Too fat

[pathetic]

I need your advice.

I have always lost all my weight battles. Mataba na ako ever since.
Before I got married, I went into crazy dieting and exercising, to the point where I only ate greens for a year.  I shed off nearly 80 pounds for the wedding. After 6 years and 2 babies, I gained all the pounds back. I tried dieting but I lost all my resolve. Whatever I eat, I gain.

One night I told my husband I am sorry because I am fat. I feel that he has been demoted to a janitor (no offence meant) from being a middle manager from the time we were married up to now. Tapos, out of the blue, I thanked him because he still makes love with me.

He answered with a chuckle, "Only because it's lights-off!"

 
Hindi ko alam kung joke. Malamang joke, but my self-esteem has shattered. I just want die of embarrassment. Pati sa sarili ko, nahihiya ako.

I know some of you might not fully understand this feeling. Ang hirap maging severely overweight. I am embarrassed seeing myself in pictures. I am more embarrassed for my husband who had to endure being seen with me. 

[yannuh]

^hmm sis wag ka na ma.sad. siguro hindi naman mini-mean ni hubby yun. kala nya joke at naging insensitive sya dun sa part na yun. try to tell him na lang na naoffend ka tapos pag usapan nyo na lang sis. di ako payat pero siguro sis if nacoconscious ka na, try to do extra effort na lang like magzumba kahit sa house or takbo2 kahit within the neighborhood lang. i know tamad din ako dyan pero baka makatulong sis:)

[plumpolka]

Mag-gym ka lang sis. and dapat talagang dedicated ka pumayat. being sad/depressed will do nothing good. baka mas lalo ka pang tumaba. just focus on your self-improvement program and i'm sure kaya mo yan. dont rely on diet and yung mga food na nakakapayat daw. kailangan kasi talaga may physical activities ka parin talaga to burn calories and fats.


My sis-in-law kasi nag ggym din and yoga. and talagang makikita mo dedication nya. she got fat kasi nung na-preggy sya pero ngayon payat na ulit sya. sometimes kailangan mo lang talaga marealize sa sarili mo na ayaw mo na yung nakikita mo sa sarili mo so you have to change that. if it will improve your self-esteem then go lang.

[wife2be]

I know how you feel. Mataba din ako. But unlike any other problem, we can do something about our weight. If it will make you feel any better and it will uplift your confidence, then, try changing your lifestyle.

Ang weight kasi cause-and-effect yan eh. Kaya let's do things that will lower our weight. Sasamahan kita dyan. Magpapayat na din ako.

Don't be too hard on yourself. May flaws tayo, pero tingnan mo din ang good points mo. Malamang good mother ka. Focus on that.

Good luck!

[ishopnowfeelguiltylater]

Hi sis, I hope you will feel better about yourself, with or without losing weight. I myself am borderline obese due to stress-eating so you getting depressed might just result to you putting on pounds.

[momentum]

think of it as a motivation to finally take a step go back to a healthier lifestyle.
in the long run, it will benefit you naman you will feel and look better not just for your husband but for yourself as well. mas maalagaan mo sila ng matagal

[kaiz]

TS tanggapin mo muna na ganyan talaga body mo now. then make a promise to yourself na one day at a time, by eating healthy, dadating ka din dun. ako mas naglose weight ako nung naging target ko is healthy eating and healthy living. nung goal ko is to lose weight, na pepressure akowhich resulted to depression and over eating

[cosmochick]

Sis, instead of feeling down and depressed, why don't you use that hurt feeling as a motivation to change your lifestyle. You did it before, surely, you can do it again.

Do it for your health sis. Do it for yourself.

[Gum Ball]

sis don't be to harsh on yourself! tama use those para ma motivate ka and stick to it! ako i am a living testimony dyan sa nagbago talaga buhay dahil tumaba ako then after ko maexperience ang depression i finally got the motivation para mag work out/diet and with the help nadin ng supplement and what's most important is you should love yourself more lalo na sa dinadanas mo ngayon.. pray lang, motivation and do something about it.. your husband surely thought of talking to you regarding that mali man yung way nya gusto lang naman siguro nya na kumilos ka regarding that matter.

[vanitygirl]

Motivate yourself sis. If you have done it in the past, then I guess there's no reason na di mo kayanin to shed pounds now.   I know how it feels since I am also in the same battle. Sometimes, I cry alone and blame myself. However, I refuse not to give up. As of now, I'm trying hard to lose the extra weight. Just think about the better days. You're not alone.

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positivethoughts

[TinyBubbles89]

dont take it seriously sis baka nagjojoke lang si hubby mo. Maging self motivated ka kung dati nagawa mong magbawas ng timbang i know kaya mo din yun. Gym, Water, more veggies and fruits, then cardio or zumba. Wag mo masyadong isipin baka mastress ka at madepress ka lang at magkasakit ka pa..

[quinone]

have you tried consulting a doctor? it could be hormonal?

[lovemeagain30]

My hubby is fat now and still he is in denial stage! 

hay naku dati rati nagagalit ako nuon kapag lumulubo siya ng sobra, ngayon parang tanggap ko na! minahal ko na siya sa ganun pero hindi naman ibig sabihin hindi ko siya sasabihan parin na magpapayat. 

he's been trying to diet for days now then the other night while i'm having dinner and siya ay nagfe flex ng muscle niya sa salamin, hiniritan ko ng "babe kumakain naman ako, nakakawalang gana!"nyahaha.

pero ganun kami mag asawa nagbibiruan so baka ganun lang din ang hubby mo.. maybe he taught somehow it will make you laugh and lighten up the situation. Ang mali lang is hindi niya napansin you were serious about it.

[sarsingkit]

Focus on having a healthy and happy lifestyle. Don't feel bad if you do not shred fat as much, aim for stability than yo-yo dieting. Encourage your kids and husband to take part in the healthy living. You'll see magiging madali din ang lahat.

And sis Quinone is right, try consulting with a doctor. Baka hormonal yan.

[PinKisH_23]

Siguro naman nakilala ka ni hubby mo na overweight ka na, I guess biro lang yun. But let him know how you feel, it's better that way.

Ako rin mataba na ever since pero I gained so much weight after the wedding. When I learned about hubby's cheating, I started loving myself more. Nag diet and exercise. I lost about 60 lbs na, nagpaganda rin ako. Tayo lang din naman makaka angat ng self esteem natin, push it a little bit more. Isipin mo narin na we're not getting any younger, kailangan na natin tanggalin ang extra weight para sa health natin.

[hisana]

I agree, let your husband know that jokes like these are really hurting your feelings.

Regarding weight loss...great advice has already been given in the previous posts. For me, importante talaga that you have yourself checked. There are many factors that contribute to being very overweight, and it may be beneficial to get further opinion from a healthcare professional (if you haven't already). And also, just plain never giving up on yourself. Hang on to your weight loss goals. Good luck.

[imprincessfiona]

We have the same dilemma TS. Hirap na din ako mag-diet ngayon compared dati. Maybe because of the hormonal changes (not getting any younger). At gaya ng ibang sissies natin dito naging outlet ko ang food pag depress and I can't help it talaga.Try ko ulit ang diet and exercise starting on Sat. Madami na din kasi akong nararamdaman na sakit sa katawan nowadays and I think I am getting heavier and heavier. Kaya natin ito sis! Aja! 

[velvetdreams]

Hello sissy (Pathetic) .. (long read po ito kaya sorry tlaga basahin nyo po mga sissies)

hey, don't feel bad about yourself but instead learn to love & help yourself if you think na you need to improve then go for it.. wag ka mag self pity.. I know the feeling coz i've been there..

Kami ng husband ko is LDR status nasa Brunei sya for nearly 3 yrs now pero nauwi naman yearly pero 6 years kaming mag ka rel. We got married last Dec 2014 (civil) nakapunta ko sa Brunei 2x and last na punta ko dun is last 09/23/2015 so recently lang alam mo nako mas grabe pa sayo nangyare saken kaya don't feel bad dapat mag silbi etong inspiration and enlightenment mo sa rel. nyo

Nung andun ako sa brunei syempre hindi naman naiiwasan sa mag asawa na mag biruan magkasakitan verbally maoffend etc.
pero etong joke ng husband ko eto na siguro yung joke na hindi nakakatuwa at sobrang nakakaiyak na nakaka offend.

nung pagkadating ko dun I know naman and aware ako na:

- stress ako sa work sobrang toxic ng account namin (call center agent po ako)
- hindi ako nakapag handa (beauty regimen)
- naging super workaholic ako
- and lastly NAG GAIN AKO NG WEIGHT. na ma-chubby na nga tumaba pa lalo

so nung kararating rating ko lang dun and napansin nya na ang stress ko tignan and mostly tumaba ako and ang dami ko daw breakouts

sabi ko (habang pabebe/pakipot): "nakuu ehh di palitan mo na"

tapos sabi nya:  kung sya daw single ang hahanapin nya daw is:
- Makinis
- Sexy
at Mapera
at chinita
-- in short parang chinese looking

so i was like (on my mind only) "WTF?/ HUH?"

sa 6 yrs ng rel. namin hindi nya nasasabi yan and nasasabi nya skn noon is mahilig sya sa chubby  and ngayon ko lang nalaman na mahilig pala sya sa chinita pero ngaun ko lang talaga nalaman yon bat ganon..sobrang yung 10 days vacation ko sa bruneui parang 2-3 days kong dinamdam yun.. as in iyak ako ng iyak.. hindi ako na relaxed hindi ako nag enjoy.. so parang naging super na down ako non yung self-esteem ko super negative level na. Til now medyo fresh pa hindi padin ako nakaka moved on and super ginagawa ko lahat like nag aayos na ko ulit nag dad-iet and exercise na ko..para to improve myself.

Sabi nya saken kung kelan daw kami naging mag asawa naging pusong mamon daw ako.
Pero hindi yun ehh.. wala na ehh parang feeling ko forever nyang meant yun.
super nasasaktan padin ako and parang naiiyak ako habang tna-type ko to. Forever na ata kong may doubt sa sarili ko although i'm really trying to keep up and feeling ko papalitan nya na ko since andun sya sa Brunei.

So guys wag kayo mag stop na iimprove ang sarili nyo..
and continue to boost your self confidence..

[velvetdreams]

Sis.. DO it for yourself please.

Don't feel bad..
learn to love yourself and continuously improve yourself

[Girltalker2]

Sabi nila first is acceptance. Minsan hindi fair, but I agree, may mga tao blessed talaga with a fast metabolism. So TS, just accept first na you're not one of them to begin with. Therefore you need to work extra for you to feel better/confident.

My hubby is fat now and still he is in denial stage! 

Sis, iba pag guys. Pag girls sobrang iba. Women are more particular because of society, because how their partners' minds  are molded by society.

Worse, between men and women, mas mabagal ang metabolism ng mga babae, not to mention we have cravings pa during our periods, give birth, and once you age beyond 35, your metabolism will get slower and slower. And for men, not as slow. Kahit mataba sila, mas mabilis din sila pumayat.


TS, I really don't know what to say to you but sana you won't lose hope. First you have a family and 2 kids. Dami kaya nag aasam to be in your shoes. Kaya just treasure what you have and change your mind set. Para at least you can be at your best - be the best Mom and Wife.

1) sometimes it is not about being thin. It is about being healthy

2) Sabi nila to slim down, 70% is diet and 30% is exercise. They have to go hand in hand. You cannot just stop eating coz it will slow down your metabolism. But you have to eat right. You need exercise to speed up your metabolism.

I don't see anything wrong with eating veggies. Or being a vegan. Then once a week you eat what you want. Start from there. Kita mo si KC? Why do you think she opted to be a vegetarian early in her late teens or early twenties? Simply because she has seen the size of her grandma and Sharon, malaki buto nila and it is in the genes. She has accepted that fact and did something about it. Not only vegan sya but she also exercises regularly.

3) ask support from your family. Feeling ko a happy Wife can be attributed to her partner's support.

Both kayo dapat eat healthy. Hindi salad ka Tapos sya lechon.
hindi naman sa sinisisi ko hubbies/partners natin for our state, Pero I always believe na may kasalanan din sila (partly) if ever we find ourselves in this situation. Kasi sila dapat nagreremind din satin to be at our best for them.

So TS, Try to see this problem as a challenge - to be your best self. To be able to stay healthy for your kids and family. Magastos kaya magkasakit or mahal ang maintenance meds. If you don't take care of yourself, you might fall sick of high blood, hypertension, cholesterol, gall bladder etc by the time you reach your 40s.