Am I just so sensitive?

[yannuh]

Sorry for being so mababaw pero i just had to share this sissies. Sobrang sad lang talaga ako last night and until now. So i cooked hilabos na hipon for my husband, dinner namin. Yes hilabos lang sya. So effortless sya lutuin. After our dinner, hubby told me that he did not like our ulam. Wala daw lasa and all. Sobrang nahurt talaga ako. Siguro the way he delivered, yun yung mas nagpahurt sken.

DI AKO MARUNONG MAGLUTO. Alam naman nya yun when he asked me to marry him. I am trying really hard here sissies. I know it's our responsibility to cook for the family, do the household chores and all. Pero tao lang din naman ako. Napapagod ako. And nagwowork din naman ako so imbes na ipahinga ko, gagawin ko pa yun. Not that I am complaining pero kasi gusto ko sya pagsilbihan. Gusto ko sya iplease.

Pinag-usapan namin before we went to bed last night. Pero I just cried. And yes sinabi ko naman sa kanya why I am sad.

He'll be away for a 2day training again. So Friday na kami magkikita. Kanina bago ko pumasok sa office, kiniss nya ko pero sad pa din ako. And I am still hurting

[red_yesha]

Natural lang naman malungkot syempre kasi hindi nya nagustuhan yung niluto mo.Gawin mong inspirasyon yan. Gusto mo sya iplease diba? magpractice ka lang ng magpractice sis. Pwede kang manuod sa youtube o kaya bili ka ng recipe book, actually madaming paraan kelangan lang motivated ka Goodluck!

[yannuh]

^thank you sis for the kind words:) All i'm waiting is for him to say SORRY kasi nahurt nya ko pero wala. Kagabi he just hugged me and said ang sensitive mo naman pero wala man lang sorry. sabi ko i won't cook for him again. haiii :| siguro nga sis more practice. haiii

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

mahirap talaga magluto sis, buti nga you tried. you can buy ulam naman sa labas tapos yun na lang kainin ninyo. but if you'll really pursue cooking, practice ka na lang pagweekends kasi mahirap yung combination na hindi ka marunong magluto+kulang ka pa sa oras.

[barbillie]

^ Okay lang yan sis! Syempre ang tendency natin, ineexpect natin ang mga husbands natin na ma-appreciate un "effort" nung ipinagluto natin sila. Pero bottomline, it's still the "taste". You're cooking the food he'll put inside his mouth. So di ba dapat, it should be a good food? Although your husband failed to voice out his appreciation on your efforts, I'm sure he's happy that you're trying to cook for him.

So make this as your inspiration to cook better. Ikaw sa sarili mo, dapat ang mindsetting eh, you'll cook good food, hindi pwede yung okay lang. You said you wanted to please him, so practice lang. Hindi naman magaling lahat magluto sa umpisa. Kahit yung magagaling magluto, kelangan mag-adjust sa panlasa ng husband nila.

I know how to cook, but I still adjust kung anong magugustuhan ng husband ko. Lalo na magaling magluto yung MIL ko. But my husband always tell me, lutuin mo sya sa panlasa mo. Darating daw yung panahon na yung cooking style ko ang magiging comfort food nya. So go lang sis! You have a lifetime to cook for him!

[yannuh]

thank you sissies ishopnowfeelguiltylater and barbillie. korek siguro i'll just take this as a constructive criticism instead of mag emote emote ako. pero nahurt talaga ko siguro inexpect ko lang na sana subtle yung pagsabi nya nun. anyhow, willl follow my heart when cooking. and research research research. thanks again!:*

[sarsingkit]

How long have you been together? I ask because you still take comments like this seriously. Your husband said this because he is comfortable with giving you constructive criticisms. Kasi like you said, hindi ka marunong but you want to try. Since you are trying and learning, maybe he thought you are open to comments. So, just accept it and make it a learning experience. Besides, kinain naman nya so effort na rin yun for him. Plus, if you really want to learn something, you have to be surrounded by people who are open and honest with what you do. Chin up, marami pang chance. As you learn, you'll face many culinary blunders, but you know that is part of the learning process.

[yannuh]

^yes sis i really do and he knows that i am that sensitive ever since. we've been together (bg-gf) for 8 yrs before we decided to get married so 1 month old palang our married life. sad ako but yep, move on na lang and will do better next time. tks!

[gwyne21]

take it as a challenge para mas magpractice ka magluto... isipin mo na lang kapag nagpractice ka at maalam ka na magluto, praise and compliment naman ibibigay nya sayo.
About cooking, since nagstart ka pa lang matuto, try to learn a few signature dishes para kahit konti lang alam mo lutuin... winner naman    ... marami ka naman makikita sa internet na mga simple recipes. good luck sis

[yannuh]

^thank you sis:) yup di na nga ko masasad. nagsorry na si hubby haha :p practice na lang ng practice until super sarap na mga luto ko:))

[skela96c]

Hi sis yannuh!  one thing lang with your post. this part:

I know it's our responsibility to cook for the family, do the household chores and all.

hmmm, while it is usually us women who cook, pero no, i don't think it's our responsibility along with the other household chores.  maybe, make it a joint responsibility for both of you. take cooking lessons together.  tapos take turns in showcasing your cooking skills para quits na you can also comment on his ability. baka kala nya madali ano. hehe!

anyway, i understand that you want to make pasikat naman to the hubby. perhaps next time, tell him be to be kind with his comments. kasi it turns you off rather than inspires you to be better. 

[yannuh]

^haha. yep i know mali yang part na yan sis. di ko na nacorrect, haha :p share naman kami in everything sis, ultimo paghuhugas ng pinggan, we really take turns:) kaya lang nahurt lang talaga ko sa part na un. haha. yun nga, will take that na lang as a challenge to cook better next time:)

[belle_v2g]

I'm glad you're okay now sis yannuh. Ako din ang main cook sa house since hubby doesn't cook at all. I'm from Pampanga btw, so I am expected to cook good food all the time! O diba doble pressure haha! And tanging complain ni hubby sa luto ko, di daw masabaw. There was a time na may palitan kami ng words about sabaw alone hehe. (Not away) sabi lang nya, bakit daw palaging konti sabaw ng luto ko. So i said, ganun naman kase talaga yan lutuin. Tapos sabi nya, mama ko pag nagluto ng adobo madami sabaw etc etc. then sabi ko, well sabi ng mama ko, pag madaming sabaw, pang construction food daw yun haha! Tapos sya ang nainis, nakaka insulto daw ako hahaha!

[yannuh]

^haha good for you sis na you did not take everything seriously. emo kasi ako. haha. but naliwanagan na gagalingan ko na lang next time

[imprincessfiona]

^normal reaction yan sis. kahit ako ganun magiging reaction ko. siyempre you want to impress your husband, right? kumbaga pag may chores ka na nagawa na pinuri nya siyempre you will be proud sa sarili mo, iba kasi yung fulfilment pag napuri ka ng husband mo sa ginawa mo. pero gawin mo na lang inspiration yung nangyari para mag-excel sa gusto mong gawin. Practice lang nang practice sis. kaya mo yan! aja! actually, problem ko din yan kasi magaling magluto si husband. kaya pag nagluluto si husband pinapanuod ko sya para next time ako na ang magluluto.

[belle_v2g]

You can also check recipes online, yung simple to make lang sis for a start. Pag napapadalas na yung pagluluto mo, magiging perfect na yan for hubby. Di rin ako marunong when we started, but since my parents are both pampangueño culinary experts, tinetext ko sila lagi for ideas.

About sa pagiging sensitive, it's understandable to feel that way. Iba iba lang siguro ang response natin but you know, one month pa lang kayong married and madaming madami ka pang maeexperience with hubby in the future so just enjoy everything and wag mag dwell sa mga issues na alam mong magpapasama ng kalooban mo. Tama yung ginawa mo na naging honest ka sa feelings mo.

[simang]

Pero ikaw sis yannuh, anong honest verdict mo sa niluto mo?

I'd say let it go. To be honest, yes I think you were too sensitive. What can he say kung walang lasa talaga yung food? Do you really expect him to say he liked the food when he honestly doesn't... Take it as a challenge. Alam mo din naman na you don't cook, you have all the time in the world to learn, so wag na malungkot, instead, find ways to improve your cooking na lang.

[Purple_Power]

Sobrang galit ba siya when he told you that he doesn't like the food you cooked?

Ito lang masasabi ko, don't focus much on pleasing him kasi mas marami pang importanteng bagay na dapat pagtuunan ng pansin when it comes to marriage eh! Baka kasi kakaisip mo on how to please him marami kang importanteng bagay na makakalimutan at hindi mo na magagawa. Worst case nyan baka yung anak mo mapabayaan mo kakaisip mo on how to please him. I hope you understand what I mean, pero kasi there are cases na ang dami nang nasakripisyo talaga na importanteng bagay dahil umabot sa point na umikot na yung mundo sa asawa. Huwag naman ganun.

When it comes to pagluluto naman, it is really a long term learning yet you must have passion with it. You know why I say passion? Kasi kahit sobrang napakasimple ng luto mo believe me or not magiging masarap talaga ito. If you feel kung ano yung niluluto mo kahit sa simple lang magagawan mo ng paraan kung paano mo ito pasasarapin. Huwag mong masyadong isipin kung magugustuhan ba ito ng hubby or ng ibang tao, huwag kang parating magfocus run, ang parati mong tatandaan rin kung yung luto mo ba is healthy, safe ba and other more concerns then huli na yang sarap. Pag-aralan mo muna yung mga simple lang at madadali dyan ka magsimula.

Another tip here sa pagluluto, ask help from a person that is sincere to help you hindi yung nanenermon about at nangungutya na dapat maging responsable ka kasi ano papakain mo sa pamilya mo. Huwag kang pipili ng taong may hinanakit at gagawin kang eng eng. Choose the person that is credible at magaan ang kalooban mo kapag kausap siya.

Online recipes is a big big help. Ako nagsimula ako sa recipe book rin then eventually online. Kapag natuto ka na from the references believe me you won't be needing those recipe books and other online references. Ikaw na makakagawa on your own saka mas magagawan mo na ng paraan na makakatipid ka at yung iba't ibang strategies. Example rito pumpkin soup, masyadong complicated tong gawin para mapasarap ito. I learned it from the book pero nung napag experimentuhan ko na kung paanong pasarapin nagustuhan ito ng mga nakatikim na and they even told me na may culinary sense daw ako.

Take your husband's criticisms as constructive. Siempre pagod rin yan and galing sa work so yung food ang magpapaalis sa stress niya. Importante rin sa part niya ang magkaroon ng sustansya yung niluto mo, baka mamaya kasi kapag puro effortless food ang inasikaso mong lutuin eh! mapilitan na siyang magdelata or bumili sa labas which is hindi na practical. Of course ayaw naman natin mangyari yun.

There's always a chance and next time for that, bago pa lang naman kayo eh! kaya may mga bagay talaga na long term mong pag-aaralan saka you are in the process of learning. By the way curious lang ako if both of you are living independently? If you do then at that situation I can say that you are lucky. At least walang nakikialam na in laws.

Regarding the responsibility for the family in my opinion lang, cooking and other household chores are not really designated for wife or woman. Mga matatanda lang naman at mga pakialamerang biyenan ang mahilig mag-obliga sa babaeng asawa na dapat ikaw maglinis at magluto tapos yung asawa mo pagsilbihan mo. I believe parehong magulang yan kay Tatay o Nanay pa. Nasa panahon na tayo na we need to be practical and help each other. Walang mangyayari kung hindi makapaglaba yung Tatay kasi Nanay dapat ang gagawa... well something like that.

[yannuh]

thank you everyone:) dami ko natutunan sa inyo:) will try na lang not to be uber sensitive and galingan pa magluto. God bless!:)

[brendaumnas]

Hi sis Yannuh!

I can totally relate sa pag-iyak about sa niluto. Well, actually ako, I cook naman talaga. But one time, nagluto ako ng pork hamonado and nagustuhan ko naman. Tapos sabi ni h2b, parang iba daw sa mga nasa catering. Iba yung kulay. So na-sad ako kasi todo effort ako nun and na-hurt ang ego ko. Haha. So before kami natulog, naiyak ako sa kanya. And same tayo naisip, d na ko magluluto. Haha! Well, naging emotional naman ako nun siguro kasi stressed din sa work and meron ako.

Pero ok yun, honest kayo sa isa't isa. Dati din di ako marunong magluto, natuto lang ako nung naging ofw ako. Helpful ang panlasang pinoy and laura in the kitchen, sure masarap.