spiritually - sobrang liberating Yung peace of mind if you can take care of your kids and can provide for them on your own.

[superpinklemonade]

Personally (well, hubby and I share the same views) - when the kids are super young, like under 5 years old - the main job of the mom is to take care of the kids. Shempre formative years yon and we don't want to leave our kids with other people. So now that our youngest is 2, I work from home. When she starts going to (proper long day) school, I will decide if I want to continue working from home (hopefully business blooms!) or go back to work in an office. There are days when I struggle and think going to work is the easier option - but hubby reminds me the kids are only young for a short time (5 years) and then they have their own schedule, own social life, etc. So I try to enjoy family life. Again, it's a personal (or joint with hubby) decision because it involves a lot of effort, time and moolah.