Author Topic: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s  (Read 4153 times)

j.adore

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YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« on: July 27, 2015, 10:01:12 am »
Got inspiration from another thread (life lesson).. Not sure if there's a similar thread na, please merge na lang if ever..

Sharing time! :)

Here are mine:

- Never be complacent. Just because you're ok, doesn't mean you don't have to do anything.
Work on your marriage daily. It doesn't end pwera na lang kung tulog ka at walang pahinga pahinga kahit pagod ka sa bahay/trabaho/etc.

- Communication
This is one of the basic aspects of a relationship pero kadalasan eh may mga kahirapan pa din.
Nabasa ko din na dapat regular eto as applicable: I love yous, Good morning/evening, How's your day?, I'm sorry, Have a good day!, etc.

- Teamwork
You and your spouse are partners. There shouldn't be a contest in things unless you're playing an actual game. On everything else, work towards the same goal.
- Do not give up.
Kahit na nagtatampo ka, kahit masakit pa, your marriage is worth fighting for.

- Keep being interested in each other.
Encourage your spouse to do the things you like to do tapos make effort na gawin/magparticipate sa mga interests nila (ex. sports, hobbies).

- Ensure you have quality time together.
Kung busy, magschedule ng date o date night (monthsary?) o kaya regular time to be together. Pwede rin sa bahay while the kids are asleep (read this somewhere :))
Search the net for other date ideas or to try new things together and find a new common interest.

- Regularly have sex
Intimate way of being close to your spouse so kahit na magkagalit daw eh go pa din :o
Pero magkakaiba kasi ng definition mga tao kung ano ang "regular". Meron din ok lang the usual things ang ginawa meron naman gusto nagttry ng kung ano ano. Whatever floats your boat! But do not make excuses to not have sex.

I'll share more as I remember/read up on them :) What's yours?

mjcaluag

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2015, 12:28:02 pm »
Trust God. this marriage lesson has been very important for our whole marriage so far!

We had a lot of things happen the first year of our marriage, not knowing how we were going to pay the next bill, or rent for the month.

All we had left was to trust God, and cling to each other.

Agree on finances and budget.
By agreeing on our finances, and budgeting every month together (we each get a say on how to spend our money), has opened up lines of communication that we never thought possible.

Seek help and guidance when you need it. There was a few times when we needed help, and we learned to not be prideful and asked when necessary.

Be patient and calm, you will have disagreements. This was another of the BIG marriage lessons for us, and we are certain that being patient is very important in any marriage.

Remember the golden rule and treat your spouse how you would like to be treated.

Learn how to disagree respectfully; you are both different people with different personalities.

Communicate and discuss everything. Don’t just assume, ask!

This marriage lesson helps lay the foundation of your marriage, and enables you to really get to know your spouse.

Communicate your needs. If I needed my husband to be more romantic, I had to tell him, and I had to show him how.

Marriage expectations. We did not even know we had marriage expectations. We were both raised in different families with different “normals.”

All you have to do is talk about each other’s marriage expectations, discuss, and compromise.
This post shows you how to compromise with your spouse.

Don’t expect your spouse to know what is in your head or read your mind. I know this is mentioned above but it’s so important it deserves its own number. Communicate!!!

Work as a team and for each other. Marriage is 100/100 not 50/50.
Stick together through the hard times when they come, (because they will come, its part of life!) as well as the good.

Be truly unified. Doing everything mentioned you will learn this marriage lesson.

Don’t rush into having babies; spend the first year of marriage getting to know each other as a married couple.

The more time you spend together before kids arrive, the better. (Obviously not too long, but at least a year before getting pregnant is our recommendation for newlyweds.)

14) How not to disrespect your spouse privately and publicly. I didn’t even realize I was doing this, and felt awful once I realized I was disrespecting my husband.

Build up your spouse.
I love talking about my husband to whoever will listen. As I focus on all his good attributes, the positive thoughts turns into words, love, and respect for my husband.

We GIVE love differently and RECEIVE love DIFFERENTLY. That’s right, The Five Love Languages is a must read for your first year of marriage.

BALANCE different personalities. One of us is an extrovert and one is an introvert, one is a saver and the other a spender, among many other differences. We had to learn to balance our life with these opposites.

How to LISTEN, pay attention not just hear. It’s so easy to get distracted today!
Put the phone down when your spouse is talking.

Taking time aside with no distractions to connect with each other every day even if its just five minutes.

Do something together, and TALK.

Learn to balance being yourself, an independent person, while also being part of your marriage with your spouse.

aquacharly

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2015, 05:41:57 pm »
A marital relationship has a greater chance of success if:

1.  The couple share the same religious beliefs, principles, goals, financial values & sense of humour;
2.  They pray together;
3.  They communicate with each other, show kindness towards each other, & respect each other 
3.  They share some leisure activities/interests;
4.  Both earn; and
5.  Both agree when to have children, & how many.
6.  Patience is a requisite virtue.
7.  The couple must present a united front vs. their families & friends.  Loyalty is required, always.  No 1 spouse should be labeled as the selfish, manipulative, controlling or whatever 1 by in-laws or friends. 


ri-anne

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2015, 04:03:17 pm »
- Put God at the center of the marriage.
- Communication is very important. Open & Honest Communication. We shld earn how to communicate with our spouse effectively.
- don't sweat the small stuff
- choose your battles
- Laugh, have fun, dapat hindi mawala kulitan in the relationship
- you don't always have to be Correct or tama or panalo in an argument. Walang contest. No pointing fingers or walang sisihan.
 wife and hubby should work as a team.
- Pag may problema, Focus on working towards a Solution.
 Learn to compromise and meet halfway if needed.
- kelangan Magtulungan, in everything...as in, everything...emotionally, financially, households, pag alaga sa mga bata, etc

that's all i can think of at the moment...



bonzaigirl

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2015, 04:16:06 pm »
I like this thread :) It's so apt for newlyweds and the not so newlywed :) 

Lessons learned:

For a successful marriage, both must be willing to work on the relationship

It is not a one way street.

Men are not mind readers, if you want something, say it out loud, in a nice way.

Always try to work on your communication skills. Just because the 2 of you are always talking and exchanging stories does not mean you are communicating effectively.  You maybe surprised at the stories he is willing to share to you and the stories he feels that are not noteworthy but nevertheless important to you.

Men are really from Mars and women are from Venus. My big things are quite trivial to him. He doesn't care about issues like I do. :)

There should be no secrets in the bedroom or any other room. No secrets between man and wife. Even the minutest of things.

Farting in front of your husband and vice versa  does not take the romance out of your relationship.

Even the most patient man has limits.

Put God in the center of your relationship.

P.S.  It helps to wear lingerie :)  in bed. Be comfortable with your body  😄😄😄

I am one lucky wife :) 
« Last Edit: July 30, 2015, 03:52:26 pm by bonzaigirl »

j.adore

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #5 on: June 16, 2016, 04:26:22 pm »
This is a good read https://familyshare.com/20079/marriage/5-reasons-why-its-important-to-put-your-spouse-before-your-parents

Actually, this site has a looooot helpful insights on being a spouse, a mother, a child, etc. :)

SnowBall

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #6 on: June 16, 2016, 05:17:28 pm »
Ako tatlo lang:

1. Ilagay ang Diyos sa centro ng inyong pagsasama at pamilya.

2. Palaging pababaan ng pride at pahabaan ng pasensiya.

3. Ang buhay may asawa ay masaya na mahirap. Na matamis na mapait.

swtgrl_bee

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2016, 01:04:02 am »
Isa lang naiisip ko ngayong madaling araw  ;D Lower your expectations or don't expect at all.

drag0nfly

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2016, 02:35:29 am »
!.  Pag mag-asawa na, TEAM na kayo.  Wala na dapat sumbatan na mas madami ka na nagawa and sya kulang.  Kung kelangan na ikaw ang kumilos ngayon, go! 

2.  Natutunan kong humanap ng perfect timing tuwing may gusto akong pag-usapang seryoso.  Dati kasi wapakels ako kung dis oras na yan, I will say my piece.  Or kung naglalaro sya ng games sa bahay, bubulabugin ko to talk.  Ngayon I gauge kung ok ba mood nya, busy ba sya or nakakain na  ;D

3.  Stop nagging.  Tagal kong natutunan eto.  Ang asawa ko kasi makalat sa room, complete opposites kami kasi ako OC.  Napansin ko the more pinupuna ko, the more nalilimutan ayusin mga stuff.  So ginawa ko paminsan-minsan na lang, gentle reminders kumabaga.  Ayun, mas nagkusa and medyo naging maayos na din sa gamit.  Same goes for errands and the like.  Once ko lang sasabihin then hayaan ko na sya kumilos.  Sinabi din kasi nya saken na hindi ko naman kelangan mangulit at gagawin naman nya.

4.  Wag laging AKO lang.  What do I mean by this?  Bigyan ng equal importance ang needs ng asawa.  Kadalasan kasi dba tayong mga babae may tendency na "It's all about ME."  Diba nga may saying na "Happy Wife, Happy Life?"  I've always thought, pano naman ang Husband?  Dapat ba Wife lang ang laging happy?  This is something I always look out for sa marriage namin - na masaya ang asawa ko, na he feels his opinion is being heard and acknowledged and hindi lang ako ang laging nasusunod. 

sarsingkit

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2016, 03:04:15 am »
Trust your partner, but put your outmost faith in God. Man (including your partner) can fail you, God won't.
Seek peace of mind all the time.
Chill lang lagi, wag OA sa mga reactions and sa pag iisip ng kung ano ano.
Do not compare yourself to other couples. Do not look for relationship goals, look within your own relationship.

simang

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #10 on: July 04, 2016, 12:11:04 am »
Always go back to your first 90 days as a couple.

yannuh

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #11 on: July 04, 2016, 06:54:36 am »
habaan ang pasensya at wag nagger. personally guilty ako dito. yung mga small things like naiwan nya yung lighter sa center table, naiwan nya ipasok yung water jug sa ref, hindi na dapat pinapalaki pa. Di ka rin naman perfect kaya ok kung wag mainis agad, magsalita ng mahinahon habang kausap si partner para di na lumaki ang gulo. pero pag forever nyang ginagawa yan ibang usapan na. haha

Missus O

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #12 on: July 04, 2016, 06:46:29 pm »
I posted this in another thread. But I believe it is more apt to post this in here.


THE BEST MARRIAGE ADVICE EVER!!

Twenty-five principles to your relationship, that could make a life-changing difference in your marriage!  In no particular order:

1. Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

9. Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

15. When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

16. When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.

18. Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

19. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.

20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

21. Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

22. Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

23. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

24. When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!

25. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

Source: http://strongermarriages.com/the-best-marriage-advice-ever/

imprincessfiona

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2016, 02:53:07 pm »
^Thank you for sharing Missus O! I have learned a lot from these insights.

Missus O

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2016, 03:08:10 pm »
^ No worries sis :D 👌🖒🖒

MissEi

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #15 on: July 05, 2016, 05:40:24 pm »
Nice Thread ;D

Act as BF/GF forever ;) ;D

Kailarueluka

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #16 on: July 14, 2016, 03:55:12 pm »
Wedding is only a day while marriage is a lifetime.

Pray to each other.

Stay best of friends.

Decide to listen.

mrsonthego

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Re: YOUR Marriage Lesson/s
« Reply #17 on: July 22, 2016, 05:23:39 pm »
Love is not what you feel, it is what you do. ;)

 

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