I lost my best guy friend :(

[tambayan]

Hi! i just want to share my story and ask other people's perspective.

I have this guy friend. Lagi kami magkasama and people and friends would always tease us na bagay kami etc. Hanggang sa we both confessed to each eventually that we liked each other. However, he had a girlfriend then so we opted to remain just friends pero medyo alanganin kasi may time na we would call each other 24/7. He would make statements that someday pag pwede na he will do everything to win me back. May time na lumayo ko kasi mali eh. Akala ko okay na ko so may time na nagkukumustahan kami. As legit friends nalang ulit. He told me na break na sila ng gf nya. A month after, nagulat ako he was dating someone new na. A few months after, I was applying at the same instituion he works. He lent me his laptop. Ewan ko ba. He always had this image kasi talaga na babaero or malandi. And madami na kong naririnig pero I refuse to see that side of him. To see is to believe eh. I checked on his fb account and Nagulat ako kasi may conversation with a girl. She asked if he's seeing someone and he denied and asked her number. I read his convo with his gf and mahal na ang tawagan nila since june and yet he told me na nagbreak sila ng exgf nya ng mga june pa lang. Another convo was with another girl who apparently he slept with. And yet he would always tell me before na he would wait until marriage na he's a virgin na isang bagay na iadmire ko sa kanya. Nashock ako because he was totally different from the guy I thought he was. I told him about what I saw pero dun pa lang ako sa unang convo with the girl when he denied he's seeing someone, sabi nya hindi pa sila nung gf nya.. (And yet they call each other mahal) And ayun nagalit na siya because I invaded his privacy and wala kong right kasi bestfriend lang ako. Sobrang abot langit galit nya sakin to the point na may time nagmakaawa ko na magusap kami. Mixed feelings ako now. Nagiguilty ako and disappointed sa sarili ko na nagawa ko yun siguro in denial pa rin ako na gusto ko pa rin siya kaya affected ako sa mga decisions and pagiging babaero nya. Nanghihinayang ako sa friendship kasi isa siya sa mga maasahan kong kaibigan din eh.
Nalulungkot and disappointed sa kanya kasi pinagtatanggol ko siya pero totoo palang babaero siya.. And para sa kanya walang mali sa ginagawa nya.. and hindi ko tuloy alam if totoong may feelings siya sa akin nun or parang naging babae lang nya ko.. Because he could have chosen me but he never did. And ngayon magkakasama pa kami sa same workplace soon. Hindi ko alam paano kami magpapanggap na okay when he introduced me to other people as his bestfriend. Walang ibang alam ng nangyari sa amin even our barkada so mahirap magpanggap na okay pero FO na pala

[reighnyielle]

Sis I think he's the type of guy that will continue to lie to you until he gets what he wants from you. He's the type of guy that will fool you and say things that you wanna hear until mabihag ka ng kanyang mga kalokohan. Ang swerte mo pa nga kasi you were able to prove that he's indeed a babaero/malandi na lalaki kasi most players like him are so good at their pambobola that girls like you will be blinded about the katarantaduhan na ginagawa nila. Just be thankful that you were able to find out who he really was ng mas maaga kasi if nagpatuloy pa itong panloloko niya ay ikaw din ang kawawa emotionally. They are called "f*** boys" for a reason. They just want to sleep with us girls and mess with our feelings. Huwag kang maghinayang sa friendship niyo kasi if he's really a good person, he wouldn't get your hopes up for nothing and huwag mo ibaba ang pride mo sis just to make amends with him kasi he's not worth it

[najine]

Sis, di ba pag bestfriend dapat open kayo sa isat isa at walang tinatago. Since andami nya pa lang skeleton sa closet I think its better for you to re access his place in your life. kung friends friends lang talaga. no expectation. Good thing na din na nalaman mo nangyari before you fall into his trap. hayaan mo din na siya magreach out sayo kase nagawa mo na part mo. kung talagang Best Friend tingin nya sayo.

[TomHansen]

Suwerte ka nalaman mo ang tunay na kulay ng kaibigan mo, now na alam mo na ang katotohanan willing ka pa rin bang magpaloko sa kanya? Ngayon pa lang pigilan mo na ang sarili mong maging close sa kanya, humanap ka agad ng ibang kaibigan sa work once magstart ka na. Please control yourself kapag magkasama na kayo sa trabaho dahil panigurado may time magiging weak ka and he'll grab that chance para malaglag ka na naman sa patibong niya. Hindi ka niya gusto tambayan, nilalandi ka lang niya nung sinabi niya yun.. Wag ka nang paloko sis playboy yan.

[mysterioza_me]

May point naman kasi si guy na "bestfriend" ka lang bakit mo naman pinakialaman ang private stuff niya. Masakit man pero wala ka pa sa posisyon to invade his privacy. Well, nagtapat siya sa iyo ng "pag-ibig" pero di mo naman pwedeng panghawakan yun kasi malabo pa din ang usaping pag-ibig ninyo since sabi mo nga nanatili lang kayo na magbestfriend. May limitasyon pa rin naman kasi ang pagiging magbestfriend lalo na sa private matters.

Pero ito lang sis. That guy is a complete jerk, posibleng back up plan ka since he can't live without women (plural talaga yan) around him. Pag hindi nagwork out yung sa isa atleast andiyan ka pa at meron pang iba pa. And also he is not actually mad because of what you did but because of what you discovered about him. Defense mechanism lang niya na galit siya kasi nabuko mo siya. Ganun naman yun di ba? Paggalit ka kasi may nagawa silang mali, dapat mas galit sila to make you feel guilty. So don't be guilty and disappointed sa self mo. Be happy kasi agad nalaman mo what kind of a jerk he truly is.

[red_yesha]

MALANDI at MAPAGPANGGAP ang iyong "friend".Hindi sya okay maging bestfriend, marami syang masyadong tinatago sayo.
Pero next time ha, wag na masyadong pakialamero sa account/files. masama rin yan.

Smile ka na

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

the good news is, magbestfriend lang kayo, so hindi cheating ang ginagawa niya sayo. sadly nga lang pati sayo nagpapanggap siya, and yung mga sinabi niyang sweet nothings sayo, he was just flirting. i think you'll be fine. since nasa same workplace kayo, you only have to be civil sakanya.

[Girltalker2]

I told him about what I saw pero dun pa lang ako sa unang convo with the girl when he denied he's seeing someone, sabi nya hindi pa sila nung gf nya.. (And yet they call each other mahal) And ayun nagalit na siya because I invaded his privacy and wala kong right kasi bestfriend lang ako.

I'm not sure if you can see through his personality here. He is a constant liar. Normal reaction ng mga taong with the intent to lie - get angry. Daanin sa sindak para yung victim (ikaw) pa ma guilty. My ex used to do that a lot. But it doesn't change the fact he is sinungaling.

Sobrang abot langit galit nya sakin to the point na may time nagmakaawa ko na magusap kami. Mixed feelings ako now. Nagiguilty ako and disappointed sa sarili ko na nagawa ko yun siguro in denial pa rin ako na gusto ko pa rin siya kaya affected ako sa mga decisions and pagiging babaero nya.

He seems to be controlling. Ikaw naman nagpapadala ka.
The usual outcome ng abusive relationships. Sya yung continuous liar, ikaw laging feeling guilty and always having second thoughts about your reactions.

You need to come to terms with reality. Yung pag kakilala mo sa kanya are all false.
I don't think kelangan mo manghinayang kasi never sya naging totoo sayo and they were all lies. Kung totoong kaibigan tingin nya sayo, di sya magsisinungaling. Pag tutuusin, ikaw dapat magalit sa kanya at sya dapat mag sorry at magmakaawa.

Nanghihinayang ako sa friendship kasi isa siya sa mga maasahan kong kaibigan din eh.

In what ways mo sya maasahan? Maybe you can expound further for us to understand that this guy is not a total *sshole.

And para sa kanya walang mali sa ginagawa nya.. and hindi ko tuloy alam if totoong may feelings siya sa akin nun or parang naging babae lang nya ko.. Because he could have chosen me but he never did.

Walang mali sa ginagawa nya? Obviously this guy has a skewed mind. Forever kayo di magkakasundo unless dakilang martyr ka na willing ka maging isa sa mga babae nya.

Obvious din wala syang feelings sayo kasi di sya magsisinungaling or papatol sa ibang babae if he loves you. So there's no point wondering about it. Be thankful kamo na never ka nya pinili, otherwise sobra ka sigurong naloko and na-abuse.

And ngayon magkakasama pa kami sa same workplace soon. Hindi ko alam paano kami magpapanggap na okay when he introduced me to other people as his bestfriend. Walang ibang alam ng nangyari sa amin even our barkada so mahirap magpanggap na okay pero FO na pala

So? Dedmahin mo nalang. Make new friends sa work place. And para sakin, you should not be OK with him as your Friend. Friends don't lie to each other. Ibig sabihin, lokohin ka ng kahit sino, dapat OK parin kayo?

Anong FO?

[khaleesiCersei]

If it was me sis, hindi ko na lang sasabihin ang mga nabasa ko and i would take them as a warning at sign na hindi ako dapat mag expect ng pag ibig sa kanya at magigising na ano sa katotohanan at ititigil ko na ang ilusyon ko. Pero dahil nasabi mo na, dedma ka na lang atleast alam mo na ang totoo at sana sis wake up call na to syo, hindi ka nya talaga gusto. Nilandi ka lang nya. Affected ka lang kasi nga nag eexpect ka at may gusto ka sa kanya. Pero now na hindi na kayo ok. Pabayaan mo na sya. May makikilala ka pang iba and wag kang manghinayang sa friendship nyo kasi im sure hindi lang naman sya ang friend mo. Siguro its time na let go mo na yun feelings mo for him kasi mukhang wala naman patutunguhan yun. Kung ayaw ka nya kausapin eh di dedmahin mo lang parang walang nangyari. Ikaw lang naman mahihirapan kung magpapa apekto ka kasi the feeling is not mutual. Kausapin mo lang sya pag work related pero hangang don lang

[tambayan]

Thank you mga sis! Wake up call nga sakin yun. It was the best thing na rin because I was blinded all this time. Feeling ko kasi nun may mali sakin or wrong timing etc. kaya hindi nya ko pinursue yun pala wrong person lang talaga. God knows best talaga. But I pray na sana magbago siya para wala na siyang maloko and masaktang ibang babae.

[gab54]

I will be brutally honest, sorry if ma offend kita...
If he wants to remain friends, ayoko ng sinungaling. So I guess I will just treat him as an acquaintance and co worker, no expectations no demands. Hindi ko narin aawayin or susuyuin, thats kinda pathetic. Ang hirap sa sinungaling, hindi mo na alam allin ang totoo. So if hindi ka marunong maglaro, better stay out nalang.
Wag mo na sayangin ang buhay mo sa isang walang kwentang lalaki.
Anong privacy privacy? IF U HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE, YOU HIDE NOTHING!

[tambayan]

Salamat sa mga advice Btw, I'd like to share this video I found sa fb for people who had friendship/relationship that ended..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IbvRW4FoaoM

[purple.strawberry]

Medyo nagtaka lang ako sis kasi magbestfriend kayo and yet di mo alam na ganun pala ugali niya. He should have been open about that unless nirereserve ka niya as another "target" in the future.

It's good din na nalaman mo na what his true colors are. On a side note, mali talaga mangialam ng account ng iba. But tapos na yun so don't feel guilty about it.

You seem to accept na what happened, good for you sis. Maganda na rin yung lumayo-layo ka sa ganyang tao.