I dont know what I want Anymore

[snix]

Hindi makahanap ng work

I'm very anxious and torn about this recently and going through a breakup too so help me out guys. I took up interior design but have failed the boards and so landed my first job at a home office. I have resigned from my work last February 2015 but did part time and freelance in different companies while looking for a job. I have been very picky and so until now wala pa rin ako regular job. Kasalanan ko rin.

I have four years of experience which I can barely call experience since lahat ng pinagawa sakin ng boss ko hindi naman related sa job ko. Taking care of her kids, doing her lectures plus she has BPD and I was constantly on the receiving end of her moodiness hence I resigned. Should have resigned sooner dahil wala naman ako natutunan but ended up working for that long since wala ako makita na job na kapalit.

As I began my search when I resigned, I keep on getting rejected sa mga companies na gusto ko because I lack the neccessary experience for that kind of job amd that company. It's really depressing and I'm losing confidence. Even tried abroad but kulang din experience ko. It's a series of rejections. I don't want to work sa call center (no offense sa mga tagacallcenter) because lalong hindi ko maeenhance yung skills na kelangan ko

There are companies willing to hire me but super baba ng pay but there's career growth, I'll learn a lot. Should I just settle for this na lang? Para kasing sinayang ko yung four years ko kung magsesettle ako sa small company. Plus I really need a job with good pay and benefits since I'm a bread winner.

Kung magsesettle naman ako for a low paying company with no benefits, how long should I stay there. I feel like tumanda ako ng walang nangyari sa career ko. Sobrang baba na ng confidence ko.  Im getting so depressed, anxious and desperate. I don't even know kung gusto ko pa ba to or because eto na lang alam kong gawin kaya wala akong choice. I don't know what I want. On top of this Im dealing with a breakuo pa. Yung kakampi ko at kausap ko sa mga ganito wala na. I feel so much like a failure. Magoobe year na mula ng nagresign ako hanggang ngayon andito p arin ako walang work. There are times I really think of suicide because of this.

[wavesplashes]

Hi Snix,

First of all, Happy New Year to you!

Girl, you sound really really frustrated with what is going on in your career, but I highly suggest that you start from scratch. Don't settle - for me that's the sole reason why everything got prolonged (e.g. The 4 year experience that even you do not consider as an experience). Aware ka eh, what's good for you and what isn't -- so what's stopping you diba?

Always trust your instincts. You are still young -- age is only a number. Tandaan mo, better to start late than never. So, wag kang susuko. If it helps, draw the career path that you dream of. Then research on ways to achieve them.

On the breakup, I bet it hurts like hell - but why don't you use it as an inspiration to move forward? Tell yourself that you prove people wrong. Know your self worth. Minsan, it's all in the mind. Don't get offended ha. Pero this battle I think is also within yourself. Kailangan ikaw mismo may confidence, tiwala, at belief na kaya mo ma-achieve ang gusto mo. wag na magpaka lonely, dami pang lalaki sa mundo, girl! labas ka din with friends para malibang. All the more na kailangan mo makahanap ng work na para makahanap ka ng bagong boylet. Haha! Kidding aside, kaya mo yan girl FOR SURE!

Sharing my favorite quote: "The world makes way for the man who knows where he is going."  chin up and good luck!!! 

[maskedriderpink]

You're not alone sis. Actually we're kind of in the same boat. 
But let's never lose hope! The best is yet to come

It's never too late to start afresh, my dear. Life is a learning process and no one is perfect. Even the most skilled ninjas miss the mark at times so don’t beat yourself up about it and just keep trying. It’s a practice and an art. Many times it’s about discovering our personal triggers and discreetly calming ourselves down before we react foolishly.

Just don't walk out on yourself, okay? So when will things get better? Some day, some how I guess. And those who stay alive, get to see that day. So let's live for that moment? 

I don't know exactly the right advice to give you. But I hope this article might help:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-huerta/why-i-left-google_b_3795140.html

[beanpipe]

Hi sis @snix, virtual hug sis.. I feel for you.. Ganon din ako for the longest time. Ayoko na talaga magBPO after working in the industry for more than 10 years. so what I did was nagaral ako ng mga skills para makapag trabaho ako sa bahay. then habang rumaraket ako e yung time na natipid ko commuting to work e binuhos ko to work on my passion. I'm slowly reaping the benefits now. Medyo ilang years nadin ako nagtatanim and it's slowly starting to pay off.

You can do it sis! Just have a clear and definite idea on where you want to go and what you want to achieve. If you work consistently to achieve that goal, you can definitely make it happen. Goodluck!

[redberry12]

I just want to know sisses if we are of the same age. Are you ladies also at the 30 stage age? I want to hug all of you. Because I feel the exact feeling. I am so lost that I already do not know what I want anymore. I am 31 and I want to have a vacation. But as a wife and a mom.. ofcourse I also have responsibilities. I do not know what to do.. I am working as an OFW and I wish to come home and just be with my son but.. I really do not know.. I want my job.. because of the salary but I want to be with my kid and husband. I cannot have both at the same time.. So mga sis.. I need your advice or maybe your unsolicitated opinion.. I do not know what I want anymore.

[bomfalleralla]

Oh my god sis! I'm so sorry to know you're feeling terrible about this. From experience, it's really never too late to turn your life around if you're willing to adjust your priorities. As someone who works in a call center, I understand your sentiment naman although I would argue na work experience is still work experience. In any case, tama yang sinabi mo na pursue career growth kahit maliit ang pay. You can live frugally in the meantime at pagbunga na yung efforts mo, e di ariba! Chin up, girl!

[naddie99]

Hi snix, I understand where you're coming from, medyo ganyan din nagiging path ko ngayon e. I'm IT pero I'm working as a freelance writer. I think what you could do is try rin muna sa small company. Wag mo isipin na parang wrong move yun, maliit man sahod pero yung knowledge na matutunan mo mas malaki which will help you go farther than what you are right now. Ako rin, currently don't know what I want. Feeling ko path ko talaga magcall center e

[rasee16]

Hello TS, first of all, are you happy sa current career mo? O nanghihinayang ka lang sa 4 years na bachelor's degree mo dun?

I would say, you need to know what is it that makes you happy, something that gives you joy. Mind you, I know several people who left their background in college for something else and they are very successful.

Don't be afraid to test the waters and take chances. Go out of your comfort zone and get to know which career path will make you happy. And lastly, never ever take your life. If there's one person that should love you, that's yourself. Good luck sis! Balitaan mo kami.

[nocturnalnerd]

SUICIDE? hell no. What you're experiencing is just part of life, sis. Try to go outside and contemplate on things muna. Don't be too hard on yourself, I suggest you just do what you love doing and show that off in social medias, try to meet new people that share the same passion, on that way lalaki ang network mo at makakahanap ka ng new opportunities, also you could build a portfolio that will show off your skill, marami namang site na nag-aaim ng ganon like behance, dribbble, deviantart, etc., kung ang available lang sayo for now is low paying jobs, kunin mo na lang muna yon, don't think about the salary muna, think about what experience you'll get, tapos if you think you've learned every skill you need from that company, go hunt for a better one. Don't lose hope sis, suicide is not the answer.