when do you know if you have had enough?

[ceejhei]

it's always like this. mag 7 years na kaming married pero lately lagi kaming nag aaway. he always finds a way na hanapan ng mali lahat ng ginagawa ko. hindi ko alam kung naiirita na siya sakin or wala na talagang love. after our biggest fight, he said "ayaw ko na, tama na" but i asked hiim to try pa. pero parang walang nangyayari, lahat nalang ng nakikita sakin mali. even my text messages to him pag dating sakanya laging masama.

gaya ng sinabi niya nakakasawa na paulit ulit na away, nagsasawa na din ako. we got kids, ages 6 and 1 year old something. i've been cheated on for 2x magkaibang girl, pero i chose to forgive because i loved him. siguro kung iba iba yan, iniwanan na siya. hindi ko na pinalaki, kinausap ko lang siya. i admit there are times na naibabalik ko yung kasalanan na nagawa niya coz it still hurts. i am praying everynight, na sana maayos pa. pero i asked God to take over our relationship. hindi ko na talaga alam, i am really hurting kasi galing naman ako buong pamilya kaya i valued our family so much pero para sakaniya parang ganun nalang kadali sabihin na "ayaw ko na".

hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan pa yung hangganan pero i will continue to pray. i know nagkamali ako sa mga sinabi ko sa ibang tao about him and natapakan ko ang ego niya. i feel really bad about it, nag sorry na ako but i think that's not enough siguro ito yung way niya para gantihan ako. i really don't know kung hanggang saan ko pa kakayanin. i am trying my best pero hindi niya nakikita.

[aquacharly]

When do you know if you have had enough?
When you can show him no more kindness, and have no more respect for him. 

It's the best you can do too after or while you're giving it all your best to move your marriage forward:  Pray for Divine Guidance. Ask the Holy Spirit for clarity of mind & courage.

IF what you are doing is not getting you the results you want, change strategy.  It may help to consult a person competent in dealing with discordant marital communications.   Baka your dialogue patterns both trigger retorts from each other.  Or, your communication with each other escalates simple matters into defensive/negative exchanges.  It helps to learn how to break out of old patterns.

It also helps to look at yourself closely. What triggers your ire? Do you go into misplaced aggression?  I am not saying you are at fault or deficient. Just that we are all imperfect people trying to move towards perfection.  The only ones we can really work on are ourselves, and any positive change will benefit all our relationships. 

[ceejhei]

thank you aquacharly. i was thinking na nga to consult someone professional that could help this marriage. i really want to save it. i know i hurt his feelings lalo na nung minamaliit ko siya which is a big no-no to guys.

will try to change my approach to him, baka nga what i am doing is not working, maybe time to change strategy.

Thank you and God bless. and yes, i will continue praying.

[princessrio]

baka nasabi lang yun dahil galit. maybe you need some time off? or guidance? or vacation?

reflect on the changes that has happened. and like what aquacharly said, you might need a new game plan since what you are doing is not effective.

pray hard and harder. hindi naman siguro huli pa ang lahat para maayos nyo yan. 

[ceejhei]

thank you princessrio

salamat i will try that. pero i still have to discover kung anong strategy now.