Babymaker

[jelly_ace]

I can't help but comment on here sis kasi parang ako nahihirapan para sayo.

Lahat na nasabi na nila and I know you know the right thing to do. Ganun talaga TS ang buhay sa mundo. Sa isang iglap, isang kurap anything can happen and everything will change. Wala talaga permanente. Kelangan lang magpakatatag tayo sa lahat ng hamon ng buhay. Kelangan umaksyon para may mangyari.

As one of our sis said your husband needs space. Kelangan nya mahimasmasan para maliwanagan siya sa kamundunhan nya. Tama rin isang sis na nagsabi ayaw nya na sa kanya manggaling ang decision kasi nga he wanted to put all the blame on you. Parang it's your choice ha walang sisihan yan ang drama nya.

Accept it sis na immature ang asawa mo and he will never take that responsibility. Kaya ikaw na ang magdecide.

I know this is going to be difficult that's why you need to pray sis and ask for courage. Reach out to your friends and family. You will need a shoulder to cry on para mailabas mo ang sama ng loob mo.

TS wag ka manghinayang sa eight years. Manghinayang ka sa future mo if you will choose to stay.

Sige na sis (yes I'm pleading hehe!) ikaw na magdecide to separate ways. Kung nahimasmasan na siya and he realized he loves you more than anything he will come back to you. If he doesn't, then thank you for the wonderful eight years, it's time to move on.

[iwannabeasupermodel]

He says he loves me still but that I hurt him by not trusting him.  Di pa nga daw nya ginagawa, nagpapaalam pa lang sya, pero di ko na agad matanggap at kung ano ano daw iniisip ko.

My god, is he even hearing the words he was saying?

[chubbelita]

Sorrry, medyo harsh. Seriously, anong point para magdecide? Di pa ba obvious? Get out. ASAP. Iwan ka naman ng konting pagmamahal at konting katinuan sa sarili mo.

[Evolet027]

AGREE. Wala ng dapat pang hintayin na signs or whatever pang reason. Leave him. If he wants to come back, don't ever accept him. Hindi na maaalis sa kanya yang kagustuhan nyang magka anak. Let him na magka anak sa bar girl na yun and don't ever accept him pag nanganak na sya dala dala ang bata.

[midnight]

Girltalk really needs a 'LIKE' button.

Dear TS, nasabi na ng lahat dito ang dapat mong gawin, and I believe you know in yourself the right thing to do. But again, talking about something, and taking action are two very different things. Siguro sa ngayon nahihirapan ka pa umaksyon dahil natatakot ka. Your feelings are very valid naman. Mag-isa ka sa buhay mo, your friends are far away, feeling mo mawawala lahat.

But that's not true, you still have God, you still have yourself, you WILL make new friends, you WILL find a way out. By walking away from this confused husband of yours, you are not destroying your marriage, you are giving him time to clear his head, to make this decision on his own. Sorry but medyo walang b@y@g husband mo, passing on a decision that he knows is wrong to you, just to justify it. I *hate* people who do that.

So there, that's my 2 cents worth. You can tell his parents whom I believe you are close to, once you've made a decision to move out and give him space. Para lang at least malinaw ang rason diba. Mahirap na mabaligtad. Love and Light to you sis. Kaya natin yan. :*

[swiTsuplada]

Hindi dahil sa sa 'yo nanggaling ang pakikipaghiwalay e nasa 'yo na automatic ang sisi ng pagkakasira ng relasyon nyo. Alam mo sa sarili mo na nasira na ang relasyon nyo nang pinili niyang magkaanak kesa pahalagahan ang marriage nyo.

Ikaw na lang ang nagmamahal sis. Kung mahal ka nang asawa mo, hinding-hindi niya iisiping makipagsiping sa iba para lang magkaanak. Isa pa, kaya mo bang mag-alaga ng batang galing sa kalokohan ng asawa mo? Pag nagawa niya na minsan, pwede niya na gawing excuse ulit yan sa susunod.

Ang galing niya mang-guilt trip ha. Gawin bang excuse na nagpapaalam siya sa 'yo. Subukan niya kamo magpaalam sa nanay niya kundi siya batukan sa baluktot niyang katwiran. At siya pa ang nagagalit na wala kang "trust" sa kanya?! Ano bang pinag-uusapan nyo-- di ba plano lang naman niyang makipaglandian sa p0kp0k? Yun lang ba ang ka-level mo?!

Think hard sis. Eight years of being in a relationship is going to be empty kung naghohold on ka na lang dahil sa salitang "sayang" and not because of "love".

[hunny_ally]

I think your myoma diagnosis is quite recent. And maybe, to give your husband the benefit of the doubt, that is his way of coping with the news. He's think way too ahead that he's being irrational (although, by experience men are generally more rational than women in times like this. Women tend to be too emotional). Thinking the "what-ifs" clouds his judgment. Did the doctor really say that you cannot have a child? Even with medical intervention? Baka hindi ninyo pa na-explore yan. Talk to him. Explain to him that him having a child with another woman would mean that the child won't be yours biologically. Don't bring up the possibility that that may lead to a full-blown affair. Of course, magiging defensive yan. Tell him it's not about you having your way. But it's about reaching a decision wherein both parties will be happy with it. You're not talking about having a pet na kapag later on eh nagsawa kayo or you feel that you cant handle it anymore, eh puwede mo na ipamigay. Once you have a child, it is a lifetime commitment. Ask yourself: will you really be happy in raising your husband's child with another woman?

[Girltalker2]

Nung pinaguusapan namin ang hiwalayan, gusto nya sa akin manggaling. Ako magdecide.  Sinabi ko na sa kanya na he's free to decide if he wants to stay sa marriage namin o ayaw na nya.  Ayokong sa akin manggaling kasi I want him to take responsibility sa pagsira nya ng marriage namin.  If maghiwalay kami, gusto ko he takes responsibility na sya ang nagtapon ng eight years namin together.  Sya sumira, hindi ako.

Hindi sya magd decide because he is comfy with the current arrangement. Then just ipilit kung anong gusto nya.

Tsaka sis, talagang mas mature ka mag isip. Aside from age difference, mga lalaki later talaga mag mature compared sa babae.  Marami ngako nababasa dito ang galing umandar ang imagination at laging plan A lang, walang plan B, pag pumalpak, nganga. At sisisihin ang wife daw kasi di supportive. Hayz.

[Msfi]

Sis babykat, Kung papayag ka sa arrangement na gusto ng asawa mo napakaswerte naman Nya. Nakapambabae with your consent, may ka share sa paggastos sa panganganak ng naging babae Nya at habambuhay na ipapasa sa yo ang pag aalaga ng anak Nya sa ibang babae.

Hindi ba Nya naiisip na kasalanan yun gusto nyang Gawin? Pakiki-apid sa Hindi Nya asawa. Wala ba syang takot sa Diyos?

[Evolet027]

Hi Sis, read this link

http://www.cosmo.ph/sex-relationships/dating-tips/9-excuses-people-give-to-stay-in-unhappy-relationships

Sorry, it's from cosmo, but your reasons like

1. You don't want to be alone
2. You've been together for 8 years

are listed in this article. You should read this.

[Vans]

^yan, about possible affair. nakwento ko sa asawa ko tong topic. Natawa sya sa sobrang ridiculous request ng hubby ni babykat at sabi nya excuse nga lang yung baby.

@sis babykat, emotional blackmail yang ginagawa sayo. At pumayag ka man sa gusto nya o hindi, ikaw pa rin sisisihin nya pag pumalpak ang mga plano nya.
 

[Shadow Angel]

Tambling naman ako sa request ng asawa mo parang napaka simple ng hinihingi nya ah. Kung baligtad ang sitwasyon na ikaw ang hihiling na makipag sex sa iba para magkaanak papayag ba sya sabin natin sa call boy na attractive ka papayag ba sya? Talaga wala sya ibang option kung hindi ang bar girl ha. Saka bakit parang sure na sure sya capable magka anak yun bar girl. Parang ang baba naman ng standard ng asawa mo no ok lang sa kanyang magkaanak sa bar girl (oops alam ko harsh words pero hindi ako agree na kailangan gamitin ang katawan para kumita ng pera kung isang beses at kailangan ok lang siguro pero yun ginawa ng work ang ganitong gawain...ang gusto kasi easy money at ayaw magbanat ng buto) wala sa tagal yan sis hindi dahil sa madaling sabihin pinagdaanan ko rin ang long term relationship hindi ko pinanghinayangan dahil ang 8 years na sinasabi mo ay past na ang mahalaga ang present at future kung kakayanin pa ba masaya pa ba? May respeto pa ba? Ok kung pumayag ka kaya mo ba tanggapin na walang halong ill feelings ang magiging anak ng asawa mo. Eto nga nagpapaalam sayo na dedepress ka na di lalo na kung nandyan na ang bata. Kaya mong mahalin? Plano nya bayaran para anakan kamo bakit may paligaw ligaw pa wow chocolates hindi ako selosa pero kung nakakabastos na masasampal ko sya.

[Evolet027]

Told this story to my hubby, ganun din reaction nya. Natawa.

And I told him, I'll leave him pag nagka ganito din sitwasyon namin. :p

[cosmochick]

ok... so mag baby sya don sa bar girl without your consent.. tapos pag anjan na ang baby given na binigay sainyo ng bar girl na yan.. sino daw mag aalaga ng baby nya? IKAW? 

[bonzaigirl]

Hi sis TS    first I am sorry that this is happening to you. I know that this is a difficult time, and sana nauunawaan mo yung mga advise sa iyo ng mga sisters natin. Minsan, dumadating sa buhay natin yung time na kailangan natin itanung sa sarili natin "when do you give up? When is enough enough?"  I believe sis na the time has come for you to ask yourself this question.  Tama mga advise nila.  let's say nagbunga ng bata, kaya mo bang alagaan ang isang bata na puno't dulo ng kasiraan nyong mag asawa? Papayag ka bang tawagin na mommy ng batang yun.  A baby doesn't make a family. A unified husband and wife do since yun ang foundation ng family. Kung simula eh sira na yung foundation, hindi mabubuo ang pamilya. Eto na lang sis, sabi ng asawa mo  titigilan na nya yung gusto nya at kasalanan mo na naman. Does that mean na pinagkakatiwalaan mo na sya ulit just like that?? Ang baso na nabasag, kahit gaano kagaling ang yong pandikit, forever na yang may malat. I pray that you'll be enlightened sooner rather than later.  Pray to God, but think and reflect.. and act. Because prayers without actions is just nothing.

[leelou]

sis babykat, i-open mo na lang ulit kay hubby ang IVF. almost same lang naman magagastos nyo, yun na lang pag-ipunan nyo.

[WorriedB2B]

My husband and I are also trying to conceive. Pero thinking about your situation, siguro kung sakin nangyare yan, iiwan ko yung asawa ko, agad agad. Don’t get me wrong, I also love him and he’s also my life, pero hindi ko kayang sikmurain yung gagawin niyang ganyan. Just imagining na pina-plan nya yung ganyang bagay makes me nauseous. That's the most evil thing a husband would ask his wife! This only shows na wala na siyang respeto sayo at sa nararamdaman mo. Ni hindi niya inisip kung ano ang magiging after-effect nito sayo at sa relationship niyo. Siya yung nagiging selfish, at hinde ikaw. Your husband is supposed to protect you, hindi yung siya pa yung gumagawa ng bagay to destroy you and your relationship. 

[purple.strawberry]

Nakakatawa na nakakainis yang mga BS ng husband mo TS. Since nasabi na lahat dito, ang dadagdag ko na lang wag kang magt@nga-t@ngahan TS and don't let your hubby na paikutin ka. I think alam mo naman sa sarili mo ang dapat mong gawin, you just have to face it.

[Evolet027]

Agree. Walang kwenta ang mga sinasabi namin dito at ang pag hingi mo ng advise kung ikaw mismo, hindi aaksyon sa bagay na yan. Ikaw lang din ang kikilos para mai alis ang sarili mo sa situation na yan. You know what you should do. Sabi mo nga, mas mataas pinag aralan mo sa asawa mo. Dont let him na i drag ka sa situation na ganyan.

[cry_mandy]

Bargirl na nagpapatake out? How can your husband be so sure na may batang mabubuo at sya ang tatay?