Hubby and Yaya

[The Lioness]

I have a 5-month old son my hubby is completely smitten with. A month ago, kumuha kami ng yaya. Dad ko actually ang nakahanap sa kanya from the province. I'm so aware of hubby-yaya stuff because the sad truths are everywhere. Now when my dad told me she's 18 (My hubby and I are both 30), I kind of worried. I would wanna know how she looks like first because agreeing to send her here in Manila pero naunahan ako ng hiya sa dad ko. I don't wanna sound so paranoid. And I dont want my dad thinking na my hubby maybe capable of going for the yaya. (My hubby has a history of women na pinagsasabay sabay nya.  That's why I'm always on the lookout. Sad to say.) So hinatid nila sya dito. The girl is just a kid. She doesnt really look like the kind my husband would be interested in. But since nag rerent lang kasi kami dito. And we only have a one-bedroom unit apartment, I still worry about proximity since she sleeps in the sala and I have work at night. (my hubby works in the morning). There's no one else in the house but them. Si yaya is about a month na with us. Napansin ko, mejo ilang sya sakin. May mga times na feeling ko parang di sya nakikinig, or she's not just lively talking to me. My husband said I do have that aura na people with a weaker personality will just stoop down and get intimidated. Though I am trying my best not to be maldita-looking (which is Im not). Mejo close sila ni hubby. Like they laugh,  poke jokes at each other. And one thing more, kapag ako ang kausap nya, lagi syang may "po" sa sentences nya. But kapag si hubby, wala. She calls him kuya but that's it. When my hubby calls her name, she'll answer "Bakit?" while kapag ako tumatawag "bakit po" ang sagot nya. Also i observe her everytime we eat. I do look at her in my peripherals para di nya mahalata. There are times na nakatingin sya sa asawa ko. And kanina over dinner, My husband actually asked "O bakit ka nakatingin sa akin?"

I dont know if it's just me, if im paranoid or what. But i dont know, I cant help it. Anyone experienced  the same? what to do? how to deal?

[dara_01]

^give your hubby the benefit of the doubt.  minsan na-ooffend ang mga husband kapag naghihinala ang mga wife sa husband-yaya affair.  is your hubby ba talaga capable na patulan ang yaya?  medyo over think mo lang siguro kaya negative ang naiisip mo.  trust your husband, pero cyempre watchful ka parin. try to look at more concrete evidence first pero wag pahalata. sabi nga nila wives are the best FBI agents pagdating sa mga hubby nila.

pero minsan hindi natin alam, meron mga yaya na bigay motive, pa-pampam sa amo na lalake. yan careful ka sa mga ganyan.  kapag nakakita ka ng signs ng kalandian si yaya.  pauwin na yan....

[izabelle]

sis, mahirap na ikaw mismo ay hindi comfortable or at peace sa sarili mong bahay. If I were you, kung talagang wala kang peace of mind sa situation, hanap ka nalang ng ibang yaya, like mas matanda sa inyo imbes na mas bata.

Ang hirap kasi nung wala kang peace of mind sa tunay na nangyayari e.

[j.adore]

Find another yaya stat!
Reason mo for changing is di siya nakikinig sayo hehe or find another reason why.

Don't tell your family or your husband about it tutal too early pa to tell. Normal naman for men to be joking with other people. If you really need to gauge your husband, pwede mo joke na crush siya ng yaya and see how he reacts.

I agree that it's your house and if something makes you uncomfortable, address the problem.

[momentum]

If I were in your shoes sis, I will change that yaya ASAP.
Night shift ka, morning shift si hubby = silang dalawa lang at night.
so many things could happen while you are gone, while baby is asleep
I will not wait until lumala pa ang suspetcha ko. alam mo naman ang mga yaya ngayon, lalo at that age? nako, sorry pero I have encountered a lot fo yayas na ganyan ang age at para silang in-heat parati. actually kahit nga late 20's eh laging in-heat parin.

mas lalo na because your husband had a colorful history. I don't blame your paranoia, I would be too.
sis lesson learned mo dapat na never get a maid in their teens, they are really bad news believe me.
wala pa ako na-encounter na matinong maid in their teens. more so early 20's
get a maid preferable 30+. yan mejo mature na yan at mas focused na sa trabaho kasi yung mga batang maid eh puro kalandian lang at laro2x lang sa work since usually wala pa silang sariling family na binubuhay.

[junetwentythree]

Tell me again why you married this guy who has such a 'colorful' past? If you're not able to get past his history, how is there even trust in your relationship? It won't matter who comes into your lives, you'll be paranoid all the time. Changing yayas isn't going to do anything and by the way, where there's a will, there's a way. If that is the case.

I say you need to learn to trust your husband. He is after all going to be around much longer.

[supermom18]

sis The Lioness trust your instincts!! kakaiba ang instinct ng mga babae, lalo kung kilala mo naman sarili mo na di ka naman nappraning lagi and ngayon ka lang nakaramdam ng ganyan.. iba kasi yung pag alam mo na paranoid ka lang at yung alam mo na iba tong nararamdaman ko..
pero if you know you can trust your husband then ther's no need to worry..
so let's say that you've given your hubby the benifit of the doubt, mas maganda padin na look for signs/limit talaga, then pag na meet yung sign/limit mo then make a move, remember prevention is better than cure, luckily ang lahat ng nagiging yaya namin eh kamag anak ni husband, mga malalayong pinsan pamangkin...
goodluck sis

[simpleemie]

I spy mo sis kunwari pumasok ka sa work pero hindi naman. ☺

[red_yesha]

Kung nagdududa ka hanap ka na ng ibang yaya para sa ikakapanatag ng kalooban mo.

[momentum]

puwede kasi na you trust your husband, lalo na if he has changed his ways, but you don't trust that maid na wala siyang gagawing moves. you don't know rin how your husband will behave kapag put in a very tempting situation. and more so if that maid has also her share of a colorful past. you don't know her background completely..
 
alam mo naman ang lalake, sabi nga nila kapag lumapit na ang palay, it is very hard for them to resist.
her being familiar with your husband (Walang po, nakikipag biruan, nakatitig parati) eh all of those are red flags na sis, it's not to be taken lightly.

go and start looking for a replacement asap.
don't just sit down and wait for some other red flags to appear. nip it in the bud.

[Pink_Sugar]

Maglagay ka ng secret camera sis.

Yung dad ng co-work ko na nasa 50's na nililikot yung yaya ng baby nya, ayun nagpaalam tuloy yung yaya, wala na yaya baby nya.

[avitot]

go home earlier than your usual time. like mag half day ka and dont tell your hubby too. makikita mo naman sa reaction kung magugulat mga yan na napa aga uwi mo e.

pero trust your hubby din before anything else. Kilala mo naman siguro hubby mo.  if naamoy mo na malansa na talaga nako girl, chupi yaya na yan!

[babymom20]

install cctv that you can monitor via your mobile. or if you can get another yaya, do so.

[smoothie]

I'll be cautious sis. May kakilala ako, kung makapagsabi or makapintas sa yaya ang ending, kabit niya ang yaya niya.

Lalo na yan, "fresh" galing province at bata. Madaling mauto pa yan.

We have a yaya as well, pero ang husband ko never nag-iinteract masyado sa mga naging yaya ko namin. Very civil lang. Tipong may iuutos lang. 

[mikaelavhan]

sis, mahirap na ikaw mismo ay hindi comfortable or at peace sa sarili mong bahay. If I were you, kung talagang wala kang peace of mind sa situation, hanap ka nalang ng ibang yaya, like mas matanda sa inyo imbes na mas bata.

Ang hirap kasi nung wala kang peace of mind sa tunay na nangyayari e.

ganyan din advice ko sis,.hirap kaya ng ganyan..habang asa work ka ,wala kang peace of mind..isip ka ng isip na baka ano nang ginagawa nila dun..to think na may history pa ang hubby mo ..hindi sa nangagatong , pero kahit ako mapaparanoid.better paalisin mo na asap .
 
curious ako sis, ano hitsura ni yaya?bukod sa mukang bata lang siya.

[Pink_Sugar]

Naalala ko tuloy si Ben Affleck, infairness di mukhang nanny si inday.

[three8one]

find another job. yung morning shift para mawala ang worries mo during nasa work ka at night.

kailangan mo lang i let go yung past ni husband, kaya ka parang napaparanoid dahil ikaw mismo nakukulong dun sa nakaraan nya.

[Purple_Power]

install cctv that you can monitor via your mobile. or if you can get another yaya, do so.

I agree with this to have more evidence. Hindi pa kasi enough yung mga gestures eh! baka kasi minsan malay mo hanggang dun lang naman pala yun. But since there's already history about your husband then I can't blame you. Be also vigilant kung ano mga kilos niya at pag uugali kapag kaharap ka.

Meron sa amin naging ganito, suspicious kabit ng Tatay ko. Long story about dito sa Yaya ng niece ko. But here's the summary. Gusto niyang makapag aral dito sa Manila but not her own finances kundi gusto niyang may gumastos para sa pag aaral niya. Supposed to be relatives niya, so umalis siya sa amin bragging na pag aaralin raw siya ng relatives niya. Unfortunately because of her attitude inayawan siya ng mga relatives niya at hindi tinuloy na pag aralin siya ng libre. So nagpumilit siyang bumalik dito by texting my Dad at pinalalabas niya na pinahihirapan lang raw siya run. So here we go my Dad begged too much to my bro na finance yung pag aaral niya. So nakapag aral nga kaso dun nagsimula yung totoong pagkatao niya. Lumaki ulo niya inaway pa niya ako mga kapitbahay na katulong rin basta marami nang issue. Naging teacher na siya eh di lalo lumaki ulo niya. Pinanghihimasukan niya yung problema namin sa pamilya. Pinagdabugan ako lahat ng mga tao sa bahay at parati siya nagwawala. Lastly Mama ko na nagrereklamo about her. kasi pala that maid is flirting my dad talaga tapos nagpalibre pa ng ipad samantalang sa Tatay ko hindi ako makahiling ng kung ano kapag may hinihingi ako sa Mama ko galit pa tatay ko. She was even featured sa Failon Ngayon about Kasambahay Bill eh di super flattered siya. Mga gamit sa bahay sinisira niya I even emailed the DSWD and DOLE kung ano ang gagawin dito sa nagwawalang maid dahil diskumpyado ako na baka pagbalingan pati baby ko. Up to the point pinalayas na siya ng bro ko dahil sa away ng parents ko about her.

Ayokong mag advise basta but since may experience ang Mama ko about this and naging involve ako dahil inaway rin ako ng maid na yan nandahil lang pala she is flirting with my dad, then ang masasabi ko is make confrontation with that maid direchahin mo kung she is flirting with hubby para maintimidate.

[Evolet027]

Kapal ng mukha ng yaya na yan ha!

Sis Lioness, kung pinaghihinalaan mo na or may masama kang kutob, palitan mo na agad. Kesa maghintay ka pa ng ibang evidences. If makakuha ka ng evidences, ibig sabihin, me flirting nga na nangyayari, kaya dapat ngayon pa lang nagsisimula, alisin na.

[super bratinella]

Regarding the po and opo, I think kasi comfortable na si yaya sa hubby mo kaya ganun siya, like in our house mga cousins ni hubby nakikitira sa amin at ang yaya namin walang po at opo kay hubby pero sa akin halos after ng word may po at opo at lahat sila kasi nga medyo maldita looking din ako, pero that does not mean may something..

Pero kung titingin tingin pa si yaya sa hubby mo pa cute ba siya I think your hubby will say it loud kung may malisya siya, so malinis naman na yaya lang  trato ng hubby mo sa kanya pero kung may iba kang feeling then go palitan mo na agad at mag hanap ng ibang yaya..