Sending a sibling to school

[honeybunny]

sensya na medyo mahaba..

2nd child ako, and i earn twice than my older sister so ako nagbabayad ng tuition and books ng kapatid ko.

i alloted a specific amount na i would pay for his school which is 9k sa tuition and 6k sa books

the tuition is about 15k-16k talaga (minus the books pa) kaso dahil may discount from government, about 9k+ na lang sya provided na we pay in full and before june30

this school year my brother decided to study sa public school kasi dun ang mga pinsan nya at dun sya sa aunt ko titira. i thought mas pursigido sya mag aral around his cousins. plus binuyo pa sya ng aunt ko na dun mag aral kasi akala nya i would give his allowances to her.

after all the drama, pumayag na rin ako since free naman sa public school, kung tutuusin wala na dapat ako gastos but since wala syang baon dahil nasa puder sya ng aunt ko, i agreed to give him allowance 15k divided # of weeks nya sa school, so pumapatak 500 a week and dapat he would clean my apartment. (walang libre ngayon and i want to let him know na he has to work for what he gets)

so we agreed din na he will never ever go back to private school kasi yun ang sabi sa kanya nung principal dun sa dati nyang school

after few weeks of studying sa public school, he decided na ayaw na nya dun and iba daw turo blah blah..and wants to go back to private school.

now no more discount na so the tuition is now 11k+ (kasi may discount pa daw the half year, something like that)

so since i already spent 2k for his allowances sa public school, papatak e i would spend 13k this year instead of just 9k dahil sa stupid decision of my brother.

yes, it is just another 2k, pero saan ka ba makakapulot ng 2k sa tabi tabi?

please tell me na mali ako and dala lang ng galit and burden my parents gave me because of this brother na i am not supposed to be sending to school anyway.

hayy 

[killbill]

Sis don't be too hard on your brother, i know na mahirap kumita ng pera ngayon pero hindi naman niya kasalanan na ikaw ang nagpapa aral sa kanya instead of your parents. Medyo relate ako sayo kasi nagpapaaral din ako ng younger brother, 4th year college na sya at awa ng Diyos nakakuha ng full scholarship this school year 😊

It may seem like a stupid decision pero siguro that time naisip niya na less burden sayo if mag public school na lang siya. Pero sis napakalayo kasi talaga ng mga public schools sa private, facilities pa lang. I should know kasi nalipat din ako sa public school ng 3rd-4th year and wala talaga ako natutunan kasi mga teachers dun puro pasulat lang ng notes tapos wala nang ibang inatupag kundi magbenta ng snacks, avon, sara lee etc.

[simang]

sis, how old is your brother? can you convince him to finish this school year muna in the public school and then transfer again after this school year? i don't know how public schools are now, pero lahat kami magkakapatid sa public naggradeschool, ako i transferred to a private school nung grade5 and 6, and seriously i like the public school better, but that was almost 2 decades ago na, and we were in the province then. so i'm not sure how it is with public schools nowadays, lalo na kung nasa metro manila.

baka kasi naninibago lang brother mo, syempre transferee. siguro kausapin mo na lang ng masinsinan, together with the rest of your family (aunt and ate) para makapagdecide kayo, kasi syempre you can't question naman din yung decision ng brother mo to transfer, wala pa syang ganun kinoconsider eh.

[honeybunny]

thanks sis.. he is turning 17 this september. i dunno why ang bigat ng loob ko agad whenever i deal with his tuition matters. maybe i am stressed because of the responsibility na hindi naman sakin. hays

[aquacharly]

Ask your older sister to pitch in.

Do not breed resentment. It may make you bitter and makapagbitiw ka ng hindi malunok na salita -- your brother will carry resentment instead of gratitude.

You are in a blessed position to be able to afford to help your brother have a good future.   Ganyan na Lang isipin mo.  Better to give than to be on the begging side.

[lonelymiss28]

If I were you sis, I will tell him na he should take responsibility of his own action, since yun ginusto nya sa public dun muna sya kahit isang taon para next  time, mag-iisp syang mabuti kung gagawin nya isang bagay or hindi, para maisp din nya ang mga consequences ng desisyon nya. In a way at leasat matuto rin sya.

[cosmochick]

Hi sis, I send my 3 half brothers to school kasi ang walang kwentang ama, iniwan mommy ko with no support. So ako lahat gastos down to the last centavo.. from high school until now na theyre all in college na so I can totally relate how burdensome it is lalo na if your money is budgeted lang naman din. Minsan nga I think bakit kasi nagpabuntis pa mommy ko eh alam nyang married ang guy??? ako ngayon nahihirapan.. of course, I'm only human, I blame my mom a lot of times in my mind.

My 2 brothers are pasaway.. yung isa lang matino. Lahat sila tamad pa, walang alam sa bahay. Yung isa tumigil ngayon kasi dami bagsak lagi kasi naglalaro lang ng games. My mom doesn't know how to discipline them and Im based overseas so I cant monitor them din.. so it's really hard.. Imagine sending them money every month and you don't know ano na pinaggagastusan?? they always lie pa to me. I feel like they're so ungrateful and mga walang future.

What I do is just send them the budgeted amount every month.. bahala na sila how they spend it but they cannot ask for more..  Sometimes, my mom asks for extra for check ups daw, tumor removal..etc.. I give naman kahit may duda ako if its true.. kasi what if diba it's true pala...

I'm telling you this sis because you are still lucky.. imagine 1 lang akin 3??? 

Buti nga sayo sis,gusto mag aral ng brother mo and hindi pasaway. Just think na lang to lessen the burden na God gave you this job to help your brother. This is His purpose.

[j.adore]

I did this before for the last year of my older pasaway brother on the condition he graduates on time. He did naman. Kung hindi, sure ako I wouldn't help anymore. Sa lahat ng ayaw ko eh yung di marunong tumupad sa usapan.

I never had any concern with my parents kasi good provider naman dad ko. Recession lang so out of his control.
Though di rin ako binayaran ng kahit sino sa kanila but it's ok.

TS, it was your brother's choice to go to public school. Let him bear the consequences of his decisions.

Medyo ganyan sa brother in law ko. Condition was that if he fails one more term, he will continue his course in public school. Bagsak nga at public school nga siya graduate.

[FayeP]

I did this sa dalawang kapatid ko...I sent them both to college and fulfillment ng bongga nun magtapos...

hiwalay kasi parents ko at walang kakayanan un mother ko na pag aralin kami sa college...swerte lang din kasi kahit pano scholar ako at malaki din naitulong ng choirmates ko...

although un sis ko sa public university lang nag-aral eh magastos pa din - araw -araw na baon, projects, uniforms etc...un brother ko sa isang private univ pero di kataasan ang tuition...nakaraos naman kami...

although my mother never told me to send them to school, ginawa ko un para na din sa mga kapatid ko kasi ayoko na wala sila marating...

[najine]

I sent my youngest brother to college for 4 years and luckily di nagloko and he graduated on time. what a fulfillment on my part. kase during that time maliit lang naman ang sweldo yet nakayanan. I was not obligated but ako na mismo umako kase I know how it feels like to be helpless at di mo alam san kukunin pangpa aral mo. though my other brother is also studying that time na mom ko naman nagshoulder ng schooling. my father? oh well.. wala.

during that time 30k per sem pa ang tuition w/o books. looking back proud na rin ako sa self ko pano ko nagawa yun. masaya lalo pagnakikita mo ok na mga kapatid ko now and working. 

[Girltalker2]

Sis honeybunny, Kumusta na brother mo?
I think you're bothered kasi they get to decide but you still are responsible for every move they make. You take the consequences eh.

Like why does your Brother have the liberty to decide where he wants to go? Bakit hindi puede ikaw mag decide tutal ikaw naman magbabayad ng tuition. If he insists sa private, eh di sya magbayad.

[honeybunny]

^hi sis, pumayag yung private school na maging 9k na lang yung tuition (included pa rin yung discount) kahit late na, so balik private na sya.

few weeks ago, i found out na the reason why he wanted to go back sa private school e kasi super strict ang public school and hindi sya pwede pa petiks petiks sa public, yung teacher nya sa public school cut his hair kasi mahaba sa sides, abot ng ear, and mas strict pala dun.

so yun pala. anyway, mas gagaan sana ang loob ko if he studies well at hindi pinapabayaan ang pag-aaral.

when he was growing up, he was raised by my aunt na happy-go-lucky and tuwing may assignments she would tell him na ok lang yan, bata pa naman sya kahit wag muna yang assignment etc etc when duon nabibuild ang foundation ng bata.

kaya ayan nadala nya paglaki, so he would lie sa parents ko tuwing exam day, just like last weekend, he said na wala nang pasok kasi sem break na daw (his cousin who goes to public school sem break na kasi), so he will spend his sem break with his cousins,

sabi ko naman, are u sure sem break na? let us  ask your teacher.. so nung tinetext na nung sister ko yung teacher to confirm it, bigla nyang sinabi na may pasok pa kame monday tuesday, exam pero nagpaalam na daw sya sa teacher and pumayag daw na he will take his exam after sem break na (he does this all the time, since 2 years ago or last year yata)

so i told him, u will take the exam kasabay ng classmates mo, u will not take the exam kung kelan mo gusto. then kinuha ko yung clothes i just bought for him and told him na he will only get it after his exam days.

it is just so frustrating na kelangan ko syang i-bribe ng clothes para lang pumasok sya sa school..

gusto ko na syang patigilin since mukhang namang he isnt interested sa schooling, kaso tuwing magpapasukan na, like last june, he told me willing naman daw sya mag aral, tapos pagpasukan na ayan puro bulakbol

i dunno what to do anymore, i dont have kids yet and probably never will, so i dunno how to raise kids and doesnt have enough patience to deal with this.

very frustrating.

[Girltalker2]

^Mukhang busy parents mo to monitor him. Puede mo siguro kausapin parents mo to check on his daily schedule and routine, lay down the ground rules or else...

That's the least they can do di ba? Sayo nanga nila pinasa ang burden to pay for your bro's tuition, sana man lang they can help guide the teen to the right path. Anak rin naman nila iyan. Kung may malasakit ka, dapat mas concerned sila.

[honeybunny]

^thanks sis. I told them that na. Pagnasasabayan talaga ng frustration hindi nakakapag isip ng matino. I told them that na. They are not really good at raising kids kasi they didnt raise us nung bata pa kame ng sister ko. So sana this time they will be more self less and try to become good parents kahit sa younger brother ko na lang.

[ataypool]

Pinatagal mo na sana siya sa public school. He will meet all kinds of people and get a dose of reality. Makikita niya doon na hindi lahat suwerte sa buhay. Baka doon magtino.

[najine]

Sis Honeybunny,

I suggest maging mahigpit ka na. sabihin mo if he got failing grade this year he will stop schooling next year and you should be firm by that. kase di siya matututo and uulit lang ng uulit ikaw din kawawa. kundi kaya ng parents mo you step up na di lang bilang sister but as a parent na rin. I know kase ako naging ate at parents at the same time ng mga kapatid ko. swerte ko na lang mababait mga kapatid ko kahit puro lalaki. wag mo rin daanin sa puro bribery. maging matigas ka sa batas mo dahil ikaw nagpapaaral.

[honeybunny]

^thanks sis. So far he never failed pa naman in his school. Kasi yung school mismo e pinapamihasa sya. But i already told him before pa na as soon as he failed his grades at hindi sya makakapunta sa next grade e he will stop schooling na.

@ataypool naisip ko rin yan kaso naisip ko rin pano kung hindi na sya pumasok? And i know i should be more firm. Hay ang hirap

I actually dont know if may failing grades ba sya since hindi ko nakikita and i live alone nakahiwalay at malayo sa kanila. All i know is hindi pa sya nagrepeat ng level.

Siguro dapat ako mismo magpunta sa school. Actually i dont really want to have anything to do with him except pay the tuition kasi too much headache na for me

[najine]

^ sis, I suggest you allot a time to go to his school to personally check on him. you dont want your hard earned money go to waste right? maganda na yung informed ka sa lahat ng bagay kesa magulat ka na lang isang araw sa malalaman mo. better be sure than sorry.