Sugar Mommy at 23.

[lonelymiss28]

mga sis hihingi sana ako ng POV nyo kung ano dapat kong gawin....actually namin mag-asawa. ganito yun....

May step daughter (SD) ako 23 na ngayon, grabeh...super bait nun, masipag, matalino, halos lahat nasa kanya na... eto ngayon ang siste...may bf sya na 5 yrs older than her...ngayong june pa lang magtatapos ng college at gusto na nila magsama kaso may kasunduan daw sila na si guy mag-aaral ulit ng university (hindi ko alam among course kukunin) at 4 na taon pa syang mag-aaral...ngayon tanong namin so kung balik eskwela ulit si bf sino gagastos sa bahay??? so usapan daw nila ni bf, for the MEANTIME, si step daughter MUNA gagastos like pambayad ng apartment, pagkain, baon, tagahatid sundo ni bf, etc as in lahat at yun na raw napagkasunduan nila ni bf.

ewan ko ba sa sd ko, halos lahat ng naging bf nya ganyan. yung bf nya 6'4", 350 lbs tapos ayaw magtrabaho yung laki nyang yun...anak ko pa bubuhay sa kanya. ewan ko ba nag-iinit ulo ko. by the way canadian sila.

Si SD, chemical engineer sya sa oil  company, si bf chem eng din ga graduate nitong june.

[ri-anne]

Actually, at that age, mahirap na diktahan yan kung ano gagawin. They're already adults who can decide for themselves what they want.
The best and only thing you can do is give advice, guidance, sabihin pros and cons and The Risks ng situation na papasukan nya.
But ultimately, si SD p rin talaga may final say. And there's really nothing else you can do if she decides to push through with it, especially kung sariling pera nya naman yung ipanggagastos nya.

[Girltalker2]

Kapal mukha ng guy

[lonelymiss28]

Nag-usap kami kanina ng anak ko. Sabi naman nya for 4 months lang daw walang trabaho bf nya and after that ay maghahanap naman, although di naman namin alam reasons nya, kung yun talaga gusto nila at dun sila masaya nasa kanina na yun sabi namin ng asawa ko and importante masaya sila sa desisyon nila at wala silang pagsisishan balang araw.

[Girltalker2]

^ just tell her to make sure she sets aside money for herself for rainy days and her retirement.

Baka inisip nya anytime naman need nila money, they can approach you.

[twenty5]

I expect na makikita kita dito sis Girltalker2 hehe

TS: naku sis kung ako yan ang dami ko ng nasabi dyan kaso 23 na e.

Maganda dyan sis kausap mong mabuti. Tama nga na ibigay mo saknya lahat ng pros and cons. Baka kasi after 4 years iwanan din hehe (nega  ko ahahha) malay kasi natin e... heheh though hindi ko naman kilala yung guy e kaso baka nga malapitan ng mahaharot na babae ahahahahah nangyayare kasi minsan e. ahaa

[lonelymiss28]

Sa ngayon kasi nasa blissful stage pa anak ko. But when reality sets in dun nya mararamdaman state ng sitwasyon nya na kasama walang trabahong lalaki. Nakakaawa man kung yun ang pinagpipilitan na gusto kahit away man wala na rin kaming magagawa kundi suportahan kagustuhan nya. Saka nag pustahan kami kahapon na kung hindi magkakatrabaho bf nya in 4 months at sila pa rin bibigyan nya kami ng tig $500 ng tatay nya, pero if he keeps one job in 2 years me ang her dad will give her $500 each. Nag agree naman sya. So lets see! This is gonna be exciting.

[lovemeagain30]

It's awesome to read that your SD is very much close to you and even takes your opinion about her decision constructively. At least she knows that you may not agree on her decision but still you are there to support her. Most likely kung mag failed man yan hindi siya matatakot bitawan or bumalik sainyo kasi alam niya na andiyan kayo for her. Yun naman kasi ang kailangan ng mga young adults na katulad niya na maramdaman na andiyan ang pamilya kahit hindi mag workout ang relasyon na pinapasok nila. The more hinigpitan mo kasi -- the more lumalayo. may sarili na kasi sila pag iisip and usually gusto nila ipakita sa lahat na kaya na nila mag decide on their own. And we should let them be. If one day things didn't work out, she knew she could always come home. Hindi kailangan mag stay sa relasyon kasi wala naman kailangan patunayan sa family na babalikan.

I'm speaking for myself when I was at her age. I also felt the same emotions of being head over heels and on top of the world. The least I want to feel nun eh hindi ako suportado ng pamilya ko. The more gusto kong patunayan na mali sila-- kahit ba in the end mag suffer ako sa decision ko mapanindigan ko lang.

[lonelymiss28]

^Thanks sa input sis, Yun naman lagi namin sinasabi sa anak ko na dumating man araw na di mag work out relationship nya andito lang kami lagi and hwag syang mahihiyang bumalik sa bahay. Next month na sila magsasama, well hopefully magkaroon na ng trabaho si guy dahil yun lang naman ang concern namin sa kanya for now. Di mo naman kasi masasabi agad ugali nung tao dahil bago pa lang sila.

[prettydefined]

Kausapin mo SD mo sis. Tell her ang mga magiging condequences ng gusto nila. At dapat meron sila plano. At huwag sana mabuntis muna ganung mag -aaral pa ulit sila. Dahil kung mangyari yun mahihirapan sila at malaki ang chance na hindi na sila makapag-aral ulit. Diretsuhin mo sila sis na napakahirap. Baka sakali magbago pa isip ni SD. Sana magbago pa isip nya. Mas magiging magaan para sa kanya kunf mag-aadal sya ulit na andyan sya sayo.

[jsoberano]

It's awesome to read that your SD is very much close to you and even takes your opinion about her decision constructively. At least she knows that you may not agree on her decision but still you are there to support her. Most likely kung mag failed man yan hindi siya matatakot bitawan or bumalik sainyo kasi alam niya na andiyan kayo for her. Yun naman kasi ang kailangan ng mga young adults na katulad niya na maramdaman na andiyan ang pamilya kahit hindi mag workout ang relasyon na pinapasok nila. The more hinigpitan mo kasi -- the more lumalayo. may sarili na kasi sila pag iisip and usually gusto nila ipakita sa lahat na kaya na nila mag decide on their own. And we should let them be. If one day things didn't work out, she knew she could always come home. Hindi kailangan mag stay sa relasyon kasi wala naman kailangan patunayan sa family na babalikan.

I'm speaking for myself when I was at her age. I also felt the same emotions of being head over heels and on top of the world. The least I want to feel nun eh hindi ako suportado ng pamilya ko. The more gusto kong patunayan na mali sila-- kahit ba in the end mag suffer ako sa decision ko mapanindigan ko lang.

^very well said sis lovemeagain30.  totally agree. we learned the hardest way. matututo tayo sa experiences natin kapag nasaktan tayo.  the more sakit, the more na natututo. and if merong family to support and back you up, it is easy to move on.  and of course prayers din.

siguro ang sakin na lang wag na lang gatong ang pag guide; kase minsan sa sobrang bwisit natin dami nating nasasabi na pagsisisihan natin in the end.

[lonelymiss28]

Update: bf still have no job. kakalipat lang nilasa bago nilang apartment about 2 weeks ago. ang bago naman nilang plano mag-ibang probinsya (Canada), about 4 hrs from here at dun maghahanap si bf ng work, si anak naman magre-resign para sumama kay bf dahil ang reason nya ayaw naman nya talaga sa work nya....chenes lang yun in my opinion. So both sila walang trabaho in a new place and to think anak ko lang may savings so panigurado anak ko mag shoulder lahat ng expenses. But anyway, ayoko na stress sarili ko sa kanila, buhay nila yun...sila mag decide nun...if in case mauntog sya at magising ...isa lang sasabihin ko sa kanya...."I told you".

[yn061515]

your SD is old enough to know what's right from wrong so IMO let her na lang to experience the consequence of her decisions/choices. Even though you can help her decide, or suggest what to do, I don't think naman she would listen. You cannot force them naman diba? Sa ganyan din sila matututo at magiging wise. Malay natin, si SD mo muna sasagot for now pero later on maging super successful yung guy at maging buhay reyna naman si SD mo diba? We can never really tell. Just let her live her life.
Kung masasaktan, accept and comfort her with open arms. Life is supposed to be lived ika nga!