what married women think of their single girl friends

[amethyst028]

i just have a question to all our married sisters here. what do you think about your single friends? lalo na sa mga age 30's and above. do you secretly pitty them kasi single pa sila and hindi nila na-e-experience ang joys of married life? and sometimes do you envy them pag may pinagda-daanan kayong bad with your marriage?

i'm in my mid 30's and very much single with no plans of even being in a relationship. i'm just happy living my life. but sometimes i wonder what they think of me lalo na when i tell them about the guy i'm currently dating then after a few weeks different guy naman. no sex involve just plain going out. minsan kasi they would roll their eyes or their husband would refer to me na parang playgirl ako. they would say just pick someone already and get married. for me marriage is a big thing and i don't want to rush it. how about you ano masasabi niyo sa single friends niyo?

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

walang halong biro, sinasabi ko sakanila "good choice" to stay single. especially because I know they have big dreams that they want to fulfill before they get married. I'm happy that they know what they want in life and are determined to get it. I admire women who don't feel the need to conform to social pressures. On the other hand I have friends who are trying to find the right man (most of them are fat like me) and who are losing hope. Instead of telling them how or where to find jowa, sinasabi ko sakanila enjoy na lang muna nila pagkasingle at dadating na lang yun. Yung totoo, hindi naman lahat kailangan may jowa/asawa/anak. Sometimes yung pagkaseemingly carefree naman ng mga single friends ko remind me na kailangan ko din naman magrelax paminsan minsan.

you're right sis, dont rush it. train your ears na wag na lang makinig sa pagpepressure nila. yung pressure naman from other people di nawawala yan. in my case, nag1st birthday na daw baby ko dapat daw sundan na kagad  kawawa naman daw

[j.adore]

Why worry about what they think of you? Is it affecting the friendship?

I'm happy for my friends who have no issues being single. I celebrate them kasi women like that are rare.

I'm worried naman about my friends who are still single but want to get married. I try to help as much as I can.

[Missus O]

@TS - honestly? I think nobody in our group really gives a care if one of our friend's still single.  I only have one friend naman in our clique who's not married. Sanay na din sya na sya ang 5th or 7th wheel at times. Sa aming magfriefriends, we got married one after the other.Tanggap na naman nya na there might be a possibility na she might be single, but she also has a group who's mostly single din. Ang naghohold naman sa amin eh yung bond naman over sa isat isa   ang hilig namin magkita for lunch or dinner, magkwentuhan lang about sa mga bagay bagay sa mundo. And mga problems, tribulations etc etc hehe.. As long as we are happy.

Kaya don't fret. If they are really your friends then they will understand you, and they will be happy for you whatever status you are in.

[caterpillar-girl]

Generally, if my single friends are happy and content being single, then I'm happy for them. If they're unhappy and impatient,  I just pray for them and listen to their kwento.  Ganun lang naman.

Sometimes though I do wonder why some of my single friends are still single. Some of them are nice and charming and pretty, pero wala talagang mahanap. Some of them naman, they have this belief that the right guy will just magically fall onto their laps and love them for who they are. So no effort to go out, meet new people, fix themselves, etc. But I think, eh whatever. Buhay naman nila yan. Maybe they don't really want to get married or maybe they have their own standards, which they are of course entitled to. Kanya kanya naman yan.

For the record, no I don't envy my single friends. Married life may have its ups and downs, but I'm glad I'm out of the game.

[belle_v2g]

Most of my friends are in their early 30s na and if they are single, i don't see anything bad about it. They have good careers and long term relationships too. Siguro worried ako in a way na sana when they decided to have a child, ok pa. 30 is considered at risk, 35 is high risk.

[amethyst028]

^not true yan sis. ang dami kong friends na nanganak this year 35-38yrs old and mga first time moms, yung iba second child na nila. others naman are expecting. hindi naman high risk kung healthy ang lifestyle ng babae, mas lumiliit ang chance mag conceive and yung nga mas maselan ang pregnancy. i did my research on this rin and it's just a myth lang. sa mga first world countries mas late sila nagkaka anak and ok lang naman. dito lang sa atin kasi maaga talaga and old school kasi mga pag isiip lalo na parents natin.

thanks for all your inputs. i'm glad na positive naman pala tingin niyo, should i say neutral. hehe! anyway natanong ko lang kasi minsan may mga side comments sila and parang tingin nila i don't take commitment seriously. i have a child na rin so i'm not worried about my biological clock. i also don't care if i get married or not. super happy ako sa life ko and if i can stay this way forever fine by me. siguro para sa mga married people weird yun pero kasi may mga tao na hindi nila yun fate. as long as happy ka yung naman ang importante.

[mimiku]

Most of my close friends they are all single and on their 30s. No, I don't pity them, in fact I do admire them for being able to put up with the pressure of getting married and having kids. The thing is, in our circle, I was the one expected to become the matandang dalaga of the group because most of them are really extroverts while me- a self-sustaining introvert. And they are a lot gorgeous than me. But, fate happened and I'm now married and just recently gave birth to a cute baby girl. I don't wonder why they are still single nor question them about their reasons (because I've been there, done that plus I am so aware of how difficult it is to find a good man to settle down nowadays). I know them a lot and support them. As a matter of fact, they are the ones who question themselves (yes, funny) of why they still couldn't find the right guy for them. Me on the other hand, is the one trying to console and justify everything. So ayan, baliktad. hehe.

[Girltalker2]

I think it is not being single or married kaya ako naawa sa isang tao.  It is their attitude and choices they make in life that makes one pitiful.

I will give you an example. Sa single friends ko na don't mind being single but just enjoying life... Naku lagi ko sinasabi sa kanila nakakainggit sila.  Pero sa single friends ko naman na gustong gusto mag asawa pero wala pa mahanap na guy, to the point na lagi nalang paghahanap ng asawa ang topic ng conversation, nakakaumay na and they're the ones I pity as they're stuck in a life na lagi sila di masaya and they always think that getting married defines happiness. 

As for married ones, di ba mas pitiful yung married ones na niloloko ng asawa (or clueless) kesa sa isang single na happy naman?

[glamorosa_09]

Haist, na-guilty naman ako... Jinojoke ko kasi yung isang single friend ko kung meron na ba syang papa. Hindi ko na nga tatanungin yun.

What I wish for her are happiness and contentment whatever her chosen vocation in life is - marriage or single blessedness. Because as what girls have mentioned here, having a partner does not guarantee life`s happiness. Happiness depends on her, and her alone.

[RoadrunnerXCX]

my  male and female friends na single are okay naman enjoying their lives being single/annulled/widowed. nakakataka lang mas pushy pa mga guy friends ko na magpahanap ng magiging partner nila kesa dun sa mga girl friends ko. ang topic namin sa fb conversation palage e wala  ba ako maipapakilala. ako tuloy ang nai stress e si female friend naman ayaw ng reto then so be it. i see naman happy sila and not annoying at all. hindi ko naman na feel yung inggit if my marriage is on a downhill. i don't pity them as well kasi naniniwala ako they will meet the right one when the right time comes.

[dropdeadgorgeous]

ako hindi ko sila pini-pressure. mahirap kasi ng ikaw ang nagdidikta sa gusto mo para sa kanila. let them do what they want. but they should be responsible for everything. saka mas mabuti ng tamang daan ang tahakin nila, kasi nasa huli ang pagsisisi. kung minsan nga nakakatuwa sila tignan kasi ang laya laya nila. they can wear whatever they want. they can go out anytime. but at the end of the day, I still wish they are happy like me.hehhehe..I chill at home most of the time with my amazing husband ang awesome kiddo. oo pinagbabawalan ako na magsuot ng hindi appropriate sa status ko and I am okay with it. I wish happiness with them..i know it will come at the perfect time of God.

[aktib]

I'm kind of guilty about this. Well siguro sa environment ko because we are abroad and its really lonely na walang kasama dito. Second most of my single friends are fat din and desperately looking for a date, pero sobrang pihikan naman, or some are just cannot find the right guy and laging umiiyak. Sometimes I feel bad for them kasi they all want cuddles at night and simple life with their partner, but I think the right moment and right guy is not there yet. I also have a single friend, maganda and just that ayaw pa niya, nag eenjoy sya sa buhay nya. She's not bitter at all. So I'm happy for her and masarap kakwentuhan kahit about lovelife.
What I can say is, it really depends on what you truly show to your "friends". Don't be too conscious sis, the judgement will pass by after few minutes, at the end of the day, hindi na ikaw or yung pagiging single mo ang nasa isip nila, they will think of themselves na ulit.

[aquacharly]

I do not pity my single friends.  I do not judge them for staying single.  I admire them for knowing themselves, for not caving in to cultural/societal expectations. 

I have all kinds of single friends.  NBSB, virgins, sexually active, had sex once upon a time, separated, abandoned, disgrasyada,  kab1tch, lesbian, homosexual, etc etc.  All shapes, sizes & preferences.  I do not judge -- unless they are irresponsible adults.  I do not presume they are unhappy.  I assume they are, like us married women -- happy most of the time, sad at times. 

[120515]

my single friends are very happy - they live to the fullest, they enjoy their career, they strive for their goals, be it travelling, climbing the corporate ladder, being active in Church, etc. i admire them so much because of who they are and i am proud to be friends with them.

i have 4 really close friends and all 3 of them had boyfriends and got married before i did. i was nbsb til i was 29 but during that whole time i was single, i enjoyed my life - i moved to another country, i explored foreign lands, i tried out different restaurants, i watched movies even if i had to watch them alone. my 3 friends never made me feel like i was less of a person because i did not have a significant other, they were all happy for me, and this is how i treat my single friends now

[donya_dyosa]

honestly speaking...
naaawa ako sa kanila.. lalo na yung mga nagstruggle talaga makahanap ng BF..
may friend pa nga ako na kahit maanakan nalang daw siya..
yung iba kunwari masaya.. binabrag pa na single by choice .. pero ramdam ko.. desperado na talaga.
(friends ko lang naman.. knowing them)
kaya pag usapang baklaan with my single friends.. ayun ang pangasar ko.. hehe.. "ano bayan. single mom nakot lahat naunahan ko pa kayo magasawa.. sabi ko sa inyo. sa sarap lang yan." =) dinadaan ko nalang sa pangaasar pag nauungkat na bakit sila single.

however.. nung ako naman yung single noon at may friends ako na married na..
i'm like. aww. married na sya game over... and i am here partying all night.. haha

hmm. married nga ako pero unhappy. so nasa gitna lang ako.
unhappy kasi my husband works in australia.

[grrrlscout]

My best friend got married when we were 22 (30 na kami ngayon and I just got engaged), and siya pa nag encourage sakin to take my time and told me na hindi ko kailangan magmadali. Mag enjoy ako hanggang gusto ko kasi iba na talaga ang priorities pag may asawa na and iba na naman pag may anak na. I think if your friends really care about you they won't pressure you to get married or make judgements about the life you choose to lead. Kanya kanyang time naman yan, and marriage doesn't always have to be the end game. There are people who choose to be single, what do we know of their choices, di ba? I have a best friend who understands me even when sinasabi ko sa kanya na parang ayaw ko na mag-asawa or anak, never niya ko sinabihan ng mga usual na "sino mag-aalaga sayo pag tanda mo?" type of condescending comments. Depende rin siguro sa type of people who surrounds you. I'm lucky with mine.

[belle_v2g]

^not true yan sis. ang dami kong friends na nanganak this year 35-38yrs old and mga first time moms, yung iba second child na nila. others naman are expecting. hindi naman high risk kung healthy ang lifestyle ng babae, mas lumiliit ang chance mag conceive and yung nga mas maselan ang pregnancy. i did my research on this rin and it's just a myth lang. sa mga first world countries mas late sila nagkaka anak and ok lang naman. dito lang sa atin kasi maaga talaga and old school kasi mga pag isiip lalo na parents natin.

sis, i work in a health care industry in a first world country and i know several mums who gave birth at later stages and guess what effect it has on their children? so we can't really say it isn't true because it happens and i've seen it.

[Pink_Sugar]

I am surrounded by 6 single ladies (age 24-40), masaya naman sila kasi lakwatsa dito lakwatsa doon. Yung isa umaasa pa na may darating pa sa kanya, yung isa pa fubu fubu, yung isa masyado mataas tingin sa sarili at kelangan perfect na lalaki dapat, yung iba walang pake if magkaka love life pa. Ang iniisip nila sana di sila maging terminally ill pagdatig ng panahon.

[amethyst028]

@belle_v2g let's not generalize sis. case to case basis naman yan. my opinion was based on what i read about researches and studies done by doctors who specializes on that field. anyway i don't worry about that kasi may anak na ako and i don't have any plans of having children. ok na ako sa isa.

thanks sa mga nag reply. i guess it depends pa rin talaga dun sa single person kung paano siya magdala and his/her choices. respeto na lang sa isa't isa. minsan kasi yung mga married hindi sila sensitive sa feelings ng friends nila and they make remarks na nakak offend na pala. ganun din naman ang mga single.