Sis this is a long post, gusto ko lang iopen mo ang mind mo sa pwedeng mangyari.
Sis once a cheater, always a cheater (I think). We're on the same boat, mas grabe lang ang sa akin. 10 years na kaming kasal, we met through chat din. I should've known na ganun na talaga sya from the very start because we started that way. A few months after our wedding, I was supposed to go to Singapore for work but hindi natuloy. Since I was jobless for a month, nabuking ko na may ka chat sya using my very own laptop, may mga ka text din. Nagka work ako and I was training in Makati at night time, paalis ako papuntang office nung may nagtext sa kanya, they were supposed to meet that night, kaya pala kahit late na naligo parin sya kasi may kameet sya. I confronted him agad, nalaman ko na may mga nakilala syang girls sa MIRC, talking about sex ang stuff, at siguro hindi natuloy ang pagkikita nila. Pinalayas ko rin sya that night agad. On and off ang relationship namin for 2-3 months, while he was away, may mga tumawag pang girls sa landline namin, asking for different guys names. After that, I swore hindi na ako makikialam sa mga online stuff nya, kinalimutan ko rin ang ginawa nya, our relationship went good, or so I thought.
Years past, 2013, my boss required me to work in our office in Makati instead of working from home around June, he was jobless kaya I had no choice. I got so tired of him being too dependent and parang hindi na kami mag asawa magturingan, halos wala narin nangyayari sa amin. Pero God knows how I tried to rekindle the fire in the relationship. But around August, I had enough kaya pinalayas ko sya and decided na makipaghiwalay sa kanya. He got a stint abroad ng December 2013, he called me nung Christmas 2013, I decided to give our relationship another chance when he called, sabi ko baka nagbago na.
I went abroad and spent 1 month in China where he worked. Within that 1 month, I learned a lot about him. May mga Chinese na kaflirt/ka wechat. I confronted him about it and promised na wala ng iba. A week after, I learned through facebook na marami syang ka chat and that he constantly communicates with his ex's, yung mga hindi nya ma contact hinahanap nya parin. Yung isa, he even asked kung pwede ba sila magsama together with the ex's son and iwan ang asawa nya, that was in Feb of 2013, a month before I arrived in China. I confronted him again, and yes, he said magbabago na sya and again, wala ng iba.
When I arrived in the Phils, I went through depression kasi hindi ko matanggap, I didn't sleep well, I was always crying, I isolated myself from my family, ayoko isipin nilang may problema kami. About 2 weeks after, ayun may nalaman nanaman ako, through his fb, nakita ko messages nya with his friend na nagwowork din sa China, he asked, na kung pwede ipatanong dun sa isang Chinese kung may bf ba sya. Bagong pangalan nanaman, naging sunod sunod yun, around 1-2 Chinese girls. Each time, he promised he will change his ways.
July 19, 2014 came, just days after the last confrontation about the other Chinese girl na waitress sa resto na pinagtatrabahuhan nya. I had a big hunch ilang araw narin na may nangyayari. Kasi I accessed his email, may email dun about another email na nakalink, and I didn't know that it ever existed but since I knew him very well, I tried to hack into it. Nakapasok ako after a few tries, walang kakaiba sa email, except dun sa YM. There were about 150 people added to that. I checked the logs and there I found out, na since 2013 he's been chatting with different women, for sex, for some not so serious discussions etc. Some engaged through sex on chat with him, and madalas SOP. And nung asa pang 10th person na ako, I noticed something different sa pag uusap nila, may seriousness, may care. While reading through it, ang lakas ng kaba ko, halos di ko maigalaw ang kamay ko sa sobrang kaba at nanlalamig ako, till bigla akong na log out, yun pala, nag log in sya at iniba ang password habang kinakausap nya ako sa skype, may idea na sya that I was able to log in.
I confronted him about it. He logged off from our skype call, he was just sending me messages. I didn't reply. I searched through facebook kung sino yung babae, I learned we have a common friend. I remembered one time I asked him about a single pic sa fb nya while I was in China with the same girl, he said pinakilala lang sa kanya ng mga pinsan nya sa Pampanga at nangungulit magpapic, I shrugged it off, thinking na baka wala lang talaga. I searched through his facebook, I saw some pics na naka hide sa timeline nya, same girl, this time, 5 pics, including a "family pic" nila nung babae with her twin sons while having dinner sa kfc.
I didn't sleep that night kahit wala akong tulog for 2 days straight because I just came from a night shift then lunch date for my sister's birthday. I searched and searched and searched. I was crying in between AHA moments kasi may bago nanaman akong nalaman, where they went, where they ate. The relationship started July of 2013, they met through MIRC and continued through YM. Then they met, July 13, 2013, upon meet up, they ate at Mcdo and continued their "eating" sa motel sa Cubao. Their relationship went on, kahit alam na ni girl na may asawa ang lalaking kinalantari nya. Till nakipag hiwalay na nga ako due to ibang reason, their relationship went on till Feb of 2014.
I chatted with the girl through fb, asked her about the relationship, told her na hindi lang sya ang nilandi ng asawa ko, but the fact na sya lang ang naka sex na nalaman ko, mukhang proud pa sya. I asked him for a break. Dun palang gusto ko na makipag hiwalay pero hindi ko kaya. Mahal na mahal ko sya. Willing ako ayusin kung ano man ang ginulo nya kasi mahal ko sya. Humingi sya ng tawad sa akin, for the nth time pinatawad ko sya, pero mas cautious na ako, mas protective na ako sa puso. He promised na aayusin nya na.
Came October 5, 2014, I was out with my family for lunch, he was constantly chatting with me, sabi nya asa labas sya with his friends from church. October 30, 2014, he went back home dito sa Philippines, end of October while cleaning out some stuff, I saw a pic of the Chinese girl na nakaflirt nya, yung waitress, binigyan pala sya ng hard copy ng pic nito. Then I continued searching again, I found out sa wechat nya na may isang girl dun na meet nya sa isang bar dun, they were supposed to have lunch out nung same day I was out with my family, the girl had to go back to Shanghai that day kaya di natuloy. He also never mentioned to the girl na married sya, na till no he denies na sinabi nya daw sa girl and that they were just friends.
You see, ang lalaki, magloloko at magloloko yan, katabi mo man yan or malayo ka sa kanya, kung choice nya magloko, magloloko yan. Papatol yan kahit kanino, yung mga Chinese na nakaflirt nyan, may maganda, may pangit, yung kabit nya, ubod ng pangit. Yung mga naka SOP and SOC nya, may pangit, may maganda, may payat, may mas mataba pa sa akin. Walang pinipili. Sa totoo lang, my dad is also a cheater, pero I married him, I kept an open mind na baka sya iba na, pero hindi eh, mukhang lahat pa ng kilala kong lalaki, cousins, friends eh mukhang nagka affair din at least once in their life.
Sa ngayon ok kami ulit, I'm 100% as a wife, even more than that pa nga because I really changed, pero I am guarded. I won't let him fool me again. I gave him until October 2015 para ayusin nya kaming dalawa if by any chance may malaman nanaman akong ibang girls (I am still digging), eh mag hihiwalay talaga kami. Gusto ko kasi maging honest sya, if meron pang iba he needs to tell me na hindi ko na sya iko confront. Sana magbago pero hindi na ako magugulat if meron pa akong malaman. At least alam ko sa sarili ko that I've given him the chance multiple times.
I am not discouraging you, pero keep an open mind, hindi ko sinasabing wag kang maniwala, pero anything is possible. Always pray, yan lang ang kinapitan ko at kinakapitan till now.
