How I rose above/survived/triumphed over infidelity in my marriage

[undecided2]

Kagaya niyo, my husband cheated on me. Twice. Hindi sana mahuhuli ang unang pang cheat niya sa akin but God is Good talaga and love niya ako. Hindi niya hinayaang maloko ako ng matagal.

Very inspiring mga stories niyo, sa paano kayo naka tayo,bumangon, nag move on,lumaban at nagpatawad. Thank you for sharing and for giving me/us (na fresh pa lang yon infidelity issue) inspiration and lakas ng loob.

Someday, makaka move on din ako and looking forward to it (its either to let go or to hold on pa) soon, makakapag post din ako ng happy ending ko with my story with or without my husband.

Thank you and Have a Merry Christmas to all of us GT sisters! 😍😍😍

[twelvth_goddess]

Your stories are so inspiring. I admire you sis Ayka.

I'd like to share my story from another viewpoint naman. It was I who had an affair. With a lesbian. No amount of justification will make up for it but I am owning upt o my mistakes because ultimately, it was my decision to give in to it. I was emotionally distressed due to my stepdad's terminal illness which eventually led to his death and my mom's repeated hospitalizations. My husband has always been very supportive and caring naman but there so many times that he wasn't there when I needed someone to talk to. I fell for my lesbian friend and he found out about it.

2017 was a very tough year on our marriage. I tried my best to make up for my sin. My husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore and that we're only staying together because of our daughter. I accepted all the harsh words from him. Until this day, he maintains that he feels nothing but care na lang for me. Although he's still very affectionate towards me, he told me not to mistake it for love. I'm a fool because I still have hope. He doesnt want to try counselling or workshops and I respect that. Like what I've said, I am owning up to my mistakes, I still perform my duties as a wife kahit pa hinde na ganon tingin nya saken.

I hope I can let go of control too. That's the one thing that's pulling me down to depression. I am striving to get to know myself more so I can be a better person.

[confusedkelly]

Very Inspiring story Ayka.

I am going through the same situation right now and it pains me a lot. It's more difficult kase my husband is denying it kahit may proof na. He's inisisting na wala sya alam at ginagawang masama. How can I move on and forgive if wala man lang acceptance and remorse from his end?

I hope to mangyari din sa amin yan. I will try to understand and put more effort on my self worth like you did, be a wife to him and continue to be a loving mom to our kids (take note we have a 3 month old baby boy) and see where will this take us and until when ko ito kakayanin.

Right now i'm confused and hurt. I hope one day maging okay ang lahat just like you.

[stormy_princess]

Iba talaga if you surrendered to God all that you have. He's always there. Ako I'm so grateful and blessed and by God's intervention din naging maayos ang marriage namin. We have been through hell but with God's grace nalampasan din namin lahat.

[dollyian]

so happy for the women whose marriage survived after infidelity...pero may iba na hindi na talaga maayos gaya ng sa akin...hindi ko kayang palampsain yung ginawang panloloko ng asawa ko kasi nawakan ako ng tiwala at gana sa kanya.

[naizlabonita]

I always think na yung mga women na naka survive or naka move on after infidelity are one of the strongest women. Iba yung emotional pain ng na betray yung iba nga nababaliw eh or nagkaka trauma, I have been betrayed  a few times, with different girls. Yung iba flirt flirt lang pero for me of course it is already cheating.
I am still moving on pero ang laking tulong talaga ng prayers and yung focusing on yourself. Invest and improve yourself, kasi pag nakikita ka nyang nag iimprove maiinfluence mo siya to do good din.
Tapos pag nakikita nyang kaya mo na na ikaw lang ewan ko na lang kung di yan matakot. hehe
Deal Breaker for me is siguru pag sinabihan na ako na.. Hindi na kita mahal. I will go na talaga.

[Girltalker2]

Deal Breaker for me is siguru pag sinabihan na ako na.. Hindi na kita mahal. I will go na talaga.

Eh paano kung May I love you pero iba iba babae din sinasabihan nya. Marami kasi hanggang Sabi  lang pero action speak louder than words as they say. Kung di naman substantiated Ang words nya with his actions, balewala Ang mga nanggagaling sa bibig nya. You can?t use his words as your basis for your lufe?s Decisions - kung magstay or aalis Ka - kasi ultimately ikaw dapat Ang gumagawa ng decision mo based sa gaano mo kagusto maging masaya ang buhay mo (na within your control).

 

[mysterioza_me]

^Yan situation ng bro ko. Parehas niyang sinasabihan ng i love you yung 2 babae. Yung dalawang t@ng@ naman paniwalang-paniwala na mas mahal sila kumpara dun sa isa. Ang nangyayari pa silang 2 babae ang nag-aaway imbes na parehong iwan ang bro ko. Nagcocompete sila sa attention ng bro ko. Mga desperada. Kakapikon ang mga biset na yun. Text pa ng text at tawag sa bahay. Pati mga kamag-anak namin pini-pm kapag nagaaway sila ng kapatid ko or ng babae. Kaka-stress sila. Sabi namin wag na lang pansinin. Ang gulo-gulo nila. Kaming magkakapatid galit sa bro ko, pati parents ko lagi siyang pinagsasabihan. Kapal ng mukha ng kapatid ko pati mga babae. Kakainit ng ulo.

[naizlabonita]

Eh paano kung May I love you pero iba iba babae din sinasabihan nya. Marami kasi hanggang Sakura lang pero action speak louder than words as they say. Kung di naman substantiated Ang words nya with his actions, balewala Ang mga nanggagaling sa bibig nya. You can?t use his words as your basis for your lufe?s Decisions - kung magstay or aalis Ka - kasi ultimately ikaw dapat Ang gumagawa ng decision mo based sa gaano mo kagusto maging masaya ang buhay mo (na within your control).

Chill sis.
Hmm siguru isa lang sa factor pero kung dalawa kame or tatlo o sampu na ina ay labyu edi  i gotta go my own way. Sorry di ko pa na explain masyado pero kung hindi na nya ako mahal and it manifests naman syempre good bye .. pero kung mahal niya daw ako pero Im not seeing it as it is..since madame siyang mahal..edi goodbye na din.

[ayka]

Hello everyone!

It's been 2 years since I posted this. And it's been more than 4 years since the affair. I have been reading all your responses and I feel heartbroken for those who are going through the same ordeal.
It's painful and disheartening when I discovered that my spouse betrayed me. I felt like my world crumbled and I had nothing to live for. I was in that state until I decided to let go of control, because I finally accepted that I cannot control my husband's feelings and actions. I can only control myself and how I deal with devastation. I stopped begging and pleading for him to come back and love me again. Instead, I focused on loving myself too and regaining my self worth. I still love him and wanted to work out our marriage. It was hard because we were living under the same roof. He didn't talk to me that much. We didn't really "sleep together". I can feel the disdain and anger through his eyes whenever he looked at me. He was still communicating with the other woman. In all honesty, I planned to hold on until I get tired and eventually give up. That wasn't easy. Until one day he hugged me and said "Ayusin natin ito".
I can tell that I have healed because when I look back, I no longer feel pain. I think maybe we were really meant to be together and stay together. It could have gone the other way, and I may be divorced and single right now. Remember, I decided to hold on until I get tired and give up. It just so happened he turned around before I completely let go.

So stay strong mga sis, find your worth and love yourselves again. It's not easy. But with God's help, you'll survive.

[Rory_Lorelie_Gilmore]

Thank you for sharing TS. 

[pinkunicorn93]

I've been looking for someone to share my sentiments with regarding this. I joined girltalk kasi maybe, just maybe, may makakarelate? (and I sincerely hope wala) or may makikinig. I've been seeing a lot of stories about guys who cheated on their wives. Same with you sis, I was the one who cheated. Same, I was in a very stressful job that no one understands. I fell for this guy who patiently listens, understands. My husband, who had a different working environment, did not understand every single thing that I am going thru. Stressed out ako lagi, hanggang sa, ayun I fell for the guy. HIndi ko rin naman kayo masisisi if magagalit or maiinis kayo sa akin. Aminado ako sa kasalanan ko, at pinagsisisihan ko yun.

We tried counseling, pero siguro it takes two to tango talaga. I'd like to believe na there's still hope pero since ako nga yung nagkamali, wala naman akong choice kung hindi hayaan nalang kung ayaw na ni husband diba? I am still struggling with my marriage kasi sabi nya napatawad na nya ako, but I know hindi pa. it's been almost two years pero wala, feeling ko nagppretend lang sya. And I can't blame him.

Your stories are so inspiring. I admire you sis Ayka.

I'd like to share my story from another viewpoint naman. It was I who had an affair. With a lesbian. No amount of justification will make up for it but I am owning upt o my mistakes because ultimately, it was my decision to give in to it. I was emotionally distressed due to my stepdad's terminal illness which eventually led to his death and my mom's repeated hospitalizations. My husband has always been very supportive and caring naman but there so many times that he wasn't there when I needed someone to talk to. I fell for my lesbian friend and he found out about it.

2017 was a very tough year on our marriage. I tried my best to make up for my sin. My husband told me that he doesn't love me anymore and that we're only staying together because of our daughter. I accepted all the harsh words from him. Until this day, he maintains that he feels nothing but care na lang for me. Although he's still very affectionate towards me, he told me not to mistake it for love. I'm a fool because I still have hope. He doesnt want to try counselling or workshops and I respect that. Like what I've said, I am owning up to my mistakes, I still perform my duties as a wife kahit pa hinde na ganon tingin nya saken.

I hope I can let go of control too. That's the one thing that's pulling me down to depression. I am striving to get to know myself more so I can be a better person.

[kvandenhaak]

^Everyone deserves a second chance. If you admit to your mistakes and willing to do everything to win him back, then I don't see why it can't happen. Pray for it too!

[happysoull18]

^^for me its really hard to forgive and Forget what the cheating partner did. I gave second chance to husband but almost everyday I struggle to forget. It's just been weeks so I also don't know when I'll completely heal from the hurt of betrayal. . So pedeng sa husband mo 2 years is not enough for him to heal.  Continue to understand him and show you'll be faithful na.

[bwiset12]

^ ako sis, its been 5 or 6 yrs. sa una mahirap talaga makalimot, pero for me, as time goes by, mawawala na din sa isip mo yun. Kasi you will focus na on the beautiful things na nangyayari sa inyo sa present, at mawawalan ka na ng time isipin yung mga hindi magandang nangyari. Pero yun lang hindi totally lahat. Ako from time to time may mga bad memories akong naalala, pero  mas nagfofocus ako sa mga magandang bagay na nangyayari at mangyayari pa sa amin.  Tinatawanan na lang namin yan pag napag uusapan namin yung topic about his infidelity noon.