Sama ng loob during wedding preps

[Purple_Power]

  Naiintindihan ko na hindi talaga maaappreciate ng iba manood ng SDE or mga photo videos nang hindi naman kilala. Kasi in other sense nakakabored rin naman. Pero if you are into visuals and you want to see the quality kung paano ang treatment nila to other clients, lalo na kung ito ay non celebrity then of course ako preferred ko rin tingnan yung hindi ko kilala or non celebrity kesa sa mga famous na halata namang mas ginagandahan ang quality in order for them to promote. Nakakaappreciate rin naman ako sa mga SDE na hindi ko kilala tapos nagbibigay rin ako ng criticisms like example hindi naman mga mukhang celebrity pero nagawang ng video editing na hindi na sila mukhang mga pilit or trying hard. Meron pa nga maganda naman kaso hindi rin naman nadala sa image.

[stylus]

good thing maaasahan ko si h2b magbigay ng comments, suggestions, violent reactions. Ako nga lang taga search ng options 3-5 suppliers. Sinasabi ko kung sino bet ko amongst the 5. Search nya din reviews sa bawat isa. At may mga suppliers na gusto ko na di nya inapprove. May mga special instructions din sya specifically for otd coordinators, lights and sound and p/v teams na ididiscuss namin during final turn over.

Kahit nga hmua artist ko tinanong nya kung sino. And i was like "ooops. Nabook ko na.. wag ka kokontra!" Nagshopping kami ng shoes.. sya pumili ng shoes ko. Pero up to me ofcourse kung comfortable ako ilakad. Happy naman ako sa ganung way ramdam ko na kasal "namin" ito. Sa diy lang talaga sya di maasahan. Taga gupit taga dikit lang

[120515]

my husband is also a "yes" groom but he gave me a very good reason - i am more familiar with the suppliers in my hometown and he trusts my judgment. being the control freak that i am, making all the decisions was great for me. i think i just showed him the excel sheet of the budget and the list of suppliers i was planning to book a few weeks after we got engaged and he was fine with it.

but on some areas where he could give a valid opinion, he did. for example, he helped me choose the menu and he made comments on the food during the food tasting and the caterer made changes accordingly. also, he helped me make/finish all our DIYs like the backdrops and the table decorations 

[shygirlme]

Ako naman sa P/V talaga sya na involve since yun ang forte nya. The rest ako na pero I asked him muna tapos go basta pasok sa budget. I remember yun Florist na una namin kinuha super bothered talaga ko akala ko magagalit sya baka sabihin sinayang yung 2k na downpayment. Pero sabi nya kung nag aalangan ka go hanap ka na iba. kesa pumalpak pa. and yun nga a day before the wedding tumawag pa yun old florist namin to confirm what time idedeliver next day yung flowers tawa sya ng tawa kasi na cancelled na and nag ok po sila buti nalang daw hindi kinuha. and the best feeling after the wedding? sinabi nya the best day ever super ok lahat ng nakuha namin supplier. Super proud sya sakin. Takot ko lang talaga may pumalpak kasi most ng budget is from him. ayoko makarinig na di nya nagustuhan hehe .

[Missus O]

Sumasama yung loob ko sa MIL ko. Nabalitaan nya kasi na nagwowork ng 2 jobs yung asawa ko. Tapos minsan pumapasok sya ng 10 days straight. I keep telling him naman to slow down a bit. Although sya yung may gusto, sayang daw kasi yung offer, plus low census kasi sila now sa original job nya kaya need nya yung second job at times. Plus mas malaki ang sahod pag per diem ( per day job).   We are planning on buying a home this year kasi. Plus we are getting married in June. As of present I am not working. I just moved here (LA) last June. I moved here from London. When I was working, I worked straight sometimes for upto 3 weeks. 

So nabasa ko yung mga PM's nya sa asawa ko. Ang gist ng PM nya eh, nagpapalpitaye daw sya kasi nabalitaan nya na 7 days nagwowork yung asawa ko. Na baka daw kasi sobrang engrande ng kasal namin. Na sana daw di na kami dapat mag church wedding at dapat daw yung money eh yun na lang yung ipapang bili namin ng house.

Naiintindihan ko naman yumg concern nya pero naaasar ako kasi:
1.  Nung nagpapalano kami ng mga PS, originally we wanted only 5. Ang gusto nya kunin namin ang friends nya karamihan (kahit na hindi namin kakilala or kaclose) at ang suggestion nya eh maglagay lang kami ng names at kung saan tumigil, ganun kadami yung pairs ng PS namin. We told her na the maximum pairs will just be 8.

2. Sya yung panay suggest na mag Mahogany garden or bakit hindi na lang daw sa Fernbrook yung kasal namin. Kami nga yung umayaw kasi we wanted it to be an intimate number. Kaya nga kami sa bed and breakfast mag rereception eh.

3. She was the one who complained bakit ang konti ng guests kasi we reiterated na tig 75 lang per family.

I guess sumasama yung loob ko kasi parang lumalabas eh puros yung husband ko lang ang may pera. And even after our wedding, ang plan kasi naman eh to concentrate on having a family first and i'll be a stay at home wife. Gusto ko din kasi na hands on ako sa child rearing. And kung kukunin namin sila, I would rather get my mum than her simply because I have seen my mum take care of a child, sya walang pasensya and nakikita ko na na mag spospoil lang. Kaya naasar ako habang nababasa ko mga exchanges nila.  Gusto ko magbutt in sana dun sa chat time nila na I may be unemployed currently pero I have my own money despite the fact na I haven't worked  these past 6 months. I do not ask money from my husband pag nagpapadala ako ng money sa Pinas kasi I made sure bago ako umalis ng London na I will have sufficient funds kaya I too worked straight. Sometimes upto 21 days straight (and then after nun mega annual leave na). Gusto ko sabihin da kanya na I did my work na. My husband ngayon lang sya nag dodouble job kasi better opportunity na. Kasi dati single sya, so malaki ang kaltas ng tax nya. Ngayon married na sya plys unployed wife, so kahit na mas mataas ang tax nya mababawasan pa din yun.

Sumasama lang yung loob ko kasi we were the ones who were trying to tell her na we wanted a simple but very elegant wedding. Tapos ngayon kami yung lumalabas na gastador or something.

I haven't even told her na we are no longer using her pashmina shawls as PS giveaways. Kaya I'm sure.magiging issue yun. Don't get me wrong. Hindi ako mapagmataas sa MIL ko. Meron kasing issue sa mga in-laws ko. They like giving old stuffs. I don't know if it's ukay bought or talagang matagal lang na nakatago sa baul, pero yun yung napansin namin ng mum ko,  tuwing nagbibigay sya sa akin ng damit. Maganda naman yung mga damit in fairness pero, yun lang nga, alam mong hindi bago. It didn't make me think any less of her. Pero ayoko naman may masabi yung ibang PS namin sa amin, because it will reflect on us too.

I'm sorry kung mahaba na ito. I just needed to vent it out. Sa mga nabore, pasenshya na. If this is too trivial, pasensya na.

[belle_v2g]

I understand where you're coming from sis missusO. I had almost the same experience but it was with my mum so it's easier to deal with. It's tricky with MIL since we don't want to be in a bad light with them. As much as possible, gusto natin smooth ang relationship with in laws kaya I guess tama lang na you didn't butt in with their conversation. Let your husband do the explaining, that's her mum naman, he knows best how to deal with her.

[Missus O]

^Thanks sis belle_v2g.  We had a misunderstanding na before, kaya now I prefer it na my husband is the one who speaks with her. Ako naman respectful pa din kahit may inis and sama ng loob inside.  I am blessed na pinagtatanggol naman ako ng hubby ko. Even just to say na he hasn't shelled out anything for the wedding yet (except for the rings). At least dun man lang malaman nya na I do have money, and except for the rings, hati kami sa gastusan ng hubby ko. I guess, inside yung pride ko din nasasaktan. I am still fuming. I even cried sa hubby ko. Sabi nya hayaan mo na lang. Sya naman daw bahala.

[Chili1113]

hi Missus O!! Hang in there. You MIL's reaction is very typical and expected of any mom who found out her kid is working more than usual to save up. Belle_v2g ia right. Just let your husband be the one to deal with his mom and explain his reasons for working more now. Especially the conversation was between the two of them.

In-laws really tend to scrutinize the spending habits and lifestyle of the wife- even if they are the best, nicest, most loving in-laws-- lagi may comment yan when it comes to gastos. So just don't take it personally nalang. And I am sure it will all be better soon once she gets all the details and reasons from your husband.

[belle_v2g]

^hang on sis missusO, correct me if I'm wrong, is this the MIL who was recommending another designer to you na ayaw mo? or baka ibang bride yung tinutukoy ko. I get everything mixed up sa dami ng nagpopost ng sama ng loob hehe!!

Hopefully, MIL will soon realise na walang masama if her son has 2 different jobs. Imo, parang she's trying to say na naghihirap magtrabaho ang anak nya samantalang ikaw nasa bahay lang. Di lang nya madiretso pero that's what she really meant. I find nothing wrong with that.. May share ka din naman sa expenses, and you have family to support too. Besides, your MIL should know better--Ang asawang lalake talaga ang magtatrabaho para sa pamilya nya. {That's biblical. Hehe} Kulang lang sa info si mother about sa situation nyo so sana once napaliwanag na ni hubby ang side nyo ay maging ok na rin sya. Cheer up sis!

[Missus O]

^ hahaha.. @chili1113, thanks for the kind words. My husband told me, na even if he works 2 jobs naman daw, he leaves at 7 am, comes home at 8 pm or earlier, with 1.5 hours travel inbetween. Which is like the same naman daw kaw kung nasa Pinas ka. The only thing is he is earning more money. Which is something na hindi narerealize. Anyways.. just ranting out. hehe

[120515]

power hug, sis missus o! i think sis belle_v2g and sis chili1113 have both given sage advice and there's nothing much i can add. just wanted to let you know that we understand and you're not alone.

[yannuh]

^hugsss Missus O. Saka baka nag eemote lang din si mother dear ni hubby, alam naman natin na halos lahat ng moms ganyan, di pa ready ilet go ang babies nila kaya kung ano anong nakikita at nagiging extra sensitive pagdating sa anak nila:) communication is the key and agree with other sissies here, let your hubby do the talking:) suporta lang lagi and if need mo ng iexplain ang side mo, maging kalmado para di lumaki ang misunderstanding if ever meron man.

[Missus O]

@120515 - thanks sis

@belle-v2g - yes I am that person.   😢😢😢  and totoo yung sinasabi mo. It just really irks me ba. Yung pwedi naman naming sabihin na may money na para sa kasal pero we didn't. Meron pa ding savings and still have some savings. He is just trying to provide more for our family.  Which is what we have agreed upon, that I will stop work and move here and we'll concentrate on starting our own family. Haayy... basta... Eto nga, I saw their chat kanina. She said na nagpadala daw sya ng souvenirs so we can take a look at them. My hubby already said na meron na kami and I am making small totes. Sabi we could have it as additional. Parang hello!

[Missus O]

@yannuh - thanks sis  

Really appreciate all the virtual support. Just needed to unload it. Thanks for listening... or reading my boring dilemmas hehe

[lourd3ss]

missus O virtual hugs! I think your husband should tell her mother to consult with the two of you first before doing anything/ making decisions related to your wedding. I mean her suggestions are welcome pero it doesn't give her the right to butt in to your decision making. For sure magtatampo si MIL if you don't include the souvenirs she picked out at your wedding but she should've asked you in the first place if you needed help picking out souvenirs. Hang in there!

[stylus]

Share ko lang mga sis.. 2 sa secondary sponsors na lalaki ay super friends ko nung high school. Medyo badtrip lang ako dun sa isa. Kasi sinabihan ko naman sila na kukunin ko silang abay. Pero sa viber group naming 3, yung mga reactions nya like "ano meron?" "Nasa abroad ako nun" pero alam kong joke kasi ganun naman talaga sya.

Nung sinabi ko kung anong details, attire etc.. yung mga reply nya.. hehe" samantalang yung isa maayos talaga kausap. May mga inputs pa.

Dahil 2 weeks na lang before wedding, nagviber ako ulit kanina sa kanila sabi ko "call time sa hotel is 10am. Sabay sabay na tayo magllunch dun. At para sabay sabay na rin papuntang church after p/v shoot" ang reply nya "ahhh.. basag pako nun"

Ayaw ko sabihin kay h2b kasi baka magalit sya sa friend ko. Pero naiinis nako talaga.. nagdadalawang isip naman ako kausapin nang seryoso yung friend ko kasi baka nagbibiro pa rin sya hanggang ngayon, maawkwardan lang kami sa isat isa pag sinabi ko na na naiinis ako..

[pogi02]

^Hi sis stylus! Since tingin ko naman is very close kayo, drop him a call. Tell him na umayos sya sa kasal mo with matching biro na approach. Daanin mo lang sa kalokohan din. Alam mo naman mga guy friends. Then ibilin mo sya dun sa isa nyong friend na mas nakakaintindi, sya na kamo bahala, kelangan mabitbit nya on time yung friend nyong yun. I believe he will show up naman, may pagka-pasaway nga lang.

[Chili1113]

I have "sama ng loob" now, but it is not because anyone did or said anything that offended me.

My "sama ng loob" is with my reception venue!! Super pangit ng food during food tasting catered by Hizon's, their one and only in-house caterer. Anyway I am getting the most upgraded/premium package from the old menu and I need to pay P2050 per head.

BUT ETO NA... whaaaaa... I asked Hizon's directly for a quotation for almost the EXACT same menu, and WOW..... P1100 lang ang quote ng Hizon's!!!

Just super feel bad but I cannot do anything talaga.

[Missus O]

^ oh dear... parang nakaka sama nga ng loob.. can you not talk to anybody sis? Owner or director of MP club?

[Chili1113]

^Thanks for the concern Missus O! Nako I don't want to talk to management na because well, those are really the prices they have, and I have accepted the fact that I have to comply with it. In fact, I am ordering pa from the old menu with the old 2014 prices. My gosh the new prices released in 2015 are even more expensive. I just cannot help being disappointed, especially since the AE is so difficult to contact pa. Hay