Problems you encounter while preparing for your wedding (Part 7)

[khalee]

Ang cute ng mga h2bs nyo sis fluffyfluff and edna_mode   
Same here si h2b hands on din sa wedding preps. Ultimo gown ko, gusto nya may say siya. Hahahah
He also doesn't want me to meet suppliers alone. Gusto nya kasama talaga siya. Sabi nga nya, bonding na din namin yun    I also gave him a my shortlist para dun siya mamili, most of the time ako pa din naman nagdedecide  But he would voice out pag may ayaw siya.

[120515]

im not suggesting this ha pero natatawa lang din ako kay h2b sa kanyang "motivation" today... we usually spend weekends together starting thursday palang... but for several weeks now hindi namin nagagawa because busy na with work and wedding preps...

si h2b since this morning nag te-text and tumatawag naglalambing asking that we spend the weekend together... so sabi ko hindi pwede because may mga suppliers ako na kelangan ko i-meet to iron out the details of the contract... tinanong nya kung sino yung mga suppliers na ito... at lo and behold.. pinag tatatawagan isa isa at yung mga items na dapat idiscuss, sha na mismo nag discuss.. After everything that he has done, naka ngisi pa na parang bata saying na tapos na daw nya gawin and now im free to go and spend the weekend with him  Men! 

sooo adorable 

[reese17]

ece, for the mean time, he's in charge of making our scheduled payments to various suppliers such as P/V, stylist, etc pero nakakalimutan pa rin! Ay caramba. But at the end of the day, I tell myself it's okay because he did provide a huge portion of the budget for our wedding. (Bear with me, I'm just PMS-ing siguro. Hehe.)

fluffyfluff, are you guys deciding on who picks who? My fiancé had/has the final say on our videographer, venue, menu, etc. while I picked the florist, OOTD, HMUA and photographer. We discussed pros and cons of each naman so it's not like he blindly chose. Maybe you can do the same?

edna_mode, nice strategy.

[fluffyfluff]

Sis edna_mode, groomzilla indeed!hehe sooo adorable naman ng h2b mo and sweet! I am super thankful that he's helping pero his OC-ness is adding to my stress!

Sis khalee haaay how I wish ako ang may final say, it would make planning easier haha polar opposite kasi kami ni h2b kaya ang hirap makahanap ng supplier na pasok sa ceiteria naming dalawa, so most of the time I just go with what he wants since mas choosy naman sya kesa sakin xp h2b din would want us to meet the suppliers together except for my designer. Hindi nga nya ako sinasamahan as in, kahit makakita ng wedding gown ayaw nya, baka daw masira yung surprise for that day.haha and yes, for those getting married, ang mga movie/dinner dates ay napapalitan ng oculars, food tastings and bridal fairs xp

Sis reese17, he wants the two of us to decide on the suppliers hence our weird "system" in choosing, well all the suppliers except for the ones doing the gowns and hmua since "its a girl thing". I read a post once from an h2b saying that the reason he's not that hands on because he doesn't want to be a burden to his b2b since he doesn't know much about wedding preps and also because he finds it weird that the women prepare so far ahead. 3 months before the wedding is when he felt the wedding vibe and started to be more active on helping the bride, so maybe he'll come around one of these days

[sakura30]

Mga Sis!

Pwedeng parant?
Our wedding preps were all in secret. Ayos na lahat so finally sinabi na namin sa relatives and family namin. Sa family ko okay naman excited sil and they respected kung anong klaseng wedding gusto namin.

Nababadtrip ako sa isa kong tita. Limited lang kase invited kong relatives, parang representative na lang per family. So etong tita ko, 2 seats ang allotted for her and one member of her family.

When I told her about the limited guests, ang sabi ba naman siguraduhin ko daw na walang magtatampo. At bakit daw limited ang guests ko. Kung pera daw ang problem, pwede naman gawan ng paraan.

Nainis ako kase instead na icongratulate muna kami o kaya magoffer ng help, yung limited guest ang napansin. Sabi ko almost doble ang guest ko sa h2b ko. Ayoko ng dagdagan kase ayokong maoverwhelm yung side ni h2b.

Kinompara niya yung wedding ng cousin ko. Sabi niya yung sa cousin ko nga daw triple ang guests para mainvite lang lahat.

Alam kong mababaw pero nainis ko, sabi ko na lang, yun na po ang plan namin. Set na lahat. At hindi ko naman kaclose lahat ng kamag- anak natin. Sagot niya, ah ganun ba. Tapos nagoffline. (sa FB chat lang kame nagusap)

Hay, kainis diba? Yun lang mga Sis. Happy preps!

[hallerski]

Mga Sis! Pwedeng parant?
Nababadtrip ako sa isa kong tita. Limited lang kase invited kong relatives, parang representative na lang per family. So etong tita ko, 2 seats ang allotted for her and one member of her family.

When I told her about the limited guests, ang sabi ba naman siguraduhin ko daw na walang magtatampo. At bakit daw limited ang guests ko. Kung pera daw ang problem, pwede naman gawan ng paraan.

it's common to get this reaction from relatives esp if big yung family both sides.  what you can do is tell your parents about it then maybe your parents can tell their siblings (your tito's/tita's) the situation.  Not naman in an explaining way but casual kwentuhan lang nilang magkakapatid na limited guests nga lang kaya parang representative na lang per family.  suggestion lang  

[caleeice]

I agree. It's really a good idea to have your parents or another tito/tita to explain the circumstances or to reason with these relatives. I had titos and titas who volunteered themselves as guests to our wedding. We were fortunate that one of their siblings talked to them. So these titos and titas just attended our post-wedding celebration So we got to cross off a lot on our guest list (including their children hehe) and there were no hard feelings.

[belle_v2g]

Hehe I agree. usual tantrums of relatives yan ang dahilan. I agree sa advise ng other sissies. Let your mum and dad do the talking for you. so far, no one complained with our headcount per family too. Although may mga pasaway na pinilit talagang magsama ng iba kahit sinabi naming di pwede. We wrote 2 sa invites, dumating sila, lima!! Di ba??

Kalma lang sis, madami pa yan mangiinis sayo especially pag near the date na.. especially pag rsvp, hehe..

[sakura30]

Thank you mga Sis!

Actually siya lang naman ang may reklamo. Yung iba kong relatives okay lang at naintindihan naman nila. Kaya hindi ko na naisip na parents ko na magexplain o magsabi kase sa iba okay naman nung sinabi ko. Sana wala ng maginarte. Ang mas nainis ako yun kagad ang reaction nya. Wala man lang congratulations or thank you for inviting us. Baka sensitive lang ako.

[Maxim04]

^ang hirap naman nun sis belle!! Do you have place cards sa tables? We have seating arrangement kasi to be placed during the registration so they can find which table they will be seating. If your guest is not in your list, san sila naupo? Super nakakahiya mag gate crash, some people really dont mind talaga ano.. hehe.. Pano sila hinandle ng coords mo?

Naloka ako sa sinabi mo na madami pang nakakainis moments! tee hee!.

[corpse_bride]

Ugh.. 3 weeks palang kami nag pprepare nasstress na ko ng bongga sa family ko 1 year bang ganito?

[msdianne]

Me too ( My fiancé is Filipino-Chinese they're really into traditional Chinese wedding which for me is not applicable because I'm not Chinese. But I need to respect and conform. I said no to Ting Hun but I think the family is taking it against me because I want a small and intimate wedding.

[Maxim04]

When I told her about the limited guests, ang sabi ba naman siguraduhin ko daw na walang magtatampo. At bakit daw limited ang guests ko. Kung pera daw ang problem, pwede naman gawan ng paraan.
Kinompara niya yung wedding ng cousin ko. Sabi niya yung sa cousin ko nga daw triple ang guests para mainvite lang lahat.

Alam kong mababaw pero nainis ko, sabi ko na lang, yun na po ang plan namin. Set na lahat. At hindi ko naman kaclose lahat ng kamag- anak natin. Sagot niya, ah ganun ba. Tapos nagoffline. (sa FB chat lang kame nagusap)

Sis nakakainis aaaahhh!  Strict ako sa guestlist namin. Ayaw ko may mag gate crash sa side ko kasi andami na namain at nakakahiya sa side ni htb. Hindi naman sila Grade 1 para d makaintindi ng RSVP. Even friends nga just nice lang sa side namin each. kung ikukumpara nila ang guestlist ninyong magpinsan, magkaiba talaga yun. we dont invite to please them, minsan nga andun lang sila to make pintas, to make kain, tapos hanap ng d maganda. sad but sorry naman.. tee hee!

Me too ( My fiancé is Filipino-Chinese they're really into traditional Chinese wedding which for me is not applicable because I'm not Chinese. But I need to respect and conform. I said no to Ting Hun but I think the family is taking it against me because I want a small and intimate wedding.

^sis chinese kasi is more on quantity than the quality. i attended a pure chinese ceremony. reality bites - its pera-pera lang. Chinese weddings will provide ampao box at the entrance. making sure all guests will give money. somebody will tick your name if you give money. Second is their ceremony. The htb family will 'buy' the bride from her parents. they will give the bride a set of jewelries, a cash to the parents, parang dowry. this is in view of 'kapalit'. One of my kakilala give back some of the money. Say the htb parents gave 500k cash to the parents of the bride, binalik yung 400k.  things like that. sabi eh para daw 'd ka hawakan sa leeg ng in laws mo", dahil "d ka nila totally nabili".  They will give ampao to the bride's parents. so just ampao back the unwanted money. 

[j.adore]

Me too ( My fiancé is Filipino-Chinese they're really into traditional Chinese wedding which for me is not applicable because I'm not Chinese. But I need to respect and conform. I said no to Ting Hun but I think the family is taking it against me because I want a small and intimate wedding.

Naku, alam ko big deal yun to respect tradition. You should have at least agreed to a simple ting hun.
At this stage, also recognize they have A LOT of traditions and every time may hindi nasunod, it is frowned upon by their circles. I hope not but they usually take it against other cultures something like, Pilipino kasi.

[sakura30]

Sis Maxim 04, I agree with you. Kung sino pa yung mga relatives sila pa yung pupunta lang para makikain. Tapos may masasabi pa. Sa totoo lang, ininvite lang naman sila out of courtesy minsan in respect sa blood relationship. Sana walang mag gate crash on our weddings. Nilagay ko sa invitation ko Strictly RSVP tapos No confirmation, no seat. No invitation, no seat. I don't want to sound harsh pero minsan kelangan for our peace of mind din.

Sis msdianne, what did you h2b said? Traditional Chinese wedding ba gusto nya? Suggestion lang, why not have 2 wedding celebrations na lang? One traditional and one small and intimate so you can also have the kind of wedding you wish to have.
 
Sis corpse_bride, tons of patience ang kelangan. Hehe! In our case, we kept the preps in secret. Kala ko hindi na ko mastress pag sinabi namin na okay na lahat. Pero meron pa ring mga tao na ewan ko ba. Kaya mo yan!

[corpse_bride]

^Sis sakura30 that's what I've been doing na nga. Buti nalang hands on si H2B. But sometimes my mom asks me updates or suggets something in front of my sisters so humahaba yung discussion of matters that should have been between me & my H2B. Like the other day may pinuntahan kaming wedding, one sister was like sa kasal mo wag ganyan. I (jokingly) told her kasal ko yun, controlin mo nalang kasal ng anak mo. Then yesterday naman, one sister saw my message to my mom's designer from my mom's cellphone (para mabilis akong reply-an). They've resent it daw without even asking me if I've received an email from them na. She proceeded with talking about who to get for entourage gowns without asking my considerations. Then nung kinontra ko her "suggestions" di na ko kinausap, which is her ugali when she knows I'm right. Major ugggh talaga. My ugali pa naman is ayokong pinakikialaman coz I'm the kind of person who asks for help kahit na 10% puzzled lang ako. I have this bad feeling I'll be a bridezilla.

Me too ( My fiancé is Filipino-Chinese they're really into traditional Chinese wedding which for me is not applicable because I'm not Chinese. But I need to respect and conform. I said no to Ting Hun but I think the family is taking it against me because I want a small and intimate wedding.

But will you be getting your intimate wedding? I'm not. We're both Filipino-Chinese but my family is used to us (older sisters) having "intimate" weddings in [textspeak!]-Chi context (300 guests or less). Have a ting hun na. It looks fun. Or have a simple one just to appease your FILs

[belle_v2g]

^ang hirap naman nun sis belle!! Do you have place cards sa tables? We have seating arrangement kasi to be placed during the registration so they can find which table they will be seating. If your guest is not in your list, san sila naupo? Super nakakahiya mag gate crash, some people really dont mind talaga ano.. hehe.. Pano sila hinandle ng coords mo?

Naloka ako sa sinabi mo na madami pang nakakainis moments! tee hee!.

We do have place cards per person on every table. I never learned about this until after the wedding na lang when my mum told me. Apparently, ninong ko pa itong nagpasaway. I allocated 2 seats for him and his wife. He confirmed 2 seats during the rsvp. While at was at the car, waiting for the ceremony to start, i saw his 2 girls plus his daughter's bf. I knew from there, hindi sila invited and I'm surprised bakit andoon sila. The other daughter was wearing pants pa ha! But since I don't wanna get stressed hinayaan ko na lang. During the reception, yes tinoxic nila ang coords ko. Pinipilit nila that they confirmed daw. Haha! Sinabi ng coordinator na they will definitely allocate a seat for my ninong's plus 3. (We have 10 seats sa buffer) Anyway, itong PS ko, di maka antay, ginulo ang mum ko after so ayun. I heard nawalan ng seats yung tita ko at pinsan because pinilit nilang umupo near the vip table. Hahaha!

I think nafeel din naman ng plus 3 na medyo out sila kase they don't have, of course, place cards, tapos not on proper attire. All other guests are wearing long gowns and suit. Sila mismo daw hesitant ng umupo, yung PS ko lang daw mapilit. Some people talaga are hard to handle. Pinasakit nila ulo ng mum ko.

[papemelroti]

^sis chinese kasi is more on quantity than the quality. i attended a pure chinese ceremony. reality bites - its pera-pera lang. Chinese weddings will provide ampao box at the entrance. making sure all guests will give money. somebody will tick your name if you give money. Second is their ceremony. The htb family will 'buy' the bride from her parents. they will give the bride a set of jewelries, a cash to the parents, parang dowry. this is in view of 'kapalit'. One of my kakilala give back some of the money. Say the htb parents gave 500k cash to the parents of the bride, binalik yung 400k.  things like that. sabi eh para daw 'd ka hawakan sa leeg ng in laws mo", dahil "d ka nila totally nabili".  They will give ampao to the bride's parents. so just ampao back the unwanted money. 

A wedding by mainland chinese/ fresh immigrants are different than 2nd-4th generation pure chinese.

My wedding will be less than 300. I decided not to have a tinghun too although my grooms family wanted one at first. Personally, I follow traditions if it makes sense for me and I have at least a few family members agreeing to my preference. I told h2b, rather than focus on following these wedding traditions to a T, lets use that time to make sure the mandarin and fookien language will be passed on to future generations. I want to keep the tradition of making sure my family can speak 5 or more languages.

depending on the family, they can choose to be low key and not even have so many bling during tinghun then… will give the equivalent (and usually) so much more to the couple without guests ever knowing. House in GH/ Forbes etc vs jewellery is not unheard of.

[sakura30]

Something came up na naman. Kagabi, while h2b were talking napansin ko medyo sad siya. Nung una di niya sinasabi kase di rin niya din alam bakit parang ang lungkot niya. I played psychologist until finally narealize niya na sad siya because of his family.

When he told his parents and brother that we're getting married, napaka-lukewarm ng reply. Hindi sila against pero talagang parang wala lang. He told his brother through SMS, ang reply lang is "Okay. Nice." He also asked his parents if pwede ba maging ninong/ ninang yung kakilala nila. Ang sagot lang is "Okay, kausapin mo na lang." Di man lang nagvolunteer na sila na kumausap. Hindi rin nagtatanong ng details about the wedding. Hindi nagask kung kelan pwedeng mamanhikan. Kung hindi nya pa sabihin na bumili na ng damit or iarrange yung accomodation, parang wala lang.

Pinakanakakainis pa, alam na may upcoming wedding kami, sa kanya pa nanghihingi ng expenses sa bahay kahit nagbigay na siya.

His family are not close. His parents are living separately. Hindi siya nageexpect ng financial support for our wedding pero sana daw kahit konting interest magpakita man lang.

Nalungkot ako for him kase hindi naman madramang tao yun. So it takes a lot before maging-sad talaga siya. Sabi ko na lang, pagpray na lang natin na maging successful ang wedding and his parents can see na okay siya even without their help or emotional support. Pero syempre, I know iba pa rin pag nakikita mo na excited ang family mo for you.

Yun lang mga Sis. Grabe 2 days in a row na ko dito. Haha.

[olai]

Hi girls!

Actually this "problem" was last May pa. My bestfriend who is my MOH got pregnant. Not just that, her due date is one week after our wedding, So, that means, there's a very high probability thatshe's not gonna meke it in my wedding. Pregnancy was unplanned, though she's married na. Of course I got sad and I don't know what to do about the MOH role. She's very sad too that she's not gonna be able to fulfill her MOh roles. But every child is a blessing. 

I was thinking who will replace her role as MOH but I could not think of anyone since I also don't have a sister. And I don't want to make changes in the entourage. Then I decided not to replace her. I'll distribute her duties to my bridesmaids. All she has to do is to record her speech.

After all, MOH is just a ceremony role.