Why do women cheat? (why, what's your insight? are you one of em? why?)

[grrrlscout]

I cheated on my ex-boyfriend when I was 17 or 18? I did it for the following reasons:

• Gusto ko ma-experience
  Bored na ko sa relationship namin, hindi ko lang alam paano tapusin dahil ka-close ko yung family niya
  Hindi pa ko over sa ex ko (who I cheated with)
  Hindi ko lang talaga na mahal yung tao. Hindi lang ako marunong makipag-break.

Pero that's the first and only time na ginawa ko yun. I just really wanted to know what it was like, plus dahil na rin sa bata pa ako, I was a coward dahil hindi ko kayang sabihin ng deretchahan sa then boyfriend ko na ayaw ko na. Pero I've known girls personally na habitual cheater, and may mga nakilala na rin akong tipo ng babae na nakaka-feel ng sense of achievement na nakakapang-"agaw" siya ng boyfriend. Hindi ko rin alam bakit ganun sila, pero I suspect na malaki ang role ng self-esteem at daddy issues sa ugali ng mga ganitong babae.

[donya_dyosa]

Minsan kasi talaga bigla ka nalang madedevelop sa isang tao kahit iniiwasan mo talaga kasi may bf/asawa ka..
parang laging bugang bibig at nasa isip yung iba. tapos yung asawa/bf na present parang nawalan ka naman ng gana.. tapos bigla nalang magcross path nyo nung crush mo at type ka rin. yun yung masama. kung type ka rin. at jan na magstart ang cheating.

[cry_mandy]

People cheat kasi they dont love their partners that much. Wala silang pakelam kung makakasakit sila, basta magpapatangay sila sa tukso, papasok sa isa pang relasyon, dedma na basta gusto lang nila maging masaya.

[dismembered]

People cheat kasi mas mahal nila ang sarili nila. Mas mahalaga ang sarili nilang happiness kesa sa kung ano ang tama. So yes, cheaters are selfish. Cheaters love themselves so much. So kung nakikita nyo na ang partner nyo ay hindi willing magsacrifice for the sake of others, malaki ang tendency na mag cheat yan kapag feeling nya deprived or hindi na sya happy. Kasi lagi nyang iisipin ang sarili nyang happiness over other things.

[ms_jazzy]

I don't think cheating is as black and white as most people think.  Madalas, alam naman natin ang tama at mali, pero nalalagay ka sa sitwasyon na di mo inaakalang magpapasaya sayo ng sobra, kaso ayaw mo din makasakit ng iba.  Yes, there are serial cheaters pero meron din namang naiipit lang sa sitwasyon na hindi rin naman nila gusto.  And what's wrong with wanting to be happy.

[dismembered]

^ Depends upon your definition of happiness.

Cheating is called cheating kasi cheating nga. Simple as that. Kung hindi sya cheating, malamang hindi sya tatawaging cheating.

What's wrong with wanting to be happy? Wrong sya if you will do it at the expense of other's happiness. Bad analogy, pero may mga taong nagiging masaya kapag nananakit physically. May difference ba if mananakit ka emotionally and mentally because of your action?

[glamorosa_09]

One wife felt her husband was not attracted to her anymore -- doesn't want to have sex with her, no showing of any affections, etc. Husband has no affair. She felt so hurt, frustrated, and unwanted.

One time a man complimented her. And my, she couldn't stop thinking about that man. It's like she was too thirsty and one man offered her a sip of water, then she couldn't stop thinking about him. Good thing, she's capable of self-reflection. Good thing they didn't pursue deep friendship. So there's no cheating happened.

To answer the question, based from Shirley Glass, an infidelity therapist and  researcher, infidelity happens due to the interplay of one or more of these factors:

Marriage vulnerability
Individual weakness
Third party's will
Social influence (cheating is not taboo in her circle of friends)

[ms_jazzy]

I'm not saying that cheating is not cheating.  All I'm saying is that there are different reasons kung bakit sya nagagawa ng isang tao.  I'm not trying to defend cheaters and definitely not judging.  I've been cheated on, so alam ko kung gaano kasakit.  But still, pinatawad ko pa din yung husband ko, kasi bawat cheater, may kanya kanyang reason, lahat tayo may iba't ibang sitwasyon. Never as simple as that.

Nothing's wrong with WANTING to be happy.  Lahat naman tayo gustong maging masaya.  Sino ba may gustong malungkot?  It's what you DO to be happy that matters.  Dun ka pwedeng makasakit ng tao. 

[j.adore]

This

What's wrong with wanting to be happy? Wrong sya if you will do it at the expense of other's happiness.

Reasons for cheating are actually excuses. And no such thing na naipit.. It is a conscious choice that the cheater made several times over. Kahit pa once lang yan nag cheat, dami decision thrown na pinili niya yung other person over the one he or she is with.

[izabelle]

Cheating is a selfish choice. Walang hindi sinasadya. Walang nagkataon lang. haller noh, adult na tayo para malaman ang tama sa mali.

and whatever the reason is.. it is NEVER acceptable.

[hisana]

We get it. s*** happens. People fall out of love with their partners, get bored with their lives, etc., so they cheat. Life is not perfect. What I don't get is how people would justify cheating. Bakit hindi na lang aminin na what they did was wrong and selfish? Bakit nagmamalinis pa, na kesyo this is "love", I deserve to be happy, you have no right to judge me, I'm suffering too?! This is a relationship based on deceit and lies. In every other situation (friends, business or otherwise), considered no-no ang ganito at iniiwasan, so bakit kapag affair, suddenly ang daming palusot? At tayo pa talaga ang kailangan umintindi sa kanila? Nakakainis lang.

[izabelle]

^ true! pinaka nakakainis yung ijujustify pa kahit alam naman mali. Kailangan talaga ijustify masabi lang na may dahilan ang panloloko?

Nakakainis din yung parang sila pa galit at hinuhusgahan daw, aba e sa lagay na yun, gusto pa yata intindihin sila. lol