Can This Be Love?

[amazingheart]

It's not easy to find someone I like. I fall In Love unintentionally with this guy. I dunno why.. pero extreme happiness and kilig ang feeling pag kasama ko sya at pag nag me-message sya sa akin. I am afraid na  mahalata nya kaya control myself ang peg ko muna. pero twice na syang nag disappearing act 2 days ang pinakamatagal na di sya nag message, although nakita ko online nman sya.

Then suddenly magparamdam sayo to say sorry na busy daw sya or naubusan ng battery.  "SA AKIN parang hello. What a lame, shallow excuses.  I feel disappointed pero what will I do? I couldn't just drop him off. I like him,  Sya palagi nasa isip ko. Pero, I'm still confused if he want to have serious relationship with me or hanggang "special friend zone lang Kami. We've been dating for 4month's.  And naging vocal naman na sya sa feelings nya na he likes me, he'd love to spend time his life with me. He messages me sweet words, pag magkasama Kami he made me feel special. Pero sabi nya at the moment Hindi pa daw sya ready because of his past. At same din sa akin. Been with a toxic relationship in the past so medyo hirap pa din ako mag tiwala at ayoko muna magmadaling pumasok sa isang relationship. Pero, ewan mula nung nakilala ko sya. Parang nag Iba ang lahat. Gustong gusto ko na syang makasama pero di nman puede, we live 700kms apart mula nung na assign ako dito.  so naging once a month na lang ang pagkikita namin. I dunno pero I'm confused. I dunno if he's really into me or Baka ako lang ang umaaasa na may future Kami at mag next level ang aming status not just only as friends. Or better move on and don't take him seriously ewan.. pls enlighten me.😕

[Girltalker2]

^ sis try reading other threads so you can learn more about relationships.

The fact na di ka sure, well malamang ganun din sya. A guy will definitely tell you Kung gusto ka nya maging GF. Pag di pa sya sure, hayaan mo lang sya to take his time to decide.

While he has not made up his mind yet, you should not just wait for him. Date other guys din. I know you like him and him alone. But it won't do you good if you just wait and sit. Paano kung umayaw sya? Eh di you end up with nothing. So best you also mingle and get to know others kahit di mo masyado gusto, Malay mo may Ma meet ka na better. Date and friends Lang naman, Hindi naman mag BF agad ng iba. If you happen to like another person, eh di good. Wala na sya sa picture, may iba ka pang gusto.

Eh pano kung mag decide sya later na gusto ka nya? Eh di ok lang, by then, may pagpipilian ka na and mapapaisip ka din which guy you think will be a better partner.

So I suggest, you don't wait out for home. Hayaan mo sya mag isip. Huwag ka malito, the fact na nawawala wala sya means, he is not decided. Pwes, treat him as a friend lang din and mingle around to find the right guy for you.

[mooncake and leaves]

Maybe this is just me but if I'm dating someone steadily for 4 months and he still balks at the idea of a serious/exclusive relationship, I'm just going to assume that we want different things and he is not into me. Agree with the above post- if you like this guy enough to see things through, you can do that while keeping your options open. Go out, have fun, continue to date. Not only will that allow you to branch out and meet other men but it will also divert your attention so you wouldn't fixate on this one guy.

[amazingheart]

Thank you Girltalker2 and mooncake in leaves for your inputs.

Right, I should better go out on a date or make myself busy na lang while waiting for him. Pero dahil wala pa akong makitang fit for a date, so I engage na lang myself sa ibang activities para hindi sya palagi ang nasa isip ko. But......

Good news, he is now making an extra effort to show that he's into me i guess (feeling ko lang naman haha!)  next week he will come here to visit me    . He said that he doesn't want to let chances go. Super kilig ako when he said"  I would never confess this to you, but i'de like to be the one who wakes you up every morning. I miss you. I want to be with you. (overload ako sa kilig) pero the fact na kinakabahan ako sa muli naming pagkikita. Hindi ko alam mga sis kung ano ba sasabihin ko sa kanya pag magkasama kami. Pag kasama ko kasi sya sobrang kaba talaga ako na kahit andami kong gustong sabihin or e- kwento e umuurong ang dila ko. Parang mas gusto ko lang e feel yong moment ko sa kanya at happy ako sobra. Nagpapahangin na kasi sya so maybe pag nagkita kami maybe lang naman, ano ba sasabihin ko promise sobrang kaba ako.

[momentum]

^ Chill ka lang sis... Relax


Words are cheap.. So just rely on actions. Mamaya bigla nalang maglaho nanaman yan ng ilang araw. Pakiramdaman mo muna sis, huwag kang magparamdam sa kanya na patay na patay ka sa kanya.. Nakakahalata yan haha! He'll see that as an advantage.. Na kahit mag disappearing act siya eh okay lang sayo.

So like what the other sissies said below.. Open yourself to other options or other things to do. Huwag maging fixated sa kanya until he has proven himself 100% na seryoso siya sa sinasabi niya at may kasamang actions talaga hindi puro sweet words. Pigil pigil mo muna feelings mo sis hehe. Ayaw lang natin madispappoint ka uli or masaktan.

[Girltalker2]

Just enjoy the company and get to know him more. Set your limitations/distance from him kasi no matter houch you like him, Hindi pa naman kayo at later Baka bigla na naman mawala (given his track record).

Have  a couple of topics in mind, and I'm sure Kung may chemistry kayo, the rest will follow.

Have you ever thought that that kilig could just be in your head? Tapos once you're together parang blah, walang spark. Bale what I'm saying, it happens din at times. Kaya importante to get to know him, how he thinks, his views and opinion etc

[amazingheart]

^^ yeah, words are cheap so I don't want to rely much of his empty words without consistency. Aminin, kahit pa fall lang yun. (Nakakakilig din talaga hay!)

^ Honestly nung na meet ko sya sa isang event, walang physical attraction,  I am interested to know more about the events at sya yong guy na nag approach sa akin at nagbigay ng enough information so dun nag start ang lahat. Nagka interest ako kasi may mga similarities kami, so kinuha nya number ko so dun nag start ang lahat. Hindi ko inisip na one day ma iinlove ako sa kanya.  Bihira akong ma inlove. Mas gusto kong mag isa kesa makipag date sa hindi ko naman type, masabi lang na may ka date ako,  Hindi naman ako man hater, pero kasi feeling ko iisa lang takbo ng utak ng mga lalaki😮

Hanggang sa naging madalas na kaming lumabas, minsan nag text housemate ko na hindi sya makakauwi sa house so mag isa lang ako dun, nalaman ni guy e magkasama kami that day, sabi nya mag sleepover ako sa place nya at mag movie marathon kami kasi parehas kaming mahilig manood. So ayun, the whole night na magkasama kami pinanindigan nya pagiging harmless nya, nagpa alam pa yan nung gusto nyang haplusin ang hair ko(haha) at nag ASK sya ng goodnight hug nung matutulog na kami. I know kahit na tetemp na sya na lapitan ako pero nagpaka gentleman pa din sya. Sabi nya ang hirap panindigan ang pagiging harmless ko. Dun nag start yung feelings ko sa kanya, 4 months na kaming magkakilala pero kiss lang sa cheeks at haplos sa hair ko ang nangyayari haha! Halos lahat kasi ng mga nakilala ko in the past gusto agad maka score. At pag pakipot ka, ayun dissappear silang lahat,  sya kahit wala syang napapala andito pa din sya. Well, sometimes 2 days syang di nagpaparamdam at biglang susulpot at reason nya busy syA.

Last night, andami naming pinag uusapan, hanggang topic namin about sa courtship na bakit daw ba laging lalaki ang madalas gumagawa ng effort. Like he said" I don't like the social rules that say like  the man has to be explicit and a conqueror and the woman has to be mysterious and not expressive, because I like equality. I'm a feminist. Sabi ko because we women like to be chase. Din hindi  na sya nagreply.

Kaninang hapon na lang sya nagreply he said. Ok I respect your being old school. Good thing for you that you are a girl, because if you were a boy and you had to be the one to do the efforts and chase the person you like, you would be in trouble.😜  Haha! Bigla akong nabilaukan sa sinabi nya. Diko sya nereplayan.

Din nag message ulit, you know what with you, something changed a bit in me, because in spite of being feminista, you put me to think about romantic stuff and taught me that the boy being gentleman and doing efforts to "gain the girls heart" can be healthy and beautiful too. I liked the learning and I'm thankful to you for that, so I decided to be gentleman with you and be the one who takes steps etc. But sometimes i would need or wish to recieve too, everyone likes to feel important for the other person, maybe because i'm a bit of venus sometimes, but the thing is i would like to feel corresponded sometimes.  Hindi muna ako nagreply, nag send lang muna ako ng  hug & kiss na smiley haha!

What do you think mga sis sa message nya, do you think he's into me? Ayokong mg assume, pero what do you think? May plan ba syang  mg next level? Kaya yan siguro sinabi nya kasi sobrang pigil ko feelings at reaction ko pag kasama ko sya para di makahalata na inlove ako sa kanya, e nasobrahan naman ata haha! Kaya yan tuloy ang feeling nya , Btw, he will come to my place next week  excited talaga ako. Cloud 9 lang ang peg😊

[Girltalker2]

Mas gusto kong mag isa kesa makipag date sa hindi ko naman type, masabi lang na may ka date ako,  Hindi naman ako man hater, pero kasi feeling ko iisa lang takbo ng utak ng mga lalaki😮

Sometimes friends lang naman kayo. I used to be alone all the time din. Then I just considered having a coffee with a colleague. Di ko type. But kako friends lang naman. For guys kasi, sometimes nadadala ng personality. Kahit di ko type, if they are conversant, matalino, minsan ma realise ko nalang ok pala kasama/kausap.

So you really cannot conclude agad na di ko type (personality wise) kasi you won't know until makausap mo.

Of course ibang usapan kung di mo ma-take itsura or di kayo magka level intellectually/financially.

I know kahit na tetemp na sya na lapitan ako pero nagpaka gentleman pa din sya. Sabi nya ang hirap panindigan ang pagiging harmless ko. Dun nag start yung feelings ko sa kanya, 4 months na kaming magkakilala pero kiss lang sa cheeks at haplos sa hair ko ang nangyayari haha! Halos lahat kasi ng mga nakilala ko in the past gusto agad maka score. At pag pakipot ka, ayun dissappear silang lahat,  sya kahit wala syang napapala andito pa din sya. Well, sometimes 2 days syang di nagpaparamdam at biglang susulpot at reason nya busy syA.

Sis, don't be misguided. I dated a guy before gentleman din. But we didn't go beyond dating kasi feeling ko walang chemistry.

Ni dulo ng finger ko di nya hinawakan. Turned out he was an *sshole pala kasi he also dating someone I knew (acquaintance) while we were dating. It wasn't supposed to be an issue sakin if he was open. Since I told him naman he can date others as we are not a couple and I'm also seeing other people. Abah ang drama hindi daw, tapos naraw sya sa mga younger girls always seeking for attention and he wants to pursue more mature women. Then after I told him we were better off as friends, dun ko lang nalaman na hinahabol na pala sya nung girl na kakilala namin. Kasi he dated her din daw, and worse, something happened between them pala! But he was avoiding her, for some reason.

Well my point is, "mukhang gentleman" itong guy na naka date ko dati Yun pala he took advantage of a girl na siguro napa-fall nya, so kahit hindi pa sila, may nangyayari na.  Then in the end, iyak lang yung girl while the guy still plays around.

Kaninang hapon na lang sya nagreply he said. Ok I respect your being old school. Good thing for you that you are a girl, because if you were a boy and you had to be the one to do the efforts and chase the person you like, you would be in trouble.😜  Haha! Bigla akong nabilaukan sa sinabi nya. Diko sya nereplayan.

Familiar topic. Once a guy told me this.
My answer: not true. I think a guy has an easier job as he can 'act' upon his wishes, he can pursue someone if he likes him.

A girl? Mag aantay lang. Eh pano kung walang lumapit? Mas mahirap maghabol ang girl!

What do you think mga sis sa message nya, do you think he's into me? Ayokong mg assume, pero what do you think? May plan ba syang  mg next level? Kaya yan siguro sinabi nya kasi sobrang pigil ko feelings at reaction ko pag kasama ko sya para di makahalata na inlove ako sa kanya, e nasobrahan naman ata haha! Kaya yan tuloy ang feeling nya , Btw, he will come to my place next week  excited talaga ako. Cloud 9 lang ang peg😊

I think he likes you. But if he can sustain being a gentleman for the next 50 or so years is something we won't know!

Ultimo yun naman ang goal di ba? To be able to find a life partner, na hindi magsasawa sa yo or Hindi ka magsasawa mahalin.

Yes he definitely likes you. But as to where he wants to go will be up to him. Kung gusto nya manligaw, mag profess ng love, mag MU muna, bahala sya. Let him be and see where this goes. Just enjoy his company (especially kilig galore ka na pala! ) Get to know him more, in good and not so good times para makita mo true colours nya. Get to know his family, friends and colleagues and you will be able to tell if this guy is a good potential partner.

Enjoy!

[momentum]

hindi sa nakikialam ako sis pero ingat nalang about him sleeping in your place or vise versa. parang kasi you're testing him hanggang saan sya magpapaka gentleman sayo. maybe you're giving him the wrong impression too about sayo dahil pumayag ka kagad mag sleep over siya sa house mo na getting to know stage palang kayo. kahit na ba wala kang ineexert masyado na effort. wala nga ngyari but syempre pumayag ka and that gives him an idea. baka iniisip niya pakipot ka lang haha. kaya siguro magtry na uli siya this second time around LOL, baka sakali. You'll never know rin kasi eh. what if mag the moves sya sayo, ano gagawin mo? makakapag pigil ka kaya? knowing attracted ka rin sa kanya?

wala lang. pero kanya kanya naman yan, no judgement. para sakin kasi I wont sleep over with a guy I am just getting to know, kahit pa may agreement na dapat walang mangyari.

[pinkpassion]

IMO, wala naman na tayo sa 1940's para magpa kyeme. Wala naman masama sa pag sleepover, nasa tao na yan, kung gusto may mangyari o wala. Hindi naman na siguro mga menor de edad para maging isang sagrado o masamang tignan para sa may mga maduduming pag iisip.

To TS, do what your heart tells you, i wouldn't want you lose a great boyfriend material just because you made him run around in circles for that long,. Do not wait till he get tired chasing you. For me its about time, just incase mag open up na sya sayo pag nagkita kayo! You are inlove, and he likes you obviously, then its a good sign.

[simang]

Talk is cheap. Let him do his thing and prove himself. As for you, be firm with what you really want. I don't see the point of being pakipot if in the first place eh gusto mo naman sya. So ask yourself, do you really see yourself being in a relationship with this person? Do you really think he has what you need and want for a partner? Kasi sa nakikita ko eh, as of the moment feeling mo kulang pa ang effort nya. So kung very crucial sayo ang effort ng guy, so bakit ka magdadalawang isip kung alam mo naman na hindi nya namimeet yung requirement na yun? And then what, kapag mas naging malalim na yung relationship magiging continuous pa din ang complains about not being effortful.

But sometimes i would need or wish to recieve too, everyone likes to feel important for the other person, maybe because i'm a bit of venus sometimes, but the thing is i would like to feel corresponded sometimes.  Hindi muna ako nagreply, nag send lang muna ako ng  hug & kiss na smiley haha!

I kinda have to commend him for saying this, because for the most part, this is true. Everyone wants to feel loved, and it's not only the guy's job to make his woman feel that. Kaya kung gusto mo sya, why are you holding back? Guys can be very sensitive sometimes too. Yang pabebe effect na ganyan can be misunderstood as being uninterested.

[momentum]

just like what I said, nasa tao nga yan, kanya kanya yan, kung ano notion mo about sleeping over. I just stated what is my opinion, thats it. hindi ako nagpapaka sagrado or what. kanya kanya lang yan

now TS, if you like him, tama nga naman si Simang, eh magpakatutuo ka nalang, hindi pakipot. kung masyadong mabilis for you, then just let him know you want to take it slow and get to know him more. maybe naguguluhan siya kung type mo ba siya o hindi. anyway, nasa sa iyo na yan  just know what you want

[amazingheart]

Girltalker2,  I learned from your shared experience, you'll never know talaga ang isang tao unless makasama mo sya sa isang bubong, especially, most guys likes to collect & play around muna.
Yeah, I let him say the golden words just incase ma feel nyang mag next level na, at the moment, I will just enjoy his company.  yes the chemistry is there, we almost talked anything under the sun, and I'm happy, he makes me happy.


@ momentum, I agree to sleepover kasi sobrang late na, nung nag text housemate ko na she can't be home that night e  nagkataon na magkasama kami  at mas malapit yong house ni guy kung saan kami that day, so he decided to invite me at his place kesa umuwi ako at walang kasama, at first hesitant ako, pero dahil wala namang malisya at kilala na din sya ng housemate ko so why not, since almost morning na din nun, so we just continue hanging out on his place kuwentuhan, nood ng film.  For me, its ok, its good to know him more deeply, kasi i was able to see his place, how he live his life etc. Tsaka I sleep in the room while he sleep in the living room. So no reason for me para maging off yung pag sleepover.

@pinkpassion. Agree, once na pumunta sya dito sa place ko and he finally utter the magic words, then Boom! Enough pabebe haha!, finally, the long wait is over, haha! Yun lang naman ang hinihintay ko.

Talk is cheap. Let him do his thing and prove himself. As for you, be firm with what you really want. I don't see the point of being pakipot if in the first place eh gusto mo naman sya. So ask yourself, do you really see yourself being in a relationship with this person? Do you really think he has what you need and want for a partner? Kasi sa nakikita ko eh, as of the moment feeling mo kulang pa ang effort nya. So kung very crucial sayo ang effort ng guy, so bakit ka magdadalawang isip kung alam mo naman na hindi nya namimeet yung requirement na yun? And then what, kapag mas naging malalim na yung relationship magiging continuous pa din ang complains.

Sis  as I said, I dont want to assume nor magpa-bebe, the thing is hindi pa naman sya nagpo-propose, so ayokong mag feeling na kami, at hindi rin ako nagpapakipot, hindi naman puedeng pangunahan ko sya sa kung anuman ang plan nya sa aki  or sa amin. At hindi ko naman sinabi o binanggit dito na kulang ang effort nya. I just simply want to know if he's into me. Because I don't want to assume or jump to any conclusion. So balance lang muna, atleast I let him know naman by my words AND actions na like ko din sya. Although hindi lang ako katulad nya na ma sweet talks.

So at the moment, wait lang muna ako what's his next move. Pag nagkita kami ulit. One thing hindi ako nag co complain.  About his effort. If you read clearly my above post.

[simang]

^If I'm not mistaken, this is the same guy you were talking about in the questions for men thread.. That was the story na nasa isip ko, in relation to this cause I was thinking of the same guy. Anyway, I guess my point is, if you like him, then go for it. If you don't, then don't entertain. I'd say if you're happy with how you guys are right now, then just enjoy it. Overthinking kills the fun. Enjoy his attention, and enjoy your life without stressing over this one person.

[girlush]

Can this be love?

For now, based on what I read ,it's not yet love. Infatuation. oo.
If you already saw his weaknesses, his imperfection or flaws and yet you can still accept him, you want to be with him, then that's LOVE 

enjoy lang