Problems you encounter while preparing for your wedding (Part 7)

[moizzzelle]

Love is blind nga talaga.
After calling of the wedding before Nov, heto tuloy na tuloy na daw this weekend. At wala na daw makakapigil sa kanila.
MISUNDERSTANDING lang daw kasi yun nangyari. #juiceko

Buntong-hininga na lang ako. Nasabi ko na sa kanya ang sa tingin ko ay tama.

[Purple_Power]

lueeeesa Good thing you were able to explain and insist yung preferences niyo. Ang hirap pa man din to deal with old people kailangan pa sila ang intindihin at pagpapasensyahan mo ng mahaba. Worst case they are becoming manipulative and pakialamera pa to the point you can't decide on your own.

The wedding preparation is stressful and this is the challenge na you are willing to face it but worth it naman kapag na solve and tapos na yung mga mabibigat na part. Pero when it comes to family members and other people na marami pang gusto sa hindi naman nila kasal ito talaga ang emotionally stressful at mas mabigat. Imbis na tulungan ka na lang ang dami dami pang demands lalo na sa invites tapos dadaan ka pa sa pakikipag-away.

[120515]

sis moizzzelle, oh well...all we can hope for is that their marriage will be better than their wedding planning

[tiffany24]

Oh well ganun siguro talaga, mas alam nila yung nararamdaman nila so let's just hope everything goes well with them sis moizzzelle 

[rightback]

and now nangyari na nga ang warning ng friend ko--the argument with the parents. thanks to my parents i dont even know half of my guests. imagine paying for an expensive dinner for people you don't know! sabi ko sa kanila bawasan ang guests. e every time na magtatanong na ko ng update wala sila binabawas dumadagdag lang. to the point na parang wala na kami mainvite ni h2b sa friends namin who i would prefer to be there instead. sana man lang magregalo tong mga hindi namin kilala. 

[Purple_Power]

^Sis nasa ibang bansa ka ba? As I understand parang parents mo ang nag-oorganize ng event? Sino bale nagfinance yang sa wedding prep? Saka bakit naman hindi niyo mainvite yung friends niyo?

[Missus O]

@moizelle -oh dear, but well.. all you can do is wish them the very best, and pray na sana that will be an eye opener for the bride and they will change their ways for the better.  Isipin mo na lang, as a good friend, you've given all of the pennies worth opinions that your friend deserves. And he has made his choice. I have a friend like that, and guess what, they are also back together now. Hindi na kami kasing close ng dati. I think it's because dun sa partner nya. But I do just wish them well pa din. Still hope and pray though na she will do better.

@rightback - His sis, question, who will be paying for the wedding? If it's you guys, then you've got major say on the matter. Maybe you can kindly but firmly tell your parents that you are not happy to pay for people na you don't know. Unless, they are happy to pay for their friends presence on your wedding.  hehe. Good luck sis.

[rightback]

i'm here naman sis and organizing the whole thing. my parents are in the province though and will pay for extra heads. initially when i told them i'm getting married they were so supportive that me and h2b will have the say who to invite. what they will pay naman should be enough to cover for that but i just hate it when you walk in to a room and don't recognize anyone. some of the guests they are inviting are from the province din and h2b and i are secretly hoping that airfare will be so expensive na they decide not to come since less that 2 months na lang and holidays na haha. and sana naman these unknown guests will give gifts no. bawi bawi lang sa dinner na babayaran namin. so currently i'm back to the "i should've just eloped" phase. haha

[rizzie]

Hi mga sis question lang tama ba na yung family ng h2b ko yung maglist down ng mga guest na relatives sa side nila. Sabi kasi ni h2b bahala nadaw sina mama nya dun. The truth is hindi ko pa nameet karamihan sa relatives nya and ayoko naman maging brat sa tingin ng parents nya kaya hindi na ko nagreact.Parang ang awkward lang ata na dun ko pa lang sila makikilala. Plus yung iba nya pang friends na hindi ko pa din nakikita eversince napaparanoid tuloy ako baka ang tahimik sa reception namin.

[shygirlme]

^^sis my Father in Law is super close sa mga 2nd cousins nya na never ko pa namimeet kasi si husband eh hindi naman daw close masyado sa mga tito nya. Nung namanhikan sinabihan na ng husband ko daddy nya na ang invited lang is kapatid nya at mga kapatid ng mom nya. Gusto kasi iinvite ng yun mga pinsan nya kasi pag daw don may kasalan invited sya. Sinabi ng husband ko na sa side ko ang invited lang talaga mga kapatid ng parents ko. Talagang  nagmatigas kami sis. Na hindi pwede mag invite both sides na hindi pa namin namimeet. Masaya naman kami walang gate crasher.

[rizzie]

Thanks sis chili and sis shygirlme iopen up ko din kay h2b na ganun nalang yung siblings nalang ng parents nya. Sobrang konti lang talaga kasi yung sa side ng family ko yung sa entourage lang kasama then konting friends (less than 30) kasi maghahanda naman sila ng separate sa bahay namin kaya medyo naooverwhelm ako kung puro sa side nila yung madami.

[Purple_Power]

rizzie Ang tanong ko lang is ano ba ang napag-usapan niyo pagdating sa mga guest list or invites? Kasi I believe dapat may mga plano na kayo? It is your wedding and you still have ALL ALL the right na malaman kung sino ang mga inimbita nila. Ano ba ito? wedding or birthday ng h2b mo? Or yung eyeball na get to know each other? Parang kasing ganun ang lumalabas sa akin eh! It is true na you don't want to be brat but I believe you should talk to your h2b dahil hindi rin biro ang seat reservation. Worst case sometimes you will have to choose kung ano ang mas concern mo, yung magiging paningin sayo ng parents ng h2b mo or yung paninindigan mo kung sino ang dapat na mag exist sa wedding mo.

[mikky21]

Sis rizzie depende yun sa pag-uusap niyo ng h2b mo. Kung siya okay lang sa kanya yung ganun na maraming maiiinvite na hindi niyo naman kakilala pareho then i guess you have to let it go pero you have to be vocal to him na alam niyang ayaw mo ng ganun. Baka naman gawan niya ng paraan kasi mas okay na sabihin ni h2b sa parents niya na siya yung may ayaw mas effective yun kesa sabihin niyang ikaw yung may ayaw baka kung ano pa sabihin ng in-laws mo. Based on experience mas matatanggap kasi ng family ni h2b pag siya yung magsasabi at siya yung magiging firm sa mga decisions tungkol sa kasal niyo. Well i guess kung may gagastusin sila sa kasal niyo then para sakin may say nga sila kung sino yung mga pwede nilang imbitahin.

[meixin]

@rizzie: Ang tanong who is paying. Tsaka depende rin sa culture nila, like are we talking about chinese here. I mean in my case upbringing sa amin e ang wedding is for the parents celebrating their children's union daw. So madami talagang friends sila iniinvite. So as early as now may guestlist na parents ko. And since sinasama nila kami sa social gatherings nila nakikilala ko din yung ibang mga friends nila. I get to invite my friends, pero meron din sila so pinapabayaan ko lang din sila to list their guests.

And regarding mga 2nd cousins naman, yun din ang sabi ng parents ko. Ininvite nila buong family nung wedding nila, dapat daw we treat them the same way.

[rowan]

hi girls may nakaexperience na ba nito? after i got engaged medyo hindi ko na feel magpakita sa mga big family gatherings where ill see people that i wont invite for the wedding. most of them are second cousins. im not close to them but they are close to my first cousins which im close to. and i live in antipolo, maliit lang ang antipolo! iniinvite din nila ako sa mga children's party nila sa jollibee/mcdo. i sometimes feel guilty coz they invite me to their parties pero ako iniisip ko na huwag sila iinvite pero children's party naman kasi yun eh, iba pag wedding. they know im engaged through facebook and im touched when they congratulated us. the thing is, i really want a small wedding lang, around 150 pax. budget constraints and we want it to be intimate. priority talaga namin ng fiance ko yung mga tao na kilala and nakasama na namin pareho.   i know i cant hide from them forever lalo na my wedding is in 2017 pa. what do i do when they ask me about the wedding? baka mag expect then mahurt pag wala natanggap na invite!:(

[Purple_Power]

^As I've actually posted it here and gave some advises to some sisses, huwag masyadong magreveal ng detalye in any social medias para iwas tanong about your wedding. Yes children's party and wedding are different events pero we should accept the fact na hindi naman parating nangyayari na kapag ininvite mo ay magiging imbitado ka rin sa event niya. Ako nga eh! na-experience ko recently, I invited my second cousin and her family too sa party ng daughter ko and they were present. Partida ito pa sinabihan pa niya ako na she will invite me too on her daughter's bday in which madali ko lang matatandaan ang bday ng anak niya kasi ka-bday niya ang hubby ko, yet alam na alam kong Sabado yun. Pero guess what? Ni wala naman akong invitation na natanggap and days after the bday nung bata of course which is my hubby's bday too I've seen the video already and pictures na nakapagpaparty pala and we weren't invited. Do I have hard feelings on it? Actually NO! Usually iniintindi ko muna and since I am also a Mom like her, I know that organizing event is not easy at all especially when it comes to budget. Tiningnan ko rin kung sino mga naandun sa event and seems that it was only her closest family, relatives and friends so no second cousins too. Yet of course kapag ako inimbita there will be domino effect too. Ako lang naman ata yung nag-imbita na may bungi eh!  And again about my cousin kahit na sinabihan niya ako hindi pa rin ako 100% nag expect kasi handa na ako sa other possibilities.

Kikitain mo ba sila sa 2016? Malaki ba ang chance? Usually ba matanong sila about sa mga wedding? Alam ba nila sa 2017 na yet pati yung date? Try your very best na huwag magreveal ng info about your wedding. Kung may magtanong pasimple ka lang. Huwag mong isipin masyado na kung ma-ooffend ba sila kapag hindi mo ininvite. Stick to your plan and objective. Ganun talaga eh! Budget is issue. Basta wala kang bibitawan na salita I am sure they will not expect. Ang hindi ko lang maisip kung ano ang isasagot kapag tinanong kung imbitado ba sila eh! Just in case answer na lang parati na nag-uusap pa kayo ni g2b hanggang sa magsawa dahil yan ang magiging excuse mo.

[jajasmin]

  super stress na mga sis, Dec bride here...(it's a renewal of our vows since we're married in civil na)
it's really hard to please my husband! napaka perfectionist. my p/v team was already done with our STD pero may hinahanap pang effects si husband which for me naman maganda. nahihiya lang ako sa p/v team kasi they have to redo again the video.
And one more thing, i still haven't finalize my invites, I presented many samples but wala shang inapprove... 
He's in other country and will arrive on 23rd of Dec pa..
as of this moment, hindi pa kame naguusap ulit... so stress talaga!!

[monopoly19]

My take on the sama ng loob pag hindi naimbita is deadma. It's my wedding after all and my hard earned money. For example, I invited almost all of the members of my sports team. Lalo na yung mga ka-batch ko, lahat sila invited except for 1. Why? Because she's a home wrecker. She doesn't respect the sanctity of marriage, she was a mistress of this guy, buti binalikan nung guy ang family niya. Now, she's involved again with another guy. I don't want that kind of person around me during my wedding. And if she asks why she's not invited then she's a loser.

[sparklingjewel]

Two weeks left to distribute our invites and i still have more than 10 people to meet personally to give it... nakakahiya ba if yung invite na binigay ko nakasulat Nov 30 RSVP deadline then nabigay ko just a few days before? Takot ako na baka nga abutan ako ng Nov 30 eh since these people seem too busy and im also busy...

[juwie]

^ sparklingjewel, I had some of my invites shipped via Xend. I found it impossible to meet all of them in person before the wedding, and it saved me the hassle.