Hubby Problem

[csj]

Hi, guys.  It's my first time to post in here - I just didn't know who to confide this with.  I'm 7 months pregnant and married to my husband for 11 months now.  We've been together for 9 years before getting married.  Yesterday, I just had a gut feel to check on his Facebook account and found out that most of his recent searches were all naked/sexy girls with public profiles and all.  I felt cheated on, especially that these girls are all Filipina (somehow, I feel it would've been better if it were some sexy famous celebrities instead) announcing their mobile numbers on their pages where they can be contacted.  I don't know if I should blame the pregnancy hormones but I am so paranoid thinking what if he's been in touch with some of them and I just didn't know?  I confided him last night and all he said was "Sige, di na ko titingin kung ayaw mo."  He didn't apologize nor provided explanation.  I really felt hurt, thinking here I am going through this sensitive pregnancy and there he was, checking out naked girls in Facebook (and who knows what else he could be doing).  What hurts most is that all throughout our relationship, I thought he's not like those type of guys but I guess I was wrong

Right now, I'm finding it hard to act normal as if nothing happened.  I don't know what to do, how to act whenever he's around kasi nawalan ako ng gana to be my old self again sa kanya.  Any insight/s or advise/s from you guys is greatly appreciated  
 

[aquacharly]

Normal men always have curious & roving eyes.  But, they should know up to what point lang pander to their curiosity.

It's an issue of trust. He said that since he knows you dislike this type of activity - titigil nya.  Do you trust him enough to accept that at face value?  You expected him to apologize and explain -- which he did not do -- so you really do not know him (or you're in denial) that well.  The sooner you stop expecting him to behave as per whatever blueprint you have in your mind -- the better.  Not that you will just let him do what he wants.  But that if you look at him objectively -- you will understand him better & be able to see how you can bring out the best in him.  Parang he will be convinced he should never cross the line.  Look, but do not touch kung baga. 

[1choi_ko9]

Haayy...Men are men...and they will think wala sila ginagawang mali...most of the time jinajustify pa nila na ang ginagawa nila ay hindi cheating. Because for them, as long as hindi sila nakikipag sex or kiss dito sa girl na to hindi yon cheating sakanila at wala raw mali don for them, wala sila kasalanan at hindi nila maintindihan bakit umiinit ulo natin kapag nagbabrowse sila ng ibat ibang klase ng babae, nanood ng porn, may katext mate, may kaclose na ka office mate etc... BOYS! Ganyan talaga sila..

Kaya lang...syempre sa atin babae may mali. Lalo na sa sanctity ng marriage yung mga ginagawa nila is big NO!

Pero tama si sis aquacharly, the issue is trust. Ang masakit lang dyan, sasabihin nila kung ano lang ang gusto natin marinig but that doesn't mean they will stop what they are doing because for sure at the back of their minds ang malaking question nila...ano ginawa kong mali? Hindi nila iisipin na mali ginagawa nila... kaya walang sorry

Ang concern ko and i know concern mo rin,, hindi mo maisip na magagawa eto nung taong pinagkatiwalaan mo for 9 years. I know masakit. Tapos magkakaron na kayo ng anak. Sis need mo lang ibuild trust mo sa asawa mo but dont expect na hindi na nya gagawin yon. Remind mo lang sya from time to time na hindi magada ginagawa nya and nasasaktan ka... In time marerealize nya na yung ginagawa nya ay nasasaktan ka at ititigil na nya yon. Pero it takes time ha kaya wag ka mag expect na mabilis ang realization... Take care

[j.adore]

Haayy...Men are men...and they will think wala sila ginagawang mali...most of the time jinajustify pa nila na ang ginagawa nila ay hindi cheating. Because for them, as long as hindi sila nakikipag sex or kiss dito sa girl na to hindi yon cheating sakanila at wala raw mali don for them, wala sila kasalanan at hindi nila maintindihan bakit umiinit ulo natin kapag nagbabrowse sila ng ibat ibang klase ng babae, nanood ng porn, may katext mate, may kaclose na ka office mate etc... BOYS! Ganyan talaga sila..

This is true. I think the difference between a man and a woman comes in here.

Lalo na sa sanctity ng marriage yung mga ginagawa nila is big NO!

Wish ko lang sana nagkaroon ng seminar about this. Usually kasi more on family planning and relationship with each other. Wala masyado relationships with other people or how to act once married. Kaya nga life event ang pagpapakasal kasi your life will definitely change and not all old habits should enter one's married life.

Pero tama si sis aquacharly, the issue is trust. Ang masakit lang dyan, sasabihin nila kung ano lang ang gusto natin marinig but that doesn't mean they will stop what they are doing because for sure at the back of their minds ang malaking question nila...ano ginawa kong mali? Hindi nila iisipin na mali ginagawa nila... kaya walang sorry

This! They will only say things you need to hear to end the argument but will not follow thru with actions.

Sis need mo lang ibuild trust mo sa asawa mo but dont expect na hindi na nya gagawin yon. Remind mo lang sya from time to time na hindi magada ginagawa nya and nasasaktan ka... In time marerealize nya na yung ginagawa nya ay nasasaktan ka at ititigil na nya yon. Pero it takes time ha kaya wag ka mag expect na mabilis ang realization... Take care

Define time to time?
It's hard to build trust again when at the back of your mind, you don't really know if he's stopped. Pero no choice talaga.. Dagdag na lang din faith and prayers to help you.

[lexi_girl]

Caught my hubby din flirting with some married chick before. Water under the bridge nanaman, forgave him na. But for him to realize na what he did was wrong was to tell him to put himself in my shoes. What if ako ang nahuli niyang nakikipagtextmate at nakikipaglandian with some guy, what would he feel? Sa tingin niya tama ba yun? Ayun shut up siya dahil alam niyang masakit pag nagawa ko yun. 😤

[Girltalker2]

Pag BF mo palang yung guy, di ba lumalabas na ang tendency nya na makipag flirt sa ibang babae?

Or do they change? Dahil sa friends/work? Na bored sa wife kasi less exciting na for them?

Kasi Kung BF mo palang tapos ganyan umasta, it just shows di pa sya ready mag asawa. So better not get married or just simply ditch him. There are men naman na matino at mature mag isip.
Tapos Kung marunong naman Kasi sila mag isip, why get married and hurt someone kung gusto pa nila makipag flirt que online or in person?

[karenvillaflor]

for me naman yung usually problem ng mga wife sa husband nila is lagi nag iinom. bisyo na nya talaga yun minsan di sya nakakapasok inom lang ng inom

[mooncake and leaves]

since you're pregnant, my guess is you're not having sex, right? or are you?

if you're not having sex or more to the point, if you haven't been having sex for awhile... is it really surprising if he's a little randier than usual? i'm not saying his behavior is acceptable. i'm just saying that his search history is not the entire story. you don't know if he has actually contacted or gone out with these women.

to me, if he says he's not going to look anymore, the only thing you can really do is take him for his word. if you trust him to be a decent person, don't let one mishap invalidate the last decade of your relationship especially since you have no proof that he has cheated on you. i'm afraid trusting him is the only option you have at the moment if you want peace of mind.