Pumpkin's In Love: Just Friends/Friendzoned Part 2

[pumpkin13]

I know some of you sisses have followed my thread Just Friends/Friendzoned when my closest guy friend confessed his feelings for me but still kept me in the friend zone. http://www.femalenetwork.com/girltalk/index.php/topic,289200.0.html

You know as well that we were going on a trip to Kuala Lumpur and Singapore. And so we did. We went on that trip on July 5 to 8 in KL and July 9 to 11 in SG. As usual, we had our bickering moments witnessed by his friend and my friend whom we tagged along on the trip as mediators.

I met someone in Malaysia. He worked at the hotel where we stayed in. He is Indo-Pakistani who is based in KL. I got attracted to him the first time I saw him during our first night at the hotel. He smiled at me, and I thought he was ridiculously goodlooking. I only found out that he was attracted to me, too, during our last day in KL. He asked for my name and number. I gave my name but not my number. My friend, though, gave him my number so that he could send me a message on WhatsApp. We even had our pictures taken. Before we checked out from the hotel, we requested for a group picture, along with all the hotel staff. We were standing beside each other while the pictures were being taken, and I was surprised that we were holding hands without them knowing. I was happy. Just happy.

He kept on sending me messages each day. He even called when I was in SG. When I came home to Pinas he was still sending me messages and calling whenever possible. Moks, the Friendzone guy, seemed not happy with the progress. He even told me, right at my face, “Ang ganda ganda mo kasi! Dami nagkakagusto sayo eh!” He said that with full-blown sarcasm. And we had our big fight. I said if he was my friend, he should be happy for me like how happy our friends are. Finally, I’m liking someone who likes me, too. And even if the other guy didn’t like me, I would still like him. I said we couldn’t grow old together as friends if he would keep acting that way.

So my lovelife status right now is unknown, malabo. I like the guy so much, he likes me, too. I am planning to have a side trip to Malaysia when I go to Indonesia hopefully before this year ends. He can’t come here because his employer has his passport. Is that the process abroad so that an employee can’t go AWOL? And I said malabo because I don’t know how long distance relationships work, not to mention we have language barrier. He speaks so little English that I have to speak in root words just so he can understand. But I’m willing to give it a try. I just don’t know up to what extent. And Moks and I are somewhat having a cold war. But I'm not letting him get in the way.

There. Just sharing.

[Miss Taken]

OMG YES A NEW BEGINNING lol

I was a lurker in your previous thread kasi I don't like Moks (sorry!) but I'm so happy for you sis that you've met someone who likes you at hindi yung ang gulu gulo ng utak and hirap gumawa ng decision. It's too early to tell if it will work out pero sabi nga diba wala sa tagal ng relasyon yan, depende pa rin yan sa dalawang tao na involved. You should definitely give him a chance Can't wait to read more updates between you and this new guy.

[tomatostellar]

aww I was rooting for moks ;p pero if wala progress and hindi pa din nya mapanindigan feelings nya for you, then ... and let me quote Queen Elsa "Let it go" na lang =/

but yehey to this new pa-kiligers .. and already talking bout LDR,, ayiiiii

[pumpkin13]

Thank you mga sis. Nangangapa ako sa long distance relationship. Hahaha! But so far, it's going smoothly. You just miss the person so much and can't do anything about it, except for some phone calls and chat. As for Moks, I feel that there's a gap between us we both don't admit.

[simang]

If this new guy is making you happy, then to hell with Moks, lol. He had his chance with you. I'm almost always very selfish when it comes to relationships, in a way na if someone is an impediment to my happiness (haha), i'd ditch him/her. If Moks is affected that you are happy at the moment, it's his problem. Enjoy your new relationship!

[pumpkin13]

^Yes, sis. He's making me happy despite the distance. Naaamaze lang ako na minsan kung sino pa ang nasa malayo sya pa ang makakapagpasaya sayo. Yung nasa malapit, sya pa yung pasakit. Hehe!

[j.adore]

Oh wow new thread!

Well you can't blame him because he does have feelings for you and it's normal for him to be jealous.
However, he's also concerned and I share that kasi you don't know this new guy plus he's in another country.

Stay happy but be on guard!

[Girltalker2]

Hello sis pumpkin!!! So happy that you're happy now

Go lang, just don't fall too hard. Early stages pa naman so don't limit yourself. Date others parin if meron.

LDR and language barrier is not easy. Nice to proceed muna as friends kasi too early to tell if maging serious. Basta enjoy lang the attention. Hanap ka parin ng potential crushes, after all, you're single and very available naman

Abangan ko susunod na kabanata.

[young_maiden]

Sis, I'm glad may kapalit na si Moks. Enjoy mo na iyang bagong pag-ibig sa buhay mo.

[pumpkin13]

Thank you sisses for the support. So far so good. Ang hirap magpigil ng emotions especially when you're happy. But I'm still on guard. Iniisip ko na lang di man magwork out, at least malayo. Walang physical intimacy, although we'll see in september if magkikita ulit kami. So far okay naman. We just get sad at times when we miss each other and want to be together but can't. And bago kasi ako sa field ng LDR so nag aadjust ako. Abangan ko din ang susunod na kabanata ko. Hehe!

[zelda]

OhLord! You've got a new thread!

I am so happy to hear updates! Needless to say, I am happy for you! (Well, after what happened to you and Moks, LOL) Yaan mo lang yan si Moks. Like what the other sis said here, he had his chance! Belat! LOL But of course,concern lang din sya (as a friend?) kaya medyo may cold war.

But go for the gold! LOL If the guy truly makes you happy, then go. We are entitled to our own "ever-after." Hope it works out.

[Miss Taken]

Glad to know everything is going smooth for you guys so far. Hindi ko pa rin natry ang LDR since feeling ko hindi ko kaya lol But if the guy is worth it then why not. Btw sis may kilala rin akong Moks na nagging kateam ko before sa previous call center company na pinasukan ko. Naalala ko lang hehe

[pumpkin13]

Hello mga sis. I'm going back to KL in August. Ang bilis no? One month lang ang break. Hahaha! No, before the KL-SG trip kasi, plan ko na talaga to go to Borubudur sa Indonesia. I was supposed to go alone until Moks found out and decided to tag himself along, maybe before this year ends or first quarter next year. And then the KL-SG trip happened and I met Mr. G. Then I had a change of plan. I planned to go to Borubudur in September kasi may long vacation ako nun from work. And instead of connecting flight sa Jakarta, sa KL na ko magcoconnect para may chance kami magkasama. I didn't know how to tell Moks about it. But I did, since wala pa naman kami definite plan about the Borubudur getaway. He wanted to connect sa Jakarta, but I said sa KL ako connect. And sinabi ko din na September. Hindi sya pumayag kasi he's going to Saudi this August for a week so wala na daw sya budget nun.

So I changed my plans again. I'll go to KL late August. KL lang. The Borubudur trip will resume next year. Mr. G. wants to come with me. I don't know what will happen if Moks and him are together on that trip. So baka ang ending is solo trip na lang ako. 

[simang]

Sis pumpkin, ano ba talagang gusto mo? Ask yourself, and be really really honest, what do you want? Feel ko kasi you're getting confused with all these kasi hindi ka pa decided kung anong gusto mo talaga. Na because this new relationship is here, you want to pursue it. But then you still have some hots for Moks (maybe, i'm assuming), kaya affected ka pa din when it comes to him. I feel like Moks is playing passive aggressive on you, on you're liking it, maybe kase attention pa din yun from him. If you want to push through with your travels, go lang. Ewan ko lang, feeling ko kasi parang ang laking bagay nung iaadjust mo yung travel na gusto mo for Moks. I dont know, siguro talagang ganun kalalim pinagsamahan nyo. Pero parang it's his way din kasi of making you choose between him and this new guy. Malamang ayaw nya na sa KL kayo dumaan diba. So ang pinakamadali dyan, is to really know kung ano bang gusto mong mangyari sa buhay pag-ibig mo. Habang pinagbibigyan mo kasi tong si Moks, lalo nyang mafifeel na he still got a hold on you. On the other hand, kung masyado ka naman eeffort para makita tong isa, baka naman masyado din syang magfeeling, lalo na hindi pa kayo ganun magkakilala.

[momentum]

sis  pumpkin13..not to be nega, pero ingat ingat lang din sa LDR with this new guy
don't pour yourself to him easily. hindi mo pa siya kilala. make sure na ikaw LANG talaga ka-LDR/ka-relationship niya.
you know how it is when you are working for a hotel, lots of people come and go. so it's really easy to hook-up and let go for him.

what i'm trying to say is get to know him really well first. huwag mo muna masyadong seryosohin. kakakilala mo palang siya. and LDR is really a challenge ha. just look at how other couples are doing, married or not, with their husband/bf working overseas.

and yeah tama si simang, know what you want ba talaga. parang kasi may gusto ka pa kay moks eh? kasi easily affected ka with how he reacts or feels or his opinion. you make him feel he has a hold on you talaga, na somehow part of your world revolves around him parin.

[pumpkin13]

Thanks for the insights mga sis. Here's how I really feel about the situation. I want to go to KL as soon as I can para malaman ko na yung status ng LDR namin, kung muka bang may future. Ayoko kasi maginvest ng time and emotion over nothing. Sa ngayon kasi the chat and phone calls are working out pero di ko alam kapag kasama ko na talaga sya. So I want to spend several days with him para malaman ko if it's worth the LDR thing. There are things kasi na easily said through chat and phone pero iba pag nakasama na. We didn't have that much time kasi when I was there. I'd grab this chance na din na mapuntahan yun places na di ko napuntahan sa Malaysia since Moks and I were having troubles with the itinerary.

About Moks, honestly, parang nahihiya ako sa kanya. Na nagbago ako ng plans just because I met a new guy. For some reason, his reactions and judgment affect me pero ayoko naman yun maging hindrance to a possible good relationship. Yun feelings ko sa kanya di ko nararamdaman ngayon, maybe because someone else makes me happy and that I like this guy so much kahit saglit pa lang. But even before the trip and even before I met this guy, natanggap ko naman na wala ako aasahan kay Moks. And ayoko din magsayang ng time waiting for nothing when I can be happy somewhere else.

Am I being selfish mga sis? I just want to see kung ano magiging realizations ko if I spend a few days with this someone.

[momentum]

^ sis para sakin, spending a few days with the new guy should not be the basis ng pagdecide mo if stick ka parin sa kanya or not.. Kasi he can always put his best foot forward.. What's a few days nga naman diba? Time lang talaga makakapgsabi eh.. Basta sis huwag mo kagad isusuko sarili m ha? Kasi baka he'll not take you seriously since ang dali ka lang niya makuha.. Chill chill lang muna kayo.. Get to know each other.

Sana siya rin mag effort na bisitahin ka dito sa pinas. Para makita mo if he is really serious din and will go the extra mile just to see you like what you will be doing.

Hmm mejo ganyan expected na mararamdaman mo kay moks kasi hindi ka naman dumistansya after niya linawin sayo na ayaw niya muna makipag relasyon. Kung dumistansya ka ng konti na sa kanya that time palang, e di sana you wont feel the need to explain stuff like that to him, or you wont have to consider what he would feel or think about this new guy in your life. Super close parin ata kasi kayo e.. So nagfefeeling yung isa na may karapatan siya sayo.. Ikaw naman may feeling ka rin na obligado sa kanya.

Maybe its time to detach yourself slowly from moks? Lessen your attachment sa kanya para ma-lessen din attachment niya sayo? Kasi in the long run hindi narin magiging maganda na attached parin kayo sa isat isa when both or one of you is already in a relationship

[pumpkin13]

^thanks, sis. Eh nabook na yun KL. Hehe! Enjoyin ko na lang siguro yun travel, especially yun places outside KL. And tama ka, get to know each other muna. Gawin ko na lang sya travel buddy muna. Haha! Kung may makita ako na sablay, I'd take it as a sign or red flag. Sabi nya he wants to come visit me din. Pero yun passport daw nya nakahold sa employer nya. I don't really know stuff about that eh. So I just said ok. Next year pa daw pede.

Yun kay Moks, ang pangit nga lang ng way ng pagdetach namin kasi medyo naoffend ako sa reaction nya when we were in KL. He shouted right at my face kasi and in front of a common friend, full of sarcasm. Pero we got over it and went on our trip. So ngayon wala ako pinagkkwentuhan about kay other guy except a few friends na di kaclose ni Moks. Kasi nanenega eh. Ok lang kung concerned, maaappreciate ko. Pero di naman concern ang nakikita ko.

[pumpkin13]

Hello mga sis. I'm sad to say na feeling ko I made a mistake.

No, there's nothing wrong naman between me and the Malaysian guy. It's just that hindi pala ako ready sa LDR. I mean, I can try. Pero nagstart na ko mapraning. Para kasing nakadepende lang ako sa time and routine namin. If anything goes out of the ordinary, napaparanoid ako. Pag walang message at a specific time or pag nagreport sya na lalabas sya, etc. Kung ano ano na naiisip ko. Maybe because we don't have the foundation for trust and love. Nagpadalos dalos din kasi ako eh. Pag kausap ko sya masaya naman ako. Pag hindi ko na kausap, di ko alam kung masaya ako. Ano ba kasi tong pinasok ko. Kasalanan ko eh.

Si Moks naman nagstart ng mag aabsent sa work. Di ko alam kung bakit. Critical month pa naman sa work. May tendency na mawarning or suspension sya. Kinamusta ko naman sya pero di nagreply sakin. Nakita ko active naman sya sa fb. Sabi nun friend ko nasasaktan daw. Ewan ko kung totoo pero di naman siguro yun reason enough para pabayaan ang work.

Feeling ko palpak lahat ng naging decision ko.

[momentum]

^sis you can't have everything.. sorry if i'll ask this pero,  do you see moks ba as a spare or 2nd option just incase this LDR doesn't work out? Parang fall back kumbaga.. Na you wish what you and moks used to have na close friendship (yung parang M.U na di matuloy-tuloy) eh hindi mawawala kahit your in a relationship with another guy?

Mahirap talaga Ldr sis, you can see naman sa threads dito how it is a struggle for wives and gfs whose husband/bf is out of the country. Hindi talaga mawawala paranoya. Kahit nga kilalang kilala mo na asawa mo.. Minsan di mo maiwasan maging paranoid kapag may naiiba sa routine niya. Tutuo na sa Ldr nakadepende ka talaga sa routine communication ninyo. Kaya sis huwag mo muna seryosohin itong Ldr ninyo ng guy kc nga you barely know him yet.

As for moks.. I think you have to move on na sa nararamdaman mo sa kanya. You already know wala naman kayo mapapala sa isat isa kasi he is not ready. Unless your really after the friendship nalang talaga.. Just be honest with yourself nalang sis ano ba tingin mo talaga sa kanya. Baka kc your just leading him on lang subtly? Para maprolong yung pagka M.U ninyo na kunwari? :p

Sis you can't have 2 men in your life.
One is bound to step back and not be as attached to you anymore once may ibang napapalapit na lalake. Either respeto nalang nila yun sa jowa mo.. Or like in your case, may feelings kasi si moks kaya di rin siguro maiiwasan na he'll avoid you nalang para mabawasan sakit..Pero mahirap keep both in the same level.. Hindi rin magandang tignan eh.. Just imo.