Got questions regarding men? Post it here! (Thread 7)

[dismembered]

^ Alam mo naman pala ang tama bakit hindi mo rin tulungan na lang sya gawin ang tama? Wag mo na i-provoke na gawin nya ang hindi tama? Sa totoo lang complicated nga talaga. Complicated ang buhay nya, complicated ang sitwasyon nyo... gusto mo din bang maging complicated ang buhay mo? Kung gusto mo, then ok lang... pero kung ayaw mo at ayaw mo din masaktan, then do kung ano ang alam mong tama.

[Evolet027]

@dismembered @Tomhansen

thanks sa pagsagot. oo parang stalking na nga ang ginagawa nya. I cant tell my husband kasi nagka issue na sya dito sa ex na ito before at baka pag nalaman nya na gang ngayon eh me kulit pa to, alam nya kasi bahay nito at natatakot ako sa eksena na posibleng mangyari.

Hindi na ko nagreply sa last message nya, seen zoned lang kasi na open ko message nya eh.

[badw33d]

^sounds like you still like him... NO NO NO... you still love him. you don't want to tell your husband coz he might do something to him right? why protect this ex? i don't get the point.

[mooncake and leaves]

Patchuchai: You need to end this relationship if you guys are not on the same page with a lot of things. Couples can have differences but they can not disagree on the big stuff, like having children or getting married. You want to have kids and you want to get married, yes? These are things he can not give you and you will eventually resent him if you stay with him. It will not be fair to you to give up on these life goals the same way it will not be fair and realistic for him to come out of his retired-from-life life just so you guys get to keep the relationship.

Now that you've discussed these issues, it's become clear that his hesitation to have sex with you has nothing to do with his age or level of energy or interest. He doesn't want further attachment especially from your end. He may like you, he may have even fallen for you but he knows this is a dead-end relationship. If you're gung-ho about him now, can you imagine how much deeper you'll go once you've sampled his sweet, sweet love hehe. Cut your ties, now. Just be happy that you met a man who is decent, fun and sexy and obviously aged well enough to hook someone 18 yrs younger. They don't make them like that anymore. Loljk.

[amethyst028]

question to guys. wala ba kayong age limit when it comes to meeting and dating women? like 5yrs. older 5yrs. younger than you max. something like that.

i was in this online dating site and may nag message sakin na 56yrs. old, i'm mid 30's but i look young for my age mukha akong early 20's sabi nila. he's caucasian and they often look more mature. i am just wondering why some guys would go for women who are way younger. yung malaki talaga ang age gap.
i told him i can introduce him to my single friends who are in their 40's. for me kasi hindi ko kaya pumatol sa guy na malaki ang age gap sakin. offensive ba yung kung sabihan kang may ipapa kilala sayo na mas closer sa age mo?

[badw33d]

^ Personally, before getting married, I thought a 3-5yr age gap (younger) is good. But thats not always the case, I married a girl 6yrs younger than me hehe.

Comes to dating: during the single days, I'm okay to date ... up to 10yrs older than i am.. but just about 5yrs younger too. And it didn't touched my ego when I get recommendations of a closer age range. :-) but then, It wasn't a dating site. Maybe case is different.

[patchuchai]

Thanks sa mga advice. Siguro its better for us to remain friends na lang. Sabi nga nila its not the age but time was not on our side.

[badw33d]

^ friends? really? I think you have to think like this: if your husband is in your current scenario, will you allow him? will you want him to do so?

What interest me is the "can't get off this person" thing. :-)

[TomHansen]

@patchuchai, goodluck sis!

@amethyst028, ang hirap naman nitong question mo napaisip tuloy ako hahaha.. Sa akin sana hanggang 2yrs younger lang kung pwede ayoko na mas bata pa dun. Mahirap din kasing ibase sa age pagpili ng partner since may mga mid 20's naman na matured na at mid 30's na isip bata.. If you dont like dating 56yrs old men then stop replying na lang, hindi naman mawawala ang tulad nilang predators at tatagal lang if you continue replying.. Offensive yes but dont worry it's part of dating at sa mga ganyang age wala na sa kanya yun makapal na balat niya.

[junetwentythree]

@amethyst028 When I was on an online dating site, I was also hit on by men who were considerably older. I had considered going out with someone who was 15 years my senior, he wasn't bad looking for his age, was a doctor but then when it came time to meet up, he kept calling and calling. He was super persistent to the point of annoying and a bit demanding. Then he had the gall to say that he didn't have time for games. I was like, what...? Guess he thought because he was a bit older, he could just go ahead and tell me what to do.

[red_yesha]

Gusto ko ng malaman kung ano talaga ang tunay na nararamdaman sakin ni crush.
Masagwa ba kung tanungin ko sya kung gusto nya ba ako? Naisip ko lang to kasi mamaya manunuod kami ng movie na kami lang dalawa.
Kung ok lang na magtanong ang babae, paano ko ba sya matatanong ng hindi awkward? Yung di ako mapapahiya masyado ? Hahaha.
Ayoko na kasing nakikipagbasahan ng utak.

[argento]

offensive ba yung kung sabihan kang may ipapa kilala sayo na mas closer sa age mo?

bakit ka pa nagreply eh alam mo ng 56yrs old yun?. you just open a line of communication. ang gusto ng matatandang caucasian eh mga pinay. dami ko kaya nakikita niyan kahit super lolo na patol pa rin ang pinay.

[Girltalker2]

^ haha 'Super lolo'
I guess there are some merits in dating older men. Theyre more patient, knows what they want and even richer. Yun nga lang minsan sagwa tingnan if he really looks a lot older than the girl.

^ Personally, before getting married, I thought a 3-5yr age gap (younger) is good. But thats not always the case, I married a girl 6yrs younger than me hehe.

Good for you bro!

Same tayo, kala ko 3-5 yrs was ok. But now that I've been there, done that. I believe that 5-15 years gap is ok.

A couple of reasons:
- women are more mature than men in general, so if same age, sometimes men stil not as serious in life compared to women
- women age faster once they reach 35yo and up, tendency she can look older than him especially if she is bigger than him, kaya better have that 10 year gap/cushion para he still looks more mature even when you both age

Gusto ko ng malaman kung ano talaga ang tunay na nararamdaman sakin ni crush.
Masagwa ba kung tanungin ko sya kung gusto nya ba ako? Naisip ko lang to kasi mamaya manunuod kami ng movie na kami lang dalawa.
Kung ok lang na magtanong ang babae, paano ko ba sya matatanong ng hindi awkward? Yung di ako mapapahiya masyado ? Hahaha.
Ayoko na kasing nakikipagbasahan ng utak.

Marami na nagtanong nito before dito sa GT. May mga nag encourage to just ask para sa ikatatahimik ng utak mo hehe

Pero para sakin, part ng dating101 ko never ever ask a guy. Reasons -

- Pag nalaman nya may gusto ako, either mahiya sya mapahiya ako, so oo nalang sya to save me some face. In which case, it doesn't achieve the purpose na gusto ko malaman totoo

- Pag ayaw naman nya sakin at honest sya, masaktan naman ako, and sabi mo nga puede ka rin mapahiya

- Pag loko yung guy (which Ito lagi nasa Isip ko better safe than sorry), he can easily take advantage of you and say yes kahit na di totoo

- Pag totoong may crush din sya sayo, at the back of my mind, I would always doubt kung totoo ba, kasi if totoo, he would tell me and ask me - no need for me to fish the truth di ba?

Kung gusto ka talaga ng guy, sya Gagawa ng paraan to make it known to you. If di pa sya ready, puede kasi he is in the get to know you stage palang and still not decided, tapos tatanungin mo ng ganyan, eh di parang pinapangunahan mo na agad. Baka Ma turn off pa sya. (But some guys turn on ata to)

Feeling ko darating ang time, (tamang panahon) that he will tell you IF he truly likes you. So bakit mo pa kailangan mag make ng first move? Let him be a man, let him approach you. Then after that, let him lead as well if he is ready to do the next step, sya din mismo gagawa ng paraan. All you need to do is enjoy the moments, kiligin and wait. Just enjoy the perks of being a lady.

Opinion ko lang naman ito. I'm sure there are other reasons din why it would be good to just ask. Good luck and have fun!

[badw33d]

Gusto ko ng malaman kung ano talaga ang tunay na nararamdaman sakin ni crush.
Masagwa ba kung tanungin ko sya kung gusto nya ba ako? Naisip ko lang to kasi mamaya manunuod kami ng movie na kami lang dalawa.
Kung ok lang na magtanong ang babae, paano ko ba sya matatanong ng hindi awkward? Yung di ako mapapahiya masyado ? Hahaha.
Ayoko na kasing nakikipagbasahan ng utak.

aks him: So what is this? what are we doing? is this going to be serious? hahaha... nahh... if a guy can't say or tell the girl what is/are his interntion/s, then it's up to the girl if she will continue with all the charade.The guy should at least make a damn decision and let you know right? same as you girls telling us if we're good :-)

[Girltalker2]

^ di naman kasi ganun ka simple. Sometimes you would initially be interested to 'get to know' him/her muna, by going out and spending time together. That is the only way you can tell kung may spark, kung na-meet ba nya ang criteria mo o hindi. Tsaka ka lang maka decide if she/he is good enough for you.

[TomHansen]

@red_yesha, ano nangyari sa date niyo? nagtanong ka ba?

Kung matagal ka nang nagbabasa ng isip niya at nababasag na ang utak mo then i think ok lang ikaw na mag-ask pero kung bago pa lang kayong ganyan then give him time. Siguro dahil crush mo siya kaya ka naiinip and you feel na ang bagal niya while siya gaya ng sinabi ni miss girltalker2 - nasa getting to know each other pa lang.

Friends ba kayo or colleagues? Before kasi ang iniisip ko rin is if gusto mo yung tao sabihin mo asap pero once you're in that situation na marami ka rin kailangang isipin like friendship and how it will affect the both of you kung di ka niya gusto(wag naman sana)..

wala namang mali kung ano piliin mong gawin red_yesha, mali lang kapag di mo kami in-update..

[red_yesha]

^thanks badw33d, Girltalker2 and Tomhansen.
Hindi ko natanong sakanya. Kasi di ko alam kung paano ko itatanong haha. Gaya nga ng sabe ko ayokong mapahiya.
Ayun kakauwi ko lang haha. Tagal namin nag usap. Nagyayaya pa nga sya ulit sa Sunday. Sabe nya gusto nya pa daw maulit.
Alam nyo maganda talaga ang date kasi napansin ko kapag nakikipag date ako yung naipon kong kilig nababawasan. Ewan ko ang weird lang hehe.
Sana mabawasan pa next Sunday para hindi sya lagi laman ng utak ko.
Salamat ulit guys! Naintindihan ko ng maiigi yung mga punto nyo

[dismembered]

^ Naiimagine ko ang iyong mga ngiti. Kinikilig kilig ka pa pagkauwi? Hahaha

Anyway, to answer your previous question, depende kasi talaga sa personality nyo ang magiging approach. Yung ibang guys, ayaw umamin sa feelings nila sa girl kasi yung iba ang observation eh kapag umamin sila sa girl, nagbabago naman bigla yung girl. Nagiging complicated lahat. So kung parehas in tune ang isip nyo, na ayaw nyo ng complicated lahat, better sabihin na at magkalinawan. Pero may feeling ako na medyo kulang pa ang time at masyado pang maaga para sa inyong dalawa. I think the best time na magkaaminan kayo eh yung time na parang feeling mo na masyado na kayong hook sa isa't isa? Enjoy nyo pa ang time nyo together. Open pa yung eyes. Pag alam mong sa sarili mo willing mo na tanggapin kahit ang mga faults nya, siguro yun na yung time na umamin ka... or else, baka kainin mo ang sinabi mo pag biglang na-turn off ka sa kanya. Ganyan ako bago umamin ng feelings. lol

BTW, Kung gusto mo talaga malaman ang feelings nya.. pwede ka naman mag tanong ng pa-joke. (Basta handa ka malaman ang totoo.) Madali naman bumawi pag hindi masyadong seryoso naman ang usapan. You could ask him like "Do you think you like me?" parang ganyan... Kapag sinabi nyang "Oo" eh di ayos.  Saka mo din sabihin na like mo din sya. Pag sinabi naman nyang "Hindi", (Ouch) saka ka bumawi ng "Ok lang, di rin naman kita gusto eh". Pag sinabi nyang "Ewan", sabihin mo di mo rin alam kung gusto mo sya. Basta light ang mood at wag masyado serious ang conversation madali mo matatanong.

[j.adore]

Lol I did this as in direct question though friend ko kasi siya at the time. He said no and we laughed and continued to be friends.
Ayon husband ko na siya ngayon haha!

Siguro it would help build your courage if, as mentioned, you're ready for anything he'll say.

[simang]

Kung gusto ka talaga ng guy, sya Gagawa ng paraan to make it known to you. If di pa sya ready, puede kasi he is in the get to know you stage palang and still not decided, tapos tatanungin mo ng ganyan, eh di parang pinapangunahan mo na agad. Baka Ma turn off pa sya. (But some guys turn on ata to)

THIS, hehe. Kaya hindi ako naniniwala na may lalaking torpe eh. Yung mga ayaw magsabi, or magparamdam, those are the guys na hindi pa sigurado. Given the right time/circumstance and the right person, a guy will let you know kung gusto ka nya.

Feeling ko darating ang time, (tamang panahon) that he will tell you IF he truly likes you. So bakit mo pa kailangan mag make ng first move? Let him be a man, let him approach you. Then after that, let him lead as well if he is ready to do the next step, sya din mismo gagawa ng paraan. All you need to do is enjoy the moments, kiligin and wait. Just enjoy the perks of being a lady.

This, too. Enjoy mo lang! Don't focus on how he really feels about you. Focus ka lang on what he does to and for you. Wag masyadong mag-isip.