Problems you encounter while preparing for your wedding (Part 7)

[shygirlme]

I have friends na sa province kinasal at ang mga guests nila nasa 300 to 500! Kaya kahit province sila kinasal mahal din nagagastos nila. Fiesta talaga sa kanila. Kada ninong at ninang hakot ng bisita (1 jeep ang dala). Kaya ganyan din naiisip ng nanay ko nung kinasal ako pero sinabi ko talaga hindi fiesta ang kasal ko ayaw ko mag invite na hindi ko naman mga kilala.

[Purple_Power]

Yung BIL ni Bro taga Pangasinan sila and I was invited too and my family sa kasal nila which is I never expected that. Since province nga rin ito, ang set up nila is yung sa reception sa resort ginawa yun na limited ang guests then kinabukasan nagpakain sila sa bahay parang extension ng celebration ng wedding nila or sa malamang yung para sa community nila, pero hindi ko naman nawitness yung dami ng pumunta parang kung sino lang yung invited nung kagabi eh sila sila rin lang nagpunta ulit. Well my point is at least kahit taga province sila hindi ko naman nafeel na napakalaking issue yung kasal na kung saan dapat ang reception saka yun nga naging maayos ang kinalabasan ng okasyon, hindi yung naging fiesta.

moizzzelle Curious lang ako, taga saan si g2b? Manila ba siya? Saka namanhikan na ba sila? Kung namanhikan sila ano napag-usapan nila? Kasi kung ako parents ni B2B dapat dun mismo sa pamamanhikan makikipag-usap ako talaga kung gaanong ka strong yung tradition nila sa province eh! At kakausapin ko rin muna personally si b2b kung kinakailangan ba talaga yung ibang mga tao maging witness sa kasal? Kung ganyan set up ang gusto nila I strongly suggest dapat umattend sila ng kasal mismo hindi ng reception lang. Kasi ako nakaattend ako ng wedding sa Bulacan napansin ko sa reception nagdagsaan mga tao eh! Pero sa simbahan hindi naman sila lahat nakita ko run. If I am the groom at talagang imposing yang set up na yan sa family ni b2b baka nga ako mismo magbackout rin! Ano yun, pinaghirapan ko gagastusin ko para lang magpakain ng hindi ko kilala? Saka ano yun gagastos ako for fiesta?

I think na adopt pa rin talaga ng karamihan yung old mind set lalo na sa tradition ng ibang provinces when it comes to wedding na dapat maraming tao at papakainin ang community.

[stylus]

Another option is magkaroon ng separate handaan sa bahay ng bride/groom para sa mga guests na di ma-a-accomodate sa resort.

pwede rin ito sis. parang may handaan na lang sa bahay. yan din naisip ko para sa mga relatives ko na di ko maiinvite. yung mga second cousins, mga tito tita na pinsan ng parents ko. pero naisip ko rin na doble gastos. hehe.

[120515]

i feel so sorry for the groom because i totally understand his side. i agree with everyone else that this should be a discussed by the groom and bride in depth. from what i've learned, the guest list is one of the hardest things to decide on when planning a wedding because a lot of things depend on it like the catering, the size of the venue, and even the styling can depend on the number of guests.

my wedding will also be in my province and we will have limited guests. i've explained this to my parents and they totally understand. they never pushed for anything (except for the lechon, which they'll pay for).

i firmly believe that a good and open discussion will resolve issues but it seems that the groom has tried but the bride didn't listen. i just hope that they will be able to resolve it before their wedding.

[Purple_Power]

Another thing here is seems that ang hindi na mismo ang nagkakasundo ay yung couples which is itong groom and bride at ang masaklap ay yung bride to be and her mother ang nag agree to each other. Kung ako siguro yung fiance nito at kapag talagang napikon na ako, sasabihin ko talaga kayo na lang ng Nanay niyo magpakasal. Kailangan manaig talaga rito sa lalake na "Paano naman ang PART ko? " Paano naman ako as groom? Wala na lang ba yun? Kailangan ba talaga sumunod ako sa agos niyo? As in wala na lang akong say rito at magiging sunud sunuran na lang ako? Yan ang dapat sabihin ni groom kay bride. Subukan ni groom magtangkang magbackout, alam mo for sure si bride maghahabol at papayag rin sa gusto niya.

[stylus]

basta dapat sa wedding, happy both the bride and the groom! kasi best day ever nga nila eh

[adik_gumala]

Guest list namin is nasa 200 apparently yung ceremony namin is good for 80 persons lang and reception for 140. =(

Sis if i were you naman I wouldn't risk it. Kasi di ba may mga wedding na mas madami pumupunta kesa sa ininvite tapos hindi naman nagsabi na pupunta... Masakit sa ulo kasi na problem yung hindi sila kasya sa venue mo kesa sa problema na maraming vacant seats...

[moizzzelle]

They're from the south. Hati sila sa gastos. And yes, namanhikan sila. But I don't think napag-usapan yun guests limit.

G2B already suggested to have a separate celebration para sa iba na gustong pumunta. Pero firm yun decision ni G2B and MIL2B na iinvite lahat ng gustong pumunta.
Feeding program peg! hehe

Actually, si G2B mahinahon mag-explain. Magaling siya sa mga reasoning. It's just that the other parties chose to not hear his side. Pabebe talaga.

The truth is, may iba pa silang problema. Maski ako nagtaka bakit nakipag-reconcile pa siya at inayang magpakasal. Me as a friend, I'm against their wedding dahil in a short span of time, nakita ko yung ugali ng B2B. Even other guy friends namin, ayaw sa girl dahil iba talaga ugali nya. G2B's parent doesn't like the girl as well. Pero dahil ginagalang nila ang decision ng anak nila, hinayaan nila ituloy ang kasal. And this happened.

Honestly, hindi ko masabi sa friend ko na to just cancel the wedding. Kasi in both situations, talo siya. If natuloy ang kasal, baka hiwalayan lang din daw niya si B2B. If hindi naman, baka saktan ni girl ang sarili niya and bantaan na siya ng pamilya.

Sana lang maayos nila to before their big day. Hindi rin kasi kinaya ng mga payo sa counselling si B2B e.
*sigh

[imprincessfiona]

^sis ilang taon na yung friend mo na g2b at yung b2b? parang napaka-kitid naman ng isip ng b2b. kahit ako ayaw ko maging fiesta ang kasal ko. gusto ko yung closest family, relatives and friends lang. saka ngayon pa lang may disagreement na sila paano na lang pag kasal na grabe gulo o away lang yan. dapat mag-isip isip yung g2b aba'y wala ng kawala yan forever na nyang kasama yung b2b nya.

[moizzzelle]

^sis ilang taon na yung friend mo na g2b at yung b2b? parang napaka-kitid naman ng isip ng b2b. kahit ako ayaw ko maging fiesta ang kasal ko. gusto ko yung closest family, relatives and friends lang. saka ngayon pa lang may disagreement na sila paano na lang pag kasal na grabe gulo o away lang yan. dapat mag-isip isip yung g2b aba'y wala ng kawala yan forever na nyang kasama yung b2b nya.

Sis @imprincessfiona  they are both on their early 30s. sa away at gulo, malamang iyon din ang kahahantungan nila. G2B's guy bestfriend nga is planning to make a long speech na patama sa girl and her kin. hindi kasi makapag-voice out yun family ni g2b.

[120515]

^ it seems like they have a lot of other problems they need to resolve that are way bigger than the wedding itself. a discovery weekend or engaged encounter may have done them a lot of good, did they do something like this, sis moizzelle? because these programs actually get the couple to talking about every single detail of their would-be married life together and even the wedding. it seems to me that they do not have the same point of view or objectives and the bride is not willing to listen to her groom and is not even willing to compromise.

[Purple_Power]

moizzzelle Seems that the problem here is not just the wedding but the relationship here, future marriage life and yung papakasalan which is the bride to be. Kung ako friend niyan and he is Catholic baka niyaya ko pa yan mag Feast to Bro Bo Sanchez kasi recently ang topic is about to Avoid Jerk and Jerkettes then of course yung marriage kasama run. Nung ang naging topic is about marriage lahat raw talaga dapat pag-usapan kahit pa nga in laws eh! Tapos he gave example about wedding na yun nga ang naging usapan is most of people are busy with that samantalang ang pinakamahalaga is marriage. Wedding is just 60 minutes while marriage is 60 years.

I will give an example here in which I have posted before yung about sa neighbor namin. Long story pero I will make it short. Yung supposed to be bride is dating neighbor naman ng hubby ko. Bale neighbor ko yung groom dapat nito. Sa set up muna ako mag-start. Una nagpropose si supposed to be groom kay bride wanna be sa Tagaytay, which is bongga pa at may band raw. I could really imagine how fantastic and wonderful it could be kahit hindi ko nawitness. So ready na for the wedding. The venue must be in SMX in which they are going to rent it as million, well not so sure of exact price though I heard venue pa lang million na. Caterers were ready, suppliers and everything. My parents were invited too, but you know what happened? The father of the groom called all the supposed to be visitors including my parents around 2 days before the wedding just to inform that the wedding won't be happen anymore. You know why? although hindi namin ito nalaman agad kundi sa mga kwento kwento pa which is I believe it is reliable talaga. This is because of the bride's demands at doon rin lumabas ang totoong ugali niya. Pa upgrade ng pa-upgrade sa set up ng wedding, then nung nalaman niya na nagresign pa itong groom sa work dahil he will take charge of their bakery business, nilait ba naman nitong babae na "ano ipapakain mo sa akin pandesal?" eh samantalang doon yumaman ang neighbor namin and yet kaya nga sila makakapagpabonggang kasal because of that pandesal. Ang gastos nito ay more on sa family ng groom but then this supposed to be bride is just social climber lang naman. Years past na yung groom became married to his bestfriend and I believe they are already happy together.

Bro. Bo even mentioned yung kaya pinakasalan dahil binabantaan like sasaktan ang sarili. I forgot the exact term but the idea is hindi pa rin good idea na kaya mo papakasalan ay dahil binabantaan ka ng partner mo na sasaktan niya sarili niya or magpapakamatay kapag iniwan siya. That is not healthy marriage.

In my opinion lang, kung itutuloy pa niya ang marriage with that woman, I think he already know the consequences that he is going to face. Unlike kung ngayon hindi pa siya married, I can say na MALAYA pa sya at malaki pa ang pagkakataon na matatahimik ang buhay niya.

[moizzzelle]

moizzzelle Seems that the problem here is not just the wedding but the relationship here, future marriage life and yung papakasalan which is the bride to be. Kung ako friend niyan and he is Catholic baka niyaya ko pa yan mag Feast to Bro Bo Sanchez kasi recently ang topic is about to Avoid Jerk and Jerkettes then of course yung marriage kasama run. Nung ang naging topic is about marriage lahat raw talaga dapat pag-usapan kahit pa nga in laws eh! Tapos he gave example about wedding na yun nga ang naging usapan is most of people are busy with that samantalang ang pinakamahalaga is marriage. Wedding is just 60 minutes while marriage is 60 years.

I will give an example here in which I have posted before yung about sa neighbor namin. Long story pero I will make it short. Yung supposed to be bride is dating neighbor naman ng hubby ko. Bale neighbor ko yung groom dapat nito. Sa set up muna ako mag-start. Una nagpropose si supposed to be groom kay bride wanna be sa Tagaytay, which is bongga pa at may band raw. I could really imagine how fantastic and wonderful it could be kahit hindi ko nawitness. So ready na for the wedding. The venue must be in SMX in which they are going to rent it as million, well not so sure of exact price though I heard venue pa lang million na. Caterers were ready, suppliers and everything. My parents were invited too, but you know what happened? The father of the groom called all the supposed to be visitors including my parents around 2 days before the wedding just to inform that the wedding won't be happen anymore. You know why? although hindi namin ito nalaman agad kundi sa mga kwento kwento pa which is I believe it is reliable talaga. This is because of the bride's demands at doon rin lumabas ang totoong ugali niya. Pa upgrade ng pa-upgrade sa set up ng wedding, then nung nalaman niya na nagresign pa itong groom sa work dahil he will take charge of their bakery business, nilait ba naman nitong babae na "ano ipapakain mo sa akin pandesal?" eh samantalang doon yumaman ang neighbor namin and yet kaya nga sila makakapagpabonggang kasal because of that pandesal. Ang gastos nito ay more on sa family ng groom but then this supposed to be bride is just social climber lang naman. Years past na yung groom became married to his bestfriend and I believe they are already happy together.

Bro. Bo even mentioned yung kaya pinakasalan dahil binabantaan like sasaktan ang sarili. I forgot the exact term but the idea is hindi pa rin good idea na kaya mo papakasalan ay dahil binabantaan ka ng partner mo na sasaktan niya sarili niya or magpapakamatay kapag iniwan siya. That is not healthy marriage.

In my opinion lang, kung itutuloy pa niya ang marriage with that woman, I think he already know the consequences that he is going to face. Unlike kung ngayon hindi pa siya married, I can say na MALAYA pa sya at malaki pa ang pagkakataon na matatahimik ang buhay niya.

Oh my! Ang hirap naman ng ganyan. Pero I'm glad he finally found the one.

I was trying to brought up the topic kanina kay G2B. Kaso iniiba na niya usapan. Well, choice naman niya na yun. Hindi naman kami nagkulang sa pangaral.

[Missus O]

^ If I remember it correctly, pwedi sya makasuhan if he decides to bail on the day of their wedding, but if prior to that, pwedi pa.  Maybe he is confused at the moment. Nakakaawa lang if he chooses to go through and ends up miserable, hope it will turn out alright in the end.

[Purple_Power]

^Ganun ba yun? eh diba sa wedding itself naman tinatanong kung if you accept the bride or groom? I am wondering paano kung ang sagot sa mismong wedding ay NO?  Tapos diba tinatanong pa kung may tutol?

Alam ko yung sa neighbor ko may rinig rinig rin akong ganyan eh!

moizzzelle patay tayo dyan kung ayaw na niya pag-usapan. But I hope he still have more than 15 days para matauhan. Kung ganyan nga kahit ako friend masasabi ko wala na ako magagawa. But then ang masasabi ko he should be ready na lang for being a councilor of his wife. And kapag nagcomplain siya about his marriage life then now you and your friends can imposed to him na you all did your part and now it is his decision to choose, you and your friends just respect his decision lang. In other terms nung una pa lang tinulungan niyo na siya para masave from that horrible situation pero sino ba itong willing magtiis at lumagay sa ganyang situation?

Ang wedding masakit emotionally o sa bulsa kapag nacancel gaya nung nangyari sa neighbor ko pero nakamove on rin sila at naayos rin nila lahat. Ang marriage mas lalong magiging complicated kapag hindi naayos dahil maraming tao ang maaapektuhan, hindi lang mga magulang ng both families kundi pati yung future kids. Kapag naghiwalay sila in the middle of the marriage lalo na kapag may kids then another problem na naman na needs to be solved. Again ang masasabi ko hindi pa siya nakatali sa ibang tao.

[tiffany24]

nakaka stress naman si B2B 
I can relate cause i'm from Bulacan and my parents also wanted a fiesta kind of wedding but as an adult we already know what we wanted so my fiance and I were firm that we would have a limited guestlist and majority of our guest are friends who are close to us not relatives we barely see. May seperate na lang kami na handa sa mga kapitbahay probably the next day sabi ni H2B pero konti lang 
Anyway, binibigyan lang ni groom ng problema sarili niya sa ginagawa niya. The foundation of marriage should be love and respect hindi takutan at away. Hoping he finds time to reflect and make the right decision.

[Missus O]

@purplepower:  Legally, if you are jilted on the day of your wedding, then you can sue.  As expenses need to be paid for and such, wherein these things could have been sorted out days before.  And yung pagtatanung ng pari, I believe it is in reference to whether they came to wed with their own freewill (di ba nung unang panahon eh arranged marriage ang ibang kinakasal) , nobody coerced them, and of course they truly still love each other.  Here is the link where I read it from way before:

http://www.herword.com/herrights/main.php?id=breach_of_promise_to_marry 

[cornflakegirl]

pasali po mga sis. ang biggest problem syempre yung mga side ni groom
haha...ang dami kasi nilang say sa lahat at minsan nakakalito na kasi kami naman ang nagfund ng wedding.
 2nd problem ay yun nabanggit ko na nga.un lack of funds. kontodo kayaod kami ng magiging hubby ko
makaipon lang. sana maging maganda at maayos naman.

[yannuh]

pasali po mga sis. ang biggest problem syempre yung mga side ni groom
haha...ang dami kasi nilang say sa lahat at minsan nakakalito na kasi kami naman ang nagfund ng wedding.

sis need idetermine first how much ang willing kayong iallot for wedding tapos from there dun nyo idetermine ilan ang magkakasyang guests dun sa amount na yun. di pedeng go ng go sis, baka masacrifice ang wedding

2nd problem ay yun nabanggit ko na nga.un lack of funds. kontodo kayaod kami ng magiging hubby ko
makaipon lang. sana maging maganda at maayos naman.

sis gastusin lang ang kaya ha? wag pilitin OA ang wedding. meron naman mga simple wedding lang pero happy pa naman everyone:) search mo yung wedding below 150k na thread sis:)

[Purple_Power]

@purplepower:  Legally, if you are jilted on the day of your wedding, then you can sue.  As expenses need to be paid for and such, wherein these things could have been sorted out days before.  And yung pagtatanung ng pari, I believe it is in reference to whether they came to wed with their own freewill (di ba nung unang panahon eh arranged marriage ang ibang kinakasal) , nobody coerced them, and of course they truly still love each other.  Here is the link where I read it from way before:

http://www.herword.com/herrights/main.php?id=breach_of_promise_to_marry

Thank you very much for the info, I will keep this as reference and going to read later para siempre I have knowledge too when it comes to other legal matters.

pasali po mga sis. ang biggest problem syempre yung mga side ni groom
haha...ang dami kasi nilang say sa lahat at minsan nakakalito na kasi kami naman ang nagfund ng wedding.
 2nd problem ay yun nabanggit ko na nga.un lack of funds. kontodo kayaod kami ng magiging hubby ko
makaipon lang. sana maging maganda at maayos naman.

I strongly suggest talaga when it comes to wedding preparation just keep silent and don't open it up to the other members of family, relatives and even friends. Ang dami kasi dyan nanghihimasok eh, nagmamarunong na akala mo kung sinong magaling na fashionista, susunod lang sa uso tapos hindi naman na nagiging practical. Ang pakinggan mo ay yung sarili mo at ng partner mo huwag kang magfocus sa say ng iba dahil nakakalito talaga yan. Alalahanin mo the celebration is about you and your partner so huwag kang magplease ng ibang tao dahil when it comes to that preparation wala kang boss dyan kahit parents mo hindi mo sila boss.

Regarding naman sa kaunti ang funds maraming paraan dyan para makatipid, tanggapin man natin o hindi may isa isa ka pa ring supplier na dapat isakripisyo o kung ano ang dapat tipirin. Sabihin na natin lahat mahalaga pero ganun talaga meron ka nang hindi mo itutuloy na gagawin para magkasya budget niyo. Ang isipin niyo is saang part niyo gustong gumastos at magtipid.

After all mas mahalaga pa rin ang marriage rather than the 60 minutes or 1 day wedding celebration.