Sugarol ba ang Tatay niyo?

[lovemeagain30]

Meron ba ditong mga anak ng sugarol katulad ko? Anong childhood niyo habang lumalaki kasama sila?

Share ko sakin. My grandfather and my own father used to be big time gamblers in cockfighting business. Wala nako masyadong memory sa grandpa ko since he died when i was very young. Si papa ko during elementary days palang humahawak na ng manok. He grew up in an environment na may sarili silang farm ng mga ganitong klase ng manok na panlaban. My mom's family doesnt like my father before kasi nga sabungero na, naninigarilyo at manginginom pa!  He was a happy go lucky guy growing up since he was very much spoiled since he was the youngest in his family. My mom was a public school teacher. My dad was a public servant. Ang wala sakanya nuon ay mambabae at manakit.

Fast Forward my mom still married my dad and bore 4 kids -- ako yung bunso. My maternal mom raised me as well my eldest brother because my mom was so busy mothering my father. He's good provider to us and funny story teller but most of the time he was always out. I have this one memory I cant forget about him while growing up, I think I was 7 or 8 year old when I wanted my parents to take me to "Luneta" park on that day. I remember crying out so hard because I wanted to go there with them. Sabi ng dad ko sakin, "sige you go to sleep this afternoon (siesta) and I will take you there when you wake up".. ako naman natulog! when I woke up , he already left. As usual, sa sabungan. I cant recall if i've asked my mom why they didn't bring me to the park but one thing I know -- as a child, it broke my heart. It left a memory that I can't forget until now.

Fast Forward again, my father already stopped his vices for drinking and smoking and only retain his first love, gues what?? gambling. My sister have told me yesterday that my senior citizen mom complained again to her that our father is always outside in cockpit arena and doesn't help her in the household chores.  Most of the time I moved on from that painful memory I considered in my childhood from his gambling habits but there are days you know -- I still resent him from doing that to me. And I hate his gambling vices until now. I resent that his gambling took away the time he should be spending with his children.  Hindi nalang ako kumikibo since my other siblings tinanggap nalang ang ganun -- na hindi na namin siya mababago. Ngayon pa kung kelan matanda na! 

Anyhow, I didn't share that luneta park memory to anyone in my family other than my husband. It's a lesson I learned in my life when I was choosing for a lifetime partner-- ang wag pumatol sa nagsusugal dahil sakit sa ulo ang mga yan. My dad is a very good lolo to his grandchildren now. Hindi ko lam kung dun nalang siya bumabawi sa mga pagkukulang niya samin nuon.

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, thanks for sharing your story.

what if mag asawa na nung na acquire ng wife/hubby yung pagsusugal? And after talking it out, ganun parin. What should the other spouse do.

Sobra mo bang ni-resent iyan sa dad no such that you wished na sana your mom had left your dad nalang? Or was it still worth seeing a sugarol dad growing up?

Just asking sis, ano pov mo.

[angel_babyteen]

Almost same with my father, he gambled a lot and he is til now, he used to go to cockpit arena as well but toned down a bit now that he is getting older and hospitalized once, he was always with his barkada gambling in whoever house was it, he had an everyday routine which he goes to barkada' s house from 10-11am to 12midnight or morning, worse is he didn't have work and he is not working now, he retired when i was in elementary, and my mother provided everything, as in everything, even gambling money, he had a mistresses too, not just once, he changed a lil bit, no more mistresses, toned down with alcohol, quit smoking but still gamble not as bad as before, idk but i think i have accepted him like that from a long time ago, i let everything go because i know he wont ever change unless he decided to, i cant change anything, he is still my father, what i can do is focus on my future na lang, na hopefully i could live better than what my mother has gone through, he is so lucky mother didn't leave him, she love him a lot i guess.

[Girltalker2]

^ sis, for you din Yung question sa taas. Would you rather live with your mom na iniwan dad mo or ok lang sa anak lumaki just like you and TS were raised?

Am just asking for the benefit ng ka-generation natin. What they're supposed to do as the wife of a gambler. Kasi syempre pag ako iyan, iniwan ko na. But I wanna understand pov ng anak in hindsight.

TIA!

[Obachan]

same as my father who passed away because of sugal(sabong, baraha), alak at sigarilyo but didn't have mistress.

I guess kaya hindi hiniwalayan ng mother ko ang tatay ko its because , my father has a good side naman.
never ko nakita na nanakit tatay ko sa nanay at hindi ko rin narinig na minura nya mother ko.
and they were the old generation that never quits in a relationship.
they accept who at what ever spouse they have.

Kung ako un, hiniwalayan ko na, pero matatag nanay ko at matyaga sa attitude ng father ko.
When I graduated and got a job, itong si father nanghingi pa pansugal!
at ito naman si mother pinag-aralan din ang baraha! susme! tandem na sila.
until my father passed away and my mother got busy of her apo's kaya natigil na rin ang pag-tong-its nya plus the fact na nalayo sya sa environment ng mga sugarol.

[angel_babyteen]

^^ honestly i don't really know, i wouldn't want a broken family if possible but if i see that my mother is miserable, suffering and ready/ really decided to give up their relationship then i wouldn't question her, but this might be an opinion from an adult daughter now, it depends how old the kids are, but for if wife decided to leave, for sure kids would understand not now but someday, they just need to explain/ make their kids understand, needs to communicate according to  their age.

[lovemeagain30]

Sis Girltalker2 me and our eldest sibling (brother) grew up in our maternal grandmother side. We lived in the city. My other sister eventually joined us but my middle sister she stayed in our house. They're staying in the province. My kuya resent my father for his gambling vices. Para sa kuya ko nakapag ipon na sana ng mas malaking pera ngayon si Papa kung hindi siya sabungero. My father became sick as well dahil nga sa iba pa niyang bisyo gaya ng sigarilyo at inom which nung kabataan niya -- he doesn't care at all.

Gambling like any other vices it takes away your time that you should have given to your wife, to your kids and when children are young they NEED you more than anything else. Gamblers makes excuses for their gambling and worsts, they justify it! Like "eto lang kasiyahan ko", "hindi naman ako pumupusta ng malaki" and so.. and so forth. What they don't realize is na yung 1 or 2 oras na nandiyan ka kasama mo yung mga ka sugarol mo eh sana sa mga anak mo nalang nilaan. Pag uuwi mo pagod ka na, worsts kung natalo ka pa-- wala ka ng gana makipag laro pa sa  mga anak mo or kahit makinig pa sa mga kwento nila. Minsan nga nasa bahay ka na ang iniisip mo parin yun laro mo.

My parents lived in the old times when tinatanggap nalang ng asawang babae ang kahinaan ng asawang lalaki without coming to a resolution that BOTH should make an effort to change for the family.  Seeing my mom na nahihirapan pakisamahan parin ang papa ko even this time of their senior years -- yes I wished nuon pa niyan hiniwalayan. Baka sakali sinikap pa niyang magbago nuong kabataan pa niya para samin.  He could have been also a better father to us.

If both partners acquired gambling AFTER they got married -- abay ibang usapan na yan! They should know the impact of having a gambler in the family -- napakahirap mga kapatid. I hope when someone reading this comment and currently in the same situation, tigilan at iwasan niyo na yan. Akala niyo lang walang effect sa pamilya at sa mga anak pero meron yan. I'm a living testament of that.  Sabi ko nga it's a big lesson for me when I was growing up.

Though my papa is a very good grandparent to his grand children part of me somehow envies my children for that attention. Sana nabigyan din ako nuon ng ganyang klaseng pagmamahal na nakukuha nila ngayon sakanilang lolo -- baka sakali yung mga wrong decisions I've made in my life before maybe I could have avoided it. Ganun din siguro wish ng kuya ko nuon. May gap din kasi silang dalawa.

My papa makes time for his apo's. Pinapasyal kung saan saan. He hugs them a lot, kisses them a lot. He's watching cartoons with them and laughs with their kwentos. He's trying to be involved in their lives. He is a better grandpa than a father to us when we were at that age! Nakakalungkot yung ganun ah. I wished we were first receiver of that kind of love.. yung mga apo dapat pangalawa nalang sana.  Pero wala eh. Eto na kami ngayon. We know better now, so we are trying our best to correct the mistakes of our past.

[lyrahs]

Nanay ni bf ang sugarol. Kwento sa akin ni bf na lumaki daw silang laging nasa sugalan ang nanay nila. Hindi sya masyadong nag-detail sa akin pero ang sabi lang nya mahirap na may sugarol sa bahay lalo kung nanay.

Kala ko naman hindi nya makukuha pero nakuha nya din. Well ang sabi nya, alam naman daw nyang limitahan minsan kasi hindi naman sya tumataya, nanonood lang daw. Sana lang tuluyan ng dumalang yung pagtataya nya hanggang mawala na.

[tischarmedlife]

Luckily, my father isn't a gambler. Yung katuwaan na tong-its lang with my uncles (bro-in-laws nya) pag Sunday. Di rin sya umiinom (isang boteng RH, sigurado tulog. Haha) and have stopped smoking since I was seven years old.

Yung mga uncle ko (bros ni mama) ang grabe mag-sugal. Sabong, baraha, karera, pak na pak! Ang malala pa ngayon, pati yung isang tita ko, sugalera na rin! Nauubos ang remittance ng seaman na asawa sa sugal. Tsk tsk.

Diba may rehab for gambling? 

[izabelle]

Hindi. Walang ibang bisyo tatay ko kundi magwork.

Yung nanay ng ex bf ko sobrang sugarol. As in wala n silang pera pansusugal pa nya. Baka nakaka addict talaga pagsusugal kaya ganon?

I dunno. Pero it is something na masama maka adikan, kasi kahit gano kadami pera at kayamanan mo pwede maubos kung masyadong maaadik sa sugal.

[mysterioza_me]

We are so lucky kasi walang bisyo ang dad ko. Sabi ng lola ko dami kalokohan daddy namin nung binata pa siya pero nagbago siya nung nakilala niya mom ko

[cosmochick]

Ang husband ng sister ko ,gambler... nahawa na rin sis ko.. financer pa nga sila ng swertres dati then super yumaman sila until it all crumbled down ,napuno sila ng utang,even sa amin until now may utang pa sila... nakakainis is kahit walang wala na sila, bumabalik pa rin sila sa swertres thinking they could have it all again.. pero lalo nalugmok.

When I stayed sa house nila, I saw that my 2 nieces hindi na nila naaalagaan.. laking yaya.. di nila alam kung napakain na ba or what.. ako pa nagpapa buy ng food.. kasi walang nagluluto sa house nila, walang laman fridge.. omg! talaga... If a parent is a gambler, or in this case both, always talo ang mga kids.

[ashley_0713]

^Wala talagang magandang mangyayari kung mananatiling sugarol ang isang tao. Mapapabayaan mo lahat. And time will come na you will regret it.

[eman306]

well hinde sugarol ang tatay k yeyyy!!!

PERO lasinggero na sagad to the bones naman. mula nuon hangang ngayon kami ng kapatid ko hinde malapit sa kanya. Ang masaklap pa sinisigaw sigawan nya ang mama namin na parang wala lang, basta gusto lang nya. Sumbat ng sumbat na kala mo naman may ginagawa sya para sa amin at kay mama. Nagkasakit si mama, nagbayad sya sa ospital after ng walang katapusang sumbat, nagpadala ko ng pera, araw araw nya tinatanong kung kinuha na daw ba ni mama at ng makuha na ni mama kinuha nya talaga lahat kay mama

Ang lagi nyang problema? saan kukuha ng panginom nya na ipagmamayabang nya sa mga kainuman nya. saan kukuha ng pang party nya twing birthday nya.

perfect ang father ko e. perfect example na lalaking dapat na hinde namin piliin ng kahi na sino

[contala]

Mama ko ang mahilig mag tong its at madjong,noong bata pa ako simula ng malipat kami sa lugar kung saan ang palipas oras ng mga tao ay magsugal natutunan nadin niya,well noon matatawag mo pa naman na palipas oras kasi bago siya maglaro eh sinisigurado niyang malinis ang bahay at may naluto ng pagkain at bago magdilim eh uuwi na para magluto ng haponan,ang masaklap ngaun kung kailan sila tumanda nagagawa pa niyang makipagpuyatan at may younger brother ako na 7 years old plang na nakikita kung hindi masyado naasikaso ni mama,noon si papa ko nagagalit kay mama kapag nagsusugal ngayon naglalaro nadin siya pero hinahayaan nlng namin ng kapatid kung babae kaso lang ang mahirap lang eh kapag uuwi siya minsan mainit pa ulo.mahirap talaga kapag may nagsusugal sa pamilya [textspeak!] tipong hindi palipas oras,kasi pakiramdam ko isa pa yan sa nagdadala ng bad vibes.kaya pag iintindi nlng ginagawa namin.minsan nga naiinggit ako sa mga nanay na inaasikaso ang bahay at mga anak.

[iannewn]

Sugarol or people addicted to gambling pinapa rehab din po yan pag hindi grabe ang cause. May rehab center na for them just dont be afraid to ask around

[mysterioza_me]

Yung Tita ko di mapag-aral anak niya kasi wala daw pera pero laman siya ng sugalan. Naawa mom ko sa pinsan ko kasi nung enrollment tumawag umiiyak, gusto daw niya talaga mag-aral kaso wala siyang pang-allowance and pangdorm since medyo liblib bahay nila at sa city siya mag-aaral. Nagtake at nakapasa siya for full scholarship akala niya pag-aaralin na siya pagsinabi niya sa magulang niya na scholar pero sabi wala daw sila pera para sa allowance. May pamuhunan sa sugal pero para sa edukasyon wala. Nagoffer na cousin ko na magpaparttime siya para pang-allowance kaya sagutin na ng parents niya maski pangdorm. Hay naku pero tumanggi pa din daw nanay niya. Ending mom ko na sumagot. Sabi ko nga pagnakatapos yan magulang din naman niya makikinabang. Gusto lang ng magulang pakasarap.