My 10 year old son and p0rn

[kikaygimikera]

Hi ladies, last week nakita namin sa desktop computer meron siyang 3 p0rn videos na nasa folder niya and yung folder na yun nasa desktop screen nakalagay. We said he made the folder and put the videos last Feb pa.

I know I should talk to him pero I am afraid he might get embarrased. I told my mom not to interfere with our situation kasi my mom tends to meddle things lalo na pag involving my son.

I am open to anything/advice. Thanks

[princessrio]

oh my! i have a 3-year-old son and would not know how to deal when this comes either!

maybe you can let your husband do the talking? man to man? and explain what porn is. have you asked him where he did get those videos?

[Mlabable]

Naintindihan ko yung mga lalaki e minsan di maiwasan manood ng porn pero your son is too young for that. For 10 years old ang bata niya pa, sa tingin mo sis san niya kaya natutunan yun? Madalas ba siya sa internet or FB? Or may friends ba siyang pwedeng nakaimpluwensiya?

I have two kids, both boys. Kung sakaling sa amin manyari yan yung asawa ko nalang ang kakausap sa kanila. Wag pagalitan, ipaintindi kung bakit hindi pwede yung mga ganyang bagay. Tendency kasi kung mother ang kakausap mapapahiya sila.

[kikaygimikera]

^^ i was about to talk to him kanina pero dahil happy sya sa xbox i did not bother. mahirap kasi yung dad niya na present ay stepdad niya. yung bio dad niya deads na di na nagparamdam.

^ mahilig lang sya sa computer games. hes online pag andiyan ako. nakita lang namin sa time stamp ng file na that was the time na wala syang pasok and tulog kami ni hubby mga hapon kasi pang gabi pa work namin non.

I do not know if effect pa din yun nung na harass siya ng isang lalake before.

[binggay]

My son was about the same age when we discovered that he knew about those things, too. na-discover naman namin while checking the history nung iPad.

Best way to tackle it: Have the dad talk to him. One on one, sila lang. Do not even listen to their conversation. Have your husband make kwento na lang sa yo after. Kahit stepdad pa yan, better pa rin kasi lalaki, and he has gone through the same experience.

Sa akin I did not really get stressed out kasi lalaki ang anak ko eh. He goes to an all-boys school. It is bound to happen, that is very normal. husband ko ang nag-explain din sa akin noon.

So basically what my husband said was that he understands my son, that he went through the same experience nung bata pa siya, but that sex is to be taken with full responsibility, should be only done between husband and wife. Na watching that is bad, etc.

In then end, lalo na when he enters the teen years, alam ko mas mag-iinit pa yan (teenage hormones) so alam namin na hindi talaga maiiwasan yan. It's all part of growing up. We just told him also to take care what he watches, kasi mas alala ako pag nakita yan ng daughters ko (younger sisters niya).

Parang recently, hindi na niya ginagawa manood ng porn, mas hooked siya ngayon sa online games. Buti naman.

[j.adore]

Agree that it should be the father or a father-figure who should talk to the son about these types of things. Similarly, pag babae naman eh mom makikipagusap.

Why? Because it is so much relate-able if same gender ang makakausap about it.

[kikaygimikera]

Thanks. I need to talk to my husband about this. Medyo mahirap kasi sa husband ko, parang --- he takes it lightly. Pakiramdam ko lang yun ha. Tahimik kasi all the time husband ko, no reaction lagi. Pero deep inside daming naiisip. I dont want him to make mistakes sa pagsalita sa son ko kasi ayoko ma mis interpret ng son ko na pinapagalitan siya. My husband is the type kasi na ang taas ng boses akala mo galit, pero normal lang nya yun.

Hay, will update you mga sis kapag nakapagusap na kami ni hubby. Thanks so much!

btw: checked on history sa laptop --- wala naman puro youtube na laro pinapanood niya. feeling ko nakuha niya yung porn videos sa lumang HD ni hubby. (feeling ko lang ha)

[ehlabart]

Yes sis, ask your hubby to do the talking. Actually nangyari yan sakin sa 6 year old ko pero by accident naman.. kasi etong si hubby nakalimutan tanggalin yung disc sa portable dvd ng anak ko, tapos naplay nya nagimbal anak ko, sinara agad tapos sabi ng pamangkin ko dalawa sila that time at 5 year old  ang sabi "AY Puwet ay puwet, bad yan diba mama bakit meron dyan" yun sabi ng anak ko.. which is hindi ko alam kung paano niya nalamang "bad" yun at 6 year old?

[kikaygimikera]

hi ladies, im back. hindi ko pa nacoconfront yung son ko.  and today since walang pasok (suspended classes), nagpunta ako madali sa hospital. paguwi ko, i checked the laptop's history and then again I saw porn movies mga 5 different category pa. I dont know what to feel. i went outside the balcony and he asked me if i am sad. I said yes kasi he shouldnt watch movies na dapat hindi para sa kanya. he went inside his room na.  i just told him to drink his milk and go to sleep. hindi ko din kasi alam how to tell him. wala si hubby at the moment.

[princessrio]

Sis, i think no point of saying na wag na ulit gagawin. He is already exposed to porn e. Nakatatak na yun sa isip nya. It's bound to happen na rin siguro. Kids are very curious now a days.

My husband says he was 7 years old when he first watched porn..and with his father. Father explained everything that happens. He was also told of the consequences kapag ginawa nya yung act. Baka yun na siguro ang need nya malaman.. Yung consequences.

[pinklilac]

Hi sis TS ..dinaanan ko yan. Naiintindihan ko pakiramdam mo..
My son was about 12 naman.one time bigla ko na lang naisip check ang history sa laptop.OMG! Halos himatayin ako sa nakita ko.
Hindi ko alam ano gagawin ko
para akong ta**a na halos natulala yata ako lol.
nagtaka din ako paano nya natutunan manood non?
pero hindi ko siya ni confront kase di ko alam ano sasabihin ko at Hiwalay kame ng tatay nya.
so dinedma ko na lang kesa makapag salita ako ng di tama at mas lalo pa lumala situation.then dumating yung time na nagkakuwentuhan kame about something (btw he has more girl friends dahil..u know)
Boom! Sabi nya more or less " ay naku ma yang si____ kabisado lahat ng porn sites.."
so sa isip ko "ahhhh " ..nasagot na tanong ko..

[pikapika2501]

you always have to say no, no matter what. but don't control him naman. i mean, sex is not really a topic. basta nag tanong, it's always no. yaan mo syang magtago. ibigsabihin decente nyang dadalhin yan. tapos asar-asarin mo lang. kasi yun yung usapan namin ni mister eh. madadala nya yan, kasi di na'tin ka generasyon yan. ang importante madala nya at hindi legal sa harap natin. ngayon, kung alang husband, patulong ka sa kapatid mo or kahit kaninong lalake sa bahay. else, relate it with your men friends sa office or work. sila mag sasabi ng insights para mas magets mo sinasabi ni hubby ko.

[momentum]

Question sis kikaygimikera, have you tried to restrict browsing sites on your computer/laptop/etc?
kasi it's inevitable na talagang magsesearch siya kasi the computer and internet is RIGHT THERE for him to just access, without any restrictions.

why don't you turn off your connection whenever he is left on his own? or restrict him from using the computer or better yet YOUTUBE or whatever

find out how to restrict sites that contain porn, fb, youtube etc. na once he types it on google or what, "page cannot be displayed" etc.

that way, hindi na siya maakaka access. kasi your making it available rin for him eh..kelangan may restrictions..and be more strict sa the way he uses the internet. hindi naman siya impossible. He is just 10yrs old. he should follow whatever rules you impose about internet usage. kung wala kang rules nor restrictions then you're giving him the privilege to do whatever he wants online.

[kikaygimikera]

Hi sis, the husband talked to our son na. It went well. We did tell him its not good to watch it but it does not make him a bad person. Its for adults and some adults watch it. We do not know how did he know about it though and we did not ask him about it. The husband asked him if he is aware na it is for aduls and he said yes. And one time he tried to reason out "di ko naman tinapos eh." And we knew he's curious. Husband told him about it na for adults nga and kids should refrain from watching it. We appreciate it if he would stop watching those kind of movies and focus on just games, enjoy playing with his friends. So far wala namang history na porn sites. We saw more Minecraft tutorial on youtube na.

It is best to talk to your son pala. It may be awkward sa simula but then - magiging maayos yung tingin mo sa kanya and siya sa parents niya.

[momentum]

^ again sis, it is also best to restrict sites from the computer/laptop so that he wont be tempted again. That way, mas secured at sigurado talaga na hindi na siya makaka access on those kinds of sites

[kikaygimikera]

^ Yup. We already did