Paying most of the time on dates.

[khaleesiCersei]

Sis.. Yang behavior nyang yan, will never end. Parating magkakaron sya ng ibang gadget o material na bagay na pag iipunan at gustong bilhin. Walang katapusan yan. Hangang you are enabling him, hindi na yan magbabago. Kasi iniisip nya, andyan ka naman eh, alam nya hindi mo sya matitiis. Mas mahalaga sa kanya ang mga material na bagay kesa sa mga needs mo at ng relationship nyo. Sis, Para sa kanya hindi ka priority or ang future nyo. mamumuti lang mata mo kakahintay. Actions speak louder than words, kung puro matatamis na salita at pangako lang sya tapos iba naman ginagawa nya eh mag isip ka na sis. Siguro sis ikaw na may problema. Nagbubulag bulagan ka na hehe. Malaki ang balik nyan sayo pagtagal, sasabog ka sis. Dadating yun time na lahat ng naiipon na hurt or sama ng loob sa dibdib mo lalabas and it's gonna be messy.

[pinklilac]

^this...

Add ko lang sis na mabuti nga nakita mo na maaga pa lang  kung anong  klase  ang bf mo.
Maniwala ka nasa system nya na yan.
May kilala akong ganyan na  inuuna ang luho  like gusto updated  lagi sa gadgets.
Now, more than 10 yrs na sa abroad waley pa rin nagyayari sa buhay.
Wake up sis bago pa sumakit ulo mo.

[purple.strawberry]

Well bata pa naman kayo sis so malamang hindi pa niya talaga priority ang pagsave. I'm not saying it's right but it's just how people are.

Kung gusto niyang tipirin ang sarili niya to buy ps4 and other things, let him be. Choice niya naman yun. You don't have to supply him ng kung anong kulang niya because he's prioritizing other things. Malaki na yang boyfriend mo, and you're not his mother. Masyado mong iniistress sarili mo sis.

[sensi]

reading this made me sad
hindi naman kasi sa edad yan o sa type ng work..but it depends sa tao mismo how he/she is molded.
im not judging your bf or anything like that,so please dony get me wrong.
i know since u said he's also a good guy and a bf to you, that i dont even have to argue about.
but the fact that he has a job, then he can sustain his needs, or he should be able to, like groceries,rental, vitamins, food for his dog or hospital bills. just put it this way sis, for example wala ka pa sa life niya...how was he living before he met you? fine naman i guess right?
yes lets say, he has wants...well all of us have that naman talaga. but kaya nga we work para we can afford what we want for ourselves hindi ba? if he knows or aware that his salary is just enough to supply his monthly needs, then he has to think that saving for his wants would take a little bit longer..patience lang.ganon sana thinking niya. para when you got into his life, plus kana sa kanya. and not "found you" for helping him in most financial situations. kasi ang labas sis which is very obvious for all our sisters who posted on this thread for yiu to read, sadly you are making his life easier(your choice anyways since bf mo siya), but difficult for you in a way na ikaw naman nahihirapan in the sense na you cant even buy your clothes or make up or just your wants...unlike before na wala pa siya sa life mo, okay naman budget mo right?
im not saying na break up with him...im just saying try to assess whats best for both of you and whats best for you. mahirap magpakatanga sis. ang mahirap niyan if in the end hindi mo na nabibigay yung nakasanayan nyang "help" from you, tapos baka yun pa maging dahilan nyang magsawa siya sayo or worse, even blame you na you're not a help to him anymore. sanay ng bf mo sayo sis. i mean swerte niya kasi anopang hanapin niya sayo, you're earning well u like him... you're very caring....and halos most of the time you think about his needs more than yourself. am not saying he doesnt love you. but if he truly does love you, i dont think you would be posting this thread here. if contented ka by how he treats you and am talking in general huh, then yeah you wont be hee talking about him..
am sorry to have said all these things sis,but i also believe you are smart enough to know how to fix this:*

[TomHansen]

jeninajenina, mas alam mo yung happiness na nakukuha mo kay bf mo so nasa iyo na lang kung hanggang saan ang kaya mong tiisin para sa kanya. Redflag sa amin yung mga ginagawa niya pero kung para sayo mas matimbang parin ang pagmamahal mo then stick with him. But the moment dumating yung time na hindi mo na kaya at mapagod ka dapat willing ka rin to let go.. We just want you to have a normal relationship kaya medyo harsh mga comment namin..

Btw mahal ang games ng ps4(P2500 to 3K) so expect na hindi diyan matatapos yung gastos niya.

[Shadow Angel]

Ngayong bf/gf pa lang problem mo na ito paano pa kapag magasawa na kayo? Siguro naiisip mo rin na alangan makipaghiwalay ka dahil lang sa ganun pero kung iisipin mabuti hindi sya maliit na problema in a long run lalo ka mahihirapan. Sa ngayon ok sya sayo kasi nasa comfort zone sya. Ewan ko ha maaring hindi lahat pera lang pero ang maalala ka nya na ipagtabi man lang ng konti pera sa pangdate nyo diba parang ang sarap ng feeling na somehow naiisip ka at inaalala ka kahit na gipit sya. Hindi ko sinasabing hindi ka nya mahal or nagcacare sayo. Kaso masyado na sya naging dependent sayo para sa mga needs nya. Tapos sya ang wants nya nakukuha nya ikaw tiis. Isa sa mga ugali ng lalaki iniiwasan ko ang ganito ang hindi marunong alagaan ang sarili hindi kaya establish ang sarili. Sarili nya nga hindi kaya alagaan ang future family pa kaya diba. Wala naman masama sa magluho as long as hindi ka umaasa sa iba. Na off pa ako kasi no offer help man lang sayo ng makaaksidente ka. Sa ganyan bagay hindi ka matulungan paano pa ang ibang mas malaki.

[Girltalker2]

I followed your advice, well sort of. Dalawa kasi yung binibili kong vitamins sa kanya, one is pharmaton and the other one is yung neurogen e for his RLS.  Ako na po yung bumili ng pharmaton kasi it costs more. Hindi ko siya binilan nung b complex kasi magkano lang naman yun. Right now, his RLS is acting up and parang wala talaga siyang plano bilan yung sarili nya ng vitamins.

Sis I don't think you followed the advises ng mga sisters dito. They told you to leave the relationship as it is not healthy. But I guess you choose not to listen.  So malamang, we will just wait hanggang sa mapuno ka na sa kanya.

Sorry Sis, I'm not as kind as the others. Kapal kasi talaga ng mukha nya.
Sobra pang materialistic. Nakaka turn off.
Doesn't even know how to prioritise, para syang bata. Mas matalino pa siguro mga anak ko Kasi they know how to prioritise their health over material things.

In the Long run, isipin mo nalang ang magiging sakit ng ulo mo dyan. Early palang iyan in the relationship. Kung yung mga kinakasal nga na walang ganyang issues eh naghihiwalay, what more kayo? Either iwan mo sya or forever ka may problema.

1. Loves himself more, I don't think he considers you as something he 'wants'. Kasi normally pinag iipunan nya ang mga gusto nya na bagay

2. Sobrang materialistic, kahit pa yumanan or lumaki sweldo nya, I'm sure uunahin nya ang sports car nya kesa bilhan ka ng isang jollimeal.

3. Eats junk para makabili ng gadgets nya. Think of the long term effect of this. Yung RLS nya, if left untreated, may have further effects. Who will foot the bill for that kung kayo nagkatuluyan and di sya willing to pay for his meds?

Then sa mga kinakain nya, di malayo na magkaron din sya ng ibang sakit once he reaches his 30s/40s.

[shygirlme]

Bakit kailangan ikaw bumili ng vitamins nya sis? Kasi mahal? At di nya afford? Pero sarili nya tinitipid nya para bumili ng ps4? Naku dyan palang kaka turn off na. Kung sarili nya kaya nya tipidin, eh di for sure ikaw at future anak nyo kaya nya tipidin.

[mysterioza_me]

Let me answer you blow by blow and please don't hold it against me ok.

1. "Naiinis ako.Siguro sa sarili ko at sa kanya na rin." --mas dapat ka mainis sa saril mo because you definitely know what to do ayaw mo lang gawin

2. "hindi ko matitiis lalabas na lang kami for food" -- alam niyang hindi mo siya matitiis at pakakainin mo naman siya ng masarap sa labas so he will not bother to buy a decent food because he have you to feed him

3. "kaya di ko siya pwede dalin sa bahay for dinner" -- why? is it because your mother is against him? ako man nanay mo aayawan ko yang lalakeng yan

4. "Naiinis ako kasi feeling ko this wont end pa sa ngayon." -- if you are talking about your boyfie's financial situation, i would say forever na yan, ang luho niya. He's living waaay beyond his means.

5. "I'm weaving a more tangling web as we progress." -- alam mo naman pala e, then let go. Trust me sa una lang masakit yan pagtagal magpapasalamat ka pa na iniwan mo yan

6. "After daw ng ps4 niya, iipon daw ulit siya for an itouch ata or Basketball shoes or ano. Naiisip ko, san kaya ako isisingit don? " -- Hangga't may nakikita na pagkakaabalahang bilhin yan mas uunahin niya yun. At ang role mo is to sustain his vitamins and food.

7. "We were talking once sabi nya bibili daw siya ng shoes, I said it was superficial kasi sa akin they are just shoes. He just said I don't get it daw." -- next time na umarte ng ganyan sagutin mo "kapal mo, ako kaya nagpapakain sa iyo, kainin mo yang sapatos na yan kung ipagpipilitan mo."

8. "I followed your advice, well sort of." -- sis you did not follow any of our advice, nobody told you na bawasan ang vitamins na binibili sa bf mo, what we told you is to let him buy his own vitamins and to take care of himself because that is his responsibility.

9. "Right now, his RLS is acting up and parang wala talaga siyang plano bilan yung sarili nya ng vitamins." -- hindi niya talaga bibilhan ang sarili niya kasi alam niya na bibilhan mo siya. So its up to you kung maaawa ka sa kanya at mabibilhan mo siya ng gamot or maaawa ka sa sarili mo at itatabi mo ang pera mo para naman may mabili ka para sa sarili mo.

Are happy being broke as long as you are with your "mayabang" boyfriend?

Ang yabang kasi, ang daming gusto can't afford naman.

Peace

[momentum]

Eto lang un jeninajenina eh, HE IS NOT YOUR PRIORITY, HE WON'T PUT AN EFFORT INTO SECURING YOU/YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER, BECAUSE FOR NOW HE DOESN'T THINK YOU ARE THAT IMPORTANT TO HIM. wala pa siya sa point na yun.

Yun lang. sa totoo lang sis, ikaw lang sa inyong dalawa ang nag iisip na pang "forever" or long-term kayo. IKAW LANG. Siya? oh, he is just thinking of himself and the things he wants, and you are not included in it. sorry but that's the reality.

kung hindi mo siya maiwan, then ok, it is your choice. pero I would advice nalang to just STOP thinking way ahead into the future para sa inyong dalawa, dahil NAG-IISA ka lang nagplaplano nyan. You have to accept the fact that he is not too serious about you nor your relationship. one factor could be because bata pa kayo, he wants to buy what he wants even how superficial. eh para sa kanya it means a lot to him those material things eh, eh ikaw iba naiisip mo na important. so wag mo ng pilitin nor iexpect na he will change his point of view anytime soon. either tanggapin mo nalang na ganyan na sya till God knows when, or just walk away pag kaya mo na.

don't go expecting he will change for you. sorry pero people change pag gusto nila. and malinaw naman talaga na you nor your opinions/feelings etc. does not weigh much on him. so just go on with your life, let him do what he wants with his money, do what you want with yours, magkanya kanya kayo sa pera ninyo. utang na loob bawas bawasan mo pagiging enabler mo kasi hindi ka niya nanay. puro ka give and give, siya take ng take, hindi mo talaga nakikita? or maybe in denial ka lang. malaki na siya, kaya na niya sarili niya.

you don't have to leave him if you can't/don't want yet. just stop being the enabler. period.
uulitin ko. let him do what he wants with his money, and do what you want with yours and don't include him too just like what he does to you. tapos.

[Shadow Angel]

Feel na feel ko ang inis ng mga ka sis dito... Well kahit ako nakakaloka kasi hinahayaan ni TS na maging sugar mommy ni bf kahit na feel nya na may something off kay bf. Actually tinutulungan nya nga si bf tinutulungan maging palaasa. Kung hindi kayang hiwalayan try mo baguhin kung anong set up meron kayo in terms of financial.

[mysterioza_me]

^Tama sugar mommy, yan yung term na iniisip ko kanina. Napakabatang sugar mommy ni TS. Halos ipukpok ko ulo ko sa desk ko kanina nung mabasa ko reply ni TS. Dapat KKB na lang sila sa lahat, ang nangyayari kasi naging conjugal na yung pera ni TS pero yung kay guy para lang sa self niya. Ang pera niya sa sarili lang niya ang pera ni TS para sa kanilang 2 at sa luho ni boylet, nasaan naman ang katarungan dito. Ngayon dumiskarte si TS pero yung mas mahal na share pa din ang kanya kasi si bf madami gusto bilhin.

Wais ni boyfie, galing humanap ng gf. Malas ni gf ubos ang kabang-yaman

Peace :p

[tischarmedlife]

Share ko lang yung experience ko ha. Nung bagong mag-bf pa lang kami ng hubby ko, sya ang nagbabayad. Siguro yun first four dates namin yun, kase ayaw nya talaga magpa-share dahil sya daw ang lalake. Mas malaki din ang sweldo nya sakin so hinayaan ko knowing that he can really afford it. Pero eventually, nahiya na rin ako, so humahati na ako sa gastos. Ngayon na mag-asawa na kami, may sine-set kami na budget for dates. And hati  pa rin kami dun.

As for you TS, you should set a limitation. Kung kaya nya mag-save for ps4, bakit hindi para sa sarili nya? sa gamot/ vitamins nya? Sa tingin ko inaasahan na nya na ikaw ang mag-shoulder nun, kaya di na talaga sya bumibili for himself. And that's a warning sis. Why stay in a relationship kung may qualms ka, especially money. Sa totoo lang, factor sa isang relationship ang money and being responsible with handling it. Kung di kaya ni bf mo maging responsible financially ngayon na single pa lang sya, paano pa pag may family na sya? Ikaw lang ang kawawa sis.

[sensi]

^this

[mindiegirl]

Judging from the flow of the thread, TS won't leave the guy because he loves him, obviously, no matter what. She just need a place to vent it all out that's why she's sharing this here. That's all. Pero to actually follow the suggestions here? A BIG NO, well i guess for now.

[mysterioza_me]

^I agree with you sis. Sa nababasa ko kasi sa replies niya mukhang wala naman talagang problema na ginagastusan niya ang boyfie niya, mukhang enjoy namin. Gusto niya lang i-share na ganun setup nila. Pero kung ako sa kin lang naman to, di ko na patatagalin pagi-invest ng emotions at money sa ganyang guy. Magmove on na lang ako, hahanap ng ibang guy na hindi thick-faced at selfish

[sensi]

^true. i cant stand a user.

[pinkpassion]

To TS,   Wake UP! Ang bata mong maging sugar mommy. Uminit ulo ko sa BF mong makapal ang face ha! Ok fine, mahal mo e diba, so ok pag tiisan mo ang sitwasyon mo at sa ginagawa mong pabebe sa BF mo. Kahit ano pang payo ang sabihin namin  sayo dito, at the end of the day, ikaw pa din ang may final say. So....its your life, you make your own decision, at ikaw din ang gagawa ng sarili mong destiny.

If you think na magigiging masaya ka sa pag spoil sa kapal muks mong BF pues go ahead. Pero dear, hanggang kelan ka magtitiis sa ganyang sitwasyon? Pag isispan kong mabuti. Goodluck sa magiging future mo sa kanya. Kung merun man.

[batangpasaway]

sis mahirap makisama sa ganyang klaseng lalake. ngayun palang anluho nya na at parang nakaasa sayo paano pa sa future nyo? parang ang dating saken "user" yung bf mo. mas mahalaga sarili nya kesa sayo kase kahit naman mas kumikita ka sa kanya di parin tama na ikaw bumili ng vitamins nya at magbayad sa bills nyo sa mga dates. nung andito sa pinas bf ko half ng sweldo ko kinikita nya pero he insists to pay our bills pero syempre dahil naiintindihan ko situation nya nakikihati ako pero madalas sa kanya talaga mas malakeng share sa pagbayad. isa yun sa ways para mapakita nya kase sayo din na mahalaga ka sa kanya. kaya naku sis. wake up! maawa ka sa sarili mo. naiinis ako sa bf mo. kapal lang ha!

[ms.tj]

for dates siguro it's better na the guy will pay for everything. pero if bf/gf na siguro naman girls should have the initiative to pay sometimes or maki share man lang sa bill.