Don't Compare Your Own Wedding

[shygirlme]

^agree sis!

[Purple_Power]

Ito pa masaklap sa naririnig ko minsan, sasabihin na mahal magpakasal sa simbahan kaya sa Civil na lang>  I mean bakit? Dahil ba sa reception yun? Bakit pa kailangan sundin kung ano ang trending na hindi naman afford? Ngayon nga may nag ooffer na Catholic Wedding without entourage which is a good thing para magfocus naman sa sacrament of marriage hindi yung puro na lang sa pabonggahan. Another frustrating here is yung puro sunod sa mga sabi sabi na kung ano dapat sa kasal.

[sensi]

usually mga sissies, we as b2b, we dont really compare our wedding or planned wedding...(since ive read almost most of us here agreeing not to compare) but the truth is, its not us naman...its them. the people around us. lets just face the fact na we cant stop how people think..kesa mas maganda pa kasal ni ganon kesa sa kasal ni ganito...dapat bonggahin mo kasal mo kasi yung kasal ni ganito super bongga talaga! ang labas non, tayo mismo nasstress sa mga comments nila.
to avoid that, just let them think what they want.if ever they advice you na maganda ganito gawin mo, and you already have your own design, just thank them for their opinion and say, but i already planned my wedding my way;) be polite parin....tayo ang ikakasal, not them. if they want,they do it for their own wedding...haha...

[corpse_bride]

Ugh the need to brag.. I have a classmate from highschool that kept on posting their European post nup on Facebook.. Once a week may bagong picture until I unfollowed him.. Baka until now nagppost pa din siya..

[Chili1113]

LOL!! My friend's SIL cant freaking get over their wedding. Its been more than a year and the girl still posts pictures of their wedding details like the floral arrangements and prenup photos like every two weeks till now! Hahahaha She tags pa her suppliers, but no one reacts anymore. Her suppliers dont even mind the posts. It really is so ridiculous. 

Another thing that annoys me are people who cant stop posting pictures of their engagement ring over and over and over again. LOL

[Purple_Power]

^Nakakasawa at nakakaumay nga yung ganyan. Yan yung sinasabi kong parang sa kasal lang umikot ang buhay nila.

Honestly ako naman pala comment rin about weddings yung nangyari na but I do it personally it can be with my hubby or with my mom. But usually as kwentuhan lang pero not in serious case na kailangan pa sabihin sa mismong nagcelebrate. Sometimes nga I informed my hubby not to tell my comment about dun sa wedding ng bestfriend niya, kasi nga napansin ko rin na maraming vacant seats ang observation ko is hindi sila nagconfirm and I even saw na they gave just 1 piece of invitation sa magbabarkada instead na individual yung invites kaya some weren't able taken that invitation seriously.

Naging pala comment and compare rin ako sa set up but now talagang inalis ko na rin sa sistemang ganun and all I want to feel now is the celebration of marriage no matter if bongga or budgeted.

[yannuh]

Ugh the need to brag.. I have a classmate from highschool that kept on posting their European post nup on Facebook.. Once a week may bagong picture until I unfollowed him.. Baka until now nagppost pa din siya..

hahaha yuhh. nakakatawa lang mga ganyang tao noh sis? hahaha

[LGV]

Every wedding is unique and beautiful. People who compare are those who were never married pa hehe sorry thats so true. I am happy to hear most of our guests/family/friends always says even until now that "our wedding is one of the happiest wedding theyve attented" meaning one of those so they still consider other weddings na masaya and syempre hindi ko naman malalaman since hindi ako kasama doon but its really music to my ears ofcourse. And I am proud kasi ang word nila talaga is masaya not maganda or whatever terms that other people are usually using.

In 2012, 2 of my husband's friends got married and 3 in 2013 bale 4 including us, nagkataon halos sabay nila naisip magpakasal, this is mixed of his HS and college friends) he's part of the entourage for all those weddings pero no one copmpared talaga as in we value each celebration and we (the girls) helped each other in improving details of the wedding etc. We even had coffee sessions para magkwntuhan for the rants and raves namin regarding sa preps. Para sakin usually ang nagcocompare talaga is yung mga inggit at insecure bukod sa mga bisita na hindi pa ikinakasal kaya ganun kadali sa kanila ikumpara mga detalyeng nakikita nila.

[Chili1113]

^True! People who have never been married tend to be more critical of weddings since they do not know how much work and money goes into planning one. My sister keeps comparing real weddings vs her imaginary dream wedding. So I just let her be because she's in that stage of her life, and I think we all went through that.

But really, Ive heard so so many people compare weddings. even within my family and my friends. I'll be honest, I myself is guilty of this!  BUT we never compare in terms of how much was spent, or how grand or simple a wedding was. We compare weddings in terms of how much fun we had, and the food!! And no one compares naman to put anyone down.

But point is, a wedding is a celebration of a blessed union. Who cares what other people think as long as you are happy? This is why I do not want to overspend for my wedding, because I know I will regret it after!!! I will be happier knowing I left a big chunk of the budget for our travels, and our home.

[LGV]

Agree with the food. It's really one thing that people will remember. The fun, it really depends how they define fun hehe! Kaya it's never advisable to invite those na hindi nyo talaga kaclose kasi baka mahirapan makarelate. This happens kasi pag may mga family members especially parent na may gustong iinvite of their choice or yung mga naghatak ng kasama.

[cornflakegirl]

wow! akala ko ako lang may ganitong thinking.. good thing madami rin palang practical brides dito!

[Purple_Power]

Kaya it's never advisable to invite those na hindi nyo talaga kaclose kasi baka mahirapan makarelate.

I totally agree with this, more so usually ang gusto lang nila reception and sila yung kadalasan na eat and run. I've seen this sa wedding ng bro ko after kain alisan agad.

Not only that ako ramdam ko kung sino sa mga kamag-anak ko na hindi naman concern sa celebration ng marriage and this is the reason why someday I don't want to invite them or ipaglalaban ko na naman ng patayan if my mom will put me much pressure. I don't want to invite insensitive people too sa mismong event pa magsasalita ng comment. Partida sa mismong celebrant or the family members. Kahit na  hindi sila nagsasalita literally the fact na nakita ko sila sa mismong event alam ko namang hindi sila masaya so why should I entertain someone else? Nagsayang lang ako ng per head. I really hate pleasing people pa man din.

[shygirlme]

May nakakarelate ba dito na minsan yung food ibibase mo sa mga bisita mo? Like kung di naman sila sanay sa mga sosyal na food?

[Purple_Power]

^For me depende kasi siempre minsan maiisip mo rin na sayang rin yung binayad mo kung hindi rin nila kakainin. For example may mga black olives yung pasta mo meron iba na makikitaan  mo na tinatabi lang niya samantalang ang mahal nun. Kadalasan ang hindi mabenta or hindi madalas inuubos o kinukuha yung mga luto na vegetables.

[shygirlme]

Naalala ko lang kasi nung bata ako kinasal yung pinsan ko sa Manila Hotel ginawa. Halos lahat ng bisita nya galing province (from North) tapos yung food small portion lang di pa ata uso buffet non eh. Naalala ko after reception madami sa kanila nag punta jollibee kasi di sila nabusog. May friend naman ako kinasal sa hotel din same din na puro taga province bisita. Sumama loob nya kasi sumama pa loob ng mga kamag anak nya na hindi masarap food eh for us nasarapan kami. Mas masarap pa daw yung sa isa nya cousin na kinasal na sa resto ginawa.

[corpse_bride]

^ merong friend si fiancé na ganyan yung nangyari. Yung side ng bride weren't used to sit down dinners daw. Madami daw nagcomplain na di nabusog. Maybe this is me comparing but I don't want the same to be said for our wedding. Especially most of our guests are used to having Chinese Lauriats during weddings or any occasion for that matter. Although I'm not one to scrimp on food naman din. I could let go of the other wants as long as busog ang mga guests. Yes, it's our much awaited day but at the same time we owe it to them that they've graces our special day. And like us, "intimate" wedding lang, talagang everyone invited means that we want them there.

One thing that annoys me is when friends try to compare our wedding to my debut lightyears ago. We're paying for our wedding kasi so budgeted talaga. Because of budget constraints, I tend to get stressed easily. So when friends ask me how's the planning going sympre honest answer ako. These are close friends naman so I thought they'll be mindful & sensitive with what they'll say. Kaso hindi pala. Lahat sila (not madami naman. Like 5 or 7?) said na bakit daw hindi ko hingin sa mom ko. I'm like hellooo kaya nga magpapakasal diba? For mature roles. Tapos yun pa ang gagawin ko.

And it's true nga what one of our sisters here said, na usually it's the single friends who's inggit & imposing high expectations. I have that one friend who always refers to my debut. We're on our early 30s na ha so imagine gaano niya na-absorb ang detalye ng debut ko. Hays.

[Purple_Power]

^Naman hindi talaga dapat compare ang debut sa wedding. Mas maiintindihan ko pa nga ang debut na maging pabonggahan saka maging more production kasi hindi naman kailangan maging sacrament ang legal age mo ano. Celebration lang yan ng pagiging matured na dalaga yet tradition lang naman yang debut. Hindi naman requirement na lahat ng mga babae kailangan ng bonggang 18th celebration at lalong hindi kailan man magiging prerequisite sa wedding. Kung ako nga mas bobonggahan ko rin na di hamak ang debut o kung may pagkakataon mas pagkakagastusan rather than the wedding na gusto ko magfocus lang talaga sa celebration of marriage.

[shygirlme]

Naku naalala ko pala may friend kami kinasal sa Fernbrook. Sabi ng isa namin friend bakit di kami don nagpakasal. Wala daw ba kami budget nagkatinginan kami ng husband ko. In the end yun kinasal na friend namin sa fernbrook until now nagbabayad pa din ng utang plus may baby na sila so imagine nalang yung hirap nila pagbabayad plus baby expenses.

[Purple_Power]

^Kita mo yan? very offensive comment pa yung ibabanat bigla sayo na wala ba kayong budget? So kailangan ba kapag kasal gumastos ng bonggang bongga? Saka may mga utang pala sila? Tapos naglakas loob silang magpakasal sa ganung venue? Saka dito mo talaga makikita yung payabangan system pagdating sa kasal. It is not that I am judging ha pero minsan kasi dahil masyado silang apektado sa pataasan ng ihi ng mga kamag-anak o nasa paligid nila doon umiikot yung mundo nila hanggang sa kailangan nilang gumastos ng malaki at worst case umutang pa para lang makalamang sila sa kapwa.

[shygirlme]

^naku sinabi mo pa. Kaya proud kami ng husband ko. Hindi kami nangutang sa kasal namin. Naka budget at hindi na kami nahirapan kasi may ipon kami. Lagi ko sinasabi at least wala kami utang. I hate utang talaga.