Ayaw sa akin ng parents :(

[VainDoll]

2yrs and 8months. Down the drain.

After christmas naging cold siya. He would still text me all day but without I love you, and our tawagan babe. So, naconfused ako. I confronted him sa text lang. Di siya rereply. The next day parang walang nangyare. Last night we had a chance to meet up. Kasama ko family ko nagcheck in kami. Nagulat mom ko dumating siya ang sabi pa "ikaw ha tagal mo nawala"

Nung gabi na, he open up na. He was teary eyed and hugging me. Di ko daw kasalanan etc. akala ko nakabuntis siya. Yun pala, pinapapili siya me or his family.

well off sila ng slight. May fam business sila. Only child siya.

Ako, single mom.

His open up that his dad would always nag him na pinagaaral daw nya anak ko and etc na sa akin napupunta pera niya. Na pinagbawalan daw sya magkita kami nung holidays. Dumating kasi mga kamag anak nya from abroad.

Jusko, walang konti kusing akong hinihingi ako sakanya for my child even sa akin. When we went out i offer and even pay for our dates. May sarili akong pera. Kumikita ako. Mas malaki pa sweldo ko sakanya.

He didnt say na hindi na nya kaya yun parents nya nanggugulo but parang ganun. He wants to focus daw sa work and family business.

So, i told him. Ganun na lang yun? We broke up? He can't answer kung talagang break kami. He said he'll still be there. Na magkikita kami whenever. Samahan nya ako. Etc.

Sabi ko parang mahirap yun kasi unfair yun. Aasa ako na we will be together. .

So, sabi ko pagisipan na lang muna namin. I guess we take a break muna.

Share ko lang.

[ohcmon]

Sis, sorry ha? Pero feeling ko, 'yung sinabi niya na he'll still be there chenes, false promises na lang 'yun para hindi ka masyadong ma-hurt that he's choosing his family over you. Kasi kung totoo 'yun, eh bakit kailangan niyo pang mag break kung wala naman palang magbabago 'di ba? Hindi ka lang siguro niya madiretsa na ganun nga.

Kung hindi ka niya kayang ipaglaban, okay na rin siguro na nagbreak kayo ngayon pa lang. Isipin mo sis, kung sakali man ipaglaban ka niya, you and him against the world ang drama niyo sa pamilya niya, tapos consider din 'yung magiging treatment nila sa anak mo if ever 'di ba?

For me sis, huwag nang ipilit... I'm not a mom but I imagine I will not date someone whose family will not accept my kid. Your child deserves unconditional love from your future in laws.

Hugs!

[VainDoll]

^Thanks sis. Actually di ko na din pinipilit. Hoping for the best for me and my kid. 🙂

[quennna]

sis, kung ganon ang kinahinatnan ng relasyon nyo... tanggapin na lang.. baka di pa hinog ang relasyon nyo.. kita naman na di pa kayang tumayo mag isa ng bf mo.. di pa sya firm pagdating sa decision making.. at di mo rin maaalis sa parents.. siguro naman, ganon din ang gagawin mo kung ikaw ang magulang...

wag mong ibitin ang sarili mo, bigyan mo ng ultimatum sarili mo...  dapat black o white, take it or leave it... accept o deny, kayo pa rin o break na talaga.. dapat naririnig na its over.. que manggaling sa yo o sa kanya.. mind over matter in time magiging maayos ka rin..

[TomHansen]

VainDoll tingin mo wala bang 3rd party? Ang weird lang kasi almost 3 years na kayo tapos ngayon pa siya bibitaw? Wala ba siyang ginawa para maging close ka sa family niya? Sa almost 3 years na yun hindi niya pinakita sa family how happy he was nung kayo? Relationships shouldn't be complicated, if you love each other walang bibitaw kahit magulang pa makalaban mo. His parents had their rights to choose each other dapat siya rin meron, dapat naging firm siya, dapat ipinaglaban ka niya - hindi niya kailangang mamili dahil dapat dati pa lang alam na ng magulang niya na wala silang karapatang papiliin siya..

Unfair for you na umasa sa kanya, let go, kung hindi ka niya ipinaglaban then papaano pa siya magiging mabuting asawa? mabuting ama? - he's weak..

[three8one]

TS, pag sinabi ng bf mo na kayo pa din, mahal ka niya.antay ka lang, kumukuha lang ako ng bwelo, paniwalaan mo yun... dahil totoo yun. may mga sitwasyon lang talaga siguro sa parte niya na hindi niya basta basta pwedeng I taken for granted. nasasakripisyo yong relasyon nyo dahil alam niyang higit na sino pa man, ikaw ang mas higit na makakaunawa sa kanya.. kung wala din naman kayong hinahabol, bakit kayo magmamadali? hingi ka lang ng assurance sa bf mo na pag naghintay ka ba may mapapala ka? siguro sa mga panahon na ito talagang hindi pa kaya pangatawanan ng bf mo na sumuway sa magulang niya pero dadarating ang tamang oras na pag ready na sya worth it naman ang pag hihintay mo..unfair kung iisipin kasi ikaw pa ang maghihintay eh siya tong lalake, pero hindi na mahalaga yun sa palagay ko kasi ang pinag uusapan na dito yung magiging pang matagalan na pagsasama nyo. maliit na sakripisyo lang yun...

kung ikaw ang unang susuko, mabilis na bibigay si guy.. pero kung mag hohold on ka, sigurado hindi bibitaw si guy, basta magtiwala ka lang..

[VainDoll]

VainDoll tingin mo wala bang 3rd party? Ang weird lang kasi almost 3 years na kayo tapos ngayon pa siya bibitaw? Wala ba siyang ginawa para maging close ka sa family niya? Sa almost 3 years na yun hindi niya pinakita sa family how happy he was nung kayo? Relationships shouldn't be complicated, if you love each other walang bibitaw kahit magulang pa makalaban mo. His parents had they're rights to choose each other dapat siya rin meron, dapat naging firm siya, dapat ipinaglaban ka niya - hindi niya kailangang mamili dahil dapat dati pa lang alam na ng magulang niya na wala silang karapatang papiliin siya..

Unfair for you na umasa sa kanya, let go, kung hindi ka niya ipinaglaban then papaano pa siya magiging mabuting asawa? mabuting ama? - he's weak..

For 3 yrs hindi ako nakatungtong sa bahay nila kasi ayaw daw nila ako makilala. Akala ko nung una ayaw lang kasi siyang mag ka gf. Yun pala iba rason. Not sure re 3rd party. I was hoping he wouldnt give up. But I don't know why now? After all. Hindi pa kami nakapagusap ng maayos. Sabi ko magusap kami bago siya umuwi sa province para makapagisip isip siya. Pati na din ako.

[simang]

^ay sis, you haven't met his family in person? Ayaw daw nila ikaw makilala, or is it that he never mentioned you in the house? Did the family even know your actual existence?

[TomHansen]

VainDoll, yun nga ang malaking tanong e why now? If matagal na siyang ginaganyan ng family niya then diba dapat battle-tested na siya ngayon? "Suck my d*(& !!" ang dapat sinasagot niya sa magulang niya kapag nagsasalita sila ng nega about you.. Also kahit ayaw pa ng family niya sana pinilit niya pa rin, dinala ka sana sa kanila para makilala ka iba kasi kapag nakita ka na ng personal mas makikilala ka ng parents - dapat nga pinakilala ka nung pasko. Sana nga makapag-usap kayo ng maayos hindi para malaman mo ang gusto niya kung hindi malaman niya ang gusto mo. Kapag hindi siya pumayag or umiwas siyang makipag-usap then i guess you know what to do na. Life's is too short para spend mo sa ganitong drama vaindoll, hindi ito teleserye, hindi ito "after x years" magkikita ulit kayo, walang time skip kada minuto mahalaga kaya wag kang papayag na paghihintayin ka. Live your life to the fullest nandyan man siya or wala.

[VainDoll]

^they know me DAW. Haven't met them. Yun nga ayaw daw ako makilala

[lovemeagain30]

Ayaw sayo kasi may anak ka.. liability ka imbis na asset ka sa family nila. magkakaron sila ng instant apo. Magpapa aral ang anak nila ng hindi niya kadugo at higit sa lahat, Madami pang pedeng magustuhan ang anak nila na higit pa sayo.

Kung hindi ako nagkakamali yan ang mga dahilan.. Masakit pero totoo.

Katulad mo Single mom din ako bago ko nakilala ang asawa ko. Ayaw din sakin ng pamilya. Ni imbitahan ako para kumain manlang sa labas, ayaw nila ako kasama. Hindi nila iniimik sa iilan beses nakasama ko sila sa kainan. Minsan ako nakadalaw sakanila ni tignan ng ate niya pagkatapos kong batiin ng Hi! ay hindi man lang ako nilingon. Masakit pero hindi ko tiniis yun. Ano ako sira?? Kahit mahal ko siya, mas mahal ko sarili ko!  after all walang kasiguraduhan magiging asawa ko siya. Ang pagmamahal at respeto sa sarili inuuna yan lagi kasi pag hindi nagwork ang relasyon baka sa kangkungan ako pulutin. Kaya hiniwalayan ko, alam ko worth ko eh. Bumalik naman siya at nag stay sakin. Ngayon asawa ko na siya at close na kami ng family niya. Bottomline, hindi ko hinayaan gawin ako basta basta lang ng kahit sino just because my anak ako at nakita ng family niya yun.

Yung bf mo dapat una siyang manindigan sayo, kung isa siya sa mga tao na hindi niya kayang maipaglaban sa family niya-- pedeng nagsasayang ka lang ng oras diyan. Baka makakilala ka pa ng taong mas magiging mabuting padre de pamilya sainyo ng anak mo.

[lovely_carrot]

Consider it as a blessing in disguise kasi he already informed you (indirectly) na di ka nya kayang panindigan.
He may have his own reasons for following his parents, and yes he may love you still but that love is not big enough to stand by you. There should also be no gray area in your relationship. Kung gusto ka, he should be there for you. Kung ayaw, he should let you go so you can move on with your life.  You wait and see if he'll grow some b*lls afterwards.

I am a single mom myself, mahirap talaga sa tulad natin ang makahanap ng lalaking kaya tayong panindigan from his parents, even to his friends. The usual case is sa dami ng dalaga at totoong single bakit sa may anak pa. Kung alam lang nitong mga tao na to (the judgmental kind) na hindi naman natin ginusto at pinangarap na i-raise magisa ang anak natin. More often than not, negative ang tingin sa atin imbes na hangaan for choosing to do it on our own.

That's the sad thing but surely, something/someone better will come along.

[sum.mer]

Sis I think that your bf is not ready. I experienced na din yung ayaw sakin ng parents ng guy but sa case ko kahit kung ano ano na pinaggagawa ng parents nya,my boyfriend stood his ground and fought for me. Marami excuses pag ayaw,makakagawa ng paraan pag gusto.

[junetwentythree]

Same thing happened to me. Except we were together for 5 years and actually were in talks of getting married. What set it off was when I had wanted to get married at a certain time and his parents insisted that wasn't going to be good for them (apparently conflicted with a stupid conference the dad wanted to go to). My dad wasn't doing too well at the time (he's thankfully better now) so getting married sooner was better for me. Then the parents threw this crap on my face that my ex's dad had to attend this meeting too because it was important for his career, blah blah blah. In the end, we were at an impasse and I thought my ex was going to side with me. Next morning, he came over and broke up with me, just like that. He listened to his Mommy (only child, definitely a Momma's boy) who told him to finish his studies first (he was in a Master's program at that time) before thinking about getting married. 5 long friggin' years I spent with this guy, his parents at the time were fond of me -- up until it was time to settle down. He made all sorts of excuses, including me possibly not being able to bear a child (not even sure really...but never really tried and now I don't think I'd ever want to).

Anyway, the long and the short of it... you'll be fine. You're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better off. Why be a man who doesn't have the balls to defend your love?

[VainDoll]

Thank you mga sis! 💗 Right now, hinahayaan ko na lang din muna siya magisip isip. Nagiisip din ako. Hirap pag busy sa work. Haaay

[VainDoll]

Same thing happened to me. Except we were together for 5 years and actually were in talks of getting married. What set it off was when I had wanted to get married at a certain time and his parents insisted that wasn't going to be good for them (apparently conflicted with a stupid conference the dad wanted to go to). My dad wasn't doing too well at the time (he's thankfully better now) so getting married sooner was better for me. Then the parents threw this crap on my face that my ex's dad had to attend this meeting too because it was important for his career, blah blah blah. In the end, we were at an impasse and I thought my ex was going to side with me. Next morning, he came over and broke up with me, just like that. He listened to his Mommy (only child, definitely a Momma's boy) who told him to finish his studies first (he was in a Master's program at that time) before thinking about getting married. 5 long friggin' years I spent with this guy, his parents at the time were fond of me -- up until it was time to settle down. He made all sorts of excuses, including me possibly not being able to bear a child (not even sure really...but never really tried and now I don't think I'd ever want to).

Anyway, the long and the short of it... you'll be fine. You're waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better off. Why be a man who doesn't have the balls to defend your love?

Hay sobrang sakit naman nito sis!

[junetwentythree]

^ Thanks sis. It did hurt A LOT at the time. But that was 4 years ago. I've since moved on Far far moved on actually. I am now thankful that I didn't marry such a p*ssy.

[VainDoll]

^truth!

[Girltalker2]

TS sorry to hear about your story.  Ang tagal nyo rin pala. Sana sa start palang, 1 year or less into your relationship, na tackle nyo na itong issue na ito.

[FayeP]

sis vaindoll, nakita ko lang to di ko matiis na di magcomment, wala balls BF mo period.  blessing yan, malamang kung magkatuluyan kayo eh mas matinding hirap dadanasin mo dyan...